44. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

Quinlan

Sunset arrives too early. Gorgeous shades of orange and red cast the buildings in the distance in a warm glow. They play along the waters of the Chicago River.

The world outside my window is beautiful. My life is beautiful.

I should be happy. Pleased. Content.

I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I earn more than enough to help my family. I don’t have to pull endless all-nighters to support them. My men forbade me from taking on new clients, even though I’m almost done with their website.

And even though my parents haven’t replied to any of my emails, I’m not worried about them. My men have someone looking after them. Rex does the rest.

As of two days ago, there are no more secrets between Damien and me. The last barrier that’s been standing between the four of us is gone.

Justice will be served. I’ll take part in it. They promised.

Life is as it should be.

Except me. I can’t get over the stories Liam, Rome, and Damien shared with me.

This again? my head asks, reproaching me. All of this will be done soon. Snap out of it.

Being content when your heart is a rotten, black organ kind of makes it impossible to see the good in this life.

This firsthand knowledge is heavy. So heavy. Every minute of every day has been filled with small deaths. My small deaths.

They have no idea I’m going through this. That once more, I’m pretending to be fine.

For their sakes. I’ve been smiling wide for the camera on my laptop. For the three of them at night, when they’d come home from work. I’m never hungry anymore, but I eat, for Rome.

The only time I’m even slightly relieved is during my boxing lessons. When they fuck me. Defile me. Rail into me. My heart doesn’t hurt as much when my body does.

Like it does now.

My laptop is open, so I have to rein in my gag reflex at a repulsive thought that pops into my head. Rex and I are blood related.

Jesus Christ.

We’ll get them, little flame , I remind myself of Liam’s words.

Of Rome’s. He needs to suffer some more, sweetheart. Him and Aria. Give it time. We promise you it’ll be worth it.

We’re making him wait like Jagger and Laurel and I had, darling. Damien, being so fucking reasonable. We knew pain would come and the fucker would stretch the fear out before he went at us. We have to wait.

I slam my laptop shut. Groan into the empty room. Grind my teeth. Press my knuckles to my eyes.

The three faces I love flash behind my closed eyes. Rome’s scowl. Damien’s hint of wicked amusement. Liam’s stoic expression, the fire in his eyes.

Deep breath.

Better. Much.

Bzz.

A message from Anne. It’s like she could sense I’ve been desperate for a friendly face. The photo she sent me is of her, flaunting her new business license. Dayton Marketing Solutions , the paper in her hands, says. Dayton, as in Nick’s and her last name.

My fingers fly across the screen on their own, typing to Anne how excited I am for her. How proud I am to have such a badass sister-in-law and a friend.

The phone buzzes again the moment I hear a low swooshing sound behind me. I put it down and spin on my chair in time to catch Rome, then Damien, then Liam filtering through the sliding bookshelf.

They couldn’t have been more handsome if they tried. Dark suits. Heated glares. Their lips pursed into a straight line.

Not a word. They say nothing as they form a circle around me, watching me, seeing through my white T-shirt and pale jeans. They see my heart.

The beginning of relief. That’s what it feels like. Metaphorical hands reaching into my heart and ripping away the pain.

My eyelashes flutter. This is more than just relief. This is longing. I’ll never have it any other way.

“You’re back early.”

Their jackets go on the floor. Sleeves rolling up their forearms.

“This doesn’t sound like good evening, I’m so glad you’re home .” Rome’s hand sinks into my hair, my locks fisted in his tight grip. He yanks on it, tilting my head to the side. His face lowers to mine. “We talked about this, did we not?”

“Ye—” The ‘s’ is silenced by Rome’s lips. By Rome’s bruising, all-consuming kiss and how he uses my hair to pull me closer.

Two hands join him. Liam’s thumb circles the tattoo on my cheek. He’s not gentle, not just stroking me. He pushes me to the side, deeper into Rome’s kiss.

Damien pinches my nipple through my shirt. Without a bra on, his fingers inflict pain. A glance his way, and I’m calmer than I was a second ago. He’s enjoying this, my pain. And I love that.

“Well?” Liam’s fingers move to my chin, stealing me from Rome. “Let’s hear it.”

His intense glare and low voice set me on fire. Even the lock of hair that falls on his forehead doesn’t make him look younger or sweet. He’s deadly, and he wants me.

Only me.

I start talking. He doesn’t care to hear it anymore. He’s ruthless as Rome was as he crushes his mouth to mine, tilting my head so he could fuck my mouth with his tongue. He licks me. Tastes me. Possesses me.

My eyes roll to the back of my head, and I gasp into his mouth. I reach for his scar and stroke it, grasp for it, caress it. I need him as much as he needs me. I need that manly, delicious groan from him.

Wetness pools between my thighs. My nipples are pulled tight, and Damien them. The roots of my hair burn, and it sets off more pleasure within me. More desire.

“Next time.” Damien’s fingers wrap around my arms, hauling me to my feet, pressing me to him. His sapphire eyes are dark, the shadows of scruff beneath his high cheekbones darker. “We won’t be so gentle. We’ll edge you, but you won’t get to come. We’ll give you a week of that.”

We’re playing a game. I fucking love our games. My heart isn’t as heavy when he’s like this.

“Denied orgasms?” My indignation is fake. His eyes glint anyway. “You would never—”

Damien is the third man to shut me up this evening. His teeth sink into my bottom lip, his satisfied grunt reverberating on my skin. He bites me harder, and I moan from how good the pain feels. From the taste of my own blood.

His fingers glide to the sides of my neck, his cock hard against my stomach. When I reach down to grab him, Damien breaks our kiss.

“Why?” I’m asking in the room in general. They really mean it. They’ll deny me orgasms. They can’t. I have to have this blinding, mind-numbing escape from reality. I have to have them. “You said next time.”

“Might’ve changed my mind.” Damien swipes his tongue over his lips, licking my blood off him.

“He didn’t.” Liam’s hand is at the small of my back. “You’ll have your orgasms today.”

I look up at him, and there are no embers in those eyes. The black pushes the color out.

“But?”

Rome’s at the door, his expression promising bad things. The worst things.

“We haven’t had dinner yet.” He beckons me to him, though it’s unnecessary. Liam’s pushing me in his direction. Toward the open door. “We’re starving.”

We . Not you haven’t eaten . This isn’t Rome.

“Oh, and Quinlan?” Damien curls his fingers around my wrist.

“Yes?”

“This won’t be like our other dinners. Nothing like it.” As I’m walking, he brings my middle finger to his mouth. Sucks. Bites. At my surprised yelp, he chuckles. “We’re going to play with our food this evening.”

Their bodies are an open book to me, and each gesture, each mimic, is a sign. An omen. This is going to hurt. A lot.

Instead of pushing them off me, instead of fighting to save myself, I allow them to lead me down the stairs. Toward the dining area.

We stop at the concrete slab dining table. Damien was right. This isn’t like any other dinner. There’s no food on the table. Not a single plate or a glass. Nothing other than a black candlestick in the center that houses a red candle.

Flick. Snap. Flick. Snap.

Liam’s stealthy. I haven’t realized he’s holding his Zippo. He’s here, all-powerful and gorgeous, commanding the lighter in his hand.

I admire Liam. How he conquered his trauma. Flipped it on itself and turned it into his ally.

Into something sexual.

“Curious, little flame?” His voice is thick with lust. With authority.

The shiver coursing through me is all I have. All he needs. It’s the yes my mouth can’t articulate.

I can’t stop staring at him. He’s painstakingly hot. His intensity is a live thing, searing my skin. Sending heat down between my legs.

Rome heads over to the fridge, and while I miss him, I’m also drawn to Liam’s thumb. The subtle, familiar slide of it along Zippo’s wheel and the flame that flickers there. It dances for him in the low light in the apartment, then it’s gone.

He grabs the candlestick and stalks off without another word.

I’m a ball of nervous energy and dark, depraved desires. I’m the embodiment of need. Of love. Of cravings.

“We could’ve fucked you here.” Damien’s lips are in my ear from behind me as he tugs the shirt off my body. “But formalities are overrated. We’re having dinner in the living room.”

Rome returns to us, rounding me. Facing me.

“That’s so you won’t starve until the actual dinner.” There’s a strawberry between his fingers, the fruit as red as his raw knuckles. He tips my face up to him. “And no. I don’t consider my cum as food.”

That’s the only warning I get.

His thumb forces my bottom lip down and the strawberry into my mouth. His jaw tics when it remains stuck there. Now that they’re here, I’m in a playful mood. Nothing hurts anymore, and I keep my teeth clenched.

“Open up.” His harsh tone and the second push of the strawberry do it. I give him what he wants, letting him shove the strawberry past my lips. “Good girl. Good fucking girl, sweetheart. Chew.”

Juice explodes in my mouth, trickling down my chin. It’s unnatural to eat it with Rome holding my lip like that. He doesn’t seem to mind, cleaning my chin just to rub it against my tongue. He groans, then sets to removing my jeans and panties.

He’s at his full height again, large hands cupping either side of my neck while Damien strokes my waist, the swells of my breasts.

Rome tilts his head. “You’ve been bad.”

The depths in his eyes are my undoing. My mind goes blank. “Me?”

“Yes, you, sweetheart. You can’t hide anything from us. Haven’t you realized it by now?” He releases me, holding one of my hands. The other is in Damien’s as they guide me to the living room where Liam waits. “But that’s okay. We don’t mind leaving work early for you. We’ll always do that.”

“You didn’t have to—”

“Yes, we do.” Damien pinches one of my nipples, hard. “We’re going to fuck the sadness out of you.”

My heart stutters to a stop. I’ve been doing so well. At least that’s what I thought. They see me, these men. They always do.

They came home early to kiss it better.

“By the end of the night, that shit will leave your body.” I’m pliant, nothing but a beating heart for Damien to manhandle as he wishes. He cradles me into his arms, his jaw strong on our way to the living room. “It’s not a request anymore. It’s an order.”

Once we’re there, he takes me to the floor, flips on his back and arranges me on top of him. I’m on all fours, straddling his legs. Liam takes the spot before me, his hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

“We won’t ask again.” Flames flicker in Liam’s eyes, but they remain as dark as before. Everything about him is dark. Every part of him is powerful.

Not just him. All of them.

Before I say a single thing, I get to work on Damien’s shirt. My marks are on him. Mine. No one stops me as I rip the buttons one by one, then push his undershirt up his torso.

Our scars are staring at each other. Our gazes collide.

His hands are on my cheeks, softness flickering in his eyes. It’ll be gone in the next second. Nothing about this night screams softness . “Better, darling?”

“Much.”

“You haven’t been, though.” Rome’s palm squeezes my ass.

A moan escapes from the firm contact. “I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

He spanks me for it. Once, twice, three times. Another three with the rugged back of his hand.

The humiliation doesn’t end there. He goes on, growing more ruthless when I cry out. The others don’t tell him it’s enough.

They know how much I love the pain. How it heals the broken parts of me.

“You’re not fine, but it’s okay.” Damien lowers my body to his while Liam watches us. His teeth clamping on my nipple sends another jolt of pain through me. A soothing pain. “Liam came up with a way to take care of your predicament.”

“We’ll play again once you’re truly better. Once you stop carrying this burden by yourself.” Liam bends to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. The candle in his grip is burning. The flame casts a soft glow on his scar and fuck, he’s gorgeous. Intimidating and hot. “You’ll let out those tears, Quinlan. You will, then we’ll take care of the rest. You won’t cry over this”—he emphasizes the word, because this isn’t one thing, it’s all of it—“ever again.”

“I’m dying, Liam.” By staying here. By not making a move on them.

“You’ll live.” Rome spreads my ass cheeks, revealing the most private parts of me to him. His gaze scalds me, though I can’t see him looking. I do feel the things he’s doing to me, how he spits on my tightest hole, his finger circling the wet, sensitive rim. “It’s a matter of days. A matter of patience.”

“This isn’t even about them anymore.” One of Damien’s hands holds the side of my neck, the other one unbuckling his belt. “This is about you being a good girl and doing as you’re told.”

“It’s about us getting off on punishing you.” Rome adjusts my hips, sliding me up and down on the tip of Damien’s cock. My lips part for him, and it’s so hot the way his cock throbs inside me. The way Rome handles me. “Just because.”

“Oh, fuck. You’re soaked.” Damien lets out a virile, desperate moan. His jaw locks, his hands finding my hips, and then I’m all the way down. Impaled on his cock, struggling to catch my breath, I feel everything . “You’re so good. Except it’s not enough to make it up to us.”

“Hold her in place,” Liam orders while I’m still thinking about how to answer Damien. “Steady.”

Damien and Rome listen. I’m there, pinned to Damien’s body, held down by Rome’s hands.

“Good.” Liam’s shadow disappears. He isn’t leaving, though—oh, no. He walks to my side, his fingertips lighting up the nerve endings on my back. “You’ve taken wax to your beautiful skin before.”

“Yes.” It hurt, that day. It created a stronger bond between us.

His fingers go lower, tapping the top of my butt. “Flip her on her back.”

This single command has the men spinning me. My back is to the floor and Damien’s a beast on top of me. Rome gets on his knees near my face, his blue eyes watching me as he pushes his pants down, as he relieves his cock from his boxer briefs. He’s throbbing, big, and a drop of precum wets the tip.

But he won’t fuck my face. He’ll wait. Liam is on his knees at my side, and his candle is going to mark me.

“Don’t hold back on your screams, darling.” Rome strokes himself, his hand gliding over the ridges of his length.

“I’d take that any day over your silence.” Damien rubs my clit, being soft. Purposefully so, to torture me.

“Please.” I sink my heels to the floor, attempting to rock myself against him. Encouraging him to shove himself into me. For any of them to do it.

“Not yet.” With a hand on my navel, he pushes me down.

“Please, fuck me.” My eyes fly between the three of them. “You’re torturing me. It’s not fair. It’s the worst. Please.”

Liam proves me wrong. Shows me it can in fact get worse when a drop of red wax lands between my breasts. Pain slices through me, and while I won’t die from it, it hurts. It’s so good.

“Pain can come in different ways.” Liam’s thumb rubs the wax into my skin when the second drop splashes on the spot right above it.

“Liam,” I grit out, staying in the moment. Staying with the pain.

“Good girl.” Rome slides a hand to cup the back of my neck, lifting my head up to smear his precum on my lips.

My attention splits between him and the wax on me. I’m being stretched and ripped and it’s wonderful. My tongue darts out to taste him on my lips, on his cock.

Right when Liam tortures me with another stroke of wax on one of my breasts. A bigger drop, by the feel of it. The first tears leak out of the corners of my eyes, sliding down my temples and to the floor.

“You’re beautiful like this.” Damien rocks into me, just a little.

“That’s it.” I tilt my head to Liam. His lips quirk to the side in an evil smirk that reaches his eyes. He’s been waiting for this, for the perfect moment. “That’s better. You’re being such a good girl, little flame. Taking it like the good fuck doll you are.”

“This is the only pain you’re allowed to feel. We’ll take care of the rest for you, darling.” Damien draws back, rocks his hips and isn’t anywhere near enough. It’ll only be enough when he splits me in half. “You’ll have everything. There’s no need to be sad. We’ve got you.”

He’s talking about how impatient I’ve been. How I do my best to carry the pain by myself. How I’m failing.

And how they understand.

“I get it.” My hips lift. Damien’s hand pushes me back down, his palm flat on my scars. “I get it.”

“I believe you.” Rome still holds my head up, his thumb caressing my cheek. “I’m not sure Liam does.”

“I’m not sold, no.” My other breast heats up as the wax makes contact again. And the other one, back and forth. On my navel. “Convince me, Quinlan.”

I can’t. My screams are being ripped from my chest.

Rome silences me, teasing my lips with his cock. Damien rocks in and out of me with more force. Liam’s painting me in wax. One drop after the other, he goes lower down my body. Each one of them is a show of love. Of possession.

They’re vicious. Focused. Gorgeous.

“Look at yourself.” Rome’s gentle as his thumb strokes the back of my head. He pulls back, lifting me higher. “Look at how beautiful you are.”

Liam is silent as my eyes skim over the patches of red wax. I’m covered in it, down to the stripes where they marked me. He made me like this.

And he’s watching me, his body brimming with curiosity as he waits for my reaction.

“I love it,” I say through the tears. “I’ve never felt more beautiful in my entire life. More seen.”

Liam’s face lights up, his satisfaction evident, even though he isn’t smiling. He puts a hand on Damien’s shoulder—a sign for him to start pummeling into me. Damien does exactly that, sitting on his knees, fucking me into the floor.

Another drop of wax lands on my navel.

Rome releases my head to the floor, but this isn’t an innocent gesture. I see where Liam’s going with this.

While Damien’s inside me, Liam spreads my pussy lips, splashing wax on my clit. It’s sadistic. It’s a turn on. The gesture is such an intimate one.

What a heady feeling it is, to be owned and loved like that.

“Fuck,” I scream, struggling to catch my breath.

“We aren’t anywhere near done with you.” Rome moves around me, his thighs bracketing my face. He shoves his cock inside me, fucking my mouth.

With his cock inside me, Liam’s wax on my body and Damien railing me, I unravel. I come, moan and gasp. I’m desperate for air. Choking harder on Rome. Damien’s hands are there too. Beneath my thighs, raising my body in an angle that allows for his cock to reach the deepest. Into my womb.

“You make me so hard.” Liam’s fingers are on my clit, rubbing the wax on it. Prolonging my orgasm. “The way you break for us. The way you never give up. Our plaything. Our everything. Ours.”

They keep doing that for long minutes. Rome’s eyes on mine, his palm on my cheek as he takes his pleasure from my mouth. Liam twists my clit between his fingers, his other hand palming my breast.

And Damien…

“I’m close.” Damien thickens inside me. I haven’t stopped coming. Or I did, and I’m coming again. That, too, hurts so good. “Such a good girl, squeezing me like that. Such a good. Fucking”—he lifts one ankle to his lips, bites—“girl. Begging me to put babies inside you.”

Damien sinks his teeth into my flesh and it sets off his orgasm. He curses, groans, and holds me tighter as he shoots his cum inside me.

My muffled scream is what does it to Rome. His hand is wrapped around my throat as he tells me, “Fuck, you feel good. Fuck, you’re perfect. Take all my cum, sweetheart. Yes, just like that. I want to see you swallow.”

I do, swallowing every drop down my throat. My lips are bruised, and my throat is tight, but I take all of it. Rome pulls out, tucks himself in and sits next to me.

“Beautiful.” He drags a finger over my wet chin, teasing my lips with his fingertip. I kiss him. “As beautiful as you were the first time the three of us used your pretty little body to get off.”

The dream from the other night. Me, waking up without my panties.

“What?” The word is garbled around Rome’s fingers.

“Please.” I’m empty and needy when Damien draws out of me. I miss him already when he tucks himself back into his boxer briefs and zips up. “Pretending you have no idea what we’re talking about.”

“Did you…” My speech is garbled from Rome’s finger in my mouth. He moves it to the side, keeping it in my mouth so I can talk. “Drug me?”

“You did. Sort of. The melatonin helped.” Liam’s between my thighs, spreading them. He’s fixated on my face while he drags my arousal and Damien’s cum from thighs. He groans when he pushes it back inside of me, his teeth grazing his bottom lip. “The rest was all you. You were so sweet that you let us.”

I want to say I didn’t let them do anything. I really didn’t. But how can I be mad at them? At the men I love? At the people who came to take me when I myself had no idea how badly I needed it?

I can’t. I won’t.

At least this time I’m awake for what they’re doing to me. I inch my legs wider for Liam, nodding my consent. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t ask for it. I give it to him anyway.

He slams into me, his heated eyes going completely black.

“Goddamn it, Quinlan.” His breath is ragged.

His attention moves from my face down my wax covered body. Red. The color of blood. The color of war.

The color of love.

“Still so tight.” Liam’s thick cock stretches me, his fingers digging into my ass and holding it up. His cock thrusts ruthlessly into me while Rome keeps fucking my mouth with his fingers. “After all this time. Little flame. Look at you. Tight and soaked like your cunt forgot that I own her. I own every hole in your body. And when I come inside you? I’ll fuck babies in there. You’ll be swollen with them. Always.”

His gruff voice and barely contained pleasure have my stomach coiling. Another orgasm builds inside me. This one will be a strong one. Painful.

His.

Theirs.

Liam drops to all fours and Rome releases my mouth. One hand on my cheek, the other supporting his weight. He’s being brutal, the way he’s fucking me. Intense with how he’s looking at me.

He isn’t taking me missionary style. He’s choking me with one hand now, finding new angles to ram into me, sinking deeper and harder and—Jesus, that’s so good.

While he looks me in the eye and fucks me like he hates me, the other men touch me. They twist my nipples. Fist my hair at the top of my head and pull.

They’re savages. Relentless.

They’re making me come.

The darkness of the room turns into a bright light. White explodes behind my eyes. Tremors wrack my body and I’m gasping for air, gasping for something .

Which is already there. Liam kisses me first as he spills his seed inside of me with a growl.

“You did so well.” He breaks the kiss to sit on his knees, to keep rocking into me as more of his cum fills me.

“Our woman.” Damien’s handsome, smiling face hovers over me. He bends to kiss me, with Liam still inside me, soft and sweet. Of course, he has to end it with a bite.

My bottom lip stings when it’s Rome’s turn.

“We’re yours.” His brow furrows, as though it’s a struggle to say it, to know he’s owned by another person. But then he kisses me, and he’s so gentle and affectionate, I have no doubt he wants this. “We’ll always be yours. Always.”