Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

M ia watched as Kyle left the house for the garage and once she heard the door close behind him, she slumped forward on the stool and put her head down on the cool countertop. Contrary to what she'd just told him, she wasn't good. She was so far from good that she didn't have the words to express the truth of how she was feeling.

Nothing felt familiar to her. She had tried to fit in with Kyle and his family, but she still had this nagging awareness that these were not her people, no matter how kind and welcoming they'd been since she had met them. It was maddening. It was almost as if she was standing next to her true self, but she couldn't reach that person, no matter how hard she tried. The truth of who she was remained elusive, as if it was sitting right at the edge of her consciousness but she couldn't reach in and grab it. And while that was frustrating, it paled in comparison to how she was feeling about Kyle.

Mia could not deny her growing attraction to this man. Her initial wariness of why he was trying to help her, a total stranger, disappeared long ago. For as strong and commanding he was, she'd seen his other side; he was flawed and vulnerable himself. Whatever had happened that night when he shot that young boy by mistake had forever changed him, that was clear. Maybe he stopped to help her after her accident out of a need for redemption, or maybe, now knowing him better, he'd stopped because that's just who he is, she couldn't know for sure. The only certainty she currently had about anything was the way she felt about him. Her life had been turned upside down with that car crash, but it had brought him to her. Was that so terrible?

She lifted her head and looked at her daughter, happily kicking her feet in the little seat that must have once been used by Sibby's children. This house was certainly equipped for family life. "Sarah," she asked the little girl. "What have I done? What are we going to do, you and I?"

The baby just looked at her, blue eyes wide, her hand fisted as she tried to put it into her mouth.

"And we're stuck inside today, the weather is terrible. We're in the middle of nowhere. It's almost gothically romantic. I'll need to watch myself. I can't fall for this man; do you hear me?" It was as though saying the words out loud would have a greater impact on her. They didn't.

The baby just cooed back to her mother, kicking her feet harder as if to say that she was excited to spend the day with Kyle as well. Mia looked out one of the enormous windows at the ocean, waves high and roiling, the slate gray sky reminding her of Kyle's gaze. She shook her head. It was going to be a long day.

By the time Kyle returned from the garage, Mia had managed to make a large pot of oatmeal. She wasn't sure why, but the warm cereal felt both reminiscent of something she couldn't place yet comforting, totally appropriate for a cold morning. She was in the pantry looking for brown sugar when she heard him come through the mud room. When she stepped into the kitchen, he was there, filling the space, his cheeks red from the cold.

"It is freezing outside," he said, pouring more hot coffee into the mug he'd left on the counter. "That's unusual for this time of year. I moved the car into the garage. If we get more of that icy rain, at least I won't need to scrape it off again."

"Would you like some hot oatmeal?" she asked him.

Yeah, that would be great."

She spooned some into a bowl for him and passed over the small ramekin of brown sugar she'd found in the pantry.

"Thanks," he said. "This looks great. Do you think this is something you ate as a kid?"

"I don't know. I didn't think about it, but now that you ask, it was just something I knew how to make. I don't know why that is, but…"

They both ate in silence for a few minutes, then he asked, "Are we okay after last night?"

She felt a mix of sadness and relief. It would be good to clear the air. "Of course," was all she managed to say.

"Good," he replied, although she didn't think he sounded convincing. He abruptly changed the topic as if moving on from it would make the sexual tension between them disappear. "There are some basic things I can show you about the house, and I also thought it might be best if we discussed what would happen if those men somehow showed up here."

Her eyes widened. "I thought we came all this way here to avoid that," she replied.

"We did, but we should be prepared for anything. I think we're safe here. We know that there were no tracking devices on anything we brought with us -- we got rid of the one we found. I just believe in preparation for any possible eventuality, that's all."

She suddenly had trouble swallowing her oatmeal and pushed to bowl to one side. "You don't plan on leaving me alone here, do you? Because it's a big house and I'm…"

"No, Mia, of course not. I'm just concerned that there might be a chance that we need to defend ourselves. If that happens, I think we should both know what to do."

She felt a shiver of fear run up her spine. It was bad enough that she could not remember who she was or have a clue as to why those men were after her. It was worse to think that they might come back again. She needed a moment to think. "Let me get dressed in something warmer. I'll just be a minute."

Mia turned to lift the baby out of the seat when she heard him say, "You can leave her there. She looks happy enough. I've got her."

"Okay," she replied. "I'll be right back." She ran up the stairs and into her room. She certainly could have done whatever Kyle had planned for them wearing her flannel pajama pants and oversized sweatshirt, but she felt the need to insulate herself from him, especially if they were going to be working together, potentially sitting near one another on the couch. She felt that familiar rumbling in the base of her stomach, the desire that she could not turn off no matter how many times she told herself that any further involvement with him was a bad idea. She would end up heartbroken at the end of this and she couldn't afford to wallow for weeks in self-pity when she had a baby to take care of.

She stripped off her nightwear and grabbed a pair of wool slacks, a blue pin-striped button-down blouse, and a heavy navy cardigan from her luggage. Then she found a thick pair of socks for her feet. She brushed her teeth and her hair, swiping on a coat of mascara before squaring her shoulders in attempt to bolster her own confidence. She went back downstairs with what she told herself was a determined attitude. I'll let him help me figure out who I am and be on my way. I've inconvenienced Kyle and his entire family for way too long now.

At the bottom of the steps, she could hear him talking to her daughter, but they weren't in the kitchen. She continued past the large dining room to follow the sound of his voice and found them behind a large computer monitor at the desk in the office. Looking around, she saw that three of the four walls had built-in bookshelves; the other wall was all glass. Behind it was a tall sand dune now covered in ice. It looked like it housed a million shimmering diamonds on its surface as the wind shifted the sand around and around.

She cleared her throat to let him know that she was standing there. "Hmm," she said. "You weren't kidding about the books. There are a lot of them."

"Yeah," he smiled. "It's been a lifetime of collecting. My mom's quite the reader and most of these are hers. She's gone through them all."

"That's wonderful. I might take you up on your suggestion and grab one to read later."

"Great," he replied. Then he gestured for her to come around to see the tab he had open on the computer screen. "I was able to trace your credit card. It checks out that the billing address is the one in Manhattan, the same one that's on your license. Apparently, it's paid electronically. I think that I'd need the IP address of the actual recipient of the bill to track who's been paying it each month, but I'm hopeful that one of the guys in the consumer fraud department downtown will be able to help with that. I'm going to send him an email now. You have a Gmail account as well – did you know that?"

"No," she said.

"Well, you do. It's on the billing information. Would you have any idea what the password might be?"

She looked at him with a blank expression. She couldn't even believe he was asking her that question. "No, sorry. If I don't know my name, how would I have any idea what the password to that account might be?"

"Sometimes odd things remain in your mind, is all. Once when I had a concussion, I could remember what I ate right before the game but not the hit that sent my head into the boards. I was thinking that maybe you have bits and pieces coming back to you and maybe they don't make sense. A password might be a phrase you commonly used prior to the accident, something that just seems like it would work. I tried Sarah's birthday, but no luck."

She stared back at him, not knowing what to say, or how to explain that there was nothing in her mind that could help. He looked so earnest, so concerned, that her annoyance with his question quickly faded. Despite her earlier resolve to finally be well enough to be on her way and escape from this nightmare, now all she wanted in this moment was to find herself in his arms once more. She couldn't make believe any longer. She had fallen for this stranger. There was no way out of it now and that thought scared her as much as the one about the men finding them here. She may be safe hiding here, keeping out of sight and out of the reach of the men on her trail, but by doing that, had she made herself more vulnerable to something riskier? Kyle had made it all too easy for her to lose her heart to him and that, she realized, was more dangerous than any outside threat could ever be.

During Sarah's morning nap, Kyle walked Mia through the kitchen and showed her the door to the basement. They went down the creaky stairs together. It was freezing. Cold air radiated off the cement walls and floor.

"It's unfinished down here, but I realize that if you had to hide somewhere, there's a large cedar closet, and it locks. It won't keep a professional out, but it will buy us some time. If there's any sort of intruder, grab the baby and come down here. Let me show you where it is," he said, grabbing her hand and leading her to the very back of the large space.

Mia shivered, but not from the artic conditions in the basement. Is this where my life has led me? Hiding from some unknown shadow from my past? If I could only remember something – anything – maybe that would help me understand why I feel like I'm running from danger. UGH! Why can't I remember? She followed closely behind him as he showed her where the closet was located. He opened the door and flipped on the light. A pleasant, sharp woodsy odor met her nose. They stepped inside and she was surrounded by colorful ski clothing, down jackets and extra heavy blankets neatly stacked on shelves. Ice skates hung by their laces on hooks against one of the walls. There was a rack of snow boots in a variety of sizes as well.

"Wow. Your family is prepared for winter, that's for sure."

"This house is not far from some great ski mountains. We would often stop here and gear up before heading further north." He reached out and touched one of the jackets, pulling out the paper ticket attached to its zipper and smiled.

Hmm. It must be nice to have memories of family trips. Hell, what she wouldn't give for a glimmer of what her life was like before she crashed that car.

"Mia are you with me?" he asked with a grin, shaking her out of her reverie.

She turned and took in the entire closet. There were no windows, but there was a bench in one corner. She imagined that this is where the kids would sit while having their boots laced. The tone of his voice changed just then, from lighthearted to serious, and she knew his detective training was kicking in.

"Mia. If you have to come in here, lock yourself in. I have the key and will come for you once any danger has passed." He turned to show her the deadbolt lock and how to secure the door. "Don't open the door unless I say, ‘Wellfleet.' We'll use that as our password to know that you and Sarah are safe."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," she said.

"It probably won't, but I feel better knowing that I can keep you and Sarah safe. Let's go back upstairs. It's freezing down here."

He grabbed her hand again and they hurried back into the warmth of the first floor of the house. "Did you have a chance to look around upstairs?"

"Aside from my room and Sarah's, no."

"It's pretty basic. Lots of beds." He smiled. "I do have a large family."

"You're lucky if you ask me. You have your people, and they'd do anything for you."

He looked at her then and she felt the sincerity in his gaze all the way down to her toes. "Mia. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to find your family. And under the unlikely circumstance that I don't, you'll always have me."

For a moment she stood frozen, hearing his words, and processing their meaning. The next thing she knew, she vaulted herself into his arms, and felt his welcoming embrace. After that, it was only a matter of which bedroom they would choose.