4. Karmen

4

KARMEN

S hock speared through me, each of Sunzi's words a physical bolt that made me tremble.

"I know queens are few and precious," I said quickly, blinking away a fresh flood of scalding tears. "But?—"

"The fuck if we care about that," Vlad ground out.

"What the Impaler is so inelegantly trying to say is all we care about is you, Your Majesty," Sunzi said. "Besides, it might not be a queen at all. It might be more like Sepdet or one of his ilk, twisted by his sire's blinding light until only evil remains. If you wish to be rid of it, then do so."

"But how?" I couldn't stop shaking. "I didn't want to carry his heir in the first place. I don't know how Aima queens breed, let alone how I might cleanse his spawn out of me."

"Forgive my ignorance, Your Majesty, but can you simply blast it with your power?" Marcus asked. "You crushed Sepdet into nothing."

"I can try. Though it's inside me. It's already tainted with Ra's seed." I swallowed hard. "What if blasting it with my solar power only makes it stronger? We all saw what happened to the other queens who bore his offspring."

I didn't see it with my own eyes, but Sepdet bragged about devouring his twin and then killing his mother as he was born for his first meal. The thought made my stomach churn with nausea again, but I swallowed hard. Willing their blood to settle my nerves.

"When we looked at it together, you said before you could sweep it away like a leaf," Sunzi reminded me. "The goddess said it was your choice. If you choose to be rid of it, then so be it."

Could it really be that easy? I would never forget the horrors Ra had done to me. What I'd endured—for centuries. I'd done what I needed to do to survive. Perhaps that was why the goddess had allowed the spark to take hold in me in the first place. To finally give my Blood the sign they needed to get me out of Heliopolis—because the queen was coming who'd make Ra mortal and end his noxious reign.

My choice.

Trembling in their arms, I breathed deeply, taking in their scents. Burning spices, both sweet and savory. Cinnamon and sage, myrrh and some kind of leaves. Bay or laurel, I wasn't sure. Smoky honey and molasses, slow and thick despite the molten sunfires.

Bright goddess, Sól. Please help me.

Her presence filled my mind, slowly at first, like the first rays of the sun breaking the sky at dawn. :The Sun Incarnate burns in you, Daughter. Embrace your rage. Like heat burns away impurities from iron ore, purify yourself of the dross that troubles you.:

My power simmered as Sól rose higher inside me. A boiling, burning sun pulsing with red flares of sunfires surging up out of the molten solar energy. Many of them took horse-like shapes, though there were winged animals like phoenixes and dragons too and many other shapes I couldn't identify.

Screaming out blackened flames, Quasar, the primary consciousness trapped by Sepdet, reared up in my mind. His mane rippled with fire, laced with vicious spikes and tentacles that whipped around his proud head. The rest of his body was more like a giant black horse, though cracks in his hide revealed the glowing red of his sunfire energy like lava beneath the surface.

He bowed his head toward me, his muzzle velvety soft despite the flaming solar energy that formed his shape. The crushing power of the black hole I'd used to kill Sepdet belonged to Quasar, not me.

Though as soon as I thought it, I stood in a swirling storm of sunfires, spinning around the black hole at their center. Me.

A dull, ceaseless roar filled my ears. A million angry bees. An entire herd of stampeding horses and elephants. Thunderous booms of colliding asteroids and planets disintegrated by the formidable pull of a black hole's gravity. All the power of the universe streamed around me, tumbling galaxies and flashing comets mixed with the burning sunfires.

My sunfires. They burned with infinite fury at being trapped for so long. For being warped and enslaved, their very nature changed for eternity by one god's obsession.

Me too. I would never be the same. The happy child who'd lived in this house and climbed olive trees under a perfect golden sun and blue sky. For so long, I wished I'd died when Ra's minions burned the house down around me.

But I lived. I survived. I escaped.

This is my life, now. For the first time in centuries, I'm free to live the way I wish.

I choose to learn how to be an Aima queen.

I choose to learn more about the men my Blood used to be—and can be again for me alone. Sunzi, Vlad, Marcus, Goyaa?é, Leonides, the Scotsman, Kuros, Chak Ek', Miyamoto Musashi, and Hannibal Barca.

I choose to embrace my solar power. I choose Quasar and the sunfires.

I choose me .

The dull roar intensified, filling my ears with a steady drone that was also oddly musical and tonal. The Sun boiled, swelling and expanding as it rose. It hovered ahead of me, burning on the horizon. Rivers of gold flowed from the Sun, warm on my bare feet. Solar music called to me, inviting me to step into the blaze of glory.

So I did.

MARCUS

Sun lay her back gently onto the mattress, though neither I nor Vlad released her hands.

I watched her sleep, unable to look away for a single moment. My will focused entirely on her. The rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. The steady thud of her heart as she sank deeper into wherever she'd gone. Her body might be here, but her mind seemed far away, stretched thin enough I couldn't follow.

Heat rose from her body, her cheeks and throat flushed. Sweat dampened her hair, making it stick to her skin. Though she rested quietly, so I didn't think she was ill.

A chime sounded, making us all jump. Vlad pulled the phone back out of his pocket and let out a soft grunt. "The human says a meeting has been arranged with the Sunna consiliarius for tomorrow morning at the hotel."

"Hopefully she'll awaken by then," Sunzi whispered. "If not, we'll reschedule. She needs her rest."

"He asks again if we need anything," Vlad said. "One of us can meet them first and allow her to rest."

"What about clothes for our queen?" I asked, keeping my voice low so as not to disturb her sleep. "We can go to the mortal plane as Soldiers of Light, but she may not want to be clothed in bees again."

"Good point. Though I'm not sure he'll be of much help arranging female clothing."

"I can help," I offered. "I loved dressing…" My mind froze, my mouth falling open for a moment in shock. Once upon a time millennia ago, I'd loved picking out a human queen's clothing. I could remember her name, Cleopatra, but not her face. Not her personality. Only a flash of her standing in front of me, twirling in a gown, waiting for me to critique her attire.

"Good," Sun replied without waiting for me to continue the thought. "Ask Kevin to gather a variety of clothing that may be suitable for our queen and anything else he can think of. He's a bright lad. I'm sure he'll know more earthly things she might need than us."

Vlad typed a response on the phone and nodded. "He conveyed our request to the Sunna consiliarius who's eager to be of service. She'll pull things together and text when it's ready so we can arrange to pick up the supplies."

Karmen let out a soft sigh in her sleep and shifted onto her side, regretfully away from me, so I allowed her fingers to slide out of mine. She curled on her side, her arms drawn up against her chest, covering her breasts. Even in her sleep, she felt the need to protect herself. Even from us.

Automatically, we shifted to using our queen's bonds so our voices didn't disturb her again.

:Do you really think we ought to talk to Smoak?: Sun asked. :We could simply glean information from the sunfire collective.:

:I don't know that I trust her,: I admitted. :No offense, but she doesn't carry our queen's bond so we can't assume her best interests are at play.:

:She knows our queen carries Ra's heir and did not divulge that information to her queen,: Vlad said. :The sunfires all know but she kept our queen's secret, even from her own.:

Sun radiated doubt though he didn't say a word.

I couldn't imagine knowingly keeping a secret from Karmen. :Honestly, that makes me trust Smoak even less.:

Vlad silently rolled his eyes. :I'm sure the Isador queen could have the secret if she willed it. But the sunfires agree our queen's secret is safe with Smoak. That's not an easy thing to accomplish.:

:How do you know so much?: I couldn't resist asking. :Even the tidbit about Dracula. I've never heard that shit before.:

He grinned widely, flashing his teeth. With his burning eyes, he looked more than a little insane. :I listen.:

:To what?: Sun asked.

Vlad slipped the phone back in his pocket and shrugged. :Everything.:

Sun lightly laid the back of his fingers against Karmen's forehead. :Her temperature's going down. Hopefully she accomplished her goal.:

:Do you think she was able to rid herself of Ra's spawn?: I asked.

:When she's aware, I'll ask her if she'd like me to look inside her again,: Sun replied. :Though we should discuss contingency plans. If our queen isn't able to cleanse herself, she'll need help. Who do we trust with her secret to gain such assistance?:

:One of the two queens,: I replied. :She'll need someone of power, maybe even more power than she alone has. Though our queen burns with the power of the universe itself.:

:What about human medicine?: Vlad offered. :They helped her in the hospital.:

Sun carefully pulled a coverlet up over our queen so she didn't chill after the heat broke inside her. :She said there was a doctor who knew she wasn't human. Maybe we can take her back there if she needs help. Though I'm loath to trust anyone, let alone humans, to help her.:

:Same.: I shook my head. :Kevin may be a sharp lad but he's still human. So is this new consiliarius. She may prove helpful but I don't know that we can trust her.:

:We don't.: Sun let out a low grunt. :We trust no one with our queen's safety but us. Ever.: