11. Sunzi

11

SUNZI

K armen's shoulders quivered beneath my palms, and it was all I could do not to pull her up into my arms and carry her back through the portal. Just to bring her back to comfort and peace.

She needed answers. Though I wished we could provide her everything she needed, so we didn't have to rely on this human.

"At the lake, Shara Isador said she died when she came into her power. She said all of the solar goddesses blessed me with their gifts because I'm the last solar queen."

Dagny inclined her head, her lips quirked. "I was hesitant to mention the rest of the legacies immediately. I didn't want to overwhelm you."

"The rest of what?" Vlad demanded, as on edge as me.

"Forgive me, sirs. I'm absolutely willing to tell our queen everything she could ever wish to know, as honestly and succinctly as possible. However, much of what has happened in the past few weeks won't make sense until you see it."

"And where can she see it to better understand?" My voice rang with displeasure. "You see the conundrum here? It would be far too easy for you to mislead us with half-truths into a trap designed to separate us from our queen. Which I warn you will be the last thing you ever attempt to do."

To her credit, the woman's eyes narrowed with determination, glinting like pure hammered silver. She didn't wilt under our censure and doubt. "I've waited my entire life to see House Sunna rise in prominence with our returned queen, and for hundreds of years, so did my ancestors. The absolute last thing I'd ever wish to do would be to jeopardize her safety in any way. I fully understand the queen-Blood bond, and it's her best protection."

Some of the tension straining in my shoulders lessened. I gave her a grudging nod. "I won't allow her out of my sight, unless she orders it."

Karmen reached up to lay her hand firmly on mine. "Which I will never do."

"Then we're agreed," Dagny said in a light yet firm voice. "You need a place of safety, Your Majesty. For an Aima queen, that means a nest protected by your blood circle. There's no blood circle here, so that's very likely why you're all so tense. Add to that the strangeness of this world after being gone for so long, as well as a long captivity, and it's no wonder that you're uncomfortable."

"A blood circle?" Karmen removed her hand from mine to pick up the wine glass. "There's so much I've never heard of, and my Blood aren't Aima either."

"Not Aima? I've never heard of such a thing." Dagny's eyes flared, the delicate skin crinkling in the corners. "But not to fear. We have many trusted contacts who'll be pleased to offer advice and assistance."

"You saw our alternative forms the first time we visited," Vlad said. "We were once human, then resurrected to be eternal Soldiers of Light in Heliopolis."

"Ra's domain," Dagny said slowly, her eyes gentling. "I know it must be awful and painful, but the more I understand about your past, the more I can help fill in the gaps of your knowledge."

Outwardly, Karmen didn't reveal any emotion, but her bond burned with a brilliant solar flare. "His vizier took us from Aunt Lynnea's house. Our captivity was not… pleasant." She paused to take a sip of the wine, then another when she approved of its crisp sweetness on her tongue. "As I said before, Ra wanted a solar queen of House Helios. Since Mama had successfully borne an heir, he tried with her first. When she died, he fed her to the sunfires."

The calm, flat tone of her voice stabbed my heart with a million vicious spears. I couldn't see her face, but I remembered all too well the blank marble of her expression day after endless day in Heliopolis. Unseeing. Unthinking. Unfeeling.

So she could survive.

I understood, but I couldn't bear her to suffer another moment of emptiness. Touching her shoulder wasn't enough. Instinct insisted I needed skin-to-skin contact with her to remind her that she was alive. We were all alive—thanks to her.

I wasn't sure what the human would think, let alone my queen. I'd been very careful with the way I touched her so far. But the urge to find her skin couldn't be quelled. I gently curled my fingers around the front of her throat, my thumb stroking back and forth beneath her chin.

Her breath sighed out. When she tipped her head against the back of the chair, I could only curse the high wooden frame and wish I could feel her head against my stomach. She swallowed beneath my fingers, and my cock thudded hard enough I almost allowed a groan to escape. Even though she'd allowed—encouraged—the release earlier, I couldn't calm the constant erection. She'd opened the door a crack—and now I strained to hold any amount of control over my own damned body.

:I'm sorry,: she whispered. :Though I don't regret it.:

:Me neither, my queen. That wasn't a complaint, though it's damned inconvenient in these strange breeches.:

Marcus barely smothered a chuckle. :They're called jeans.:

Unaffected by the minor physical demonstration and blissfully ignorant of our conversation in the bond, Dagny brought us back to the conversation at hand. "Sunfires?"

"They were created in a dying star as it exploded. I suppose they're a sort of solar demon or elemental." Karmen's husky voice only made my cock swell even more. "They carry the universe's solar energy, so naturally the god of light found a way to control them for his own use. Each Soldier of Light carried a sunfire, which gave them terrifying power. Over the centuries, those powers only worsened as they were warped by Ra's influence."

"And these sunfires killed Queen Solveig?"

Karmen shook her head, rubbing the silken skin of her throat against my palm. "Yes and no. Ra had already broken her spirit and damaged her severely. Though I was forced to watch the sunfires tear her apart and devour her."

A soft cry escaped Dagny's lips. Tears filled her eyes and then spilled down her cheeks. "Goddess. I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. That's horrible. How old were you?"

"I don't know," she replied softly. "There were no nights to mark the passing of a day. Every moment was endless. An eternity. For so long, I hated the sunfires for what they did to Mama. Now… I understand."

Both sundogs whined softly, and War dared to nudge his head into her lap, more confidently when she stroked him.

Dagny wiped her eyes delicately with a cloth napkin. "What do you understand?"

"In their own way, they were honoring her to the best of their ability. They share a single consciousness. What one knows, all of them know. In consuming her, they brought her into their unity. Though she died, she was finally spared from Ra's attention."

Staring back at my queen steadily, Dagny was silent for several moments. "Which only exposed you."

Karmen tipped her head in a slight nod. "I was God's Wife."

Words weren't needed to convey the horrors our queen had endured. The knowledge burned in Dagny's eyes, darkening her eyes to storm-clad gray. "Then you Called your Blood from among the god's own guards and made your escape."

Our queen didn't answer immediately, silently weighing what she saw in the woman's eyes. Trying to decide if she could trust her with the truth. Carefully, I kept my mind still in the bond, refusing to sway her one way or the other.

"Not exactly," she finally replied. "They helped me escape when they realized I was pregnant."

KARMEN

Braced, I watched her eyes, waiting for her reaction. If she was glad or joyous that I'd endured something so vile, then I would never trust her again. Sharing the secret with her was a calculated risk. I needed information. More, I needed to know if I could trust her.

I wasn't prepared for the tears spilling from her eyes. Her fingers clutching mine. "May the miserable bastard burn in the heart of Sól's brightest truth for millennia."

A crack in the door. That's all I intended to give her. But once the door shifted inside of me, I couldn't stem the flow of emotions and words streaming from me.

"I was nearly dead, but Sunzi found the spark inside of me and knew what would happen. We'd both seen other of Ra's offspring devour their mothers from the inside out. If I survived the birth and the baby was a queen, he'd have no more use for me. He would have locked me away, isolated me from anything and everyone until she was born, and then I'd be dead. So Sunzi sent me here to get me out. We had no idea that Shara Isador had come to Heliopolis and would eventually kill him. But so much went wrong from the very beginning."

The words tumbled out of me. I told her about Eivind leaving me, first at the hospital and then with Helayna. My terror when the sundogs tracked me to the Ironheart cabin. Burning from the inside out, I fled the cabin to spare the queen who'd helped me. The chaos of Sepdet's arrival with the other sunfires. How we'd fled to my childhood home on the other side of the portal. My return after taking my Blood and crushing Sepdet in the heart of the supermassive black hole that now spun inside me.

My fear and dread as Ra's unborn heir started to grow within me.

My decision.

"It's gone." My voice trembled, though my tone was harsh and crackled like crushed glass. "I terminated it. I refuse to carry any part of his loathsome legacy."

Dagny squeezed my hand harder, grinding the fine bones of my fingers together. "Good."

A sob tore out of my chest so suddenly and violently it felt like a punch over my heart. I tried to choke it back, but the flood wouldn't be denied. Not this time. Wracking sobs shook me, my face wet with tears, my face twisted with an ugly grimace I didn't have to see. I could feel the twisted muscles of my face, the snarl of my lips as a howl of fury and agony shredded my throat. Sunzi started to pull me up into his arms but Dagny clung to my hand, refusing to let me go. She clutched my hand in both of hers, holding my fist over her heart. "Let it out, my queen. Let the healing begin."

I'd already cried. So many times. I didn't want to spare a single tear because of him ever again.

I would never be able to forget the horrors of Heliopolis, but if I could heal… I wanted to be whole again. I wanted to live. I wanted to be able to smile and laugh and feel good and safe for once in my life.

So I allowed the storm to obliterate me from the inside out. Until my throat was raw, my eyes hot and swollen, but finally, dry. I sagged against Sunzi, his throat against my face. His shirt damp once more from my tears. Slowly, I came back to my awareness of the hotel. The chair where I still sat. Sunzi was on his knees beside me, his arms wrapped around me. Though Dagny still held my hand clasped against her chest.

When I finally managed to open my eyes once more, she smiled and lifted my hand to her lips. "Thank you, Your Majesty."

"For what?" I rasped out.

"For trusting me enough to share your story."

Vlad squatted down on our other side and lifted a glass to my lips. The cold water felt heavenly on my sore throat. Silently, he dabbed a cloth napkin in the glass and gently wiped my eyes, letting the coolness ease the swelling.

"I must ask some indelicate questions," Dagny said gently, drawing my attention back to her. "Only so I can ensure your proper care and health, my queen. Did you bleed when the pregnancy terminated?"

"Yes. I still am, actually."

Her eyes narrowed slightly with concern. "If it goes for much longer than a day or two, please let me know. You may need medical care to ensure your body has rid itself of all the tissue. An Aima queen usually only bleeds when she's breeding, and to be honest, I'd be shocked if any queens still bled with regular menses. They've struggled to reproduce for centuries now."

"Helayna mentioned that queens are born few and far between now. So it wasn't just Ra who struggled to generate an heir. I never bled in Heliopolis, but he managed to impregnate me anyway."

Dagny's chin lowered slightly, her eyes flashing in the candlelight. She might only be a human, but her stance and attitude told me she wasn't afraid to fight. "An abomination against the Mother Herself."

"There are doctors who are knowledgeable about our queen's physiology?" Sunzi asked as he stood, returning to his guarding position at my back.

Dagny nodded. "I haven't met her personally, but Dr. Mala Borcht is known as an Aima-friendly human doctor. The new Isador queen is a patient of hers."

Hesitation flickered through me. The one time I met Shara, she seemed trustworthy, and she'd certainly taken a stand to help save Helayna's nest. But that didn't mean I wanted her to know my personal business. "I'll consider it."

"It's entirely your choice, my queen," Dagny replied. "Though a doctor may be able to provide certainty for your peace of mind, especially if you wish to have an heir of your own someday in the future."

An heir of my own. Someday. I would naturally need to take a lover to accomplish the feat.

Which didn't seem as far-fetched now. Especially with my very own Blood who showed me every single moment what it could be like to trust a man enough to try.