Chapter 13

13

Malone

Istare at Aurora, trying to figure out where she’s going with this. She looks…furious. A different kind of anger than she’s brought to scenes in the past, but no less authentic. “Why do you care so much about some woman you’ve never met?”

“Because it’s not right. You move through life, taking what you want and not caring about the consequences. It’s cruel.”

Now, I’m truly confused, but I manage to keep my cold expression in place. “Aurora.”

But she’s not listening. “Just because you’re the most powerful one in the room doesn’t give you the right to stomp on people weaker than you. Doing so doesn’t make you strong. It makes you a monster.”

A monster.

Is that really what she thinks of me? She’s not exactly wrong, but it stings nonetheless. “You seem to think you know a lot about me. Please, do continue to tell me more about myself.”

She opens her mouth and seems to sense the trap before she manages to blunder right into it. I give her a moment to sit in that knowledge and lean in. “I would never dream of policing you about how you interact with your exes and fuck buddies and clients. And you say I’m the cruel one.”

“That’s not fair.” She drops her gaze and clasps her hands in front of her. “This is a two-week assignation.”

“Yes, it is. Which also falls under my point.”

Aurora wrings her fingers in a way that makes me want to grab her hands before she does herself harm. I manage to resist the impulse, but only for a moment. I take her hands and extract them from each other. “Use your words instead of doing this.”

“I hate you.”

“Yes, you keep saying that.” It might even be true. She certainly looks at me with loathing from time to time. I’m more than aware of how a person can hold two feelings simultaneously. It’s complicated and messy, but that’s humanity. “That’s not why you’re doing this to your hands.”

Aurora keeps staring down, as if she can divine meaning from the wood floor beneath our feet. I study her, trying to understand what the hell is going on. She’s never had a problem speaking her mind to this point. I go back over the last few minutes since arriving at the restaurant, how Aurora tensed up, her harsh words… It all started around Genevieve. I blink. “Are you jealous?”

“No, of course not. Don’t be absurd.” The words rush out of her, tumbling over each other. Lying to me.

She’s jealous.

I don’t know why that knowledge shocks me. Aurora is a free spirit in every sense of the word. I’m nearly one hundred percent certain that even if she ends up in a relationship, she’ll remain polyamorous. Trying to confine her to a monogamous relationship would be like trying to box in the wind. Impossible.

I lift her hand and drag my thumb over her knuckles. The same knuckles responsible for the way my jaw still aches. “Is it Genevieve in particular or the thought of sharing that bothers you?”

“None of it bothers me because I’m not jealous. I simply don’t like the way you treat people.”

“Mmhmm.” I tug her toward the low table. Spindle uses cushions instead of chairs, and I urge Aurora down onto one before taking the seat next to her. She’s tense enough to shatter, her long legs curled beneath her. The position makes her dress ride up to truly indecent heights, but I push away the lust that rises in response. There will be plenty of time for that later.

I don’t know why I can’t let it go. This assignation is about fucking, and she’s only mine for another twelve days. But that’s the stumbling block in my head. Temporary or not, she is mine for this duration. I can’t deny the instincts demanding I take care of what’s mine. Even this prickly woman bristling next to me. Especially her.

I prop myself back on my hands and watch her. “I have no problem sharing, but I’m not particularly free with my charms when I’m with someone.”

Aurora very carefully doesn’t look at me. “What are you saying?”

“I may invite someone to scene with us and play with you, but for the duration of this, I won’t be with anyone else.” It’s not a reassurance I’ve ever had to make before. Oh, I’ve dated here and there over the years, but my position of power complicates things to the point where it’s barely worth it. Either people look at me and assume they can use their proximity to me to boost their own power, or if they answer to me in some way, there’s too much power imbalance for a true relationship to thrive. I may be a Domme, but I have no desire to do it all the time.

People don’t worry about these types of negotiations overmuch when it comes to a single scene, but I find myself wanting to reassure Aurora. “Unless you don’t want to be shared.”

She manages a faint smile. “I think you’ve watched me enough to know I really like being shared.”

“Yes.” Against my better judgement, I can’t help wondering what it would look like if she were mine in truth. I’m possessive, but I’m not jealous. A strange distinction, maybe, but an important one. If she wanted to stay on in the Underworld, I’d hardly stand in her way…

What am I thinking?

KeepingAurora?

Absurd. This woman isn’t for keeping, not for me. She doesn’t even like me. I may admire her in a strange sort of way, but she’s more of a handful than I want to take on when I’m already dealing with so much on any given day.

Aurora stares at the table for a few seconds. “You’re the one who organized this contract. If you want to bang your way through Carver City during it, that’s your right.”

But she wouldn’t like it. For someone normally so skilled at hiding her true self, she’s shit at it right now. I resist the urge to take her hands, but only barely. “Like I said, I prefer to take my partners on a singular basis.” It’s how I’ve always been. Group play is one thing, and fun for spice, but I’m not polyamorous. It’s just not how I operate. “I won’t be with anyone else while you’re here.”

She exhales slowly. “I really dislike how I feel around you.”

“Are you surprised by that?” This conversation feels strange and almost stilted, but I’m reluctant to move on. Aurora is still off, but I can’t tell if it’s because she doesn’t believe me or for some other reason. I’m not like Ursa, able to use kindness and a soft touch to coax even the most stubborn person into doing whatever she wants. I am a blade, sharp and cold and just as likely to kill as to protect. “Though I didn’t expect you to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

I give her the look that statement deserves. “No lies, Aurora.”

She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. “Look, I don’t get it, either. I’m not normally the jealous type. I really, really resent it when other people get jealous when they’re with me, too, so this feels really hypocritical and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“You know better.” She can’t just drop a line like that and expect me to move on without comment. I idly nudge a knife that was slightly out of place until it lines up perfectly with the spoon beside it. I know she’s dated over the years. Rumors fly in Carver City, especially when one spends time in the Underworld. Which is how I know that, in a fit of jealous rage, Aurora’s last boyfriend tried to barge his way into the club one night when she was working. “One would think that anyone who dates you knows what they’re signing up for.” Not being her exclusive partner.

“One would think.” She keeps her eyes on a spot on the floor. “But unfortunately you were right the other night when you said that the very thing that draws them to me is the thing they can’t deal with once we’re in a relationship. Oliver liked the novelty of having a professional submissive as his girlfriend, until he realized I wasn’t going to take sex off the table with my clients. Hazel said she didn’t care about my job at all, but the longer we dated, the more she demanded to know how she stacked up against the other people I was sleeping with. And Finn…” She sighs. “Well, Finn was a mistake.”

The ache in her voice ignites one in my chest. Aurora is one hell of a prize, yes, but she deserves so much better than to be treated like she has. “You have terrible taste in partners.”

At that, she finally looks at me, her eyes lighting up with anger. “Shall we start throwing stones? Because you haven’t dated anyone seriously since you’ve been a territory leader.”

“We’re not talking about me.” But it feels strange to pull forth an ugly truth from her without answering in kind. “The answer to that is in the statement. I am territory leader. I can’t afford to pick the wrong partner, and after spending twenty years solidifying my base and building up a foundation for the people here, it’s easier to just…not date. I get my needs met in other ways.” In the Underworld, mostly, though I occasionally do indulge outside the club.

Aurora lifts her chin. “I’ve come to the same conclusion for similar reasons.”

I don’t ask her if it gets lonely. I already know the answer, don’t I? Sex is wonderful, kink is equally wonderful, but there’s a gap there that sometimes I suspect will stay forever. That kind of intimacy that comes with trust and caring like my parents had. I tell myself it’s simply not in the cards for me, but the truth is that some days I wish it was.

We lapse into silence as the door opens and the server appears. He’s a nice-looking Hispanic man with close-cropped hair and, if I’m not mistaken, some artfully subtle eyeliner. “Thank you for joining us tonight. We operate the private rooms a little differently than the open seating. I’ll take your drink orders now, and when I come back, I’ll take your food orders. After that, there’s a button in the center of your table that you can push if you need anything, but otherwise I won’t interrupt you.” He gives us an easy smile. “What can I get you to drink?”

I originally had no intention of pulling a ridiculous move like ordering for Aurora, but I don’t like this uncertain ground we’re standing on. Better to go back to her bratty submissive role than to continue on with this awkward conversation.

I speak before she has a chance to. “We’ll have merlot; the one I usually order. Bring water as well.”

“Of course.” The server leaves as quickly as he arrived.

“I didn’t want wine.”

I almost smile at the prickliness in her voice. There you are. “Yes, you did. You’ll like this blend.”

“It’s incredibly creepy that you think you know so much about me.” She glares. “What? Do you have a file on me somewhere with all my favorite things?”

“No need. I pay attention.” I allow myself to look at her. Gods, Aurora really is magnificent. She’s got a flawless kind of beauty that draws predators and protectors alike, but it’s the core of pure flame that makes my mouth water. “But people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones when it comes to keeping files on potential enemies.”

She holds my gaze, and I like that she doesn’t get flustered in response. “If you were Hades, you’d do the same thing.”

I already do the same thing. The first task I took on when arriving in Carver City was evaluating the territory leaders and the territories themselves for risk and potential. The city is mostly stable at this point, but I still keep an eye on things. No matter what others might think of me, war is only profitable to weapons dealers and leaders with weak holds on their people. I am neither.

I lean forward and enjoy the way her gaze skates down the exposed V of my shirt. “And what does my file say?”

“You’re a good leader.” She says it like it pisses her off. “Your people both aboveboard and below are happy and taken care of. You’re also particularly vicious with your enemies and prone to making examples.”

I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve had to make an example of anyone, but that’s the point. I came into power brutally, but now those measures are the exception rather than the rule. I shrug. “It’s how I was raised.”

“An Amazon.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you stay in Sabine Valley?”

“I wanted to rule.” My tone is off, but I can’t seem to help it. I have never once questioned that my sister would take on the role of leader when our mother stepped down. I never once doubted her ability to lead. Until now. They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, but I can’t see what alternate path would have been better. Should I have staged a coup and destabilized the community generations have fought and worked to bring to power and keep safe? Turned my back on my sister, whom I love?

No. There are no easy answers. I know that, even if I’m having trouble accepting it.

“But you couldn’t lead in Sabine Valley because of your sister, right?” Aurora, savvy as always, narrows her eyes. “I heard the Amazons have had a bit of trouble.”

“A bit of trouble.” I sound bitter. I should keep my thoughts to myself, but the truth is that I can’t speak to any of my people about this. No matter if we’re in Carver City or Sabine Valley, we’re Amazons. We owe allegiance to our queen, flawed though she may be. We aren’t a people who expect blind obedience, but unless I’m willing to wade in and try to fix things, I have no place to talk in a way that might undermine my sister’s power further.

I shouldn’t talk to Aurora about it, either. No matter that she stands outside the hierarchy, she is still Hades’s creature. But… What does Hades care for other empires? He’s a spider in a web of his own making. If he keeps his finger on the pulse of neighboring cities, it’s only to serve the purpose of keeping our city stable.

I’m simply looking for an excuse. I open my mouth, but the server appears before I have a chance to decide if I want to shut down this conversation or indulge in it. Aurora cuts in and orders a salad before I have a chance to order for both of us, and amusement curls through me at her continued pushback. It’s what I want, after all. She delivers in spades. I order and wait for him to leave the room before I turn to her.

Apparently I do want to talk about things.

“My sister underestimated her enemy.” I still don’t understand why. The Paine family created one-third of the power structure that kept Sabine Valley running smoothly. There were conflicts, of course there were conflicts, but that’s what the quarterly feasts were designed to combat. They served that function perfectly when I was still in the city. Had things changed that much in the following decade that the Amazons and Mystics were willing to work together to oust the Paine family? I don’t know. My information is incomplete, and Aisling isn’t talking. “I don’t know what convinced her not to send people to hunt them to the ends of the earth, but they survived the coup eight years ago. During Lammas, the seven sons of our old enemy arrived and demanded to participate in the ritual combat.”

Aurora takes a sip of her wine. “Why not just kill them then and be done with it?”

“It’s forbidden. The laws of feast days are laws, if unwritten. No one can ignore them or they risk complete ruin. Every single person in Sabine Valley will turn against them.”

Aurora’s watching me closely, a strange look on her face. “It sounds like those guys have reason to want their revenge. Like they’re justified.”

“Undoubtedly.” I stare into my wine. “And they’ve earned it through the ritual combat. They took on seven of the best warriors the three leaders had to offer and won. It’s not the revenge that bothers me, it’s the method.”

“That seems rather nitpicky.”

“There are rules, Aurora. You take your revenge with the people responsible. You don’t go after those who had nothing to do with it.” My hand shakes, and I can’t tell if it’s anger or sorrow. I carefully set the glass back on the table. “Two nieces and my baby brother. They are the ones paying the price for my sister’s mistake. That is what I can’t forgive.”

She laughs awkwardly. “It’s really weird to think about you with family. You’re such a lone figure.”

That surprises me enough to look at her. “Did you never stop to think that there’s a purpose to that? When it comes to enemies, I am the only one with a target painted on my chest. No one will look at my people, at my friends, at my distant family, when they only have eyes for me.” I can see from her face that she never considered it, and why would she? I have spent so long being the ice bitch queen, it shouldn’t surprise me when that’s all people see. It’s the sole purpose of that role; though, after all this time, it hardly feels like a role any more. It’s simply me.

But it’s not all of me.

The sheer vulnerability that I just shared with her makes my skin crawl. I take a drink of wine and clear my throat. “That’s enough of that. Pull up your dress. I’m ready for an appetizer.”