12. Grace

Chapter twelve

Grace

“ G racie, take your medicine.”

“Just relax now, let it out, don’t you want us to feel good?”

I struggled, breaking free of the hold on my arms. I buried my light deep into my chest, curling around it protectively. They couldn’t take it, it was mine! The floor was cool against my skin, and I crawled toward the door, my vision blurring as I fought against the drugs and the exhaustion in my bones.

A foot landed on my back, pushing me down and making me cry out. Hands gripped my ankles, tugging me back as I screamed, kicking and twisting.

The scene morphed around me, rippling and fading abruptly, the hands on me disappearing into smoke. Sitting up, I recognized the blue walls, the surfboard propped up in the corner. What’s happening? Is this a trick? Rolling over, I found Jesse laying next to me, smiling at me with his blue piercings flashing .

I woke with a strangled sob, relief flooding my chest as I looked around and saw the familiar green walls of Erik’s bedroom, where I remembered falling asleep. The bed dipped slightly, and the blood froze in my veins. It was déjà vu when I rolled and found Jesse next to me. A sense of calm washed over me, and I nearly burst into tears as I tried to consolidate all of the emotions pulsing through me.

“You did that,” I murmured, tapping my temple. Nodding, his smile never wavered, even as he reached out and wiped a stray tear off my cheek. I shifted closer, tucking myself into his warm frame as he molded himself around me, his hand sliding over my waist to press against my lower back, drawing me flush against him. I had questions, like what time is it? Did I sleep another day away? Is everyone safe? But they stayed inside as I nuzzled my cheek into the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of ocean and pineapples—the smell of the wax he used on his surfboard, apparently. The smallest ember of heat flickered to life in my core, warming my limbs as I pressed into him, my lips grazing over the tattoo under his ear.

A soft grumble escaped Jesse’s chest, and he shifted, rolling onto his back and leaving me bereft of his warmth. I sat up, propping myself up on my elbow and frowning at him. He was watching me sheepishly, a rosy blush blooming over his cheeks, making him look absolutely adorable. “Sorry,” he signed at me. I was confused, my sleep-addled brain trying to catch up, until his hand dropped down to adjust himself in his board shorts.

Oh… humiliation washed over me like a cold shower, and I sat up quickly, moving down to the end of the bed, my legs unsteady as I got to my feet. Jesse scrambled up after me, signing too fast for my poor brain to interpret. “Sorry,” I signed back, retreating away from him as he approached. I was close enough to the bathroom, so I turned and fled inside, closing the door behind me and breathing a shuddering sigh as I backed away from it. Jesse’s footsteps retreated quickly, and I closed my eyes, pressing the heels of my palms against them as I struggled to get a grip on my fucking emotions.

Wren had warned me about this. The pill they’d given me had thrown my hormones out of whack, so I’d feel out of sorts for a week or more at least. But that didn’t explain Jesse’s reaction to me. Had it all been a lie, like Douglas said? They wanted me for what I could do, and they’d used my na?veté to get it? Or was I too broken now, damaged goods? My stomach rolled as hot white rage flooded through me.

I was not damaged.

If they thought that, they could fucking burn, just like Douglas would. I splashed cold water on my face, jumping when a fist pounded on the door. “Kitten, let us in,” Anders’ voice called out. I stiffened and walked to the door, swinging it open and glaring at the two men waiting outside.

“What happened?” Anders asked coolly, and I crossed my arms over my chest, holding myself together.

“I’m so sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Jesse signed quickly, and I groaned because Anders’ eyebrows immediately shot up with interest.

“What did you do, Pretty Boy?” Anders glowered, and Jesse glared right back at him.

“Nothing,” I snapped, feeling more than a little embarrassed right now. “Just drop it, it’s fine. My mistake,” I signed—for Jesse’s benefit—brushing past them both and heading downstairs. I could hear them hot on my heels, and I slid into the kitchen, looking for a place where I could hide from all of these goddamn men .

I headed downstairs, bypassing my old room, since it locked from the outside anyway. I wandered toward the room they called the gym and slipped inside, closing the door behind me. Finally alone, I took a deep, shuddering breath and pressed my palms against my eyes, willing the stupid tears to draw back inside my body.

Unbelievable. I still had the bruises that someone—maybe my own brother—gave to me. The last three weeks of my life were a missing chunk of time. I’ve lost the only thing that made me useful to anyone, but I was crying because a man I barely knew didn’t want to touch me. I let out a strangled laugh, realizing just how insane this all was. Why am I even here? I should’ve stayed with Wren and Sparrow. No idiot men there to send mixed signals and muddle my scrambled brain even further.

I stared at the boxing bag hanging in the corner, imagining it was Douglas, or Bill, or Sergio. Storming up toward it, I cocked my fist and swung with all my might. The chain jangled, but otherwise, the bag didn’t budge. I snarled and swung my fist again and again, my anger swelling as the bag remained stationary, mocking me, proving how powerless I was.

“FUCK!” I screamed, slamming both my hands and shoving the fucking thing as hard as I could, pounding on it with both fists. I hated them, every single one of those monsters who thought they could control my life.

“Baby, stop, please! You’re hurting yourself.” I let out a strangled cry, spinning around to survey the empty room .

“Leave me alone, Levy,” I bit out, rage and hot tears choking my words. Of course, he was here; there was always someone around to witness my pain in this godforsaken house.

“No, not when you’re like this,” he replied, and I glared at the room around me, clenching my fists.

“Stop hiding!” I snapped, a prickle of unease running up my spine.

“Make me,” he murmured back, definitely from the left of me. I lunged to the side, swinging out my fist and connecting with nothing but air. A strangled snarl curled off my tongue, frustration fuelling the rage until it was an inferno.

“You need to try harder than that,” he mused, and a strand of my hair shifted like he was tugging on it. I swore and swung out toward him, stumbling forward as my momentum carried me too far into the empty space.

“Fuck you!” I shouted into the room, breathing heavily. Fingers brushed my lower back, sending a jolt of panic straight to my bones. I kicked out my foot and connected with something solid. My victory was rewarded when I heard Levy’s grunt of pain, and I leapt toward it, catching him in the chest and toppling us both to the ground.

“Ha!” I yelled, smacking him in the chest. He faded into view, a bemused smile on his face as I smirked down at him, my chest heaving from the adrenaline coursing through me.

“That was great, baby,” he murmured, his hands running lightly up and down my thighs, staring up at me with his deep blue eyes. There it was again, that little tendril of heat curling around inside my core. I shifted slightly, rocking my hips, and I was rewarded with a soft growl, and I felt Levy stir and thicken underneath me .

“Are you going to kick me out now?” he asked, his voice rough. He was watching me closely, his hands resting on my hips, and I smirked, feeling reckless, needing something. Without a word, I leaned over him, tugging on his shirt, lifting it up and over his shoulders. Levy said nothing, obliging me by raising his arms up. Instead of pulling his shirt off completely, I twisted it up and around, using it to pin his hands together. Levy inhaled sharply, and the blue of his eyes was swallowed up by black as his bound hands fell back to the floor above his head.

“I’m going to touch you,” I told him, sliding back down to his hips. “No moving,” I warned him, dropping my voice to mimic the authoritative way Anders would speak to him. It sounded strange to my ears, my voice pitched lower, almost sultry. I was in control right now, I had all the power. It gave me a boost of confidence, letting me stoke the tiny flickers of desire that were traveling up and down my spine.

“Okay, baby, whatever you need,” he rasped. I tugged his sweatpants down his thighs, followed by his boxers. His cock sprang free, hard and leaking as it bobbed against his stomach. I stood and quickly shed my own panties, kicking them to the side, aware that his eyes never left me. A shiver of trepidation traveled up my spine as I straddled his thighs once more, and I let myself feel the nerves building in my stomach as I stared down at Levy.

“I’m in control,” I said out loud, reminding myself as I watched him. Levy nodded again, his fists clenching as he gripped the shirt wrapped around his wrists.

“You are, baby. You have all the power here,” he murmured, and my core clenched, the embers flaring to life inside me. I wrapped my hand around his length, making him groan as I squeezed softly. The sound sent a bolt of desire straight to my pussy. I brushed my thumb over the bead of precum forming on the tip, smearing it around and watching Levy writhe, eyes closed and his chest heaving with the effort to keep still.

“Eyes on me,” I ordered softly, and dark, lust blown pupils fixed on me once more. I smirked and leaned over, running my tongue up the length of his cock.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, his thighs clenching underneath mine. I continued to tease him, circling my tongue around his tip, licking another bead of pre-cum from his slit, the salty taste bursting across my tongue. I sat up to admire the strain on his face. His lips parted as he panted softly, twitching with every stroke of my fingers, every light squeeze. He made me feel so powerful. I’d brought this giant to the floor; he was putty in my hands even though he could tear me apart if he wanted. I gasped at the wave of pleasure that rolled through me, building in my spine and spreading down like wildfire. I clenched around nothing, the need to take him so strong my knees nearly buckled.

Is this what Anders enjoyed? This heady feeling of complete control over someone who wants you so badly? I could see how it could become addictive. My confidence was slowly overcoming my trepidation, letting my body relax and falling into something that felt very… right.

Raising up on shaking legs, I shifted my hips so I could drag the tip of Levy’s cock through the wet heat between my thighs, letting him feel what he was doing to me. The moan that escaped him was nearly feral. I used the head of his cock to tease my clit, whimpering as the burning in my core grew hotter, begging for more .

“Baby, I don’t want to hurt you,” Levy rasped, his cock jumping in my hand, and I gave him a rough squeeze, running him up and down my slit. He was huge, and I had been hurt not long ago. I spasmed, feeling so empty I wanted to scream with rage.

“Wren said I tested clean,” I murmured, looking down at Levy, watching him carefully. The last thing I would do after what happened to me was coerce him into something he didn’t want. “I want this, do you?” I asked.

“Fuck, yes!” Levy groaned, his hands twisting in his shirt so tightly I feared it might tear.

“How much do you want it?” My voice was husky with desire. I pressed his head against my entrance, not quite sinking down on top of him.

“More than anything! I want you more than I want air in my lungs. I would happily die if my last moments were inside you,” Levy told me, his back arching off the floor even as his hips stayed firmly planted on the ground. The words spilled out, and I wanted to sob with the rush of need that flooded my system. I sank down onto him slowly, feeling my walls stretching as I took the first inch, then the second.

“You’re doing so well, baby, let me stretch you out,” Levy encouraged, my walls clenching around his unfamiliar size. I braced my hands on his chest, my legs shaking as I sank down a little more, gasping at the feeling of fullness invading my senses. The panic wanted in; I could feel it curling its dark tendrils around my lungs, ready to seize the power out of my grasp.

“Stay with me Grace, eyes on me,” he murmured, and I met his deep gaze, blatant unbridled lust on his face. I moaned as I sank down further, my nails digging into his chest, never looking away from his face. I heard a tearing sound and realized he’d ripped the shirt holding his arms together, but still, his arms stayed where I’d put them. I was in control.

My hips finally met his as I sheathed him fully inside me. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe, my pussy spasming around him as I arched my back, every feeling coursing through my bones all at once. Alarm bells were ringing in the back of my mind, reminding me that my body knew intrusion, even if I couldn’t remember it. I was spiraling again, the tendrils grabbing hold of me and freezing my lungs with fear, daring me to scream without air.

“You’re so perfect, baby. Taking me like a goddamn dream. You are strangling my cock so tight, I could come right now without even moving,” Levy’s voice pushed through the panic, soothing over my aches as my walls adjusted to his size.

“You don’t come until I say you do,” I told him sharply, pushing myself back up and rocking my hips, letting the burn of the stretch morph into something so much better. I was burning hot now, every nerve in my body overheating and raw. Grabbing the hem of my shirt, I lifted it off and tossed it aside, my hips rocking in gentle, circular movements as I fucked myself with Levy’s cock.

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby, you take my cock like you were made for it. Use me, baby, make yourself feel good,” Levy rasped, his gravelly voice rolling down every ridge of my spine. Oh, I would use him, alright. Raising up on my knees, I smirked when his hips bucked, chasing after me. I rose until I was nearly separated from him, only to impale myself down, moaning as he hit a spot deep inside that had me seeing stars. So I did it again, and again, letting the pressure inside me build with each brutal thrust.

I detonated with a scream, falling across Levy’s chest as my nails sank into his shoulders. Tears streaked down my face as my whole body trembled with wave after wave of aftershock until I could barely think anymore. Thick, muscular arms wrapped around my back, holding me as I shook. Levy sat up slowly, brushing the hair out of my face as he stroked my back. “I’ve got you, Grace, you’re safe,” he breathed, his knuckles grazing up my spine.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, pressing my face into his neck. He was still inside me, I felt him with every small shift of my body on his lap, and I was sure he was keenly aware of it as well.

“Don’t be sorry,” Levy whispered. “You were perfect using me like your own personal toy. I will always be that for you, whenever you need it,” he murmured, his lips tracing the shell of my ear. I shivered, and his cock thickened inside of me, making me whimper. “We can stop if you’ve had enough,” Levy told me gently, his hands drifting to my waist, moving to lift me off his lap.

“No!” I bit out and nipped his neck lightly, making him hiss. “I - don’t - want - to - stop.” Every word was punctuated by a kiss as I drifted up toward his lips. His response was swallowed by my mouth on his, his chest rumbling with a deep, resonant groan. I was impaled on his length at this angle, and a single shift of his hips had me mewling against his lips, gripping his shoulders so tightly I knew he’d bear the marks.

“Wrap your legs around me, baby,” he murmured, and I held on tightly as he stood, lifting us both off the floor like I weighed nothing to him. I could barely cross my ankles behind him, but that was okay because we weren’t moving far.

My back was pressed up against the cool wall as Levy caged me with his body, the warmth of his chest flush with mine. “Please Levy,” I gasped as he brought our hips together, burying himself in me all over again.

“Tell me what you need, Grace,” he groaned, one hand braced beside my head as the other shifted lower to cup my ass. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Please fuck me, Levy!” I cried out, rocking my hips against him. “I need you to make me forget!” Forget the ghosts of their touch that lingered in my flesh.

That was all he needed to hear. The first thrust had me crying out, my nails digging into his back as I clung to him. His mouth descended on my neck, and I tilted my head to give him better access, my body on fire with every touch of his skin against mine. He set a brutal pace, his grip on my ass holding me captive and forcing me to feel every inch of him against my over-sensitive core.

A tilt of his hips had my clit throbbing every time our bodies joined, and I could feel the pressure starting to crest and overwhelm my senses. “Levy, oh god!” I screamed, throwing my head back.

“Come all over my cock baby, I want you to milk every drop out of me,” he rasped, and I came apart with a scream, going limp in his arms as a wave of euphoria washed over me. I felt him spill into me as his thrusts slowed, and he pressed kisses to the top of my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face against him. Tears smeared against his skin as he lifted me away from the wall, cradling me in his strong arms .

I should let go of him and find my clothes. I was sure he was uncomfortable at this point, I’d seriously overstepped his boundaries. Levy didn’t do the touchy-feely part of sex, he’d made that very clear early on.

So why can’t I let go of him?

My eyes were closed, waiting for the tears to dry up so I could face him with a little bit of dignity, but then I heard the creak of a door opening, and I realized we were moving. Like, a lot. I lifted my head off his shoulders and inhaled sharply as I recognized the main floor. “It’s okay, I’m just taking you upstairs,” he murmured, his thumb rubbing circles on my lower back. Well, if anyone was around, they’d sure get an eyeful since both Levy and I were still naked, and he was very visible. Instead of turning right to go to Erik’s room, he turned left. Levy brought me into his bedroom and through to the bathroom, where the water was already running in the bathtub.

“How?” I frowned and spotted Anders leaning up against the doorframe, his eyes impassive as he stared at us, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as I blushed under his gaze. Levy stepped into the bathtub and lowered down, sinking us both into the steaming water. I sighed as my muscles uncoiled, and Levy helped me to settle comfortably against his chest as he leaned back in the tub. Anders turned the water off and fumbled with the buckle of his splint, ripping it off and tossing it on the floor behind him.

“For fuck's sake…” Levy muttered, but Anders ignored him, wincing as he flexed his fingers and lowered his injured arm to his side.

I tensed when he knelt beside the bathtub, his eyes roving over my body with clinical sharpness. Before I could say anything, Levy spoke up, his hands moving to my stomach to hold me in place. “Anders?” he asked lightly, but his voice held a hint of warning. There had been an arctic chill between them since I got back, and I didn’t know what had caused this rift; I just hoped it wasn’t me.

“I’m going to fix these bruises. I hate them,” he muttered, reaching out for me. Levy’s hand snaked out of the water, catching his wrist as his body tensed underneath me.

“Try again,” Levy warned, and for a moment, they had a silent staring contest with me pinned between them.

“Kitten, would you please let me clean up these marks on your skin? Seeing them reminds me of our failures. It makes me… uncomfortable,” Anders amended, fixing me with a weighted look.

“Will it hurt?” I asked, trying to keep my tone even and calm so the tension in the room wouldn’t escalate any further.

“No,” Anders breathed, and I nodded my assent. Levy let go of his wrist, his hand moving to my stomach, pushing me back against his chest as he sighed underneath me.

Anders leaned over us once more, his hand dipping under the water as he started on the bruises on my side. One by one, he pressed his fingers against each painful stain on my skin, his face a mask of pained concentration. Each patch he worked on warmed slightly under his touch, and I watched as slowly, the color faded until it was no longer perceptible. My eyelids grew heavy, and I relaxed into Levy’s chest, feeling Anders’ fingers move up and across my chest, tracing over my wrists, and up my arms, until they reached my neck.

A hitch in his breath had me blinking my eyes open, and he looked in pain himself as his fingers skimmed across the side of my neck. “What’s wrong?” I asked softly, and he drew back for a moment, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand and taking a shuddered breath.

“The bruising here is deep,” he gritted out, and I frowned. “It means…” He glanced behind me, meeting Levy’s eyes for a moment. “There are proper ways. Safe ways,” he explained, leaning forward again to press his fingers against my neck. “Pressure in certain places will cut off the air, just enough to draw out a euphoric feeling.” I shivered, and Levy’s arms tightened around me in response, his body curling around mine.

“This was attempted murder,” Anders snarled suddenly, and his hand drew away again. He sat back on his heels, running a damp hand through his hair as he breathed deeply, trying to settle himself.

“You didn’t do this,” I reminded him softly, and he scoffed, an errant lock of hair falling into his eyes.

“I might as well have,” he muttered, leaning forward again, his hands moving back to my neck. We lapsed into silence once more as he concentrated, the scowl on his face deepening as his fingers traced down my throat. He was breathing hard by the time he finished, sweat beading on his forehead as he shifted closer, focusing on the bruises along the side of my face.

“You can take a break,” I told him, and he glared at me, his fingers brushing over my jaw. I held my tongue as he continued to work, his breath coming out in sharp bursts, sounding more pained as he moved up along my cheekbone. Once the final section over my temple was completed, he sighed and stood abruptly. I gasped when he promptly staggered backward and hit the door, sinking to the floor as his whole body shook .

“Shit,” Levy muttered, and I detangled myself from his arms and climbed out of the tub, dripping water everywhere as I moved toward Anders.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I asked, kneeling in front of him. His knees were drawn up into his chest, and he was holding the sides of his face, anguish written across his features.

“One hundred and forty-six,” Anders muttered, and I heard Levy rise out of the bathtub behind me. “One hundred and forty-six contusions. Unnecessary pain. That I should have prevented,” he bit out harshly. He slammed his head back against the door, making me jump, and Levy hissed out a sharp breath.

“Anders, it’s not your fault,” I murmured. A soft towel was draped over my shoulders, and I drew it around myself as my skin rapidly cooled off. Where was my stupid, useless power now, when someone actually needed it? Damn my monster of a brother for this.

“We failed you,” he rasped, and my eyebrows shot up into my hairline. Levy put a hand on my shoulder, and I shifted over to make room for him to crouch, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Anders, look at Grace.” His eyes shifted to me, scanning my face. “She’s here, in front of you. Do you see that?” Anders nodded slowly, and I reached out my hand, brushing the tips of my fingers over his knuckles one by one.

“Thank you for this,” I murmured, tracing my fingers over my face and down my neck. “And thank you for coming back for me.” The skin around his eyes softened, some of the tension on his face leaking out as I stroked my finger over his knuckles. Eventually, Levy was able to convince him back into his sling, securing his arm against his chest once more.

“What happened, exactly?” I asked as we coaxed Anders into his bedroom. I was still in a towel, even though I’d dried off a while ago. I helped myself to Anders’ closet while Levy got him propped up on his bed. I’d never seen Anders weakened like this—I hadn’t realized what his abilities took out of him before.

I pulled on a faded green tee shirt and turned to find both of them staring at me. Blushing, I gathered my hair up and smoothed it over my shoulder, slowly approaching the bed and sitting down next to Anders. “How did you get hurt?” I asked, and he glanced down at his secured arm, grimacing slightly.

“I wasn’t quick enough,” he muttered.

“He got shot,” Levy clarified, and my eyes widened in shock. “Back at the warehouse. He shoved you out of the way when they started shooting; it’s how you ended up in that closet.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times, trying to process what Levy was saying. Anders—cold, distant, sometimes downright cruel—took a bullet for me?

“I should have put him down faster, I got sloppy.” Anders grimaced, and before I could stop myself, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his cheek. Anders’ eyes widened in shock, and I pulled back quickly, my cheeks flushing with heat.

“Sorry, I just… thank you,” I mumbled, watching the color rise in his face as he stared at me, looking completely befuddled. Levy chuckled next to us, smoothing a hand over my hair gently.

“Careful baby, you’ll make him short circuit,” he joked, and Anders glared at him .

A knock at the door had us all going silent as Jesse peaked his head inside. “Erik needs to see us, right away,” he signed.

What could possibly have gone wrong now?