31. His Queen Of Ruin

EVANGELINE

Through the airplane window is the familiar deep browns, reds, and golds of the mountains looking like a Maynard Dixon painting – muted but distinct and inexplicably Arizona. There is nothing more beautiful, and yet I can't appreciate it.

Sporadic blue lakes dot the desert landscape, and in the distance, the hazy outline of the Phoenix skyline spreads out like an oasis. I can almost see the heat rising from the steel and concrete.

Home.

Trepidation settles deep in my stomach, almost making me feel sick the closer we get. I could go anywhere, be anyone – change myself like a chameleon, but there are things unfinished, and one of those is my obligations to Mimi. All of this was for her, and I don't regret one thing because she had a good life – ignorant of my sacrifices, and ignorant of the ones my mother didn't make.

Some might not understand my choices, think that she wasn't worth it, but she was the only family I really had. She made me feel safe, enveloped in the familiar scent of her perfume – heavy and floral; a perfume I will never smell again, and with it any sense of family or belonging.

I settle back in my seat, focusing on the book in my hands as I flip the page, nearing the end and knowing that when I do, I will go back to the beginning again. Reading these words has been my salvation for the entire plane ride. Without them, I would be vulnerable to my own thoughts that creep in even now – Darren's wolfish smile, his confession of love crushing me like deep waters and stealing my breath – knowing that I would leave while he said it.

The stewardess appears from the galley just in time before I spiral too far. "Mrs. Walker, we'll be landing soon."

I try my best to smile politely, but inside, my emotions swirl like a cyclone. I close the book, running my finger over the cover before slipping it into my purse.

I tell myself that I made the right decision, that he'll be better off without me. In time, he'll realize it was just a mirage, a temporary oasis.

I can't pretend that I won't be his downfall.

His Queen of Ruin.

Find out what happens next in the exciting final book in the Kingmaker Trilogy, State of Union. Read on for an excerpt of State of Union.