10. Elena

"I'm goingto be out of town for a few days," Cillian says from behind me, his words slightly muffled in my hair.

"Oh?" I ask. He knows I'm feeling like shit right now.

Well, not right now. He made that needy, aching feeling go away, but in general, without my suppressants, I don't feel well. He literally just spanked me for touching his brother, what am I supposed to do without him here? Suffer?

"My friend Declan will be coming by the club; you"re permitted to touch him if you'd like." After a short pause, he sighs dramatically, saying, "Or Finn."

I spin in his arms, and his large hand pushes some of the messy hair out of my face. He didn't fully undress when he climbed into bed, still having his undershirt and boxers on.

"Didn't you just spank my ass for not following the rules? And now you're throwing the rules out the window?"

He grabs my chin lightly, placing a chaste kiss against my lips. "No, the rules are just changing a bit. I have some business I have to go out of town for. If you weren't in this state, I wouldn't be making such an allowance. It's only because I know you're not feeling well. I don't want you to be hurting while I'm gone."

Great. I'm falling for the man who's paying to fuck me.

"This guy, Declan, does he happen to be a drug dealer?" I ask him, and he shakes his head, laughing.

There's no way that his Declan and my odd drug pusher Declan are the same person.

"No, he works for me."

"Icy blue eyes, tattoos, reddish-brown hair?" I ask, and he nods. "He tried to give me suppressants when I couldn't get them at the pharmacy."

"Ah, he's very anti-big pharma," Cillian comments, and I scrunch my eyebrows.

I've had a bodyguard all my life. There's no way this is a coincidence.

"Did you hire him to watch me?"

Cillian shrugs, and I sigh, pulling away from him. I feel like he's keeping things from me, but I suppose that's his right. This isn't a relationship. The thought of that stings, and I'm not sure how I can separate the fact that he's paying me for my time and maybe I don't want him to anymore.

Of course, I'd fall for the first Alpha who showed me attention at this club. I hadn't been keen on finding a relationship before I came here, and now I can't help but want to ask Cillian if he wants something outside of the club.

It's truly pathetic.

"Did you hire Declan to follow me?" I ask him.

"I think you already know the answer, mo stór."

I probably shouldn't feel flattered that he cares enough to pay someone to look out for me. When I look back at my interaction with Declan, things start to slot together. He wanted to help me because he was taking care of his expensive asset.

That kills the mood.

I'm not the boss's girlfriend. I'm the boss's very expensive investment that he doesn't want to share. Yet he's saying that I can touch Declan and Finn in his absence. I have absolutely zero interest in round two with Finn. At least, I think so anyway. He might be rude, but he knows how to use his fingers.

Cillian's fingers stroke down the side of my face and land on my lip before leaning down to kiss me again.

"Why?" I ask the words against his lips, not sure if I want to know the answer or not.

"I take care of the people who mean something to me. I'll still have my phone. You still have my number?" he asks, both of us knowing I haven't found the gall to reach out yet.

I nod my head, and he kisses me on the crown of my head as he gets up and begins putting his suit back on from the night before.

"I'll be back in a few days. If you need anything, Declan will take care of it."

"Have a safe trip."

"Worrying about me already, Elena?" he asks as he buttons up his dress shirt and leans down to give me another kiss. "I'll try not to let it go to my head," he whispers against my lips.

Once he's dressed, he leaves, and I lie there for a long time, wondering how the fuck I got myself into this mess.

Even knowing that Declan works for Cillian, I still don't feel comfortable taking medication from a stranger, no matter how badly I need it.

At least, that's what I tell myself after masturbating in the shower for the second time today.

"Damn, Elena, hot box the shower much?" Jade teases when she enters the bathroom.

"Sorry."

"We've all been there," she dismisses my apology easily with a shrug of her shoulders.

I'm brushing through my wet hair on my side of the vanity when I finally get the courage to ask her a question.

"Have you ever fallen for a client?" I ask.

She laughs and shakes her head. "Hell no. Oh God, your mystery dude?" she asks, and I nod. She sighs and shakes her head again. "The whole point of this place is about choice and having the power. If you like him, go for it. If you want to be independent, get under someone else to get over him," she encourages, letting me know that either option is a valid option to want or go after.

Jade doesn't say anything else, and neither do I, as we dress for the day before she goes back to her room.

Declan or Finn should be at the club tonight. While I want nothing to do with Finn, I could easily see myself flirting and having a good time with the blue-eyed Beta. He has an edge to him that's alluring in a dark way I'm more than familiar with.

It's a little upsetting, but he reminds me of Logan in a way. Not that I really know Declan to compare, but he seems to have that same protective focus that Logan always had when watching over me.

I sigh, thinking about my old bodyguard.

I wonder if he misses me or if he sees my disappearance as a relief, not having to take care of me anymore. With me gone, I'm sure my brother gave him more responsibility. He never crossed a boundary with me, so I know he wasn't interested in me in that way, but I can't deny that I miss him.

I suppose running away is what I'm good at, and I never really took the step towards seeing if there was anything more between us. I always assumed he was all business. I guess I'll never know now.

My stomach aches, and I feel homesick. I miss my big tub at home and the way Lisa would cook me my favorite meals when I was hurting or aching. Then there was always Logan, who was more than willing to hug me or mark me up with his scent when I wasn't feeling well. He might not have had the same feelings as me, but he always made me feel safe.

Cillian has been a great comfort, but even with him, I feel confused. I still feel slightly uncomfortable that he lied about his name. I suppose that his reasoning made sense enough. A lot of the girls at the club use a fake name. At least he came clean before we slept together. To be honest, he looks much more like a Cillian than an Ian.

I'm basically disassociating with what happened with Finn because when I think about it, my stomach hurts. He isn't even remotely kind to me. How could I have let him touch me?

I'm out of my depths here, and maybe it's because my hormones are all over the place, but I just feel lost. I miss home, and I'm starting to have feelings for a client, which I'm not sure how to handle. Is pursuing Cillian outside of the club something I should do? Is that even something he would want?

Or am I just so fucking needy that I'm latching on to the first Alpha who shows me some tenderness?

It would be easier if Cillian just came here, wanting to pay me for sex and leave, but besides that first night, he always chooses to stay after we do something. I mean, we spent the entire night in the Royal Flush Room.

He meant what he said about forgiving me; he didn't bring Finn up again and was nothing but sweet as we lay in bed together. He didn't fully undress, but I felt closer to him than I have with anyone else. It's the intimacy I've been lacking by circumventing my heats and being adamantly against being arranged to another pack.

I need my suppressants desperately.

I call the pharmacy, and the lady is a total bitch. "We will call you when it's complete. There's no reason to keep calling us."

With a groan, I get dressed for the day and wonder if I'm truly considering letting the Beta Cillian hired to watch after me outside of the club touch me tonight. Or why Cillian would ever let an employee touch me.

I decide not to question it. I'm not getting paid fifty thousand dollars to think. I put on the strapless red dress that hugs my breasts and waist and do something I've grown overly good at. I dissociate.

Declan is one of the few Betas who is here as a member. He stands out like a sore thumb in his tight black shirt and gray slacks. All the other Alpha males around are wearing thousand dollar suits, but he very well likely got his outfit offline for a reasonable price.

I'm standing with a martini glass in hand when he approaches me.

"Blondie, I see my cover's been blown."

"Let's be honest, I don't think you were very stealthy to begin with. You offered me street drugs and took me to get Thai food."

A wide grin forms on his face, and I realize just how handsome he is. He's got a nicely trimmed beard that matches his auburn hair, but even underneath it, I can tell he has a small dimple when he smiles.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Whiskey neat, please."

"Do you want to gamble? Or we can go upstairs?"

"Upstairs is fine," he says.

I don't feel as feral as I do around Cillian and Finn. When their scent wraps around me, it's like I lose my brain cells. It's nice to just flirt with a man while still feeling like I have control over my actions.

I lead the way up the stairs to the bar and direct him to sit at the table that overlooks the stage.

"Hey, Glade. Can I get a whiskey neat, please?"

The serious Omega gives me a nod and pours the drink before sliding it over to me. I touch her fingers, and build up the courage to ask what I've wanted to do for days.

"Can I stop by and play with Lucy later?" I ask her softly and she cracks a smile. I can't help it, I'm obsessed with cats, and hers is so beautiful and sweet.

"You can play with her whenever, she seems to really love you," Glade replies. I give her a smile before carrying the drink over to where Declan is sitting.

"So, Cillian's your boss?" I ask.

He snorts and tilts his head. "Something like that. I'd call us more business partners. But I suppose in the grand scheme of things, he is higher ranking than me."

"And he sent you to spy on me?"

He barks out a laugh and takes a heavy sip of his drink.

"If you mean to make sure you're safe when you decide to leave this place, then yes. You should know it's not a safe town to be walking around by yourself."

My cheeks heat, and I drink some of my cocktail to take some of the sting away. The music is loud enough for the dancer on stage but not too loud to where you can't have a conversation comfortably.

"Playing things safe all the time can get a little boring, don't you think?" I ask, and he arches an eyebrow at me.

"Aye. But you don't know who might want to snatch up a pretty little Omega like yourself. Las Vegas is one of the hot spots in the US for trafficking."

I swallow and nod, completely ignoring that he called me pretty. "Is anywhere truly safe, though? There will always be people who have nefarious plans looking to prey on the most vulnerable. Why should I have to live my life in spun wool because of the risks that others pose against me?"

"Never claimed it was fair, blondie. You're just important enough to have someone like me to have your back and make sure nothing like that happens."

I don't know how to respond to that, because the feelings I'm having right now are beyond complicated. I have this inner need for Cillian that I can't describe, and yet, while I sit across from this Beta, I just feel like a girl on a normal date. And I like it way more than I'd ever admit to him.

It's what I always wanted. Before my pàpa died, I wanted to go out and date to find the pack that fit my needs based on our interests and chemistry. I'm not sure if I'll ever get that chance now, but somehow this seems like the next best thing.

"So, you said before you work in mitigation. What does that have to do with importing?"

"Don't you hate when your delivery is late? My job is to make sure things are on time, and promises are kept."

"Yet, you have time to make sure I don't get abducted on a simple trip to the pharmacy."

"Ah, see mitigation. Making sure you don't get abducted. Quite good at my job, I'd say."

I smile and shake my head at his antics. Though there are still heavy tones of want and need building up in me without the suppressants, I'm able to tone them down. I don't want my horny Omega needs to get in the way of the fun I'm having right now.

"Do you like working here?" he asks.

"I don't know. I've only been with Cillian since I started, but the girls are nice. It's also nice to feel safe. I mostly just like that everything seems like my choice. For most of my life, almost every choice that should have been mine was made by someone else. Here, I get to choose everything. I don't know how long I want to be here, but it's been eye-opening to see what it's like to have freedom."

He looks away and takes a drink of his whiskey before putting it down. He pulls out his phone and curses.

"I have to go, but I can come back tomorrow."

"I'd like that," I say, and I truly mean it. Declan is good company.

He stands up and kisses the side of my head, which makes me blush embarrassingly hard. He gives me a wicked grin before turning away and strolling out of the club.

As soon as he leaves, my body is hounding me for release. So I leave the club and head to my apartment, where I take my third shower of the day.