18. Lark

Chapter eighteen

Lark

Friday, March 7, 2025

“ A lright, boys,” I huff out, slouching over the side of the couch. “The last box is all sorted, and do you know what that means?” I ask, peering over at where Rex and Tiny are standing by the coffee table, staring at me with a slow blink. “We’re officially home!” I tell them, trying to sound as excited as possible, and my newfound energy has Tiny’s whole body wiggling.

As happy as I am to have this step over with, truthfully, I’m exhausted, and I just want to spend my weekend off in my new apartment, reading a good book and cuddling with Tiny and Rex. This is how I wound up moving all of my belongings into my new apartment on a Friday afternoon… alone.

Everyone that I know who could help me was working. My dad let it be known how annoying that was for him, but he eventually let it go after trying to hire a moving company for me. I know he would pay for it, but I didn’t want him to, and why would I hire movers when I could do it myself?

But it’s all done now.

A smile lights my face as I take in the eight-hundred-square-foot apartment with its dark wooden fixtures and gray walls, now splattered in color from all of my belongings.

Photos of the dogs, my friends, and my dad line the walls with an array of memories, and my colorful boho throw rug brightens the whole place up.

I love it. And it’s all mine .

Unlike when I lived with Tyler. I hadn’t realized it quite to the extent that I do now, but he was so controlling about everything. Always reminded me that the lease was in his name.

Nothing ever looked or felt like my own, and I think a part of me knew that, and it may have factored into why I was always working, covering extra shifts to avoid being there in the first place.

The more I’ve had time away from him to consider the details of our relationship, the more glad I am that we broke up.

He was honestly the freaking worst, and truthfully, if I’d cared more about our relationship, I probably would’ve noticed something was off while he was out cheating on me for two years .

I guess I was just comfortable being uncomfortable since he’s all I’ve ever known. He wasn’t my first kiss, but he was my first for everything else.

This is a good thing—a positive change, and it’ll be a little scary, but I need this chance for self-discovery. I remind myself of this before swinging my legs over the side of the couch and heading out to take the dogs on their first walk around our new complex.

** *

My phone buzzing beside me drags me out of my book. I rest it on my lap and grab for my cell, answering when I see who’s calling.

“Hey there, hot stuff. How’s the new apartment?” Kira asks, her voice projecting over the blow-dryers running in the background.

“Are you still at work?” I ask.

“I just got done here but figured I’d give you a call. I’m gonna get the Bluetooth set up as soon as I get in the car.”

I wait patiently as I listen to the heavy back door of her salon slam shut, followed by her car door. “Alrighty, I’m all set. Tell me about the place!” she says, her voice sounding high-pitched and bubbly.

I tell her all about it for the next couple of minutes, making sure she knows just how excited I am for this new change. I hope to settle the worry I know my three closest friends have been fighting with since finding out about the breakup.

“And what are you going to do as your first show of freedom?”

“What does that even mean?” I ask, my voice breaking into a laugh.

“You just got out of a six-year relationship and moved into your own apartment. You should celebrate. Do something for yourself to commemorate this moment,” she says, and I can hear the way her voice picks up speed with each word. “Your hair is too pretty to dye, and I don’t have the time to get a new tattoo with you, but you should do something for yourself.”.

I think on this for a moment, but my mind is drawing up blanks. “I don’t really think there’s anything I want to do that I couldn’t while I was with Tyler, so I’m not really sure.”

She releases a puff of air, sounding exasperated. “Babe, you haven’t had an orgasm in how long? You should explore that!”

My cheeks turn ruddy as my mind is flooded with the images of Gianni that had brought me to my most recent, albeit self-induced, orgasm. “Kira, are you seriously suggesting I go out and have a bunch of one-night stands?”

“I said orgasms, not sex , but you could totally do that too if you wanted. There’s literally nothing stopping you. Come on, isn’t there something you’ve wanted to do or try that you couldn’t with Tyler? Whatever that is, do it !”

My shoulders tense with the memories of all the times I’d make a suggestion, only to be shot down by Tyler for it being “dirty, disgusting, depraved.” Though now I’ve come to realize that none of those things were true. There’s nothing wrong with exploration as long as everyone involved is consenting, but it comes as no surprise since Tyler was his own version of that triple D. Dishonest. Disloyal. Douchebag.

“I mean, there’s a lot of stuff I wanted to do sexually but couldn’t, but I’m not sure I’m ready to start dating or looking for people to sleep with just yet,” I answer honestly, even though the thought of being intimate with a stranger makes my skin crawl a little.

“Well then, buy a toy or two, and maybe make a list of things you want to try. That way, when you are comfortable, you know what you want.”

“Are you telling me to make a fuck-it list?” I laugh .

“I mean, I wasn’t, but now I am! Fuck yeah, Lark, make a fuck-it list!” she says, her voice growing louder with each excited word. “Come on, let’s think. What kind of stuff would you put on there?”

With almost anyone else, this conversation would be weird, but with Kira, it’s borderline tame.

“Oh, and pull up a notes app on your phone so you can type it out while we talk about this. That way, you won’t forget anything.”

Strangely, I do as she suggests and put her on speaker.

“Alright, I only have one vibrator, and it’s a tiny bullet. It does the job, but it’s not great by any means, so I’d like to get a new one, maybe a few, to see what I like.”

“Perfect. Consider it a belated birthday gift or, no, a breakup gift. I’ll send you a few of my favorites, all new, don’t worry,” she clarifies, chuckling.

“Thanks.” I snort, knowing she isn’t going to let me turn her down, so it’s easier just to accept the gift.

We spend the entirety of her drive writing down a list of all the things I’ve ever wanted to try that Tyler always made me feel bad for even having an interest in. The list includes everything from types of dirty talk and positions to role-play and everything in between.

“Ooh, I have the best idea!” Oh, fucking great. “How about you download that erotic audio app I keep telling you about so you can try out some of these things from the comfort and safety of your own home? It’s good to explore your own body, and if you don’t like any of this stuff by yourself, then you know not to bother trying it with a partner, at least not one you’re super comfortable with.”

“That’s—” I stutter. “Alright, that is sort of a good idea. I know damn well you have a referral code for that app, so go ahead and text it to me,” I tell her.

“That’s my girl,” she says, and I can practically hear the wide grin that I’m sure is spread across her face. “Okay, I just parked, so I’m gonna head in and feed the cats. I’ll order you some fun new toys when I get done!”

“Thank you. I love you. Tell Harry and Percy I love them too!”

“I will! I’ll give them some good belly rubs and an extra treat from you too. Goodnight, and love you!” she tells me before hanging up.

I look down at the long note written on my phone and realize I definitely need to save this to the “my eyes only” section, just in case.

Once I’ve done so, I set my phone down and bury my face back in my book.