Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

L uca

After making a morning coffee, I wander down to the greenhouses. I get all the way there before I remember Jackson won't be coming today. That saddens me. I've been looking forward to seeing him—more than I'm willing to admit.

He's helping at the May Day fete today. I used to enjoy the fete, having a go at some games, and buying sweets. I remember the year Aunt Frances entered one of my drawings in the competitions and it won a prize.

I briefly consider going to the fete. I might get to see Jackson—but he'll be busy and might not want to see me.

In truth, I don't feel up to it. I haven't seen anyone from the village in over five years and although they were always kind, things are different now. I feel like they'll look at me as "the failed artist." I'm not ready for crowds of people—maybe another day. Today I just feel grey, like the sun cannot shine.

Heading back to the house, I wander from room to room. I try to shake myself out of it, but it doesn't work. I lay down on my bed and drift off to sleep.

I wake with a start, blinking for a few minutes to get my bearings, but all I can think of is my dream of a man with chocolate eyes and brown hair. Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach under the bed and draw out my bag. Picking up my sketch pad and pencil, I try to capture what I see when I close my eyes.