Chapter 21

D espite her strong determination not to indulge in dreams, Elizabeth found herself constantly wavering, shifting between moments of peace, hope, and anxiety.

Her deepest and secret wish was to see Mr Darcy, yet in the very next moment, she was plagued by a dreadful pang, imagining him forever with another woman.

“Do you think there is any hope left for us, Aunt?” she asked as they strolled through the evening air at the inn where they had stopped after a long day of travel.

Mrs Gardiner, concealing her own concerns, masked her worry with a front of maternal strength. Deep down, she feared that her beloved Elizabeth might only find suffering in Derbyshire. But she also recognised her niece’s unwavering spirit and knew that nothing would deter her from the path she had chosen.

“You are a resilient woman, Lizzy,” Mrs Gardiner remarked, her voice tinged with admiration, trying hard to hide her concerns. “I must admit, if any of your sisters were in a similar predicament, I would find it impossible to accompany her, but you can overcome any plight.”

Elizabeth smiled gratefully; her aunt’s confidence made her stronger.

“I know, dear aunt. Papa himself encouraged me to undertake this journey…even if he did not know all the circumstances.”

“I am pleased your father gave his blessing. Mr Bennet loves you more than anyone in this world, but he also knows you well.”

“Poor Papa did not imagine the terrible circumstances of our story. He advised me to accept Mr Darcy’s proposal, whatever conditions it may come with, even if it means I am not accepted by his social circle.”

“I am not vastly concerned about such matters, Lizzy. Mrs Barstow, his own aunt, is firmly on your side, and we have been invited by Lady Matlock to stay one of her properties. I doubt his family and friends would cast you aside for a fault that is not yours.”

“Then, my dear aunt, what is it that worries you?”

“My fears come from the belief that a man of Mr Darcy’s honourable character, when faced with such a dilemma, will inevitably choose the path of duty and rectitude,” Mrs Gardiner confided.

“You may be right,” Elizabeth admitted, holding back tears.

“You see, discussing a situation and finding resolutions is a simple task, but living through it is impossibly difficult with all the decisions that one has to make. His own character may lead him to act honourably. That is my fear. Not because he does not love you but because he is a man of integrity.”

“But why did you agree to accompany me? That is still a mystery to me.”

“I do not want to give you false hopes, but I think it is fair to tell you that Lady Matlock penned me a short letter, which arrived shortly before our departure.”

Mrs Gardiner paused to gather the courage to continue.

“Yes,” Elizabeth murmured to show her that she was ready to hear any news.

“She informed me that Mr and Miss Darcy, accompanied by Mrs Barstow, had left for Pemberley. Then she wrote again to say that the servants at her Lambton property were expecting us and that she was certain that our journey to Derbyshire would be pleasant.”

“Oh!” Elizabeth exclaimed, surprised. “A strange message given the circumstances…yet, I do not want to see any hidden meaning in her words.”

“Then look out of the window and forget everything else.”

Elizabeth nodded, summoning the strength to hide her tears. She did not want her uncle to see her inner turmoil. Mr Gardiner, a man of deep principles, would not have made that journey to Derbyshire had he known the full complexity of the situation.

“Sometimes, I find myself wishing I was more like my uncle. Then I would stay at Longbourn, healing from this unrequited love while finding solace in Jane’s happiness.”

“But you are not! ”

“No, I would have likely regretted it for the rest of my life if I had not made this journey. It is what Papa told me. Is it not better to experience some pain than to live a lifetime of regret?”

“Were I in your circumstances, I may not have your courage. I see life from a different perspective. Nevertheless, I am glad to help you in any way I can.”

“Just one more night, and we shall be only a few miles away from Pemberley. May I ask you something?”

“Anything, my dear,” her aunt replied.

“I remember from your description of Pemberley that the road ascends for a while, leading to the top of a hill. Yet, the house itself is still distant, on the opposite side of a valley.”

“Yes, indeed. At that point, the road splits, allowing travellers to proceed either to Pemberley or continue on to Lambton and eventually Matlock. However, that is a less-travelled route that takes a détour through a dense forest, leading to a hilltop. It adds a few extra miles, and in my time, it was not well maintained. The journey winds through the woods until it reaches the summit, but it offers a truly enchanting view.”

Elizabeth’s voice was almost a whisper as she made her request, her eagerness to see his home undeniable. “Could I please ask you to consider taking that route and allowing me a mere glimpse of Pemberley from that hill? It may be the only time I could have the chance to see his house.”

“Let me speak to your uncle, my dear, but I believe he will agree. It is simply a matter of a few additional miles, although, as I recall, the road can be somewhat difficult. But when you arrive on the top of the hill…indeed, it is an enchanting view.”

Elizabeth did not know what her aunt said to Mr Gardiner, yet he accepted the proposition without any undue fuss. It was quite probable that her aunt had painted a vivid picture of the picturesque hills, adorned with lush woodlands and charming little brooks.

They left the inn early, determined to have a light breakfast at the first stop, eager to make the most of their time and reach Lambton by noon. Her aunt was eager to see the place she knew so well and where her father had owned a shop, before journeying to the Matlocks’ property a mere five miles away.

Mr Gardiner was always ready to indulge his wife’s wishes, genuinely delighted to see her happy in the countryside where she had spent her youth before their marriage.

On numerous occasions, Elizabeth had discreetly observed them together. They shared a particular harmony that she seldom witnessed in other couples. In contrast, her parents seemed to have a peculiar relationship, dominated by her mother’s nerves and her father’s biting sarcasm, creating an atmosphere of uncertainty where tears, smiles, outbursts, laughter, or anger could spring forth without warning. Mr Bennet held true appreciation for his wife, but did he have the same depth of affection that Elizabeth had discovered in recent months? Had he ever loved her with such ardour? That was impossible to say, and if they had once loved each other at the outset of their union, their current state did not bode well for a young lady still unwed who dreamt of a happiness that would last a lifetime. Thankfully, her aunt and uncle had restored her faith in marriage; more than a decade later, their closeness and joyfulness still burned bright.

The final ten miles of their journey were enlivened by Mrs Gardiner’s joyous exclamations as she recognised familiar vistas and villages along the way.

“We have entered Pemberley woods,” she finally declared, as if presenting the most important place in the world. Her delight at revisiting this place after over a decade was evident, and silence enveloped the carriage once more.

“A fine gentleman, Mr Darcy,” Mr Gardiner remarked. “If his invitation still stands, perhaps we shall pay a visit to his estate one of these days we spend in Derbyshire. He seemed keenly interested in my business.”

But as he prepared to regale them with the details of his conversation with Mr Darcy, disaster struck. With a deafening thud, the front left wheel collided with an obstacle that suddenly appeared in its path, causing the carriage to lurch dangerously to the side. Elizabeth and the maid were thrown off balance, tumbling onto the bench where her aunt and uncle were seated. The panicked neighs of the horses only added to the commotion inside the carriage. Fortunately, the skilled coachman swiftly brought the horses to a halt, while the footman beside him narrowly avoided falling. They alighted from the carriage, their expressions marked by concern, to inspect the extent of the damage.

It became evident that the collision had wrought severe harm. The front-left wheel lay shattered, its once-elegant wooden spokes and ornate hub now reduced to splintered fragments. It was clear that they could not continue their journey for some time.

“What dreadful luck!” exclaimed Mr Gardiner, his face reflecting dismay as he surveyed the now-listing carriage, propped up precariously on three wheels. However, he swiftly regained his composure, not wishing to frighten the ladies.

“One of the front wheels has been lost!” he declared, assisting the ladies as they descended. Elizabeth appeared unharmed, save for a minor injury to her right hand. She was not scared; in fact, she almost seemed to relish this unexpected interruption.

Mrs Gardiner felt as though she could no longer draw breath. Just seven miles from Lambton, this unfortunate incident threatened to cast a pall over her day.

“Now, my dear, do try to remain calm,” her husband reassured her, his words directed at her, for Elizabeth did not look scared. She had already donned her bonnet, clearly eager for a leisurely stroll. The July day was warm, but the forest offered refuge from the glare of the sun. Furthermore, Elizabeth was well acquainted with woodland walks, having often indulged in them around Longbourn.

“I shall take a brief walk. The repairs may take some time.”

“Stay on the path!” Mrs Gardiner cautioned, devoid of any real concern, knowing that the woods around Lambton were inhabited solely by foxes, deer, and countless squirrels.

Meanwhile, the men began the repairs under Mr Gardiner’s watchful eye, while his wife succumbed to sleep on a blanket, to the sound of the rhythmic pounding of their hammers. As they enjoyed travelling, this was not the first time they had experienced a delay due to repairs, and nobody was genuinely concerned.