13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Zuri

“What about this one?” Zuri asked, holding up a bright pink wrap. She nodded her head at the growing pile of clothes in the corner of the room. “I could match it with this purple belt.”

Jalin shrugged for the fifth time. “It’s nice?”

“But is it nicer than the yellow with the orange belt? Or do you think I should go back to the baby blue with the silver hair ties? The silver really brings out my eyes.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Jalin pointed to the pile. “Zuri, really? You look good in all of them. You could wear a sack and be beautiful. Please pick one so we can go to dinner. I’m starving !”

She ignored his dramatics. “I fed you less than a mark ago, so stop complaining. The announcement said tonight’s dinner is going to be a big deal and to wear our favorite outfits. You know that means what you look the best in.”

“You look good in everything!” Jalin exclaimed.

Zuri leveled a stern look at him. “The sooner you help me pick an outfit, the sooner we leave.”

“Right!” he said. “The baby blue and silver.”

“Perfect,” Zuri said and picked up the yellow and orange belt.

“That’s not what I said,” Jalin objected, crossing his arms with a frown.

“It’s the one you looked at the longest,” Zuri explained. “You only picked the baby blue and silver because it was on the top of the pile.”

Jalin huffed out an exasperated sound. “Then why did you even ask?”

“To torment you for drinking all the sopa,” she explained, making him laugh.

“Fair,” he declared. “Does that mean we’ll be leaving soon?”

“All I have to do is change and style my hair,” she answered. She looked down at the ankle length, light brown wrap he was wearing. While both men and women wore the wrap garments, the men liked the longer ones that reminded Zuri of an Asiatic style of clothing as opposed to the shorter, tighter ones the women tended to wear that resembled dresses. For a simple garment, they were easy to modify and style to your personal tastes.

Some humans had tried to wear pants, but visiting Talins and government officials didn’t like it. Pants were for Talins, wraps were for humans. It wasn’t something anyone cared enough about to fight over.

They chatted like the old friends they were as Zuri changed. She braided her hair, weaving in several strips of orange fabric to match her belt. Finally, she clipped a few charms onto her collar. They jingled together as she moved, making a pleasant sound.

Turning, she held out her arms. “What do you think?”

“Perfect!” Jalin declared. “Now can we go eat?”

Zuri pointed to a nearby display in the corner that showed the time in marks and submarks. “Even if we hurry, it’ll be another half a mark before we eat. Why are you in such a rush?”

“Honestly, I’m so curious about what the Talins are up to that I could explode,” Jalin admitted. “They’ve been running around setting things up and not letting anyone see. I couldn’t even talk Valcinan into telling me anything!”

“Was that why you came home in a bad mood yesterday?” Zuri asked.

“No, I was pissed because I saw Aspin kissing Sarena.”

“Wait, I thought you were interested in Dane,” Zuri said, confused. “You were talking about him a few rotations ago.”

“Of course I want Dane,” Jalin answered. “Who wouldn’t want those dimples! But Sarena was on the short list too.”

Zuri shook her head. “Everyone’s on your short list.”

“You’re just jealous because you’re not on the short list.”

Zuri rolled her eyes. “I’m on the even shorter list of people you haven’t and won’t sleep with. Right next to your two cousins! That makes me way more special.”

“That’s true,” he agreed with a chuckle. Then his eyes went wide. “Oh, you know what we should do?”

Zuri turned her attention back to the mirror. “I’m afraid to ask.”

“Then I’ll just tell you. We should pack some of your moonshine! Even if the Talin’s surprise falls flat, we’ll all still have a good time.”

Considering she’d probably see Kasium, having the ability to self-medicate with alcohol sounded like a great idea. Satisfied with her appearance, she nodded her head to the second room in the cottage. “Help me bottle.”

Kasium

Waking with a start, Kasium rolled off the infirmary bed and got to his feet before he even realized where he was.

Blinking at the dimly lit room, he looked around for his Ident only to find it still hanging off his belt. Unclipping it, he was shocked at the number of messages waiting to be read. None of them were from Zuri, but one from Rossimun caught his eye.

Opening it up, he read it quickly, feeling first shock and then shame. He couldn’t believe it, but he’d been unconscious for an entire rotation! During that time, Rossimun had seen to Ari’s issues and then everyone else.

Never once in the message did she point out his lack of professionalism or question his fitness to practice medicine. Instead she gently suggested he take a break from the infirmary and remain with Zuri for several rotations. Toward the end she wrote: You could both use the company.

What did she mean by that? Hadn’t Jalin moved in with Zuri? Even now, they were probably rutting and bonding. Zuri would be pregnant soon and lost to him forever.

Bazium and Ari.

Hesarium and Rain.

Tarrian and Aubrey.

Norrium and Liz.

Those were only a few of the Talin-human couples hidden within the compound. Couldn’t he and Zuri be added to their ranks?

No! It was too much of a risk.

Still, the thought of it made his scent glands ache.

Leaving the small room, he found the rest of the infirmary quiet and empty. He’d seen several messages about a party at the evening meal. It was about that time. He could be there and see Zuri without having to worry about giving in to his urges. It wasn’t a solution to the desolation working up his spine, but it was better than standing in here doing nothing.

He had the urge to go to her house first and check all her filters and systems. Maybe assuring himself she was breathing clean air and drinking purified water would ease the tightness in his chest.

Yes, that’s what he’d do! Then he’d join the party, see that Zuri was fine, and he’d be able to go back to work.

With a plan in place, he left the infirmary and made his way to the cottage. As he crossed over from the newly laid stone path to the older one near the cottage, he heard laughter. Going still, he watched the front door slide up and Jalin emerged, carrying a box that looked heavy. He was peering over his shoulder and talking.

The moment he cleared the door, Zuri came into sight, her distinct laughter washing over Kasium like a soothing balm.

Until he saw her place a hand on Jalin’s arm, halting the human male’s progress. He couldn’t make out exactly what she said, but she was gesturing back inside.

Had she changed her mind? Was she inviting him to rut her instead of going to the celebration?

No!

He thought he could be calm, collected, and logical—he was wrong!

His higher mind shut down and he became a creature of anger and instinct.

“Get away from her!” he roared, sounding a war rattle and charging up the path.

Both humans jumped and turned to face him. Jalin clutched the box, eyes wide with fear. “Healer Kasium?”

He wasn’t a healer anymore, he was the embodiment of rage. “I will rip you apart!”

“Don’t touch him!” Zuri shouted, jumping in front of Jalin.

Ignoring her warning, Kasium continued to advance. Zuri pulled back her hand and threw the bottle she was holding. It hit him full in the face and broke. Cold liquid splashed down his face, neck, and front. The smell of herbs and alcohol filled his nostrils.

Pain blossomed from where the impact had hit across one of his eyes, but that’s not what stopped him. It was the revelation that Zuri felt so threatened she’d decided to violently defend herself.

What kind of monster had he become?

“I—” he started to speak, to apologize and beg forgiveness, when she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms and legs around his neck and torso.

“You were going to kill Jalin,” she whispered.

“Not kill,” he rushed to assure her.

“Well, you weren’t about to hug him,” she retorted, eyes boring into him. “You were jealous.”

He couldn’t do anything else but admit it in a voice so quiet he was surprised there was even sound. “Yes.”

“I’ll get help!” Jalin yelled, backing away.

“We’re fine,” Zuri said without loosening her hold or looking over at Jalin. Her tone was confident and without fear. “You head to the celebration.”

Kasium had gone perfectly still the moment she’d latched onto him. He was scared to hug her back because he might not let go.

“Zuri, are you sure?” Jalin said. “I’ve never seen Kasium like this. Is there a disease that causes Talins to go feral or something?”

“It’s called stupidity,” Zuri answered. “But after this display, I think we might have had a breakthrough.”

Jalin and Zuri’s short exchange made Kasium want to run away and hide with shame. “I will go.”

“No,” Zuri said. “You’re going to stay and talk to me. Really talk to me.”

“I need to say something, then I’ll go,” Jalin said, edging a little closer while keeping a wary eye on him. “Abuse is not romantic.”

“I would never!” Kasium objected at the same time Zuri spoke up.

“This isn’t abuse,” Zuri assured Jalin. “But if he doesn’t listen, I’ll leave, because life's too short to love someone who won’t love you back.”

“Damn right it is,” Jalin agreed. “We’re talking tomorrow, Zuri. No excuses.”

“I promise,” Zuri agreed. With a last nod, Jalin left.

“Let’s go inside,” Zuri suggested, petting the back of his head.

She wanted to be alone with him. This was good! Eagerly he rushed to the door and through it once it slid open, Jalin a distant concern.

Yes, this was perfect! They would snuggle in her nest, and she wouldn’t leave him because he’d make her feel so safe and comfortable.

“I didn’t leave you,” she whispered, making him realize he’d spoken that thought out loud. “You left me. Talk to me, Kasium. Tell me why you don’t want to be in a relationship with me.”

He went still in the doorway to the bedroom.

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered, feeling broken.

Zuri was quiet for a few submarks. When she spoke, her tone was confused. “You’re going to lose me if you keep pushing me away. I’ve made it clear I want a real relationship with you. What’s going on here?”

He’d spent so much of his life pushing down his feelings and fears that it was hard to give them a voice. It took several tries before he managed three words that had caused so much pain in his life.

“Kasium?”

“Everyone leaves me.” He squeezed the words past his tight throat.

Zuri gave a little gasp and hugged him tight. “Tell me what happened, Kasium. Who left you?”

He tried to speak but couldn’t make a sound. Zuri petted the back of his head. “Take me to the nest. Sit down and hold me for as long as it takes. We can wait until you’re ready to talk.”

Obeying her command, he stepped into the room and onto her nest. Sinking down in the soft fluffy bedding, he crossed his legs and settled her down in his lap.

“We have all night,” she whispered. “And all day and all night again. Take all the time you need.”

Her gentle encouragement helped his throat relax, allowing him to talk.

“I grew up on a colony planet. There were only ten children in my cresh, including my sister. Most creshes are much larger, but our colony was brand new, so the population density was very low. Only a few families at first.”

“Was it good?” Zuri asked. “To grow up with fewer children?”

“Very much so,” he agreed. “The colony expected to grow quickly, so we had twelve caregivers for only ten children. Later I’d realize we were very spoiled with all the attention lavished on us. I was especially close to my sibling. We’d often spend all day side by side for lessons and exercise. Tilanus was exceptionally bright.”

“I’m sure you were both very smart,” Zuri murmured.

“I might be intelligent, but Tilanus is exceptional. She’s currently working at the singularity lab on Saliff. It’s a very prestigious position. My clan is known for producing award-winning scientists.”

“She’s still alive?” Zuri sounded surprised.

He couldn’t understand her confusion. “Very much so. She’s married to a fellow singularity specialist, and they’ve already contracted with a cresh to grow and raise their offspring.”

“Go back to the cresh on—what was the colony name?”

“Victel Colony,” he answered, remembering the colony with its silver-colored soil. The memories were bittersweet. “It didn’t grow as fast as everyone predicted. There was an issue with the soil, it was so fine that once the planet was terraformed, even the slightest wind would cause a dust storm. The terraforming engineers assured everyone that ground plants would grow quickly and stabilize the soil.”

“I bet that didn’t happen,” Zuri said. “Terraforming is tricky. It can go haywire in so many unexpected ways.”

“Yes, you would know. You grew up on an unstable terraformed planet, correct?” he asked.

“Sure did. It was a constant fight against the bog swallowing all our farms and homes,” she answered. “Did your family leave when they realized it wasn’t turning out as expected?”

“Almost everyone left,” Kasium said, trying hard to separate himself from the desolation of those years. “Two by two, all the children in the cresh left with their parents for other colonies. Soon it was only my sister and me. Our parents had been founding members of the colony and were desperate not to lose their investment. In the end they had no choice, they took my sister and left.”

Zuri jerked in his arms as if he’d pinched her. “They took your sister but not you?”

“Yes. They left me behind and paid the last caregiver working at the cresh to find me a place at another cresh on a well-established colony.”

“Wait, back up,” Zuri said, pulling away a little.

Was she rejecting him already? He opened his arms so she could climb away from him.

“You don’t want me to touch you anymore?” he whispered, a desolate rumble coming out of his chest.

“What is that sound?” Zuri asked, placing a hand on his chest, right over his chestbox. “It’s like an Old Earth giant is sobbing underwater!”

“It’s…I…” He couldn’t finish his words, his throat felt too tight again. This time he couldn’t even breathe!

“Oh fuck, it is a type of sobbing, isn’t it?” Zuri asked, throwing her arms around his neck and putting her mouth next to his earhole. “Breathe with me, Kasium. In and out. In and out.”

He emptied his mind and followed her instructions. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her soft body against his. Anything was possible as long as Zuri was close.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked once his breathing had returned to normal. He sounded an affirmative rumble, thankful when she didn’t pull away. She kissed the skin next to his earhole then settled her head against his shoulder.

“Please explain why your parents couldn’t take you with them?”

“This planet, Talarian, is our homeworld. Our place of origin. It’s a sacred planet that could easily become overcrowded, so there are very strict laws about how many people can live here or even visit. There’s about twenty billion Talins in the universe, and only one and a half billion are allowed to live on Talarian.”

“That explains why there’s so many wild and open areas here,” Zuri murmured. “What does population limitation have to do with your story?”

“Everything. When my parents were given the opportunity to move here, they could only get permission for one child. They had to pick between myself and Tilanus. They made the better choice, she's far more intelligent.”

“No, they didn’t,” Zuri argued. “They shouldn’t have taken the position, even if it meant they got to live here. They should’ve kept your little family together.”

“That would’ve only benefited me,” Kasium explained, “and been detrimental to the three of them.”

Zuri cupped his face with her hands.

“What happened to you was traumatic,” she said, then kept speaking when he opened his mouth to argue. “No, don’t try to tell me it wasn’t. You were abandoned by everyone who should’ve loved you the most. Not only your parents, but your sister and the caregivers. No one stayed with you. No one made sure you understood that you still had worth.”

“Every Talin citizen has worth,” Kasium said but stopped talking when Zuri shook her head.

“I’m not talking about worth as a productive working unit. I’m talking about being worthy of love and care. Babies can’t work, but we love them. When one of us lived to an elderly age and couldn’t work, we didn’t abandon them. We cared for them. That’s what a real family and community does.”

“Love is a human thing,” Kasium said.

“Love and scent-bonding are two sides of the same information node,” she argued. “Isn’t that why you keep scent-bonding to us humans? We can’t provide much in the way of material wealth, but we can give you the love and affection you can’t get anywhere else. I love you, Kasium. I have since the moment you first took care of me and everyone else in the medical bay on Falsof Station. You smell like an Old Earth food called coconut to me. Everyone else smelled like something mixed with soap, but not you. You smell purely delicious.”

Her words made blood start gathering in his mating shaft. “I smell good to you?”

“Of course you do!” Zuri answered. “Why do you think I’m always trying to rub my hands on your scent glands?”

“Does that mean there’s hope that you will allow me to reinhabit the cottage with you?”

“Maybe, but we’re not going any further until you agree to give the two of us a real chance. Now that I understand why you’ve kept me at a distance, I can be more patient, but only if you promise to let me in.”

“I think you’re already in,” he answered. “In my head and in my soul.”

“Good,” she whispered, leaning in close. She moved one of her hands to the back of his neck and pressed her lips against one of his scent glands. Pleasure shot down his spine. “Would you like to be inside me?”