18. Kess

18

KESS

I wrapped up this tricksy, beautiful man in my arms, then briefly touched my nose to his before taking his perfect mouth with mine. Just like the night of the party, he melted at my touch.

My body reacted as it always did around Rowdy, but knowing that he needed time helped me to ratchet everything down. I deepened the kiss, supporting him as I bent him back ever so slightly. He returned the kiss with equal passion, opening his mouth to my questing tongue, gripping the back of my shirt as time passed by like a hazy concept.

Finally, I pulled away from him, then chuckled at the bombed-out look in his eyes.

“That good for you?”

“Mmhmm,” he murmured, slowly returning to earth.

I ran my nose through his hair, inhaling his woodsy, sweet scent.

“I can’t promise to know where this will go, but I can promise that I’ll never push for more than you can give. You hold all the cards as far as that goes.”

He thunked his head on my chest. “God. Why does that turn me on so much?”

“What?” I asked, unable to help my Cheshire Cat grin. “Are you saying that me respecting your boundaries makes you horny?”

More thunking. “Fuck you. How’m I supposed to go into the restaurant with a steel rod in my pants?”

“If it makes you feel any better...” I grimaced and looked down at my own situation. “Also, I didn’t lie about this being one of my favorite restaurants, but I mostly chose this spot because it has a private parking garage.”

His eyes widened, and he— lightly —smacked my chest. “I’m not letting you fuck me in a parking garage, Kess. I don’t care how private it is!”

I snort-laughed, and he punched my arm, this time with a bit more oomph. “Stop laughing!”

“Sorry!” I held up my hands in surrender. “I’m laughing because I just said that I would only kiss you. And you’re demi. Why would I try to seduce you in a parking garage?”

A line formed between his brows. “Isn’t that what you’re doing? Like, is this not a seduction?”

I bit off another laugh, not wanting to make him feel bad. There was, however, a sort of naivete in that question that... Huh . An impossible thought flitted through my mind. So impossible, in fact, that I dismissed it outright.

Surely he’s had some experience. Just not as much as I’d originally assumed.

“I’m not trying to seduce you, Rowd. I’m trying to woo you.”

Uncertainty filled his pretty eyes, and it made me want to hold him and never let him go.

“Really?”

My hands went to his face again—because how could they not?—and I kissed him. Then kissed him again because I loved the feel of my mouth on his.

“Yes, really.”

This statement seemed to have shocked him to his core. He could only gape up at me in wonder.

“Why?” he asked, bewildered and breathless.

That one-word question broke my fucking heart. How did he not know how amazing he was?

I gently pulled him back into the circle of my arms, rocking him gently. “Two reasons, Rowd. One, because you deserve it. Two, because you are stunning and mouthy and perfect. Actually three, because you just admitted that I turned you on.”

He glared at me through his thick lashes, sending daggers with those beautifully soulful eyes of his. “Don’t make fun of me.”

I shook my head, dizzy from the feel of him in my arms. “I swear, I’m not.” I waited until I had his full attention. “This afternoon with the kids, you explained that you specifically don’t experience sexual attraction without a deep connection. That when you’ve tried to force it in the past, it was always awful.”

He stuck out his tongue. “ Blech .”

I couldn’t help the snicker that bubbled up. “So, maybe you being turned on is an indicator that you have feelings for me?—”

“That doesn’t mean...I’m not trying to rush you into a relationship. I promise!” he said, eyes impossibly wide.

“I know that, Rowd. And I guess what I’m failing to get across is that if you have feelings for me after knowing me for two years, that must mean you think I’m a good person. And, if I can turn you on, that means you think I’m a good person who might one day be allowed to see your naughty bits and make them very, very happy.”

The red crawling up his neck made my heart go into free fall.

“I want to woo you because you fucking deserve it, Rowdy, not just because you might one day let me see your bits. I genuinely want to see where this can go.”

Rowdy dropped his chin, letting his hair cover his face. He fisted my shirt and returned to thunking his head against my chest.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Rowd?”

“Fuck,” he said with one last thunk.

“Sweet Face, I’m not in any rush. I’ve had plenty of sex, and I enjoy the company of my own hand just fine. I’m not lying when I say that you hold all the cards. If this is too much?—”

Whatever else I was gonna say was smothered as he yanked me down for a kiss. Before I could process it, his tongue was in my mouth and he was plastered against my body, almost like he was trying to become one with it.

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I dove into the kiss, running my hands up and down his back. My fingertips drifted across his waistline in the back and I drew them back up, not wanting a repeat of the disastrous kiss in my bedroom.

We kissed and kissed until we finally had to rip ourselves away from each other for oxygen.

“Touch my ass,” he gasped. “Please fucking touch my ass.”

This man would never not surprise me.

“I’ll do you one better.”

I took his mouth in another deep, searching kiss as I curved my hands around his petite, round cheeks. Then, with very little effort, I lifted him up. His legs immediately went around my waist without so much as a break in the kissing.

Another assumption destroyed: Rowdy hadn’t been lying about the steel rod in his jeans.

I kept my hands on his ass, pulling him to me as we continued to kiss. His erection was trapped between our bodies and he rutted against me. I held him one-handed as I adjusted myself.

While that was much, much better, it left the bottom of his ass teasing across the head of my cock. I cursed the barely-there pressure, not sure if it was a blessing or a malediction. Holding his tiny ass in my hands, I let my fingers settle into the crack, or as much as they could with his Wranglers in the way.

Only when my lungs were burning for oxygen did I pull back from the kiss, then nearly lost my balance when he cursed the separation.

“You doing all right? You okay with where I’m touching you?”

He nipped at my lower lip. “More than okay.”

“Yeah?” I kissed his cheek. “We can bring the temperature down, if you’d like.”

“No,” he said softly, his eyes almost bashful as they met mine. “No one’s ever made me feel this good before.”

Wait till you’re comfortable enough to let me fuck you.

I grimaced at my own horniness. Now’s not the time to be thirsty, Kess.

I lost my next thought when he attacked my mouth. Within seconds, he was humping my abs, grunting and moaning as if he were about to pop off.

“You trying to come for me, baby?” I asked the next time we came up for air.

“Want to,” he huffed out, “Can’t. Need more friction, something.”

I spun us toward the truck, sandwiching him against the driver-side door. He cried out as I adjusted to give him the pressure he needed, and he moved his hips, gasping for relief, completely unaware of our surroundings.

Finally, he let out a frustrated cry and pushed back, sliding out of my hold.

“I’m sorry,” I said, worried that I’d gone too far. “Was that too much?”

He glared up at me, agitated as a freshly bathed cat.

“ No . I get so close and then I get in my head or the angle is wrong or I run out of breath and I feel like my balls are about to fucking explode.”

I scanned the area, then pulled us farther into the shadows.

“Can I fix that for you?” I asked, letting a predatory smile take over my lips. “Nothing too serious. Just a quick hand job to relieve the pressure?”

His eyes darkened at my words, a heady combination of fear and desire.

“I’m following your lead, Rowd,” I reminded him.

With his chest rising and falling rapidly, his fingers went to the button on his Wranglers. He looked down at what he was doing, then quickly unfastened them, as though he’d lose his nerve otherwise. He pushed his jeans down with his underwear until his angry cock, bouncing and dripping with need, sprung free.

Before I could reassure him we didn’t need to rush things, he spit out, “Fuckin’ do it, then.”

Without another word, I spun him so that his back met my front as I faced him toward a dark corner at the edge of his parking spot. Placing one hand over his heart, I sent the other down over the length of him, stroking his velvety shaft. He bucked against me, nearly silent.

I released his cock and held my palm under his mouth.

“Spit.”

He obeyed.

“Again.”

I then slicked his cock aggressively, the schlick-schlick sound echoing around us.

“ Fuckshitfuck ,” he slurred, melting against me. “More, Kess. Please.”

I tightened my grip, working him over, twisting my wrist, thumbing the ridge of his cock head as he fell apart in my arms. He wasn’t the only thing falling apart, though. My theories of what it meant to be demisexual were blown away with every wail and moan spilling from his lips.

He was loud and unrestrained, taffy in my hands. I slipped two fingers into his mouth to quiet him, and that seemed to turn him on even more. He suckled them like they were my cock, twisting his tongue over and between them as he punched his hips forward in time with every twisting stroke.

And that’s when the truth of the matter hit me square inside my chest. This wasn’t just a deep connection. This wasn’t simply trust born of a strong friendship. Everything he said today spoke to revulsion at the thought of casual sex. This was the opposite of revulsion.

Despite our often unserious banter, and the fact that he’d straight up lied to me, Rowdy would never be this turned on and tuned in unless?—

Jesus .

Was Rowdy actually in love with me? And how long had he felt that way?

My mind, unbidden, returned to the long-held hopes and dreams of a family.

Fucking way ahead of yourself there, bud.

I couldn’t help it, though. I cradled him as if he were precious while aggressively pulling every pleasure I could from his body. At the same time, my life was being blown apart and put together again with every sharply drawn inhale.