9. Logan

9

LOGAN

T he skyline of LA is soaked in pink and gold as the morning sun slowly rises over the horizon. I lean against the railing of Sierra's balcony, taking in the breathtaking view. It's beautiful, sure, but it's not home. My heart aches for the wide-open spaces of Montana.

I rub my face, trying to shake off the conflicting emotions fighting inside me. How can I feel so content being with Sierra, yet so out of place in her world? The past few days have been wonderful, but they've also highlighted just how different our lives are.

Back home, I'd be up before dawn, checking on the horses and starting my chores. Here, the day's barely begun and the city's already humming with activity. Cars honk in the distance, and I can hear the faint whir of a helicopter somewhere overhead.

I try to imagine ways we could make this work long-term. The idea of only seeing each other for a few days every few months makes my stomach churn. But I also don't see a practical way that I could leave the ranch for extended periods—and Sierra's career demands so much of her time.

We've managed to stay connected through texts and calls these past few months, but it's not enough. I need to hold her, to see her smile in person, to feel her body against mine, to share our lives day in and day out.

I close my eyes, picturing Sierra on the ranch. She'd be beautiful there, her hair catching the sunlight, her laughter filling the air. But would she be happy? Could she give up all of this—the excitement, the glamour, her hard-earned career—for a quieter life?

I feel Sierra's soft lips press against my back, warming my skin. She wraps her arms around me, a sensation I never want to go a day without.

"Morning, handsome," she murmurs, her voice still thick with sleep.

I turn and pull her close, drinking in the sight of her. Even with tousled hair and sleepy eyes, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

"Morning, gorgeous. Want to watch the sunrise with me?"

She nods, and I settle into one of the plush chairs on the balcony. Sierra curls up in my lap, her head resting on my chest and her curves tucked cozily against me. We sit in comfortable silence, watching as the sky transforms.

My heart pounds as I gather the courage to broach the subject that's been weighing on my mind. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation ahead.

"Sierra," I say, my voice low and serious. "Have you ever thought about moving back home to Eagle Falls?"

She stiffens a little in my arms, and for a moment, I worry I've overstepped. The silence stretches between us, heavy with unspoken words.

Finally, she speaks, her words careful and measured. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. The idea of moving back home, being closer to you and my family…it's tempting."

My heart leaps at her words, but I can sense what she's about to say next.

"But realistically," she continues, "I don't see how I could continue my career if I made a permanent move. I need to be here."

I nod, trying to hide my disappointment. It's what I expected, but hearing it still stings.

Sierra shifts in my lap, looking up at me with those soft brown eyes that always make my heart skip a beat. Her tone is more upbeat as she says, "But we can make this work, even long-distance. We've been doing great so far, haven't we?"

I swallow hard, trying to keep my voice steady. "I understand. I'd never ask you to give up your career. It's a huge part of who you are."

She looks at me with relief, but I'm not finished.

"And I'm willing to do long-distance for now. But I want to build a life with you, Sierra. I want to marry you, and I want to raise a family together. And I don't see how that could work unless we're together in the same place."

Sierra's eyes well up with tears. When she speaks, her voice is almost a whisper. "Do you really mean that? You want to have a family together?"

I nod, looking deep into her eyes. "I mean it with every fiber of my being. I want it all with you, Sierra. The good, the bad, the sleepless nights with crying babies, the family vacations, everything."

A tear escapes down her cheek, and I gently wipe it away with my thumb. Hope beats in my chest as I watch emotions play across her face.

But then Sierra's face falls, and my heart clenches. She looks at me with eyes filled with both longing and sadness.

"The thought of having a marriage and family with you makes my heart feel so full," she says softly. "But it feels like a fantasy."

She pauses, and I can see her steeling herself for what comes next. "I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is, but…would you ever consider moving to LA?"

My stomach sinks. I try to picture myself living here—the constant noise, the crowds, the smog. Waking up to skyscrapers instead of mountains, dealing with traffic instead of herding cattle. It feels wrong, like trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

I take a deep breath, hating the words even as they leave my mouth. "No. I can't see myself living here. I'm sorry."

She nods, disappointment clear on her face, but there's understanding there too. "The big city life isn't for you. I get it, I do."

We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of our impossible situation almost too heavy to bear. The beautiful LA sunrise now feels like it's mocking us, a reminder of the vast difference in our worlds.

Sierra breaks the silence. "What are we going to do, Logan?"

"I don't know," I admit, hating how helpless I feel. "I honestly don't know."

The next day, I return to Eagle Falls with a heavy heart, no closer to figuring out how Sierra and I can build a future together. While it's a relief to be back home, surrounded by the familiar sights and sounds of the ranch, it doesn't feel like enough anymore.

Over the next few days, I throw myself into work. I use the physical labor as an outlet for my frustration, pushing myself harder than ever before. I'm up before dawn, mucking out stalls, repairing fences, and exercising the horses until my muscles scream in protest. I skip meals, work without a moment's rest, and stay out long after the sun has set.

My dad tries to talk to me, concern obvious in his voice, but I brush him off. I can see the worry in his eyes, but I can't bring myself to slow down. The ache in my body is a welcome distraction from the ache in my heart.

By the fourth day, I'm running on fumes. My hands are blistered and raw, my back is in constant pain, and I'm so exhausted I can barely think straight. But still, I push on, as if punishing my body will somehow solve the impossible situation with Sierra.

One night, as I sit down to dinner with my dad, he fixes me with a stern look and says, "Son, you can't go on like this."

I stab at my meatloaf, avoiding his gaze. "I'm fine. Just been busy with the ranch."

He sighs, putting down his fork. "Logan, I've known you your whole life. This isn't just being busy. You're running yourself into the ground."

I clench my jaw, all the emotions I've been trying to bury threatening to surface. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth," he says simply. "Talk to me about Sierra."

At the sound of her name, something inside me breaks. The words tumble out before I can stop them. "I'm so in love with her, Dad. More than I thought possible. But I don't know how to make it work. She's got her life in LA, and I've got the ranch here. It feels like we're being torn apart."

My old man nods, his eyes full of understanding. "Love is never easy, Logan. Especially when you're living in different worlds."

"I want to be with her every day," I say. "But I can't ask her to give up everything she's worked for. And I can't leave the ranch. It feels impossible."

"If it was completely up to you," he asks, "what would you want to happen?"

I laugh bitterly. "What I want is impossible. I want Sierra here, on the ranch with me. But I want her to have her career too. I want her to be happy and fulfilled. I just…I want it all, and I know I can't have it."

"Son," my dad says gently, "I need to ask you something. Are you staying here out of obligation? Because you feel like you have to?"

I shake my head, my voice firm. "No. This is home. It's not about feeling obligated to stay."

"Are you sure about that? Because it seems to me like there might be more to it."

I sigh, shoving a hand through my hair. "All right. Yeah. Maybe there is a sense of obligation too. You and Mom started this place from nothing. You put your whole lives into it. How can I just walk away from that? It feels like…I don't know. Like I'd be letting you down. Letting Mom down."

My dad's eyes soften, and he reaches across the table to grip my shoulder. "Logan, listen to me. Your mother and I didn't build this ranch so you'd feel trapped here. We did it because we loved it, and we wanted to create something beautiful. But that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own happiness for it."

I feel a lump forming in my throat as he continues.

"If you decide to leave, to build a life somewhere else with Sierra, I want you to know that I'll support you completely. I can keep things running here until it feels like time to pass it on to someone else, and then I'll find a good buyer for the property. Someone who'll love it as much as we have. I'm completely fine with that. And I know that if your mother was alive, she would say the same thing."

His words are meant to be comforting, but the thought of a stranger eventually taking over our ranch sends a hard pang through my chest. I can't imagine this place belonging to anyone else.

I nod, grateful for everything my dad has just said. But it still feels like there's no good answer to any of this.

The next day, I drag myself to The Horseshoe, a local bar in Eagle Falls where I'm meeting Gabe. My conversation with my dad is still rattling around in my head, and I'm no closer to figuring out what to do about Sierra. As I push open the heavy wooden door, the familiar smell of beer and peanuts hits me, but even that doesn't lift my spirits.

Gabe is already at our usual table, nursing a beer. As soon as he sees me, his face tightens with concern. "Logan, dude, you look like hell. Everything okay?"

I shake my head as I slump into the seat across from him. "Not really."

Gabe's eyes narrow, and I can see the moment he puts two and two together. "It's Sierra, isn't it? Goddamn it. I knew this would happen. I warned her, you know. I told her not to get your hopes up."

My head snaps up at that, a flare of anger cutting through my exhaustion. "Don't pin this on Sierra. She didn't do anything wrong. We both knew what we were getting into when we started seeing each other again."

Gabe scoffs, but I cut him off before he can say anything else. "I'm serious, man. Cut it out. This isn't her fault. We're both adults, we both made our choices. It's just...complicated."

"Yeah, I'll say." Gabe sighs, still looking frustrated at the situation. But then he shakes his head and looks at me with empathy. "You really do love her, don't you?"

I swallow hard and nod. "More than you know. I love the way her eyes light up when she talks about music. I love how she snorts when she laughs too hard, even though she tries to hide it. I love?—"

Gabe holds up a hand, cutting me off. "All right, all right. I don't need to hear all that mushy stuff. I can tell you really mean it." He takes a long swig of his beer before continuing. "Look, I saw the way you guys were together when she was here. It's obvious you're meant for each other. Is there anything I can do to help you figure this situation out?"

I shake my head. "No. I appreciate it, but this is something Sierra and I need to work out ourselves."

I stare into my beer, watching the bubbles rise to the surface. The weight of the decision I'm about to voice feels heavy in my chest. After a long moment, I look back up at Gabe.

"I think I'm going to leave the ranch," I say, the words feeling strange on my tongue.

Gabe's eyes widen in surprise. "Leave the ranch? Are you serious?"

I nod, my stomach churning. "Yeah. I mean, I have to do something, right? And Sierra can't leave LA, so..."

"But the ranch is your life. You love it there."

"I know," I say, rubbing a hand over my jaw. "But I love Sierra more. I'll adjust to living in LA. I'll figure out how to enjoy life there."

Even as the words leave my mouth, they feel hollow. I try to picture myself in LA, surrounded by concrete and traffic, but the image feels wrong.

Gabe shakes his head, looking unconvinced. "Man, I don't think that's the answer. You'll be miserable in LA."

"Well, what do you suggest, then?" I snap, frustrated.

Gabe holds up his hands. "Hey, I'm not saying I have all the answers. But I know you, Logan. You're not a city guy. You'd wither away in LA, no matter how much you love my sister."

I slump back in my chair, deflated. "I know. Fuck. I know."

Gabe is quiet for a moment, his fingers tapping thoughtfully on the table. Finally, he looks at me with determination in his eyes.

"Look, I don't know what the answer is," he says. "But I'm convinced there is one. We just haven't thought of it yet. Come on, man. Let's figure this out."