34. Lucas

Jase stares at me for a long second, his expression pained to the point where my heart clenches. "I came to say goodbye."

"I thought we already did that the other day." A fierce bubbling in my blood follows my anger-infused words.

Goodbye.

Good-fucking-bye.

"I was wrong…" Jase's gaze drops to his feet. "It was wrong to blow up at you the way I did. I was upset and humiliated… again… and I fucked up when I lashed out at you."

I continue to glare at him, torn between wanting to fling myself into his arms or punch him in his beautifully chiseled and perfectly stubbled jaw.

"That's why I came here." His shoulders slump. "You're an incredible guy and you deserve the best. I'm sorry I let you down." He lifts his blue eyes upward. "I'm sorry I couldn't be that for you the way you have been for me."

"I should have told you the truth about Trevor and his threats when I came to your room back in Tampa." I loosen my scarf and step toward him. "The truth is, I was afraid. You were right. I was thinking about myself because I didn't know what else to do. Those photos and videos he has could destroy my family. And that's more important to me than my career. So I panicked and buried it all so I could lose myself in you for a little while. Being with you brings me a peace I've never felt before. Maybe it's because you've shared parts of you that nobody else has ever seen; maybe it's because I loved you."

"Loved?" Jase asks, his voice tight. "Like, past?"

"Does it matter? Trevor has me by the balls. He's already screwed you over because of your association with me. Christ knows what else he'll do if he finds out I'm sneaking around with you. Besides…" I swallow hard. "You came here to say goodbye. So that sounds pretty final to me."

Jase sweeps a hand through his messy hair. I get a glimpse of the sadness glimmering in his deep-set eyes. My God, I've never laid eyes on a sexier man in my life. And his vulnerability in this minute makes him even more so.

"Rex got me a meeting with Minnesota. He says they want me." He gives a half shrug. "I wanted you to hear it from me, along with everything else."

"So it is final, then." A golf-ball-sized lump sticks in my throat, a deep ache settling into my chest.

Jase inches toward me. "You have to take care of your family. I get it. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for all the shit I caused. It's because of me that you're on that social worker's radar."

"No. It's because of that psycho Trevor. He's the one who flagged me. It's all part of his plan to blackmail me."

Jase raises a tentative arm, his fingertips grazing the front of my coat. "You can't let him do this to you."

"I don't have an alternative. If I want to keep my image clean and out of the tabloids, I need to play nice in the sandbox."

"It's not fair."

I manage a half-hearted smile. "We all make choices, Jase. Some are really good. Some are really bad. And we have to deal with the consequences."

"So you're going to throw away a chance at happiness with someone you care about because you're afraid of backlash?"

My heart leaps in my chest. "I wasn't aware that was even on the table. Remember? You said you came here to say goodbye."

Jase lifts his hand and traces his fingertips over my tight jaw. "It is why I came. But saying that word to you was harder than I ever imagined."

"Why?" I choke out.

Say it, Jase. I need to hear it. I need to know?—

"Because I love you." His lips lift. "I should have told you that back in Tampa, but it scared the hell out of me. I think that's part of the reason why I went apeshit on you. When I thought you'd betrayed me, I felt like someone took a machete to my chest and I realized it was because of how I felt about you. I opened myself to you like I've never done before, and it killed me to think that you didn't care because how could you if you really screwed me over? I figured the ‘I love you' bullshit was just lip service."

"It wasn't. I meant it. I love you, Jase." I take a deep breath to calm my thundering pulse. But he's so close, my body isn't about to relax. "I don't want to lose you; I just don't know?—"

His lips swallow my next words. Hot, hungry, and intense, they devour me with the same kind of desperation making my insides quiver. My heart thrashes, every crack of our teeth, every dip of his tongue deeper into my mouth. We claw at each other in the hallway, our fingers tugging and tangling in each other's hair. He flips me around and backs me against my door, breaking our kiss for only a second to say, "Take me inside."

Hell, fucking, yes.

I'll take you in all the ways.

I fish my keys out of my coat pocket and fumble with them as Jase nips at the side of my neck. "I can't concentrate when you do that."

"I can't help myself." His teeth hook on to my earlobe and my knees buckle just as I manage to get the door open. We tumble into the foyer, spinning around and crashing into walls. I drop the keys on the floor. Jase kicks the door closed and then grabs me by the coat, pulling me close.

Everything in me screams for him to strip me down and fuck me senseless.

But he just stares at me, like he's trying to see something beyond the surface.

"What are you searching for?" I whisper breathlessly.

"Nothing." He smiles. "I'm not searching for anything anymore. I know what I have. And it's exactly what I want."

When he dips his head to kiss me again, my heart damn near explodes. I'm so lost in him that I barely realize it when he peels off my coat and scarf. A rush of heat floods me, singeing me from the ends of my hair to the tips of my toes. We may be the most unlikely couple on the planet, but my God. This connection between us is electric.

I tug at his belt, aching to sink to my knees and take his throbbing cock into my mouth. Somehow, through the fog of erotic bliss, I back him into my room. The door slams shut.

"Wait, where is everyone?" he rasps.

"Out. We're alone. I can take all the time I need with you."

I carefully take off his shirt, which is all he had on underneath his sport jacket even though the wind chill must be below zero outside. I work the fabric around his splint.

"You're insane for not wearing a coat in this weather."

"What can I say? When I think of you, I overheat." He grins. "And I think of you all the fucking time." Without waiting for me to do it, he strips out of his pants and boxer briefs.

"Lie down." I push him onto the mattress and run a hand down the front of his tattooed chest. The scent of his cologne—lemon, mint, and grapefruit—swirls under my nostrils when I dip my head to breathe him in. My tongue traces the thick black lines adorning his chest, his muscles rippling under the path of my lips. I take one of his nipples into my mouth until it peaks, then I move to the other one.

He reaches for my ass, grasping it so hard, the tip of my cock glistens with precum. My mind is woozy with lust. I lower my hips, dragging my cock against his, all thoughts of him fucking my mouth out the window when my mouth crashes onto his. I clench my thighs around him, my chest grating against his, our pulsing, dripping cocks grinding together.

My breath hitches, sparks exploding over my skin. He thrusts against me, dragging my lower lip through his teeth. I bring a hand between us and grip both of our cocks, sliding my hand up and down in the most tormenting way possible. I squeeze, tug, and jerk, my hand slick with our juices.

Jase moans into my mouth and slides his hand between my ass cheeks. He presses two fingers into me and I suck in a sharp gasp at the delicious burning sensation that assaults my hole.

"Fuck, that's good. I need more," I groan.

"Patience, babe. I'm gonna give you everything."

And he does. It isn't long before he pegs my prostate and I cry out.

But before he makes me come, he pulls his hand away.

"That's not everything."

"No," I rasp, my body still shuddering from the orgasm tease. "But that was really mean."

"I promise I'll make it up to you." His eyes glow with pent-up need. "But first, I need to taste you."

"So you can bring me to the edge again and then take it away?" I shake my head, panting my words. "Fuck, no. You're not the only one who gets away with torture. It's my turn to taste you."

"Then wiggle that hot ass around so I can fuck your cock with my mouth at the same time."

He runs his hands over my thighs and then gives my ass a slap when I don't move. "Do it now."

I can't even dwell on the electricity that just zapped me from his spanking. But I fucking need him to do that to me again and again. I lick my lips. Maybe choke me a little, too.

Good Lord, I am so lost over this guy. He can do whatever the hell he wants to me and I'll fall on my knees, ready to take it all.

Not wasting another second, I follow his order and turn, hovering my cock over his lips. I lean forward onto my elbows and tease his slit before sliding my lips to the base of his dick. I tighten my grip on him, sucking hard, stroking the sides of his corded length with my tongue.

My hips rock against his mouth, the head of my cock hitting the back of his throat. He feasts on me like I'm his last meal, and I try so hard to focus on him, to make him feel as good as I do, but tiny ripples of pleasure morph into major waves until he has me dangling over the edge of euphoria again. And then he's back with the finger, pressing into me, stretching me for his perfect cock.

I scream, I yelp, I almost fucking choke on him as the rush crashes over me, kicking me into a sea of bliss so turbulent, I know I'm going to drown in it.

And it's so fucking incredible.

Every cell sizzles, every nerve fires as cum spurts from my cock into Jase's mouth. He keeps pegging me, swallowing every drop, taking everything I have to give, just like he wanted.

When the sharp tremors settle to rippling aftershocks, I manage to fall over him and onto my back, panting.

Jase slowly rolls over and straddles me, his massive cock grazing my twitching one. "Do you have more for me? Because I'm not finished with you yet."

"Are you going to fuck me now?" I reach around him, pressing my hands into the small of his back, forcing him closer to me. My cum glistens on his lips, and when he licks them, it's the fucking hottest thing I've ever seen.

He nods. "You got any lube? I didn't think you'd ever talk to me, so I, ah, didn't bring any supplies."

With a grin, I reach past him and pull open my nightstand drawer. I toss him the bottle and he keeps his eyes glued to mine as he preps my ass and his cock, slathering the lube over both. When he settles against me and thrusts slowly into my ass, I gasp from the immediate scorching pain that I never seem to get used to.

"My God, I fucking love you."

"I fucking love you, too." Then Jase leans forward, capturing my lips with his mouth, kissing me deeply as he fills my ass with his cock. When he bottoms out, he stays still for a minute, buried inside of me. Heat coils through my insides as I begin to rock my hips against him, grinding my cock into his groin.

He picks up the pace, and I fight through the burn to the place where his cock finds my spot. I really hope he's on the brink of coming, too, because I don't have long before another orgasm zaps me. He moves faster, harder, fucking me with long, deep strokes until I see stars again. This time, I think he sees them, too.

White flashes blast behind my eyes, my brain short-circuiting as the orgasm spills from the tip of my cock. Jase trembles against me, his cock throbbing.

"Fuck, that's so good," he mutters. His arms shake, shoulders quaking as his cock moves in and out of me.

"Come for me," I rasp, holding on to him tight. "Give me all of you."

He jerks his hips a few more times, a low moan escaping his lips as the orgasm tears through him. Ropes of cum spurt from the tip of my dick, hitting his chest. He collapses onto his one good arm with a shuddering sigh, his body plastered against mine, our sticky skin coated with sweat and proof of what we'd just done.

I tangle my fingers in his hair, giving him more of a just-fucked look than he normally sports. "Isn't it crazy how much better the sex gets every time we do it?"

"We started out pretty fucking amazing, too," he mumbles. His voice is muffled since his head is buried in the mattress next to me. "Maybe it's because of the love thing. I've never been in love before, and I've never fucked a dude before you, so for me, I think it's probably a little bit of both."

"I've never been in love, either." I run one hand down the slope of his back. I give his ass a quick smack and he barely moves, his body still paralyzed by the all-consuming and all-powerful O.

"Mm. I like that." He shifts against me, twisting his head and peering at me with one eye. "I've been a bad boy. You should definitely punish me."

"As long as you return the favor."

A lazy grin lifts his lips. "So you're a kinky fucker, huh? I'd have never guessed it. You got a set of horns hidden under that halo you wear?"

"There's only one way to find out. And you've got lots of time to investigate."

Jase's grin fades. "Right now, yeah. But pretty soon…"

My heart clenches at his dejected tone. I roll onto my side to face him and cup his chin. "Hey, we're going to figure this out, okay? We can make this work if we both want it."

He nods. "I want it. It took me so long to find you, I'm not gonna let you go."

"Good." I plant a soft kiss on his forehead.

"You know, I talked to my dad about… everything. He flew off the handle after I was outed and showed up at my doorstep right after the news hit."

"Shit, how'd that go?"

He lets out a groan. "How do you think? It was a fucking war zone for a while, at least until I finally told him the truth about Kyle and what I overheard all those years ago. He kinda broke down after that. It was the first time we really communicated beyond the typical meaningless normal everyday bullshit. I feel like I finally got through to him, and I think I understand what he's been dealing with."

"Jase, that's so great to hear. I'm glad you finally talked to him." A sad smile lifts my lips because it hurts like a bitch knowing I'll never get the chance to have another heartfelt conversation with my own parents. "I'm happy for you."

"Me, too." He lays his splinted arm over his chest. "You know, even though I didn't plan to come out, it's a good thing the truth is out there.

Guilt gnaws at my gut. "Full disclosure, it's my fault you were outed. Trevor had me followed back to the hotel that day."

"Then I guess I should be thanking you. If it wasn't for that dickhead, I might have still been buried in the closet. I guess you were right. It's about time for me to be true to myself."

"You should have had the choice, though. It shouldn't have been made for you, and I'm sorry that I led him right to us."

"Hey, stop beating yourself up over this. I didn't get to control the news, but at least I wasn't giving head to some random guy in a club somewhere." He peeks up at me. "I got outed with the guy I fell in love with."

"Who the hell would have guessed us, huh?" I can't keep the smile from spreading across my face because I love that I can finally say us and have it mean something so special.

Just then, my ringer blares from somewhere in the room. Another ringer shatters the air in the foyer. A bunch of bleeping sounds follow. We exchange a confused look. Jase raises himself off the mattress and we both slide off the bed to search for our phones.

Jase runs out of my room and returns a second later with his phone attached to his ear.

"What the hell happened?"

I find my phone on the floor and hit the Accept button to take Greg's call. "Greg, what's going on?"

"You need to turn on the television now, Lucas," he says.

But Jase beats me to it. He fiddles with the remote until the news anchors appear. The phone drops from my ear, and my jaw hits the floor when I see the news headline on the screen.

Jase and I turn toward each other.

"No fucking way," he yells.