25. Jase

Idon't know what the fuck is happening to me right now.

The desire swirling around in my head makes me dizzy, like one wrong move could have me free-falling into the unknown, and I don't have any clue if there'll be anything under me to cushion the plunge.

But somehow, I don't care. I'm willing to take that leap, stroking Lucas's thick cock in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see us.

And he hasn't pushed me away. He just stares at me with those half-hooded green eyes, the ones that flicker with the same lust lighting up my insides like a fucking Roman candle.

"I can't…" he rasps, his lips parting as his head drops back against the doorway. "I can't do this. With you."

That should make my hand stop, but my brain and my body are on two different pages in completely different books. So I keep going, stroking him harder, wishing I had more than one working hand so I could knead his balls with it.

I've never done this before to someone else, but from the look of pure bliss on Lucas's face, I guess I'm doing a pretty good job. He snaps his mouth shut to silence the moan that almost slips through his lips.

But I have another way to keep him quiet.

I crush my lips against his, jutting my tongue into his mouth. He gasps into my mouth, his hands flying up to the sides of my face. Our tongues coil together, hungry and wet, our mouths devouring each other like we can't survive without the connection.

My own cock strains against my jeans, even though less than an hour ago I rubbed one out to a picture of Lucas on my phone.

He's the first guy to make me want to give in to the fantasy… the fantasy that I can be true to myself, have the life I want, and finally experience real happiness.

It's why I'm here right now. It took me a while to realize it, but now that I know, I need to tell him.

And fuck, my cock needs way more than just hearing me talk.

"You're a liar," I mutter against his lips, sliding the lower one slowly through my teeth. "You want me to fuck you. If you didn't, you'd have already made me leave."

Lucas lets out a sharp breath, his eyes flying open. "And you want that?"

"That's why I'm here. I told you I wanted to talk." My lips lift. "Lucas, I wanna fuck you. There, we talked."

He doesn't speak for a long minute, just looks at me like he's trying to dissect every word I just said. Then, before I know it, he's pulling me into his condo, attacking my mouth like a voracious lion. I wind my working arm around him, pressing my fingers into his ripped back. This cast is a fucking pain in the ass, but I won't let it stop me from what's about to happen.

His cock pulses against my leg, practically busting out of his shorts.

Mine fights for the same freedom.

Lucas pauses only to slowly close the door behind us, then his lips are back on mine, hot, intense, and so demanding. It's dark and I can't see, but Lucas guides me toward a doorway. Once we're inside, he closes it. I can only make out shadows in the darkness of the room, but I assume it's a bedroom.

My stomach tightens.

Holy shit, am I really ready for this?

I thought I was when Lucas dropped me off yesterday afternoon, but maybe he knew better. Maybe I really did need to do some soul-searching before I came to the conclusion that I fucking want this guy like I've never wanted anyone else in my life. I want everything that makes him who he is—his neurotic food habits, his compassion, his love for his family, his desire to help others, but most of all, his heart.

Mine has been closed off for as long as I can remember, but it wants to open back up. To him.

I don't deserve him. He's good, and I'm… questionable. But he makes me want to be better.

The best, actually.

Because I want to be like him.

So yeah, I'm ready.

I run a hand down the front of his chest, not missing the rush of air that expels from his mouth. His heart thumps hard against my palm when I rest it over his left pec.

"Who were you thinking about, Lucas?" I ask again, my voice husky. "Was it me?"

I know it was. At least, I'm ninety-nine percent positive it was. But I need to hear it. I have to know I made the right move by coming over here. Christ knows, I don't know much else about my current reality. I'd like to think I didn't fuck up again.

He thinks I'm not ready for what this means. And truthfully, he might be right. But I'm also tired of hiding from my feelings. I need to know if they're real and not just some twisted fantasy.

"Yeah," he croaks. "It was you."

My fingers hook into the waistband of his shorts and slowly slide them down over his ass.

He clamps his fingers around my wrist. "What are we doing?"

"I figured you had an idea when you brought me into your bedroom."

"I have a lot of ideas."

He doesn't waste time with a lot of talk, but I can hear the trepidation in his voice.

I lean close, taking a deep whiff of his cologne and body wash. Fuck, he smells so good, it actually clouds up my brain for a hot second and I forget what I was gonna say.

Capturing his bottom lip between my teeth, I say, "Show me."

He brings a hand to the back of my neck, kneading his fingers, and fuck, it feels so good I almost moan. Then when he grabs a fistful of my hair, my cock jerks, aching to be released from the confines of my jeans.

He presses his lips against mine, attacking me with the kind of desperation I've felt all fucking night. I snake my arm around him, palming his ass as he plunders my mouth. He grinds against me, his cock hard against my jeans. Then he fumbles with my button and pulls it open, shoving my jeans and boxer briefs to my knees. When he grasps my throbbing cock, I think I might just come from the way his hand feels wrapped tight around me.

The tiny stubble along his jawline scratches against my skin, sending shooting flames straight to my groin. I thrust into his hand, gripping his hips.

"My God," I groan. "That feels so fucking good."

I tug at his shorts, sliding them down the rest of the way, and his cock springs to life. I wrap my hand around his thick shaft as he pumps my cock with long, hard strokes.

"I need to taste you," I grunt against his mouth. My pulse hammers, chest so damn tight as I back him toward the bed.

"You want me to stop touching you?" He teases my slit with his thumb, precum dripping from the tip.

"Fuck no." I push him down to the mattress. "But I want to make you feel as good as you've made me feel." I drop to my knees, stroking the top of his taut thighs. I bring my lips to his cock and take his corded length into my mouth.

Running my tongue along the underside, I massage his balls, slowly, tormentingly, while my cast arm sits against my side. I swallow him whole, letting him hit the back of my throat. Thank fuck I've never had a gag reflex because the way he writhes and moans with each suck and tug of his dick makes me rock solid and shuddering with need. I don't want any excuse to stop him from unraveling like this.

I never imagined liking this… going down on a guy. But Lucas responds to me like no other woman I was ever with. He fists my hair, pushing my head down so I bob up and down on his shaft. He thrusts his hips against my mouth, jerking hard when the first drops of precum hit the back of my throat.

It's salty and tangy, different than I expected. But it's him and I fucking love it… love that it's me making him feel this way. And when the trembling morphs into full-fledged writhing, his cock explodes, cum and saliva drizzling out of the corners of my mouth.

"I need you inside of me," he rasps, his body shaking from the aftershocks.

I raise myself up so that I'm hovering over Lucas. Dragging my fingers up the side of his torso, I grin. "Good, ‘cause I want to be inside of you."

His breathing is ragged. "You're pretty good at that for someone who's never done it before."

I shrug. "I've read a lot. Watched a lot of gay porn."

"You're a master of your studies." Lucas's lips curl upward.

"Never heard that before but I'll take it."

Lucas leans over and opens the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed, then tosses a bottle of lube onto the mattress.

"Take off your pants," he whispers.

I use my one hand to shove them to my ankles, kick them off, and swallow hard before crawling on the bed to straddle Lucas.

"Now kiss me."

He doesn't need to say it twice. I quickly grab the bottle, then stare at it for a second. The corner of my lips quirk. "Can I, ah, get some help with this?"

He chuckles, then squeezes some lube onto my fingers. I lean forward to capture his lips. Our teeth crack, his hands in a complete frenzy as they work over my body. My muscles tense and tighten at his demanding touch. I slide against his smooth, sculpted chest, our cocks rubbing together with a delicious friction I've only dreamed about.

I bring my fingers to his tight hole, skimming the outside with the lube before pushing one finger inside of him. I hold my breath as I breach him. His ass clenches around my finger, squeezing it tight, pulling it deeper. He thrusts against my hand. "More."

I add another finger, stretching him as the relieved breath slips from my lips. Fuck, yeah.

I pump my fingers in and out, adding a third one to get him ready. He pulls away for a second, squirts more lube into his own hand and grabs both of our cocks, jerking them together. My balls ache, my head spinning out of control, my heart thrashing in my chest. Suddenly, Lucas drops our cocks and then rolls a condom onto mine. My mind is consumed with such a heavy fog of bliss, I didn't even realize he'd grabbed one.

"Fuck me, Jase." His voice is choked with need.

I push his legs farther apart, hover over him where he lies on the bed, and press into his ass. I let out a primal growl because holy fuck, he's so tight. His muscles clamp down around me, pulling me farther and farther inside of him. I thrust cautiously, not wanting to hurt him, but I really want to ravish the fuck out of him because the sensations coursing through me right now are otherfuckingworldly.

He grasps his leaking dick, sliding his hand up and down as I fuck his ass. My breath hitches, movements picking up speed as his thrusts toward me get harder. I want to have his dick in my hand, to make him come from my hand and my cock, but this damn cast really is a cockblocker.

He lets out a sharp yell as his ass contracts, his muscles clenching tight, and I know I've hit his spot. "Yes, fucking yes. Harder."

My hips jerk, an eruption building deep in my aching balls. White flashes of light blast across my eyes despite the darkness around us. I squeeze my lids shut, swiveling my hips to fuck him with long, hard strokes until the orgasm shatters me. Hot cum spurts from my cock as I spasm against Lucas, my body shuddering from the tremors commanding me. Thick, hot ropes of cum shoot across my chest as Lucas's dick twitches between us.

I collapse on the mattress next to him, using my good arm to cushion my fall. "Goddamn." My breaths are stilted, chest quaking from aftershocks.

Holy shit.

I just fucked a dude.

And I loved it.

Except… what if he wants more than I can give right now?

Is the best thing I've ever done for myself gonna turn out to be the worst mistake I've ever made?