Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Riggs

I left the office right away to head home and clean. I'm in no way messy; I was raised by my ma to keep my space clean, and that hasn't changed over the years. Still, I wanted to make sure my place was tip-top for Clara. Since she'll be staying here most nights, I want her to feel safe and at ease. I'm already nervous she won't like it because it's so secluded. I chose my cabin primarily because it's hidden in the deep woods. I'm not saying I don't like people, but I'd rather they not be in my backyard or bringing me shit every day. If I lived in town, that's how it would be. This way, no one knows where I am.

The cabin gives me everything I need. It's only one bedroom with an open floor plan for the kitchen and living room. While it's small, it suits me and my needs. The boys can run through the woods whenever they want, and there are no neighbors to bother me. I had the choice of living in town in an apartment that would be paid for by the Bears, but I wanted to have my space. Since I don't plan on leaving the organization, I wanted a place to call home.

Though, I don't know that it is.

Yes, I live here. Yes, my things are here and my boys love it here, but I still feel as if it's just walls. I don't know what it is. I've decorated with woodsy decor, even hung up a lot of my memorabilia. Photos of Ma and Da from when I was growing up. Even their urns are on the mantel by photos of Gretzky and Gordie. In all senses of the word, the cabin should be my home. But even after two years, it feels like a place I just sleep in. It doesn't make sense to me, and I try to make myself love being here, but I don't.

And I don't understand it.

I move into the kitchen, collecting things from the fridge to make a little charcuterie board. I throw it together before grabbing a bottle of wine. I've just set out two glasses and opened the wine to let it breathe when I notice Gretzky and Gordie watching me. Their little tails are wagging as their eyes beg for a pepperoni. I glare, and both their ears go back. "Are you supposed to beg?"

Gordie lies down in a submissive way, while Gretzky continues to look up at me with little heart-eyes. I roll my eyes and throw them each a pepperoni. "Rotten dogs." After inhaling the wee piece, Gretzky comes to lay his head against my thigh. I rub his ears, and I look down at him, loving his sweet hazel eyes. I got the boys together—they're brothers from the same litter—but there is something about Gretzky that has my heart. He's a strong boy, smart as a whip, and I feel as if he just knows when I need him to touch me. It's not often, but he's so in tune with me, while Gordie keeps more to himself. Not that I fault him for it. I still love him just as much as I love Gretzky.

My boys.

When Gordie starts to bark, I know Clara is here. I run my hands down my Bears shirt and head toward the door just as the knock comes. At the sound, my heart jumps into my throat. I'm confused by that. Am I nervous? Why would I be nervous? I shake my head free of those thoughts and try to control my breathing as I pull the door open, and my gaze falls on her. If I thought maybe I wouldn't be attracted to her now that I've hired her, I'm nothing but a real fucking fool.

This girl is an angel. A bright smile pulls at her lips, soft dimples appearing on her cheeks as she gazes up at me. Her hair is up in a messy bun with a little yellow ribbon tied into it. Her navy eyes are shining, full of excitement, and her thick, dark lashes make them seem bigger than they are. She wears a tight yellow tank top that hugs her full breasts and shows a bit of skin above her navel. Her belly button is pierced, a little butterfly dangling over her stomach. She's wearing flowy shorts and some Converse, making her look every bit her age.

Which is way too fucking young for me.

But fuck, if I don't want her.

"Clara." I don't even recognize my voice. It's rough, deep, and yeah, this was a very bad idea.

She beams. "Hey, Riggs." Her attention moves to the boys as they wiggle beside me, wanting her to notice them. "Boys! How are you?" she gushes as she holds out her hand for them. They look at me, and all I have to do is nod before they're on her the way I wish I could be. Gretzky kisses her face as Gordie rolls his massive body into her lap. Meanwhile, Darcy does circles around us, barking and growling.

Damn idiot.

It's pure chaos as the dogs wiggle, bark, and try to attack her.

"Enough, boys. Beds."

My boys stop immediately and go to their beds. Darcy trots after them, and then he's sniffing around their space as Clara looks up at me with doe eyes.

I groan inwardly. Fuck me.

"We were just loving on each other," she pouts.

I shake my head. "Which is fine, but it got a bit out of hand."

She shrugs, and I can't help but love the sight of her on her knees. It'd be better if my cock were stuffed in her mouth, her puffy red lips around my girth, tears streaming down those rosy cheeks before I came hard down her throat.

Aye, you're a fuckin' animal.

I swallow hard as she lifts herself from where I'm convinced she belongs and looks up at me. "Well, I love to get out of hand," she says with a wink. "The louder, the better."

"I am well aware," I say under my breath before I wave her in. She hears me, though, her nose wrinkling as she glares at me. "Come on, let me show you around."

It doesn't take me long. The cabin isn't much, and after showing her my room, the bathroom, and then all the dogs' stuff, we're done. She listens intently, not saying a word as she takes notes on her phone, except when she asks questions. It's hard for me to keep focus on what I'm supposed to be telling her when I can't get enough of the way her brows are pulling in. How her lips purse as she's deep in thought. She has a bit of a flush along her neck, her cheeks, where she has a smattering of freckles I hadn't noticed until now. How did I not notice them?

I wonder how many there are?

Before I can start counting like a creeper, we end up in the kitchen, and her eyes light up at the sight of food. "Oh my God, I'm so hungry. Thank you!" She doesn't hesitate, stuffing an olive and some cheese into her mouth. "Are these blue-cheese olives? My favorite!"

"Mine too," I say, grabbing one. "Would you like some wine?"

She covers her mouth, her eyes meeting mine as she chews. "Please."

I pour her half a glass since I don't want to intoxicate her. The wine is only to bring out the flavor of the food, not to get drunk or anything. I pass her a glass, and she takes it eagerly. "This is a nice spread. Did you make it?"

"I did. I enjoy doing so."

"Well, I love meat," she says, taking a piece of salami and popping it into her mouth. I fight back a grin, and her face deepens in color. Then she beams. "That's what she said, huh?"

I can't help but grin at that, and her eyes flash with excitement. "I'm glad you said it and not me. I'm not supposed to fall back into my childish ways."

She waves me off. "Why not. Who says we have to grow up?"

"Society?"

She rolls her eyes. "Fuck society." Her face is still full of color, and her eyes are blazing with mischief. "Honestly, though, I was going to work for you before you showed me around. You don't have to wine and dine me."

She thinks I'm flirting with her? Am I? Fuck me right up the ass. Before I can think much of it, I blurt out, "I didn't intend to wine or dine you. Just wanted to thank you for your time."

Her face visibly drops, and her brows pull in. She's so expressive. Wears her feelings on her sleeve. I bet when she comes, it's a fucking gift to see.

Get your head out of the gutter, Riggs.

I look away, unable to handle her dismay, as I reach for more food. "And you're fine staying here with the boys overnight?"

"Yes, if that's what is best for the boys." Her voice is firm, to the point. Professional. When I look up, she's petting Gordie, and of course, he's looking at her like she's the queen of treats.

I wouldn't mind a treat from her.

Yup, I need her out of my space.

"It is," I bite out, disgusted with myself.

"Great," she says before reaching for Gretzky. "When do you leave?"

"Monday."

"Sounds good. Can you have me a key made? I'll pick up the boys Monday morning along with the key, and we'll stay here for as long as you're gone."

"We fly in Thursday morning."

"Okay, I'll take the boys with me that day and drop them off around six." I nod, hating how matter-of-fact she's being. "Would you want me to grab them on Friday? Maybe get them on a routine since you'll be home?"

I pause for a moment, thinking that through. "Can I bring them to the resort on the way to work?"

"Sure. Just call me, and we'll work it out. If I'm in town, I'll grab them."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Anything else I need to know?"

"No. I think we covered everything. I'll change the sheets for you, so you'll be comfortable. The boys like sleeping in my room, but don't let them in the bed. They have beds."

She blinks. "You want me to sleep in your bed?"

I shrug. "If you want, but the boys will go in there at night. I have another bed I can bring in for Darcy. No dogs in my bed."

Her lips tip up. "Is that, like, a solid rule?"

"Ice solid."

She eyes me. "Ice can melt."

I eye her right on back. "No dogs in the bed, Clara." Her name rolls off my lips in such a way that I wish I were saying it while deep inside her.

I am so fucked.

Her cheeks flush with color as her lips part. Those doe eyes of hers blink twice before she nods. "No dogs in the bed. And thanks. Darcy will love his own bed, but I fully expected to sleep on the couch."

I shake my head. "No need. My bed is available as long as I'm not in it."

She jerks a bit, and I'm unsure why. I thought she'd be thankful to sleep in a bed instead of on the couch. Why is she looking at me like I kicked Darcy and told her dogs are dumb? I swallow past the lump in the throat. I have the need to ask what is wrong, but she doesn't give me a chance.

"Cool. I'll see you Monday morning."

She doesn't even spare me a second glance. She gives the boys kisses as Darcy bounces around. She then calls for Darcy, and she's out the door.

And I'm alone.

The emptiness of my cabin closes in on me.

Gordie lets out a whimper, and I take him by the scruff, petting him softly.

"Same, bud."

But I don't elaborate on what I mean or even voice what I'm feeling.

All I know is that the cabin feels dark without the light Clara just brought into it.