Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Elliot

The weight of the ring on my finger is heavy.

Physically and metaphorically.

It's hard to ignore the weight when I'm being shown off to his family, pride and love in Alex's eyes. If I'm honest with myself, he's never looked at me with anything but love. As much as I want to try to convince myself that this thing between us isn't real, I know it is. He has been consistent the whole time I've known him. I was the one pushing him away, but I can't any longer. I don't want to.

I rub the band of the ring with my thumb as I watch him hug his mom. She whispers something in his ear, kissing him loudly on the cheek. The party is still in full swing, but Alex has practice in the morning and I'm exhausted. And overwhelmed. Still, I plaster a big grin on my face as she takes my hand, bringing me into her arms. I melt into her motherly embrace and sigh deeply.

She kisses my cheek then my temple before gripping my biceps and meeting my gaze. "Did you have fun?"

I smile widely, not faking it. "So much fun. I'm so full."

She beams. "Good." She cups my cheek. "I'll see you at the game, yes? We sit together?"

I nod eagerly. "I'd love that. I have to work, but I can sit with you most of the time."

"I got a box for you guys," Alex says, and his mom beams.

"Great. So, you come and go, and I'll love on you in between, yes?"

Tears burn my eyes. "Yes. I'd love that."

She wraps me in another hug, kissing my cheek. Against my ear, she says, "I know you don't have a mom, so I'll be yours, okay?"

My heart clenches as I blink back my tears. The whole night, she asked me everything and anything she could think of. She fed me, she hugged me, and she showed me off like Alex did. I noticed she did that for Alex's sisters-in-law as well. Gladys Cruz loves hard, openly, and I think I fell in love with her tonight too.

"Thank you," I say on a sigh as she pulls back, cradling my stomach.

She rubs her grandson and then smiles up at me. "You got my number?"

I nod. "I do."

"Good. Send me all the belly pictures, and I'll come stay when he gets here."

Emotion squeezes my throat as I nod. "I can't wait."

She kisses my cheek again and then pats the spot she kissed. "Go on, you're tired."

I throw a wide smile at her as Alex's fingers thread with mine, and he guides me away. I look up at him as he waves back to his mom, and the walls I thought I'd successfully thrown up crack a bit. Once more, I'm rubbing the ring on my finger as he opens the door for me and helps me in. After putting on my seat belt, I hear my phone sound with a text. I open to find it's from Gladys, three pictures of Alex and me dancing. In one, he has his forehead to mine, his hands cradling my stomach as we grin at each other. The next, my back is to his front as he holds me, his mouth nuzzled in my neck as I smile widely. And in the last one, he is sliding the ring down my finger, his eyes locked on mine, and I'm smiling so damn big.

It's evident I am very happy.

He makes me happy.

I send the photos to my sisters as the tears threaten to fall. They text me back, but I ignore them as I look at each picture over and over. Each photo is a wrecking ball to my walls, and it's hard to ignore how fucking blissful I am with Alex. I can't help but feel like a fraud, though. He doesn't know my secret. I haven't even told him I love him. Yet he believes so deeply in us that he put a ring on my finger. A ring I don't want to take off because I don't want to lose him. Not when he looks at me like I'm the only person he has ever wanted in his life.

I love him.

I look up to find that his mom has caught Alex in another hug, and my heart warms at the sight. He kisses her as he disentangles himself from her and then points to me. I wave, and she grins at me as he heads to the car. Once he's in, he starts the car and pulls out before taking my hand in his. We ride in silence as the radio plays the hits, and his thumb plays with the band of the ring he just placed there. I watch his thumb before I look over at him. A smirk sits on those full lips, his beard so neatly trimmed and his lashes dark and thick. He's so fucking gorgeous and all mine.

I want to tell him everything.

I want to trust that he'll love me even once he knows.

I blink back my tears as we ride in comfortable silence. When we get to our room at the hotel, I want to fall into the bed and not move, but I know sleep will elude me. I sit in the little kitchen nook and slip off my shoes to rub my feet. All the dancing and standing I did weren't kind to my feet, but I wouldn't trade tonight for anything.

Alex comes from the bathroom and grabs the chair across from me to sit in front of me. He sets my feet in his lap before rubbing the heel of my left foot. I take him in as he sits before me in a green button-down shirt and fitted khakis that stop at his ankles. His clothes are tight over his shoulders and his thighs, and I'm surprised the chair isn't groaning from his weight. He's big, powerful, and oh-so gorgeous.

"You're too good to me," I tell him, breathless, as I watch him rub my feet.

He smirks. "Gotta make up for time missed."

I shake my head. "You don't."

"I do," he says, meeting my gaze. "And my cock will be in your mouth soon enough for the same reason."

When he winks all sexy and wanton, heat hits me like a puck to the gut. "So, for foot rubs, I gotta give you head?"

He gives me a grin that is both playful and hot. "Not all the time, but after you trapped my cock between those sweet ass cheeks as you danced with me, I need your mouth."

"Sounds good to me," I purr, and his eyes darken as his thumb digs into my arches.

He doesn't look away as he continues to rub his thumb along my feet. "What are you thinking about, mami ? I can see the gears working overtime in your eyes. No one upset you, did they?"

How he reads my body so well makes me breathless. My mouth goes dry as I realize what I am about to admit. I bite my lip and fight back the tears and fears that are begging me to run. To not do this. To not open myself up to him. I lick my lips and look down to where I am absent-mindedly rubbing the ring he just put on my finger. My heart is jackhammering in my chest, but I can't be a fraud anymore. I swallow hard, ignoring my need to run and hide. I owe him this.

"Not at all."

"Then what's going on, mami ?"

"I told you a bit of my past," I start, and his thumb stops, his eyes locking on mine. "That I grew up in a cult." He nods, and my heart jumps into my throat. Shit, I'm doing this. "Well, I never really got into the nitty-gritty of it, but it was pure hell."

"What do you mean?"

Chills run through my body as I look away.

"Elliot, look at me."

I meet his gaze without hesitation, the demand in his voice giving me no choice.

"I want your eyes on me, so you know you're safe and not there anymore."

God, I love him. My bottom lip quivers as my heart cracks open for him. With my eyes on him, I swallow past the lump forming in my throat and exhale. I don't recognize my voice. "My older sisters were abused, badly, to protect Clara and me. We didn't know a lot about what had happened because we were so young, but when we got older, they shared what they went through. They were bitten, raped, and beaten to a pulp, all because they wouldn't let anyone touch me or Clara. They protected us, sheltered us from the mayhem that was our lives."

Alex's thumb pauses as his eyes burn into mine. "I knew I loved your sisters."

I surprise myself when I smile. I lick my lips and nod. "Austen was the first to leave, then Eliza, because they couldn't do it any longer. They were being forced into marriages—which wasn't a marriage, but really a guy owning you."

His eyes darken. "The fuck?"

"We weren't people. We were things to be owned."

Something flashes in his eyes, and then he leans in toward me. "You know when I said I owned you, I didn't mean it like that, right? You are your own person, but you're?—"

"Alex, I know," I say, reaching for his hands and rubbing his knuckles. "You're nothing like them."

"Still, why didn't you tell me or correct me?"

I shrug. "I kinda did, but I was too scared to tell you about this part of me."

"Don't be," he urges. "You're not your past."

I search his eyes for the lie, but it's not there.

"Thank you," I say softly, and his fingers thread with mine. "So, as I said, Austen was the first to get out. She wanted us all to come with her, and Eliza agreed right away. But Clara wasn't eighteen yet. Louisa agreed to stay behind to protect us as long as she could, even while the guy who owned her tried to kill her. Clara and I guaranteed Austen we'd be okay, that we knew how to protect ourselves. And we did, until we couldn't." My eyes drift shut as my past hits me full force. "There was this thing called the Halo, where we'd stand as the men would circle us and look us over to decide whether they wanted us. I was known for swinging first and not asking for forgiveness, so no one really wanted me, but Clara was so sweet and innocent." I open my eyes to meet his angry ones. He looks pained, and that has me struggling for my next breath. "I realized quickly that they knew they couldn't get me, that they were going to ignore me and go after her, try to manipulate her into possibly giving over her body and becoming theirs. I wasn't having it. I refused to let anyone taint my baby sister. I had to protect her like I had been protected."

His fingers squeeze mine. "Clara is lucky to have you, Elliot."

My name on his lips has the tears falling quickly down my cheeks. "Don't say that. You don't know how I protected her. Nobody knows."

"It doesn't matter. You did what you had to, and I applaud that."

"Alex," I say softly as my heart slams into my ribs. "I gave them my body. I let multiple men touch me, fuck me, and use me to keep Clara safe. I hid her and fucked any guy who looked for her. I whored myself out to protect my sister, and I know how disgusting that is—" My words are cut off when he reaches for me, pulling me to him in a firm embrace. His mouth captures mine, the kiss hard, brutal, and almost as if he is trying to make the words I just spoke disappear. He sucks my tongue, running his tongue along all the corners of my mouth before he pulls back, both of us gasping. He cups my face with his hand, his eyes burning into mine as he gazes down at me. He kisses me softly then drops a kiss to the side of my mouth before returning to gaze into my eyes. The air around us is suffocating, and I'm waiting for him to be disgusted. I'm waiting for his eyes to turn hard, to reflect revulsion, but it doesn't happen.

He lifts my hand with his ring on it, and before my next breath, he's sliding it off my finger. My heart shatters in my chest as my tears fall quicker down my cheeks. I'm speechless when he lifts me, placing me on the chair before him as he steps back. His eyes never leave mine as he looks down at me. I knew this was going to happen. I knew he was going to be revolted by me. How could he want a whore? And a lying whore at that.

But then he falls to one knee.

He reaches for my hand, and still, his gaze doesn't leave mine.

I'm downright confused as he rubs my ring finger, his throat working as I try to figure out what the hell is happening.

He clears his throat, yet his voice is so rough as tears gather in his eyes. "I need a redo."

"What?" My voice cracks.

"A redo," he says, his voice breaking. "I didn't do it right before."

"What?" I ask, so fucking confused. "What do you mean?"

A tear slides down his cheek, and it breaks me. There is something about a big, strong man who is confident enough in himself to allow his emotions to flow freely, but it's hard to swoon over him when I'm utterly baffled. Shouldn't he be calling me disgusting? Shouldn't he want to take his ring and run? What the hell is happening?

But he stays before me, on one knee, his eyes fully focused on me. "I need to ask you to marry me again, and I need you to listen to every word I say when I do."