Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Elliot

Me: I can drive.

Alex: Just tell me where you're living. Are you out at Davenport's place?

Me: No. I'll meet you there.

Alex: It's a date. I'm supposed to pick you up.

Me: While I appreciate your gallant effort, I just moved and I'm not settled in my new place. I'll meet you there.

Alex: Tell me where you are. I want to pick you up.

Me: No, because you'll want to "walk me to my door," and then you'll charm your way into my pants.

Alex: Wait, you're wearing pants tonight? You know I'm a heathen when you wear a skirt. Easy access.

Me: Which is why I am not wearing a skirt, you heathen.

Alex: Fine, wear pants, and I'll charm my way into them by your car outside the restaurant, and we'll have round two in the back seat.

Me: I told you, I'm not hooking up with you. This is about clearing the air.

Alex: Sure, there will be talking, but things are clear, Elliot. I want you and miss you. Pretty clear to me.

Me: Nothing has changed. I don't want a relationship.

Alex: I think if you gave me a chance, you'd change your mind. Now, stop throwing up your walls. I'll see you there.

I have no clue what the hell I am doing.

I'm going through every emotion known to humankind, and I'm unsure what is wrong and what is right. One second, I'm excited to spend time with him. I have missed him. He's such a charming bastard, it's hard not to. I enjoy laughing with him, and when his arms capture me, I'm done for. But then, he's going to be pissed that I'm pregnant. That I hid it. That I'm ruining his life. Even if he did want to be in our child's life, I know I can't give him what he wants. I can't let the fact that he's knocked me up cloud the truth—once he knows my past, he won't want me. Who would?

I press my hand to my stomach.

My baby will.

Tears blur my vision at how fully I believe that. I didn't have a good relationship with my mom or even my dad, but my sisters… I would die for them. That's how I feel about this child growing inside me. Do I have any clue what I am doing? Not even one. But I will love the shit out of them. I will give them everything my parents didn't and everything my sisters did. Add in that my sisters will spoil this baby rotten, and I know my child will be happy.

Not knowing how Alex will play into that has scared me for long enough. I have to be honest.

Jesus, I still can't believe that Alex touched his child but had no clue they were there. I want to say that is the reason I agreed to dinner, to come clean. But the truth is, I have missed him. I love his naughty words and his quick grins. I love how he feels against me and how, when he looks at me, it's as if I'm the only one in the room.

When I tell him, though, I'm sure all that will change.

I won't even have to tell him my past. I've fully deceived him and kept something huge from him.

I am the lowest of the low kind of cunt.

A tear falls, but I quickly brush it away when the bathroom door opens and Clara comes out. "I love that bathroom. Coleson has some good taste."

I nod in agreement as she heads back to the closet to start hanging my clothes. I tug at my shirt, turning to the bags on the counter to fill my fridge. I hadn't expected Clara to come over, but she was already unpacking my things when I entered my new place. Like the great sister she is.

I've always adored Coleson and Eliza's space. I love how open it is, with only the bathroom enclosed. I adore how the French doors lead to the balcony that overlooks the whole town and the mountains. I can't wait to sit out there and sip on my tea or even a smoothie from Drippy Drip downstairs. Right now, it is just a shell of a home, but once I put my touches in here and start getting baby things, it will feel like mine. I guess now that I'm not living with Louisa, I can finally hit Buy on my Amazon cart.

Especially since I'll be coming clean by the end of the night.

I swallow hard as I close the fridge and turn just as Clara is closing the closet doors. She eyes me, and, self-consciously, I pull at the large button-up black muslin shirt that I paired with red leggings. The shirt is a bit see-through, showing my black bra, and I did that to drive him feral. My hair is pulled up in a high, perfect bun with little strands of hair falling every which way around my face. I put on makeup, which I know is a bad idea when I'm trying to keep Alex at bay, but I couldn't help myself. I want to look nice for him.

Has he really missed me?

Did he think of me constantly?

Does he truly regret not contacting me?

I assumed when he walked away, he was done. I didn't expect him to regret anything. I had hurt him, I had pushed him away, and I have done nothing but torment myself about it for six months. Jesus, this is complicated.

I don't realize Clara has said anything until she says my name with more force. "Elliot. Earth to El!"

I shake my head then plaster a wide smile on my face. "What's up?"

"You look all gorgeous. Where are you off to?"

I swallow. "I have dinner with a client."

"Nice. A hot client?"

I snort. "He's easy on the eyes."

She beams. "Good. You've been a little sad, so maybe this will cheer you up."

I scrunch up my nose. "I have not."

"Yes," she throws back at me, leaning on the counter to set me with a look. Her navy-blue eyes hold mine as her hair falls along her shoulder. "You've been off. And what is up with this new style? Why all the baggy clothes?"

And here I assumed she'd been too distracted to notice. "Just comfortable," I say with a shrug. "And I'm fine."

"Sure, you are," she deadpans as she leans on her hand. "What's going on?"

I can see myself telling my baby sister the truth as if it's a movie playing in my head. I'd lift my shirt and meet her gaze. Show her the evidence of the child in my belly. I would tell her that Alex is a good man, that he is being supportive, and that I'm not scared. That I'm excited to be a mom. Something I never thought I would be. She'd gush and rub my belly, cooing to her niece or nephew.

But I don't do any of that. Instead, I lie. "Nothing. Just living the dream."

She gives me a look. "A dream or a nightmare?"

"Well, I've only seen Freddy Krueger twice in the last six months, so maybe a bit of both?"

Clara laughs at that, and I force myself to smile as her phone sounds. She pulls it out and then nods. "My next appointment checked in. I'm gonna head out. Do you want me to come back?"

I shrug. "You don't have to. We're done."

She looks around and agrees, "True. You got some sweet digs. I bet your client will enjoy them."

"Hardly," I snort as I shake my head.

"You should. When was the last time you hooked up with someone?" That night in the hotel . But I don't say anything, and she flashes me a knowing look. "It was Alejandro, wasn't it?"

"Alex," I correct, but she shakes her head.

"Nope, he's Alejandro. It's spicier that way."

I grin. "You're such a weirdo. And don't worry about my sex life. Worry for your own. How long has it been?"

She scoffs. "Joke's on you. I slept with one of the dogs' dads the other day."

I roll my eyes. "Clara Drew! Don't mix business with pleasure!"

"As if you are one to talk," she snarks, and she's got me there.

"Slutbag."

"Whore." She beams. "But for real, bring him home. Scratch that itch."

"No one but me is coming home tonight." And that's the damn truth.

As soon as I tell Alex about the baby, he's gonna be so pissed, he won't want anything to do with me.

She rolls her eyes as she comes around the island to hug me. I quickly give her my side, planting a smacking kiss on her cheek to distract her from the fact that I didn't hug her full on. "Love you, sis."

"Love you," I say softly, my guilt riding me hard. I watch as she grabs her purse and walks out. Once she's gone, I lean on the counter and look out around the room. I'll need to tell her and my sisters by the end of the week since Austen will be heading out. Then there is Peepaw…

Fuck me. Maybe I should take this one person at a time.

Or I could do an Instagram post and hide?

Or even wait till the baby comes.

All good options, really…

When my phone sounds on the counter, I glance at it to see it's Alex. I hate the small smile that pulls at my lips. I need to keep my wits around this man, but it's hard when I know with every word he texts me, there is a wide smile behind them.

Alex: Last chance for me to pick you up.

Me: I can drive.

Alex: But wouldn't it be better to ride with me? Because then you can ride me on the way home.

Me: You'll have a hard time making that happen when, one, I'm not riding with you, and two, I have leggings on.

Alex: But see, all you have to do is agree to ride with me, and I'll tear those leggings off in a heartbeat.

I squeeze my thighs together and close my eyes. How is this so easy? Falling right back into flirting relentlessly with him?

I press my lips together and write back.

Me: If you want that, why did you wait until you were back to say it?

Alex: Because I was in Nashville, and you would have ignored me. I know you, Elliot Bea McDavid. As much as you try to make it seem like I don't, I do. And if I'm in your face, you can't deny how badly you want me back.

He's not wrong. It was easy to resist with space between us. Before I can type back, though, another text comes through.

Alex: But I'm back, and I need to make up for lost time.

Alejandro Cruz is a heathen.

A pain in my ass.

And damn if I'm not excited to spend time with him.

Even if it'll be short-lived.