Chapter 40

Eliza

Austen squeezes me close to her side, and warmth spreads throughout me.

Oh, how I miss her.

Even though I’m technically her older sister, she cuddles me like our roles are reversed and I’m the baby sister. I really don’t know where my height went. All my sisters are normal except me, and they treat me like I’m the baby of the group. I don’t mind, though. I squeeze her back, missing the feel of my sister in my arms.

It hasn’t been easy living apart from her since her move to Nashville, though I would never say that. My sister looks the happiest she’s ever been in her life, and I know it’s all Dimitri Titov. He loves my sister hard, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the Russian stallion. He saved her when we didn’t even know she needed saving. We all thought we were healed…ish, but it took Dimitri’s love to complete my sister.

Just as I know Coleson’s love is the missing piece in my life story. God, the way he looked at me when he saw my sign. I plan to frame it for the house, hopefully with a puck from when he scores. I adore him.

I smile just thinking of it as I hug my sister. I’ve never been this happy, this free from all the pains of my past life. Love can be a splendid thing, and of the five McDavid girls, three of us have found it.

Austen’s lips dust my temple. I hate that for the longest time, I’ve carried a bit of guilt when it comes to her. I had figured out that when I was quiet and made myself smaller than I was, the men of our cult would leave me be. But Austen never had that option. She was too young and experienced way too much. Not that she blames me for anything. No, Austen McDavid only loves me. But I should have protected her more. The problem was, we were all so focused on doing everything we could to shelter Elliot and Clara. We succeeded, but it angers me at the cost.

“How was your drive in? Was he surprised?” she asks as we part a bit, but her arm stays wrapped around my shoulders. She tears me from my thoughts, and I cup her jaw.

“You’re losing weight.”

She waves me off. “No, I’m gaining. Dimitri and I have started running, and he makes me eat all the time. His mom? Liza, no joke, she cooks all the time. She’ll come over and drop off a whole meal, even if we’re not there. She’s been so kind.”

I smile widely. “That’s wonderful. Has his dad warmed up?”

Austen beams. “So much so. He called me the good daughter the other day when Katarina was raging through the house.”

I grimace, but it’s for show. I love how crazy Katarina is. She reminds me of Elliot. “What is it now?”

“She wants to go back to Russia, but they won’t give her the money. So, she’s working at her honorary aunt’s cupcake place until she can make enough. Problem is, she likes nice things and blows everything she earns. So then, she tried to get a sugar daddy, and Erik lost his ever-loving shit,” she exclaims, and I love the light in her eyes. Before, this kind of thing would scare her, but now, it only makes her laugh. “Dimitri stays clear, but I was sitting in awe, tasting all kinds of Russian desserts as they all argued. It’s crazy ’cause when they’re mad, it’s not like a vile mad, but a loving mad. I wish we’d grown up with their family.”

“Yeah,” I agree, squeezing her side. “So, where is the sugar daddy, and is she going to Russia?”

Austen snorts. “No, sugar daddy ran when Erik Titov, Shea Adler, and Lucas Brooks met him for dinner.”

My eyes widen at the mention of the OGs of the Nashville Assassins. I don’t even know these men, but I know they’re badass. “Now that had to be terrifying.”

“Oh, it was, especially when Tate Odder rolled up.”

I cackle. “That’s one of Dimitri’s honorary uncles?”

“Yup. And whoa nelly, was it a show. It’s the talk of the family right now.”

The family, being the group of OG Nashville Assassins who still hang out together and love one another as much as they did when they were playing. From what I’ve seen, they are loud and overwhelming, but it pleases me that, instead of a cult, my sister has stumbled into a loving found family. She squeezes me. “Enough about me. I know you hate driving so far. How was it? Was Coleson surprised?”

“It was fine. Louisa drove the whole way, and I did some ordering for the bookstore and the coffee shop. She only cussed out everyone and almost hit a few.” I throw my comments my eldest, road-raging sister’s way, but Louisa ignores my teasing. Austen giggles while I add, “And yes, he was.”

“Dimitri likes him a lot, says he’s a funny guy.”

I smile proudly. “He is when he lets himself be. I’m glad to hear he is that way with the team. I was nervous he would shut down.”

“Does he do that?”

“God, yes, and it drives me mad. He’s so worried about what people think, and I hate that it holds him back.”

She beams at me. “Lord, you love him something fierce.”

“I do,” I agree, beaming back at her. “Though, I thought the surprise would be ruined. He did not like that I didn’t answer his texts and calls.”

Austen snorts. “I’m sure he didn’t. Dimitri would have tracked me down.”

“I’m surprised Coleson didn’t,” I tease, shaking my head. “But we had a nice afternoon, had lunch in the hotel, I took a nap, and then he left. Though, we did have some drama.”

Her brows furrow. “What the hell do you mean?”

I pat her side. “No, he was great. Don’t get all fussy now.”

“Oh, okay. What happened?”

Lousia leans in, eyeing me. “I’ll sic Elliot on him.”

I snort at that, waving her off. “Please don’t, ’cause she’ll pop him one without even thinking.”

Austen nods. “Which is why we would tell her.”

I roll my eyes. “No, Coleson is dumb and does stupid boy shit, but at the end of the day we’re good.”

“What happened, Liza?” Louisa demands.

I give her a dark look and almost remind her that she’s not my mom, but she kinda is. Ignoring that thought since it’ll send me down a dark road, I say, “This crazy chick shows up, practically naked, and says Coleson hired her for the afternoon.” Both my sisters gawk at me. I hold up my hand. “But I know he didn’t because, one, I’m a great lay, and why wouldn’t he want all this?”

Louisa sputters as Austen gives me a dry look. “Men like sex.”

“Yes, and my man likes sex with me,” I tell her, and Austen shakes her head.

“If only I had that kind of confidence.”

Louisa cuts Austen a look. “You do.”

“Eh, sometimes, but Eliza is always so happy and confident. It’s annoying.”

Louisa holds her gaze. “Yeah, and you ran off to Nashville, while I was stuck with her.”

I smack my sister. “You love me. And also, Coleson makes me this way. I swear, he looks at me like he wants to gobble me up. And just saying…I let him.”

They both grin like they’re cats with canaries in their mouths. “I can’t,” Austen cackles, shaking her head.

“All that aside, what if he did hire her?” Louisa asks.

I shake my head. “No, he wouldn’t. He doesn’t have sex before games. He never has, and when I asked her who sent her, ’cause I’m sure it was one of his teammates to get him in trouble, the girl took off.”

Austen’s jaw falls open, and Louisa glares as she gasps, “No fucking way. They’d do that?”

“Yeah,” I say with a disgusted shake of my head. “I realize he has a past, but he’s such a good guy. So giving and kind. He’d give the shirt off his back to his teammates, but they can’t let go of the mistakes he made. He hasn’t had it easy,” I say softly. “I mean, nothing like us, but his parents weren’t the greatest. And in my opinion, he let the attention of making a hockey team get to his head.”

Austen squeezes my hand. “You’re probably right. When you go without the right kind of attention, you either plunge headfirst into the wrong kind, or you run from it.”

“Exactly. Which is why it was nothing for me to look past it all. He’s not that guy. He’s wonderful,” I breathe out as I watch him skate. “I love him very much.”

Louisa leans her head on my shoulder. “We know, Liza.”

Austen leans her head on top of mine. “I just hope he loves you as much as you love him.”

I don’t answer her because I’ve already lied enough, and I can’t confidently say he does. I feel he does, and I want to think he does, even though he hasn’t mentioned the three words I want so damn badly. However, I know things have changed. After last night and after our talk today, I know things are on their way up, but I can’t tell my sisters about that. As much as I don’t like lies between my sisters and me, the one of how my marriage came about will be one I hold forever. I’m okay with it, because in my heart, this has always been what I wanted.

Him. Coleson.

When my eye catches Barnes’s number 7 jersey, I point to him. “Hey, Austen. Who is that?”

She follows the direction of where I am pointing and then opens her trusty iPad. She taps a few times. “Willis Barnes, number seven, forward, left wing, newly acquired by the Kraken over the summer. Oh, he actually played for the Knoxville Bears last year.”

Beside me, Louisa says in a low voice, “His wife is the one Coleson was found with.”

My stomach clenches, and now it makes sense why Coleson looked so stricken on the ice. “He stopped Coleson during warm-ups.”

Louisa nods. “I know. I saw.”

“Hopefully he doesn’t ruin Coleson’s night,” Austen says, a tinge of concern in her voice.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. All night, I have to watch as my husband takes hits from Barnes and a lot of the other Kraken players. Coleson can’t even get a shot off without getting slammed into or checked. Each hit feels like I’m the one taking it, and each time he winces, I wince too. I don’t like this part of hockey, but Coleson’s resilience is inspiring. He doesn’t give up. He plays his game and draws two penalties back-to-back. Though, he hasn’t had a chance to score or even set up a play without someone being on him.

It’s fucking frustrating, for sure.

But this is the big leagues—or at least, that’s what Austen tells me.

I’m not a fan.