Chapter 32

Eliza

My body is still humming from all the pleasure Coleson drew out of me. I thought I was relaxed and sated before, but with the hot water flowing over my body and his fingers moving through my hair, I find that I only want him more.

“Can I ask you something?”

At my question, Coleson pauses his fingers on my scalp where he is washing my hair. Hesitantly, he answers, “Sure.”

I smile at his actions. He’s so cute. “Why do you only call me ‘wife’?”

His fingers start moving again, and I close my eyes as he rubs my scalp. “Honestly?”

“No. Please lie to me.”

He chuckles. “Sassy little wife,” he mutters as he rubs his thumbs along the skin behind my ears. I almost moan at the sensation, but I really want to hear what he has to say. “Your name does something to me. It always has. Ever since I first met you. And I don’t know why, or even how to explain it.”

I open my eyes. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” he says automatically. “Okay, that’s a lie.” I smile, and he clears his throat. “It’s not that there is anything wrong with how it makes me feel, just that, um, well, er?—”

“It scares you?” I suggest, and I feel him tense behind me.

“Yeah,” he admits, and my stomach does a flip. “But everything about you scares me.”

“Oh?”

“Yup,” he says, taking my hips and bringing me under the water. As he rinses my hair, I wait for him to say more, but I know he won’t. I have to tread lightly. It’s as if he is a wounded animal and I have to coax him to take the food I’m offering.

The food being my heart.

My love.

A life with me.

When he’s done washing my hair, I turn in his arms and meet his gaze. “My turn.”

His lips quirk. “You’re going to wash my hair?”

I nod. “Yup. On your knees, you giant.”

He chuckles as he lowers to his knees before me. “Yes, my little wife.”

I roll my eyes playfully as I take his shampoo and work it through his hair. Like he did to me, I massage his scalp and find that I’m unable to keep my thoughts to myself. “I don’t mean to scare you,” I say softly, and his lips curve up, rewarding me with those dimples I adore.

“I know.”

“But I’m not sorry either.”

He chuckles, moving his hands up and down the backs of my thighs.

“I know that too.”

I grin as I rub the back of his neck. When his eyes drift shut, his lashes kissing his cheeks, I only fall for him more. “Can I give you some advice?”

His eyes open again, meeting mine, and damn, he looks good down there. He leans in, kissing my belly as his fingers dance along the backs of my thighs. “Will I like this advice?”

I shrug. “Maybe.”

His eyes burn into mine. “I’m open to it.”

I pull back to look at him. His blue eyes are serious but troubled. I cup his cheek. “Try.”

“Try?”

“Yeah,” I say, rubbing my thumb along his jaw. “Give us a chance. I know you don’t think you want a wife, but Coleson, we’re good together. Can’t you see that?” He swallows and doesn’t answer me. “I think you do,” I say, unable to keep it in. Something flashes in his eyes, and I almost feel like it’s agreement, but he says nothing, just watches me. “What are you thinking?”

His eyes search mine. “A lot.”

“Give me something,” I practically beg, stroking my fingers along the side of his head, continuing my massage. “What do you think about my advice?”

His fingers still on my thighs, but his thumbs still stroke my skin as his eyes burn into mine. “I don’t want to hurt you, and trying will make you feel things for me.” I press my lips together to keep from screaming that I love him. I swallow, the lump in my throat suffocating me as I try to continue my massage. “Things I don’t know how to feel.”

God, he is a stupid boy.

“So, you’re saying you don’t feel anything for me?” I ask, as calmly as I can.

To his credit, he doesn’t look away. His eyes stay locked, burning into mine. “I care for you greatly. But, Wife?—”

“Eliza.” His eyes widen, his mouth pressing in a line. “I know my name makes you feel things. And guess what? I want you to feel them.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking for. I don’t know what is going to happen with my career, people will think less of you, and I can’t drag you down with me.”

I scoff. “No one will drag either of us down as long as we stand together.”

His eyes darken. Gone is the bright-blue hue, leaving only the deeper color that I’m so damn fond of. “I know you think I’m a good guy, but I’m not.”

“I don’t agree,” I say simply, and he groans in distress.

“Not this again.”

“Listen to me,” I insist, holding his gaze. “I get your apprehension, and I’ve seen the way people treat you. But Coleson, fuck them.” I tighten my grip on his jaw. “They don’t see how you make sure to bring me a glass of water at night or how you’re moving up building a wall around a toilet for me to make me comfortable. You made sure this whole place was a home for me. They don’t see that, but I do. And I know the truth. You are a good man. You are my man.”

His eyes widen and don’t leave mine. “You don’t want me.”

“I do,” I laugh, running my thumbs along his bottom lip. My heart pounds in my chest, and I can’t keep the words in. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Coleson.”

His shoulders sag, but I don’t allow that to hurt me. “Eliza,” he warns, his eyes pleading.

I trail my thumbs along his jaw. “Coleson,” I say softly. “I told you I would.”

“But you shouldn’t have. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t,” I tell him, begging him with my eyes. “I’m not asking for you to love me right this second. I’m not asking you to promise me a future. I’m asking you to try.”

He leans in, pressing his forehead just below my breasts, placing a kiss to my belly. He moves his hands up the back of my thighs to my ass, and I cup his head, running my fingers along his neck as I wait for his answer. My stomach is in knots, and my heart is a steel drum in my chest. I’m thankful for the shower, the water flowing over us as the tears I’ve tried to keep in spill over and run down my cheeks.

I want so badly for him to love me. I want a future with him. I want everything, but I fear he doesn’t want to give it to me. It’s not that he can’t. I know he can. I can feel it with every touch, every kiss, and every look. I want to tell him that, but I worry I’ve already scared the shit out of him. When he looks up at me, his eyes meet mine as he grips my hips. “What if I said I wouldn’t fight it anymore?”

Excitement vibrates through me. “I mean, that’s a roundabout way of saying you’re going to try.”

His lips quirk as he squeezes my hips. “Sassy little wife.”

I cup his shoulders and squeeze him back. “Stubborn, pain-in-my-ass, giant husband.”

Coleson’s lip curve up in a wide grin. “Fine.”

I nod, grinning down at him. “Fine.”

“Are you done with my hair?”

“I am, unless you want me to continue.”

He shakes his head. “Nope. I want to make you scream again.”

“Again?” I ask breathlessly as heat shoots straight between my thighs.

He nods, leaning in so that his nose trails along my slit. When he looks up at me, his pupils are blown out and set on me. “Yes, again. And then again. And maybe once more until you forget anything but my name.” Wanting just that, I hook my leg over his shoulder, and he laughs as he steadies me, his hands holding my ass in place. “Impatient, Wife?”

I lick my lips. “When it comes to you, yes.”

“Mmm,” he moans against my center. “Then let me give my wife what she wants—since I’m down here and all.”

As he traces my pussy lips with his tongue, I groan. “This is true. Right where you belong.”

His eyes dance with humor but also desire. “That’s right,” he murmurs against my lips. “Now, open this pretty pussy for me, Eliza.”

I almost come at just my name, but I refrain, doing what he asks. As his tongue curls around my clit, I’m lost in the pleasure only he can bring me.

And I know he’ll be the only man I love for the rest of my life.