16. Ryan

The cold watercascades over my body, but it does little to quell the heat coursing through my veins. Images of last night flash through my mind—Emma's soft skin, her breathy moans, the way she looked as she touched herself. I groan, pressing my forehead against the cool tile of the shower wall.

What was I thinking, doing this with her? I'm not that kind of guy, not like Lukas. When I get involved with someone, it's serious. I don't do casual hookups or fuck around with coworkers. But Emma…she's different. From the moment I met her, I felt a pull, a connection I couldn't quite explain. And after last night, after seeing her come undone, after feeling the softness of her skin under my fingers…I know I'm in deep.

I dress quickly, needing to put some distance between myself and the hotel room, between myself and Emma, who's still curled up in the bed asleep. My stomach growls despite the knots in my gut as I head down to the hotel restaurant.

Sitting at a table, I pick at my food, my mind wandering back to Emma. Is she awake yet? Is she thinking about me too? The thought sends a thrill through me, followed quickly by a pang of guilt.

I shouldn't be thinking about her like this. We work together, for fuck's sake. I need to keep things professional, focus on the job at hand.

But even as I tell myself this, I know it's a lie. Because the truth is, I want her. I want to feel her body against mine, taste her skin, lose myself inside her.

I swallow hard, shifting in my seat as my cock twitches at the thought. God, what this woman does to me. I've never felt such a strong, visceral attraction before. It's like she's a magnet and I'm helpless to resist her pull.

I stab a piece of sausage with my fork, chewing it methodically as I try to get a grip. I can't let this thing with Emma spin out of control. Teammates hookup with staff all the time, but it rarely ends well.

Besides, she deserves better than some quick fling. Emma's special—smart, driven, incredibly sexy. The total package. A woman like her isn't meant for secret trysts and walk-of-shame mornings.

No, if I'm going to pursue this, I need to do it right. Take her on real dates, treat her the way she deserves. Show her I'm serious about exploring what's between us.

The thought is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. I'm not used to feeling so off-balance, so consumed by someone else. But I also can't deny how good it feels, how alive she makes me.

I polish off my coffee and head back up to the room, resolve strengthening with each step. I don't know how Emma feels or what she wants, but I know I need to find out. I can't let fear or assumptions hold me back.

Not this time.

The limo ride back to Chicago is excruciating. As soon as I walked into the room and saw Emma, all my resolve vanished, striking me mute. Now, Emma and I sit on opposite sides of the car, a tense silence stretching between us. I try to focus on the passing scenery, on the music playing softly through the speakers. But my eyes keep drifting back to Emma, to the way the sunlight plays off her hair, the way her lips part slightly as she stares out the window.

Every time I look at her, memories of last night come flooding back. The sound of her gasps, the feel of her heat against my palm, the way her body arched as she chased her pleasure. It's like a movie playing on repeat in my mind, each scene more vivid than the last.

I shift in my seat, trying to ignore the growing ache in my groin. I know I should say something, find out what she is thinking, feeling. But what can I say?

Sorry for watching you touch yourself, sorry for coming all over you like a desperate teenager?

I run a hand over my face, feeling the rasp of stubble against my palm. This is fucking ridiculous. We're both adults. We can handle a little awkwardness.

I clear my throat. "So, about last night…"

Emma's head snaps towards me, her blue eyes wide. "Ryan, we don't have to?—"

"I think we do," I interrupt gently. "Look, I know things got a little intense. And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or crossed any lines."

She shakes her head. "You didn't. I wanted it. Wanted you." Her cheeks flush pink at the admission.

Relief courses through me, followed quickly by a fresh wave of desire. I want to reach for her, to pull her into my lap and pick up where we left off. But I force myself to stay still.

"I'm glad," I say roughly. "Because I want you too, Emma. So fucking much. But I need you to know that this isn't just some fling for me. When I'm with someone, I'm all in."

Her breath catches. "What are you saying?"

I hold her gaze, letting her see the sincerity in my eyes. "I'm saying I want to do this right. Take you on real dates, spend time together outside of work. See where this thing between us can go."

She bites her lip, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "I'd like that. But Ryan… I'm not ready to commit to anything exclusive right now, at least not yet, and I want to make sure we're on the same page about that."

"Of course," I agree readily. "We'll take it slow, figure it out as we go, okay?" I brush my thumb along her cheekbone, marveling at the smoothness of her skin, the delicate flutter of her lashes against my fingertips. "I just…I don't want to waste this chance."

"Neither do I," Emma says. She tilts her face up to mine and kisses me, soft and sweet. I lose myself in the taste of her, the gentle pressure of her mouth moving against mine.

All too soon, she pulls away. The limo slows down, and I realize with a sinking feeling that we've arrived at Emma's place.

With one last lingering look, Emma slips out of the limo. I watch her walk toward her building, her hips swaying slightly with each step. She pauses at the door and glances back at me, biting her lip. Then she disappears inside, leaving me alone with my racing thoughts.

I slump back against the seat, my head spinning. I know pursuing a relationship with Emma is a terrible idea. We're coworkers, for one thing. And then there's the issue of my dick—I've yet to meet a woman who can handle it. Madison was always uncomfortable during sex. Emma didn't seem shocked last night, but who knows if she'll want to try taking me or if she'll be overwhelmed by it.

But as the limo pulls away from the curb, all I can think about is how desperately I want to hold her again. To run my fingers through her silky hair and taste the sweetness of her kiss.

I'm falling for Emma, hard and fast.