Chapter 44

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Jordy

I text Lola again, which I have been doing for the last three hours.

Me:

Please call me.

Me:

You are worrying me now. Call me, baby.

Where the fuck is she and where is Wade?

The soft ding of my private elevator alerts me to a visitor and my ass is off the sofa. I’m leaping over the back of it and running to greet the girl I've been worried sick about all night.

Relief washes over me as the doors slide open.

She’s here.

Stepping inside the safety of my apartment, she drops her purse and keys on the floor, exhaling loudly before running her fingers through her hair.

She looks broken, deflated.

“I’m so sorry, Lola.” I don’t know what else to say.

Her shoulders droop. Those beautiful eyes of hers look back at me, all swollen and teary. I quickly wrap her in my arms and she nuzzles into my chest, allowing me to relax with a deep sigh. I’m so fucking happy she’s chosen to come here.

But my sunshine girl has lost her sparkle. “I would ask how you are, but I think I already know the answer.”

“I don’t know where to start, Jordy. I’ve felt sick for days. My brother doesn’t want to know me. Although, I’m not sure about that because he was nice to me before he ran off. He thinks Kali doesn’t love him. My ex sold my story and blew Wade’s life apart. Marcus and Nicki’s. Zane’s. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.” She buries her face into my chest. “I fucking hate Graham. I hate him so much.” Her voice muffled, she grabs fistfuls of my tee shirt. “I wish I’d never met him.” Sobbing now, she wails, “Everything is my fault.”

“It’s not.” I run my hand up and down her back to comfort her, but I know it’s probably not enough.

“Yes, it is, Jordy.” She pushes out of our embrace and begins pacing back and forth. “I should have stayed away. I should never have told Graham. I should never have dated him. I should have moved away when my dad died… I should… I should…” Clutching her chest, she struggles to catch a breath and I’m holding her again before she can finish the sentence her panic attack won’t allow her to.

“Breathe, baby. Just breathe.” I cup my hand around the back of her neck and hold her close, giving her time to calm down.

“It’s a disaster. Wade quit the team.” Her chest stutters against mine.

“What?” I exclaim, then find the words she needs to hear. “He doesn’t mean it.” He would have said it in the heat of the moment. “Where is Wade?” I ask.

“On the location tracker, it looks like he’s driving to his house at Caulder Creek.”

He’s running away, which I knew he would.

“Is Miranda really your mother?” I ask, unable to comprehend that information.

“Everything the papers said is true.” She confirms.

That’s a first.

“I’m nothing like her, Jordy.”

By accident, I watched ten minutes of that ridiculous reality television series Miranda’s on, and Lola couldn’t be more different from her. Lola’s values define her, not the blood that runs through her veins.

“You’re Wade’s sister?” I can’t fucking believe it. I read every article online. Twice. And it’s so fucking obvious to me now.

When she said she was working for the Eagles for a reason, I knew the reason was related to Wade. I just didn’t know she was related to him by blood.

“I’m his half-sister,” she corrects me.

“Semantics,” I counter.

She looks up at me with a piercing look. “Are you mad at me? Because if you are, I can’t take any more drama tonight, Jordy.”

Am I mad? Yes. A little. I wish she had trusted me to tell me who she was Wade’s little sister.

Scared I’m going to lose her? Absolutely.

Maybe if she had told the truth in the beginning, we never would have agreed to this thing between us.

Whatever this is now. It’s grown roots, and it’s so much more than it was. More than I hoped for.

I feel the weight of her sorrow when she says, “I’ve had two of the shittiest days of my life, and quite frankly the last twelve months haven’t been that great either. So, if you’re mad at me for not telling you I was Wade’s sister, can you save it for now, please? I needed to come here tonight to see you. One last time.”

One last time?

I already know how this is going to end.

I can feel the walls closing in on us and there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it.

“Please don’t say that. I’m here for you. I will always be here for you. Don’t shut me out.” I brush her hair off her face.

“How can this be more though, Jordy? We both knew this was never going to last. You’re a hockey player for the team I work, I mean, worked for?” She corrects herself. “I won’t continue to be employed by them, and I don’t know what’s happening with me and Wade. And what started as a rebound thing between us turned into something different. We meet in secret and that’s all there is to us.”

She’s talking shit.

We are so much more. We spend evenings together watching movies, she cooks for my sisters, she dances around my living room, singing at the top of her lungs. I know how she takes her coffee in the morning: one sugar and milky, but she’s been off coffee recently and has a cup of tea instead. I know the exact brand of toothpaste she uses because she has super sensitive teeth. I also know she’s allergic to shellfish and can’t eat eggs because they make her sick. She prefers winter over summer, she wants a big family—four kids, a house in the suburbs and three vacations every year to make memories. I know all of this because, between our hectic schedules, we share everything about our lives.

We are something.

We are everything.

She’s my everything .

Dread swims through my stomach like a shark circling its prey. She’s going to fucking kill me if she calls time on us. “Don’t make any hasty decisions, Lola. You have a lot on your plate now. Please, promise me you won’t push me away.”

Do we have to tell Wade about us?

We meet in secret and that’s all there is to us.

Her words gnaw at my brain.

Fuck. She’s right. This is a bit complicated.

A lot complicated is more accurate.

Fear is not something I am familiar with, but I feel it deep in my bones, way down to the marrow.

“We’ve been na?ve, Jordy.”

We have. How long did we seriously think this would last?

“I don’t want us to end,” I confess, the words catching in my throat.

“Neither do I, but I need to focus on Wade to salvage whatever is left of my family and the relationship I have with him. I want to go home and wait for him. Kali is broken, Jordy. I need to be there for her, and I can’t deal with whatever this is. It’s too much.”

Too much, and yet I’m not enough.

“We are…” She motions to the space between us.

Meant to be together?

Over?

“Complicated.” I finish her sentence and cradle her face in my hands. It’s over. Fuck, I feel the tension building in my chest enough to make it burst and I feel like I might cry.

She nods, her eyes filling with tears again as I drop my forehead to hers.

“Family first,” I agree. At the same time, my conscience is punching my brain, trying to knock some sense into me to beg her not to do this.

She nods. “I wanted to come here and tell you face to face, but I have to leave now, Jordy.”

Please stay.

“You know where I am if you need me, yeah? You don’t have to go through this all by yourself.” I kiss her forehead.

Since her father died, she’s been carrying herself like a queen when I know she’s barely holding it together.

“I have Kali and Piper.” She tucks her lips into her mouth to stop her bottom lip trembling.

Dark circles under her eyes, she looks pale. And she told me she keeps getting sick and can’t keep anything down.

“Did you go to the doctor today?” I’m worried about her.

“I didn’t.”

“You need to make an appointment tomorrow.” I would take her if she would let me, but she won’t.

“I’ll try. I’m sure I feel sick from stress,” she explains with a subtle nod. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me being Wade’s sister.”

In silence, we stand there just looking at one another.

On tiptoes, she brushes her lips against mine, and I know this is our final kiss. She breaks our connection, looking horrified. “I’m sick. What if it’s not stress and I have something serious, and you catch it?”

I grab the belt loops on her jeans and pull her back. “I don’t care.”

One last time.

I kiss her. Pushing my tongue between the seam of my mouth, she hypnotizes me with her little licks and swirls as she twists hers around mine. It’s soft, full of unspoken words and unfilled wishes. I worship her mouth, worship her; the woman I never want to stop kissing. The girl I love sharing my day with, who is the first person I text every morning, night, and after every game.

“I have to go,” she says, breaking our kiss. “Because if you keep kissing me like that, I might end up staying.”

“Then stay.” I would get down on my hands and knees and beg if I thought I could change her mind.

She lifts her shoulders to her ears and shakes her head. “I can’t.” The warmth of her body leaves me feeling cold, her hand slipping out of mine as she heads for the elevator.

I place my hand on my chest, the pain unbearable as I watch her pick up her purse and keys, then press the call button, making the doors open.

“Will you call me?” I need to know she’s okay. Not talking to her every day will kill me over time. It’s killing me now.

“I’ll try,” she replies.

That wasn’t a yes.

She steps inside the elevator and holds the door open button, and I do everything in my power to stretch out our time together.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and pull up the page I’ve been looking at. “I picked a funeral parlor.”

Her top lip rises into what looks like an Elvis curl as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “Huh? What for?”

“Because if Wade ever finds out about us, he’ll break every bone in my body before chopping me up into tiny pieces.”

“You’re being a little dramatic, don’t you think?” she asks with a hint of humor and a smile.

“No. I’m being realistic. Did you not listen to the chopping into tiny pieces part? Dating sisters is a big no-no. Add exes to that list and mothers.”

“It didn’t stop Zane.”

“Zane? What the fuck did he do?”

“ Who did Zane do is a better question.”

I recoil. “Who did he do?” I’m not sure I want to know.

“Miranda.”

“Your mother?” What the fuck.

Her tone laced with bitterness, she doesn’t hold back her thoughts. “She’s not my mother. Miranda has never been in my life, and she wasn’t in Wade’s much either, if at all. She’s a pitiful excuse for a mother. She doesn’t deserve either of us.” Lola stands tall.

“You two are the nicest people I’ve ever met. I hope it works out for all of you.” She deserves her happy ever after.

Her eyes soften around the edges. “Thank you, Jordy. You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met too, and I will never forget what you did for me and how you made me feel.”

Because she caught feelings for me, and I know she doesn’t want to end this.

But she has to. For her family’s sake.

“You were right though.” She tucks her lips into her mouth.

“About what?”

“Wade’s going to slice you into sushi-sized pieces. He’ll probably start with your dick.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” I cup my junk; the phantom pain makes my balls shoot up inside my body.

She lets the button go and the doors begin to close. “Take care, Jordy.”

“See you around, Teacup.”

Her beautiful face I’ve come to love disappears.

I genuinely thought we had something. I thought maybe once hockey season was over, her contract would come to an end, meaning we could date. Officially. Holding hands and shit. The full Monty. I thought she wanted that too.

And now I’m not so sure.

We were just a rebound fling.

I was a fool to think it was anything more.