16. Ethan

16

Ethan

Tears are streaming down her face right now. She’s openly sobbing.

I hate making her cry.

I’m finally sharing parts of me that I never would have before, but I still hate to see her emotional and know that I caused it. Emotions aren’t bad despite what I’ve always been told.

She’s not crying because I’m hurting her. She’s crying because I never used to say things like this to her before.

It’s good to purge the feelings that have been stored up for so long.

“Thank you for saying that,” she murmurs as I envelop her in my arms. “I didn’t… I needed to hear that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think… I think when we were younger it was so hard to believe if my thoughts about how you felt about me were real or not because my insecurities were just so loud, you know? And you never really spoke about your feelings.”

“I told you all the time that I loved you and that I didn’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Those are just things you say when you’re in a relationship. I didn’t… How could I accept those words, when I didn’t even love myself?”

Shit.

“I never knew that.

“I can’t really explain it. Back then, all I ever heard was the negative stories people told me about myself and now… now I just block that out. It took a lot for me to get here.”

“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful, you’re kind, you’re patient, you’re smart, you’re sexy, you’re funny. You’re perfect.”

She buries her face in my chest and starts crying harder.

She had her insecurities and I had mine. I used to tell her how much I appreciated her, but my actions didn’t show it.

I didn’t reassure her in the ways that I should have.

That changes now. I will show her all of her great qualities. I will support her to make sure she never feels that way again.

I take a deep breath, knowing that I kept part of me hidden from the world for a very long time and if I want Elena back, she has to know all of me.

"I was raised in a family that only cared about what other people thought. They were obsessed with how others perceived them. We had to be at every social event, with the right crowd, always putting on a show. My parents are miserable in their marriage, it’s why they both cheat on each other so much."

Her eyes widen slightly, but she stays silent, letting me continue.

"I am so impressed with you," I say, my voice growing softer. "You march to the beat of your own drum. You don't care what anyone else thinks."

A small, wry smile tugs at the corners of her lips. She shakes her head, a gentle laugh escaping her.

"Oh, Ethan, that's far from the truth. I used to care so much about what people thought of me. I played it small for years, afraid to step out of line."

"That's not how I saw it."

She shrugs, her smile fading into a more serious expression.

"It's true. I was always worried about fitting in, about being liked. It took me a long time to realize that it wasn't making me happy."

"I guess we all have our struggles."

"You've never really talked about your family much to me. I never understood why."

"As you know, we were never close. My parents... they didn't feel like my family. I was raised by a nanny for most of my life. She was the one who took care of me, who was there for me. When she quit, it felt like my world fell apart. No one knew how hard that hit me."

Ellie's eyes soften, and she squeezes my hand. "I’m glad you shared that with me. I wish I would have known or asked.”

"It was, that's when I started hanging out with Daniel all the time. He became my escape, my brother in a way. Your family has always treated me like I belong there. I never felt that before."

"I never understood why your parents were rarely around, but Daniel always told me not to talk about it with you.”

I let out a bitter laugh. "They cared more about going on lavish trips, being at brunches, wine nights, drinking constantly. They were more interested in their social lives than they ever were in me."

Ellie frowns, her brow furrowing. "That sounds awful, Ethan."

"It was. My dad would hire the best trainers and coaches for me, lecture me on games and appearances. When did you ever see my dad at any of my games? Never. Exactly.”

"Does he come to your games now?"

I shake my head, a sad smile on my lips. "Only if it's a social thing. I'm not sure if he's actually ever watched me play."

She squeezes my hand again, her touch grounding me. "I never realized how much you were carrying, I'm glad you told me."

I nod, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "Me too."

"Do you ever talk to your parents now?" Ellie asks gently.

I shrug, leaning against the counter. "Not really. My dad’s on my ass a lot about the team, mom is too but more about what my actions look like to the family name."

Whiskers comes over and starts brushing up against my leg. Ellie looks down at her with a fond smile. She gasps and then looks back up at me.

“I just had an amazing idea.”

“What’s that?”

“The humane society in town. I’m sure they could use volunteers or a fundraiser of some sort. That would be a perfect thing for you to show people you’re not who everyone believes you to be. We could involve the entire team and make it a big thing. It would be so good for the team, the town, the humane society, you. It’s like ten birds with one stone.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. I always want to donate and never get around to it.”

“We’re about to change that. Didn’t one of your guys get into trouble recently too?”

“Jeremy, the one the entire team is having issues with.”

“Perfect, this will help in that area too. There’s a lot we can do to help with your image and the team’s. We could have you guys mentor the high school or grade school teams too.”

“Oh, I like that idea. Again, it’s something that I’ve thought of and never initiated. My dad donates money all over town, but he never actually puts in the work.”

“I think that’s a big difference. Yeah, the money is great but a lot of these places lack the manpower. I talked to Jetta Grey a few days ago, her husband is the high school hockey coach. She told me that he struggles with getting the parents onboard, but also that most of them are raised by single moms without dads in the picture and they just need male role models. The school board took away all of the extra coaches, so it’s him and twelve to twenty kids. He has a freshman team, JV, and varsity.”

“And he’s coaching all three by himself?”

“That’s what she told me. He’s ready to quit because they keep pulling the funding and putting it on the parents, and the parents can’t afford it and he’s losing some of his best players to private schools that can afford it all.”

“What a cycle.”

“That’s what I thought. This would be perfect. Let me run some things by the humane society and the schools and see what we can do. I think the humane society can be a one off, once a few months thing but the schools could be more regular.”

“I’d like that. I think that if the guys saw in real time that kids were watching their every move they’d be more likely to think about their actions as they’re happening.”

“Yeah, I would agree.”

“See, I knew you’d be the best at this job.”

“Say that again when I get you physical results on paper,” she giggles.

“Hey, I’m going to run to the bank? Can you watch the front?” Keeley asks as she pops her head into the office.

“Absolutely,” Elena grins as she follows Keeley out of the office.

I follow behind them both and watch Elena as she and Keeley laugh about something.

A customer comes in and Elena greets her and walks over to help her make some clothing choices for her daughter’s birthday gift.

I catch Ellie’s eye and wave, mouthing that I need to leave. She nods, understanding, and gives me a small smile before turning back to her conversation. I slip out of the store quietly, making my way to the Jaguar. The drive to the rink is short, and I’m soon stepping into the familiar scent of ice and rubber.

As the owner of the team, I have a lot of responsibilities, and today is no different. I head straight to my office, where my executive assistant, Lisa, is already bustling around with paperwork.

“Morning, Lisa,” I say, giving her a nod as I enter.

“Morning, Ethan,” she replies, barely looking up from her work. “You’ve got a meeting with the coaching staff in twenty minutes, and the accountant wants to go over last month’s numbers after that.”

“Thanks,” I reply, grabbing a folder from my desk. “Also, can you get me the contact information for the local schools? I’ve got an idea I want to discuss with them.”

Lisa looks up, curiosity in her eyes. “What’s the idea?”

“I’m thinking about setting up some outreach programs,” I explain, my excitement evident. “You know, working with the kids to help build the team’s image in the community. Maybe we can run some hockey clinics, have the players visit, stuff like that.”

“Your dad always said that was too much drama and a waste of time. He used to say, ‘Just give them money and they’ll leave you alone for a year.’”

I stare at her blankly for a moment, taken aback by her offhand comment. “Seems like his business and parenting styles are the same.”

“Maybe so. But you’re not your father, Ethan.”

“No, I’m not. Let me know when you have those contacts.”

I head to the conference room, where the coaching staff is already gathered. We spend the next hour discussing strategies, player performances, and upcoming games. It’s intense, but I thrive on this kind of energy. Once the meeting wraps up, I move on to the accountant’s office. We review the financials, and I’m relieved to see that we’re on track.

With the administrative tasks out of the way, I switch hats and head to the locker room. I change into my workout gear, eager to get in some exercise. The gym is quiet, and I start with some weights, feeling the satisfying burn in my muscles as I lift. My mind clears, focusing only on the rhythm of my movements and the steady beat of my heart.

After an hour, I switch to the treadmill, setting a brisk pace. As I run, I think about the outreach program. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and I’m determined to make it happen. The thought of giving back to the community, of making a difference, fuels my motivation.

Once my workout is done, I head to the rink. The cold air hits me as I step onto the ice, and I take a moment to relish the familiar sensation. Skating has always been my escape, my way of finding balance. I push off, gliding effortlessly across the ice, feeling the tension in my body melt away.

I practice drills, weaving in and out of cones, practicing shots on goal. The sound of my skates cutting into the ice and the puck hitting the boards is music to my ears. I lose track of time, caught up in the sheer joy of being on the ice.

Eventually, I skate to a stop, breathing heavily but feeling exhilarated. I look around the empty rink, imagining it filled with kids from the local schools, laughing and learning to skate. The image brings a smile to my face.

I head back to my office, finding Lisa still at her desk. She looks up as I enter, holding up a piece of paper.

“I’ve got the contact information you asked for,” she says, handing it to me.

“Thanks, Lisa, I’m really excited about this.”

“I can see that.”

I got contact information for the schools. I’m eager to move forward with it. Let’s grab dinner tonight.

I have plans. Raincheck?

Have fun.

I let out a sigh and stare down at my phone. I shoot a text to Daniel.

Want to grab dinner tonight?

Yeah, I’m wrapping up at work. I’ll shower and meet you at Rascal’s at eight. There is a UFC fight on tonight, should be a good crowd.

Sounds great, I’ll see you then.

My phone rings and the Caller ID says it’s the Frostwood Falls Police Department.

“Ethan Anderson,” I say into the phone.

“Ethan, it’s Sean Qualls.”

“Hey, Sean, what’s up?”

“I tried to get a hold of Elena and she’s not answering her phone. The security alarm to the shop rang through here. You’re still listed as another point of contact for the security company. My officers responded and there was someone running out the back. They’re looking for them now but haven’t turned up anything.”

“Was anything stolen?”

“It doesn’t look like they were able to get in. The back door is damaged, but not broken all the way into.”

“I’ll get a hold of Elena and Daniel. One of us will be down there.”

“I’m assuming it has to do with the body found this morning and someone trying to make a TikTok or something stupid.”

“Most likely just a nosey person.”

“I’ll meet you guys down there.”

We hang up the phone and I immediately call Elena. She doesn’t answer so I call Daniel.

“I can’t get a hold of Elena, but Detective Qualls called to say that someone tried to break into the boutique.”

“I know, I’m headed there now. The security company called, that’s why I didn’t answer Sean’s call. Did he say if they found anyone?”

“Some dark figure ran off when they got there but they’re still looking for them.”

“Okay, I’m pulling up now.”

I grab my things and make my way out to the car, trying to call Elena again with no luck.

She said she had plans, but what kind of plans did she have that she can’t answer a call?

I send her a text message for good measure and then make my way to the boutique.

Daniel has reset the security alarm and there’s nothing stolen. There’s minimal damage to the outside of the building. Still no one is able to get a hold of Elena.

“My officers will continue combing the neighborhood for the suspect, but chances are, they’re long gone,” Sean says.

He walks back over to his officers, and I look back at Daniel.

“Who could be trying to break into the store? Grams never mentioned having problems before.”

“It’s probably just a kid in town curious about why the cops were all here earlier,” he shrugs. “I saw a headline talking about a dead body being found in a local store, but it didn’t say much else.”

“So the crazies will come out.”

“Most likely,” he sighs. “There’s not much else we can do here. Let’s head to Rascal’s and hopefully Elena will call us back soon.”

I don’t like that someone tried to break into the shop and now we can’t get a hold of Elena.

I’m going to drive by the house to see if her car is there before I go to the bar.