Chapter Four
Storm held his breath as he walked inside the house. He had purposely stayed gone all day. Now, he kind of regretted that decision. Despite living alone for nearly four years, he didn’t any longer, and the fear he always felt as a child roared back to life. Barrett had never lashed out at him, and Storm didn’t owe him anything. Still, Storm was who he was, and his past was his past. There were quirks he couldn’t shake. Being scared of being in the center of someone’s fury was one of those things.
The scent of food lingered in the air. He found Barrett at the kitchen sink, loading the dishwasher. Barrett glanced over his shoulder as Storm stepped into the room. “Hey. I thought you’d be home a lot sooner. I left you a plate in the microwave.”
Storm moved to a stool at the island and sat. “One of my teammates showed me around town so I can find my way. I haven’t had much a chance to do that.”
He saw the way Barrett’s muscles tensed and his jaw worked, but he didn’t explode. “I’m glad you’re making friends.”
“Friend? That’s a nice sentiment since I’m a cheat, according to you.” He didn’t know why he couldn’t stop. “Maybe he’s more than a friend.”
Barrett turned off the water and walked away without looking Storm’s way. Storm watched him walk down the hall before shutting himself inside their bedroom. His eyelids fell. He was tired. Storm didn’t want to be angry. Things just didn’t feel settled, and he didn’t think they ever would be. Barrett was here, though. No one else could say that. Storm couldn’t pretend like he had loved ones beating down his door, hoping to help.
Storm followed him. When he turned the knob, he was more than a little surprised the door wasn’t locked. He found Barrett standing at the window, staring out. Storm sat on the bed and watched him. “I’m sorry. That was a low blow.”
Barrett’s shoulders expanded on a deep breath. “I just need a minute.”
Storm stayed quiet, but he didn’t leave. Since Barrett had shown up and stayed, he looked more every day like the boy who had stolen Storm’s heart. He was tall and skinny, with taut muscles like a runner. His cold stare never changed, but like Storm, he was a byproduct of his upbringing. Being soft wasn’t an option. That would get him killed. Storm missed him. He missed talking to him, hearing his voice. Barrett had always been all Storm had. He was Storm’s human contact. Human touch. Storm wasn’t alone in their problems. He knew he had failed Barrett too. There were lies Barrett didn’t know about.
Storm took a breath. “Dad never stopped. He just got better at hiding it.”
Barrett turned. His face turned harder than usual. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Storm made a helpless gesture. “He’s a cop. More times than I can count, he made it very clear your dad might keep you safe, but accidents happened.” Storm held Barrett’s stare. “I could live with the abuse, but I couldn’t live without you. Anyone crazy enough to hurt their son the way he did is crazy enough to kill you. I couldn’t let that happen.” He looked away. “But I guess I ended up choosing myself in the end. I should’ve let him kill me instead. A lot of bullshit could’ve been avoided.”
Barrett crossed the room and stood over him. He was helpless against lifting his chin to meet Barrett’s stare. No one could possibly understand. Barrett had been the center of Storm’s whole universe for as long as he could remember. When his life had been completely devoid of love and kindness, Barrett had moved into his soul. He had kept Storm breathing.
Barrett set one knee on the bed at Storm’s hip. His hands landed on Storm’s shoulders. Despite everything, Storm couldn’t push him away.
“You should’ve told me.” His voice was hard. A shiver ran down Storm’s spine. This was the version of Barrett that had stolen him and wrecked him. “I would’ve made him disappear. You would’ve been safe. There’s always been a place with me for you.” He shoved, taking Storm down on the bed before straddling him. Barrett braced his palms on either side of Storm’s head and went nose to nose with Storm. “How did you not know I would keep you safe? That’s my job.”
Without thinking, Storm gripped Barrett’s hips. He swallowed, fighting the growing lust. “At what point are you too far into your father’s life to come back to me? What happens when you can’t look at yourself in the mirror any longer? Before you lose who you are? Who I fell in love with. If you had killed him, maybe you wouldn’t have felt the same about me afterward.” Storm swallowed again around the lump in his throat. “It’s like you still don’t understand how empty and black my life was without you back then.” He looked away. “Or maybe you do. That keeps me up at night, wondering if you understood exactly how you destroyed me. How you still wreck me?” He went cold inside again.
Barrett kissed his neck and then his ear.
Storm closed his eyes. He tried closing his heart, but he couldn’t. “I was angry at you for signing that contract, even though you deserved to get it. Then I was mad at me for being upset with you.” He kissed the spot beneath Storm’s ear. “You left me so easily. There’s no way you didn’t know my dad wouldn’t let me go with no warning like that. He can’t keep his son safe here. He’s always been good to you. Always loved you. I knew that would change if I ran with you.” Barrett took a shaky breath. “And you deserved to be free.”
Storm’s arms locked around Barrett with no plan. “I’m not free without you. I’m not even sure I’m free with you. There’s something wrong inside me that stops people from loving me, including me.”
Barrett buried his face against Storm’s neck and inhaled, as if he dragged Storm’s scent into his lungs. “There’s no one loved more than you. You can’t try to leave me again. Twice in one lifetime is two times too many. My heart can’t take it. My soul is already holding on by a thread. It’s terrifying to think what I might do if I don’t have you. What I might become.” He kissed Storm’s neck again. “My conscience.” His lips kept brushing Storm’s skin. “My everything.” He cupped Storm’s jaw and forced his face back his way. “I love you enough for the both of us.” His mouth covered Storm’s.
Storm was weak. The moment Barrett’s tongue stroked his, Storm lost the battle. He didn’t know how to keep Barrett at arm’s length or stop loving him. Storm was addicted. He tugged at Barrett’s t-shirt, needing to feel his skin. It felt like forever since he touched Barrett. Barrett didn’t fail him. In no time, they were shirtless. He moaned when their bare chests met.
Barrett worked on getting Storm out of his jeans. Storm didn’t hesitate to let him have them. Barrett practically leaped from the bed to strip away his own pants. He grabbed the lube from the side table and was back before Storm's skin chilled. Storm forced his mind blank. He couldn’t think about the condom thing. Even though the air had been cleared on the reasons behind that, he was gun shy. His sanity still hung by a thread. If Barrett suddenly whipped out a condom… he couldn’t even consider it. Then Barrett’s lubed fingers were in Storm’s ass, and Storm forgot everything.
Barrett fingered him while stealing kisses. Storm writhed against his touch. His cock leaked. Tiny mewling sounds came from the back of his throat. Barrett made him a mess. Barrett shifted to his knees between Storm’s thighs. He held Storm’s stare as he hooked his arms beneath Storm’s knees and pulled him closer, positioning Storm for the taking. All Storm could do was hold Barrett’s stare as Barrett pressed his dick against Storm’s asshole. His face was flushed. Barrett’s lips were swollen. The intense expression he wore had Storm quivering with excitement. Then Barrett thrust. A loud moan escaped Storm.
“I’ve missed you. Fuck, I’ve missed you so goddamn much.” Barrett’s confession had Storm’s eyes filling with tears. He didn’t know what Barrett fucked harder: his ass or his heart.
Storm’s mouth ran without him. “I don’t want to live without you anymore. I’ll quit. If you want me to move back home, I will. I just can’t wake up another day without you. It’s not possible. I don’t have the strength.”
Barrett’s intensity never waned. “Be quiet, Storm. You’re mine. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.” He moaned. “Jesus, Storm. That’s it. You’re doing such a good job of taking it. This pretty hole is just for me.”
Tears leaked from Storm’s eyes and rolled back into his hair. He was overwhelmed. Life had been suffocating him for too long. His emotions choked him.
Barrett went still. “Do you want me to stop?”
Storm shook his head. He couldn’t make his throat work.
“Come here.” Barrett pulled out and settled on his back. He urged Storm to straddle him. “Take what you want.”
Storm sank onto Barrett’s cock and then claimed Barrett’s mouth. He needed his kisses. Storm needed his love. He rocked himself on Barrett’s erection, moving slowly. Barrett’s hands were everywhere, massaging and stroking. Storm made love to him. He never wanted to stop. If he stopped, Barrett might disappear. That was the one thing Storm couldn’t survive.
Barrett’s eyes burned. He hated Storm’s tears. Storm’s pain was slowly killing him. He desperately wanted to fix them, but he didn’t know how. Sex didn’t mean they were better. But Storm made love to him, and Barrett’s heart was a mess. His body burned. Storm knew him. They had never been with anyone other than each other and they had been together for damn near their entire lives. There was no Storm without Barrett. Equally, there was no Barrett without Storm. What happened to one, happened to both.
Their fingers linked.
Storm buried his face and took Barrett’s dick. “I love you, Bare. Damn. You feel so good inside me. I want to feel your cum drip from me.”
Barrett ground his back teeth. “I love you too, baby. Stop teasing me. I don’t know if I can hold out.”
At his words, Storm changed positions and bounced on Barrett’s dick. Barrett stared up at him. He tried to breathe. Storm was such a work of art. His large body was built to take a hit. Thick, muscular thighs kept him planted on the ice and turned Barrett on. The red hair that covered his body drove Barrett wild. His green eyes haunted Barrett’s every thought. He wasn’t wearing his lip ring today. That disappointed Barrett, but it wasn’t important. Storm was simply sexier than anyone else alive to Barrett. He was a sickness. Always had been. Barrett wanted to fill his ass with cum.
His body tensed. Barrett held his breath. He desperately wanted Storm to come first. “Please, Storm. I need to feel your orgasm.”
Storm grabbed his dick and pumped, jacking off while he rode Barrett. Barrett couldn’t look away from the way Storm’s hand worked his cock. God, he was better than porn.
Pressure climbed his shaft. He wouldn’t make it. Then Storm’s asshole tried breaking him and cum hit his chest. Cries filled the air. Barrett gasped as an orgasm tore through him. His body jerked. He sucked air as waves pumped from his balls, taking him to heaven. Storm fell forward. Their tongues played while they wheezed for air.
Barrett buried his fingers in Storm’s hair and hung on. He never wanted to move. When Storm rolled to his side, Barrett went with him. He didn’t want to break the intimacy they built. Storm kept his leg over Barrett’s hip, keeping him close. Barrett tried to get even closer while stealing more kisses. Only exhaustion had him finally settling down to hold Storm’s stare. Time passed. They never looked away from each other. Their fingers played.
Barrett needed Storm to understand this was how he intended to spend the rest of his life. “This move is permanent. I had a long talk with Dad. He understands you’re my first priority.”
“I’ve always liked him.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Barrett’s mouth. “He considers you a fourth son.” Barrett’s smile faltered. “That doesn’t mean I’m out. You know I’ll never be out.” He didn’t have to explain what he meant. Barrett was the youngest son of the head of the Italian mafia. He wasn’t allowed to walk away. People didn’t leave the family, especially blood.
Storm’s gaze never wavered. He didn’t flinch. “I knew what I was getting into when I fell in love with you.”
Barrett gave him a sharp nod. He knew Storm was strong. Maybe he was at the end of his rope right now, but Storm wasn’t weak. His dad loved Storm for a reason. He was one of them. With that out of the way, and Storm still not shutting him out, they had more that needed to be said.
“I should’ve manned up and talked to Dad sooner. You deserved that from me.”
Storm shook his head. “I should’ve told you what I planned before dropping it on you.”
Barrett brought Storm’s hand to his mouth and kissed his fingers. “I don’t understand how two people can be so in love and still have to fight so hard.”
Storm shrugged. His gaze slid away. Barrett practically felt his insecurity return. “I’m sorry I—” Storm paused and took a breath. “I still feel like you don’t want this. One day, you’ll resent me. You didn’t want to move.”
“Yes, I did.”
Storm’s gaze moved back his way.
Barrett pushed ahead. “I’ve been laying the groundwork with Dad since you left. He’s been setting up some things stateside, expanding business. Then when you signed with New Orleans, you had him. There are shipping yards here he can use to his advantage. When I showed up here four months ago, it was for good. I didn’t bring my stuff because I wasn’t sure you still wanted me full time. Then everything went wrong, and I decided I wouldn’t give you a choice. You’re mine, Storm. I won’t sit back and watch you destroy yourself. You’re not allowed to leave me.”
Storm’s gaze moved over his face, as if trying to decide if Barrett told the truth. Then his gaze met Barrett’s again and softened. “You can’t lose me. This body, heart, and soul has always been yours.” Storm swallowed again. “At the risk of pissing you off, I’m pretty sure I’ve proven I’m not okay without you. And I would never let anyone else touch me.” Storm’s voice cracked. “How dare you think I would?”
Barrett touched his forehead to Storm’s and squeezed his eyes shut. “You have no idea how much I hate myself for that. I don’t know what happened. You started feeling so far away. Every time I saw you, you accused me of not loving you. I started thinking too much, wondering if you were trying to pick fights to make it easier to be rid of me.” He opened his eyes and stared at Storm’s sexy eyes up close. “I don’t know, baby. I was scared I was losing you. But even as I pictured you cheating, I couldn’t let go. You’re supposed to be mine.” Barrett’s voice broke. With anyone else, he would have hated himself for that. Storm let him be soft. He let Barrett love. Storm was his safe place. His home. He wasn’t allowed to leave Barrett. Barrett couldn’t stress that enough. He was the one who would die if they stopped being a they. While Storm worried about his mental health, he had nothing on Barrett’s crazy. Barrett would burn the world for Storm. He had the connections. Hopefully, they never found out how far Barrett would go without him. No matter what, neither of them was going anywhere without the other ever again. Even in death, they would be a set.