Chapter Four

Murphy: Lunch was great. Thank you.

Lev: Thank you. It was lovely to spend an hour staring at such a beautiful man. I hope you let me do it again sometime.

Murphy: You're shameless.

Lev: You like it.

September

Lev: Your team looks like it'll do well again this season. They've looked hot in the preseason.

Murphy: I have high hopes.

October

Murphy: I caught your game last night. You looked amazing out there.

Lev: I assure you I'd look twice as amazing on your dick if you'd give me a chance.

Murphy: You're something else.

Lev: No. I'm yours. You just don't see it yet.

November

Lev: Everything hurts.

Murphy: Ice, then heat.

Lev: Come rub me instead. You can free me from my pain like rubbing a genie's lamp.

Murphy: *snort* The team plays in Phoenix next week. We'll have dinner. No rubbing.

Lev: I'll take what I can get. Maybe you change your mind afterward, huh?

December

Murphy: Merry Christmas. Did you get my gift?

Lev: I did. Thank you. Did you get mine?

Murphy: No. Hold on. Let me check. I haven't looked outside today.

Murphy: You got me a fucking iPad. That's too expensive.

Lev: It's so you can properly FaceTime me. I miss you. I don't have a family.

Murphy: That was low. Of course I'll FaceTime you. No need to guilt me.

Lev: Thank you. Merry Christmas.

January

Lev: Happy Birthday. How does it feel to be thirty-six?

Murphy: Old.

Lev: LOL! My present for you should arrive any minute.

Murphy: Okay.

Murphy: You did not buy me a goddamn motorcycle.

Lev: I wish I could've seen your face when it arrived.

Murphy: You're too much.

Lev: No. I'm not enough.

February

Murphy: Happy birthday! How does it feel to be twenty-six?

Lev: Closer to catching you in age. I got your gift. It's gorgeous. I'll never take it off.

Murphy: Please take it off while playing. I don't want you to get hurt because of a ridiculous necklace.

Lev: It's not ridiculous. It came from you.

March

Lev: I miss you.

Murphy: You can call anytime.

Murphy: And I miss you too.

April

Lev: Fair warning. I'm drunk. Why don't you want me the way I want you? It's hard to be half in your life.

Lev: Please ignore me.

Murphy: I never said I didn't want you.

Murphy: Please ignore me too.

May

Murphy: I got chosen to coach the sledge team for this year's Paralympics. Me. Can you believe it? I have to leave for Olympic City, which they set up in Colorado this year, but fuck. Me.

Lev: You earned it. I'm sad you're leaving, though. I'll be in New Orleans this summer. My contract is up and the Chuckers have shown interest.

Murphy: Damn. I can't believe I'll miss you being here.

Lev: Not if I sign with New Orleans.

Murphy: Phoenix will never let you get away. You're too amazing.

Lev: What will you do if I'm closer? You can't run anymore.

Murphy: Truthfully? I don't know.

June

Lev: I know you're busy. I've been keeping busy too. You probably don't remember, but when I was at youth camp, I became good friends with your assistant coach, Booker. It seems he's been dating that guy from your team who's with you for the Paralympics. He accused Booker of cheating with me. Booker is pretty upset. I'm keeping him with me until everything is settled.

Murphy: Good. Booker has a kind heart. I'll talk to Dash. Everything will be fine.

July

Lev: Are you doing the coaches/players' auction again?

Murphy: Unfortunately.

Lev: I'll buy you again.

Murphy: You don't have to do that.

Lev: Oh, I absolutely want to purchase a night of my dreams with you. I can't wait for you to get back from Paris. I can't tell you how fucking proud I am of you winning the bronze.

Murphy: Thanks. I can't wait to see you.

August

Lev: Are you going to Booker and Dash's wedding?

Murphy: I'm giving Booker away since his dad is a piece of shit.

Lev: I'm Booker's best man.

Murphy: So we'll be together again.

Lev: Will you run like you always do? The last time your team played in Phoenix, you left me after dinner with a hard-on and nearly crying… again. It's becoming a habit.

Murphy: I don't know. Sometimes, you're a little intense for me.

Lev: Oh. That's because I'm insane. I thought you knew.

Murphy: You're amazing.

Lev: I can be both. But in this case, I'm completely bat shit crazy about you. So maybe don't run this time.

Murphy: I miss you.

Lev: That's the first time you've said that first. I miss you too. See you soon.

Present day…

He was in a tux again. Damn. Murphy looked sexy as hell and uncomfortable. Lev wanted to peel away every inch of clothing and lick him from head to toe. More than anything, Lev's heart ached for Murphy. Murphy always watched him with the same hunger. Yet he wouldn't give Lev a real shot. They were friends. Maybe more. Lev was in love, and it was dumb as hell. More likely than not, Murphy would never meet him halfway. Damn. Lev ached for him. Murphy barely met his gaze. They hadn't said more than five words to each. He didn't understand why things were always so difficult in person. He couldn't understand why Murphy was so ashamed.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. It also felt like it took forever. He wanted to chase Murphy and force him to see him. But the longer he watched Booker and Dash openly loving each other, touching and kissing, the more Lev's chest hurt. The moment he could hit the cash bar, he ordered a straight vodka. People barely trickled into the ballroom where the reception was being held and Lev was already on his third drink.

"I hate to bother you, but could I get your autograph?"

Lev glanced behind him. A guy waited for his attention. He smiled and signed a napkin before posing for a picture. That led to four more selfies. Then Lev moved on to his fourth vodka. Murphy appeared at his side.

"Jack and Coke."

Lev's head whipped Murphy's way.

Murphy was busy patting his pockets. "Fuck. What happened to my wallet? Fucking penguin suit."

"I got you." Lev paid for Murphy's drink.

Murphy flashed him a smile. "Thanks, but I really need to find my wallet."

Lev passed him the drink. "We'll look together. Where was the last place you had it?"

They held eye contact for a moment too long. Lev almost said too much. Murphy shook his head. "Um. Maybe that tiny room where we waited with Booker earlier? If not, I might've left it in my truck."

Lev motioned toward the door. "Let's find it before your credit cards take a trip without you."

Murphy seemed as if he didn't want to look away. Lev hoped the alcohol wasn't playing with his mind, showing him what he wanted to see. As he followed Murphy back to the room where Murphy had fought so hard not to see him earlier, Lev's gaze dropped to Murphy's ass. God. Ten years of longing. Lev tossed back his drink and set the glass on the first flat surface he passed. Hunger grew with every step he took.

Murphy stepped inside the room. "Aha. Thank God."

Lev kicked the door closed behind him and overcame Murphy. He swiped the drink from Murphy's hand and downed it before setting the glass aside. Murphy looked like he planned to make a joke. Lev grabbed his jaw, holding him in place as his mouth came down on Murphy's hard. He didn't give Murphy time to think or turn him down again. He immediately went to work on Murphy's pants. Triumph soared through Lev as Murphy hardened in his hand. Lev dropped to his knees. He couldn't wait any longer. Murphy belonged to him. It was well past the time for Murphy to realize it. Murphy didn't understand. Lev didn't get on his knees for anyone. He would for Murphy. Fuck. He just needed Murphy to ache for him too.

Lev only managed one deep swallow before Murphy gently swept his hand through Lev's hair. His eyes stung at the sweetness of the moment as Murphy stroked his jaw, urging Lev to meet his stare.

"Not like this."

Lev's heart dropped. He almost lashed out from the pain slashing through him at another damn rejection.

"I want to make love to you properly."

Lev's breath stuttered from his lungs. He never thought Murphy would say those words to him. "I don't want you to run." Even Lev heard the neediness in his voice. He blamed the alcohol for showing his heart.

"I'm not running."

Lev came to his feet.

Murphy held his stare as he slowly lured Lev in for a kiss. Lev's heart beat so hard, he could barely breathe. He knew everything he felt had to be written on his face. Lev didn't care. It was the first time Murphy had initiated a kiss. When their lips met, Lev's knees weakened. Their kiss started sweet but turned heated almost immediately.

Murphy pulled away and took Lev's hand. "Let's go." He headed for the door with Lev in tow. Murphy stuck his head out the door and looked right and left before darting into a hallway likely meant for employees. He held his pants up with one hand while dragging Lev behind him. Lev felt like a predator watching his prey as they maneuvered the back hallways. His focus was set on Murphy like a laser.

Finally, they came to a door and Murphy dropped his hand. It wasn't until the door opened that Lev realized it was Murphy's room for the night.

Murphy flashed him a smile over his shoulder. "I'd planned to get shitfaced tonight. I didn't want to drive home."

Lev gave a jerky nod. He couldn't speak.

Murphy's smile faltered as he lured Lev into the room. "And maybe I hoped we'd end up just like this."

That was all Lev needed to hear. He slammed the door behind him and tackled Murphy. Once he had Murphy off his feet, Lev took him down on the mattress. He tore at Murphy's clothes as he explored his mouth. It was the only time in his life he wanted someone so badly he thought he might come before he sat on a dick.

Murphy came at him just as hard. He bit Lev's bottom lip, making his cock weep. Lev tore open his wallet, hunting for a packet of lube. Murphy did the same, pulling out a condom. The second they were ready, and Lev positioned himself over Murphy's cock, they froze. Their gazes met and held. The air changed. Lev sank onto Murphy's dick. He held his breath as Murphy lured him down for a kiss. It was so sweet, Lev's throat swelled. He rocked as their tongues played. The moment was so much better than every fantasy because it was real. As a teen, he had lain awake too many nights to count, dreaming. Back then, he had known they couldn't really be together. Not the way he wanted. That deep longing hadn't subsided. Since they reconnected a year ago, that youthful lust had transformed into something monstrous. It scratched at the back of Lev's brain twenty-four-seven. This night couldn't be long enough. He never wanted to see the morning.

Murphy rolled, taking Lev beneath him. He held Lev's leg while he moved inside him. Lev couldn't look away. He couldn't vocalize the obsession. The insanity. The way he would wreck his entire life to be with Murphy. The pressure climbing from his balls and up his cock matched the tension building in his chest. Murphy fucked him in more than one way. Lev's mind was a complete mess.

"Look at me." At his plea, Murphy lifted his chin, going from staring at the way their bodies connected to holding Lev's stare. The moment their gazes collided, Lev blew.

"Oh, fuck." Murphy shifted positions, jack-hammering inside Lev. "You're going to break me. Shit, Lev."

Lev saw stars at the sound of his name on Murphy's lips in the perfect tone. A moan tore from him. He needed more time. Lev didn't want to stop. Then Murphy came and Lev realized he wanted that. Needed it. The bliss on Murphy's face was because of him.

Murphy claimed Lev's mouth, lazily swiping his tongue across Lev's. Lev's arms encircled him. He held on as tightly as he could. Lev didn't know what would happen next. All he knew was he couldn't let Murphy slip away.

Sweat cooled on their skin as Murphy held Lev. He floated on cloud nine while also being scared shitless. Lev was ten years younger than him. He was famous and lived more than a thousand miles away. In no world did they work. Lev wouldn't be faithful, and Murphy knew himself enough to know he didn't want to live like that. For all those reasons, he hadn't pursued this. He had tried to just be friends. They were never just friends. There was no outcome where he didn't get hurt.

"Can you keep a secret?"

Murphy smiled into the dark at Lev's whispered question. "For you? Yes."

He felt Lev smile against his chest. "I signed with the Chuckers."

Shock had Murphy's brain skipping several beats. "What? When? Phoenix actually let the Chuckers outbid them? You're their star player. What were they thinking?"

"You sound disappointed."

Murphy searched his heart. Was he? Selfishly, he loved that Lev would be playing for the pro division of his namesake team, but at what cost? "I'm just thinking of you. Phoenix has been your team since you were picked up almost ten years ago. That's a long time. Surely you've made friends with all the guys you'll have to play against now."

He felt Lev shrug. "I have friends here too. Are you not happy to see me more?"

Murphy deflated. His heart ached for Lev, but it was obvious Lev needed his support. "Of course I'm happy. I'm just thinking about your future. This is a huge change. I want you to be happy."

"I've had several months to think. This is good choice."

Murphy couldn't let it go. He needed to know Lev had considered every angle. "Have you put your house on the market? Have you found a place to live here? This is a lot. Tell me how I can help."

A sexy chuckle rumbled through the room. Lev went up onto one elbow. He took Murphy's hand and led it to his cock. "Help me, then. I stay hard for you. For once, you're not too far away to fix it."

Damn. He would be the death of Murphy. But Murphy wouldn't go out without Lev remembering him forever. Murphy moved, pushing Lev onto his back before slithering down his body. He kissed the sexy abs that taunted him with fantasies he couldn't shake.

"I must have you."

"You do," Murphy reminded him as he licked Lev's crown.

Lev sucked in a hiss. "No. You must be Lev's. I can't think of the word right now with your lips on my d—" A deep moan cut off his words as Murphy swallowed his cock.

Murphy got into it. He loved the sound of Lev's struggles. While he played with Lev's balls, he took Lev down his throat. He didn't stop until Lev's whimpers turned to cries and cum filled his mouth. Before he had time to decide if he would spit or swallow, Murphy was ripped away and beneath Lev. Lev kissed him, licking his cum from Murphy's mouth. Every time Murphy thought he couldn't be more turned on by Lev, Lev took him to another level.

Lev's fingers encircled Murphy's erection. He tugged. "You're mine," he whispered against Murphy's lips. "Only mine. Understood?"

Murphy nodded as Lev moved to suck his neck. Lev bit him. "Say the words."

"Only yours." Murphy had no idea why he agreed other than he couldn't say no. Lev owned him at that moment. He played Murphy's body like a master—like he had practiced just for Murphy. The thought had him ready to blow. Lev took him over the edge so fast, Murphy couldn't breathe. As the ecstasy ripped through his veins, Murphy had a perfect moment of clarity. Lev had practiced to be his and Murphy had been waiting to have him.