Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

EDEN

"Thank you for agreeing to meet me for lunch." I sank into the chair opposite my mother. My nerves were as frayed as hell. I thought she'd refuse to see me, or decide not to show up. Now she was here, I was worried she was going to get up and leave.

Yes, I'd lain awake at night thinking about all of these scenarios much more than I probably should have.

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked, as though the answer was obvious. "You're my daughter, Eden. In spite of everything, I do love you."

I bit back the urge to go on the defensive. That wouldn't help. Right now, I needed to be calm and rational. Just like I would have told my best friends to be if they were in my situation.

"I love you too, Mum." I grabbed up the napkin from beside my plate, flicked it out and laid it across my lap. I picked up the menu and looked at it without seeing anything.

I'd been in here often enough that I knew exactly what I wanted to eat. Not that I had much appetite right now.

"I see you didn't bring Brock or any of the others with you." She looked around me, and around the small restaurant.

"Mitch, Jagger and Kage are at training," I said. "Brock is outside somewhere, hovering."

There was no way he was going to let me come here alone. Not after the other day. He wasn't happy about me being here at all, but he supported my attempt to make amends with her. He, like the other guys, didn't want to see me hurt again.

Neither did I, if I was honest with myself. All of the big feelings I'd been processing since the last conversation with my mother had weighed heavily on my mind. Her words kept replaying around and around. Like a video stuck on replay.

She made an indeterminate noise in the back of her throat and pretended to be interested in her own menu.

Finally, I put mine aside and placed my arms on the table in front of me. I leaned forward and looked her right in the eyes.

"I know finding out about Brock and me was a shock," I started. "It wasn't meant to happen that way."

She put down her own menu and mirrored my pose. "How was it supposed to happen?"

"Not like that," I said. "We would have told you. It was never my intention to keep any secrets from you."

"It seemed to be his intention," she said bitterly. "He kept secrets from the start."

"I know they must have hurt," I said. "If someone told me they were only with me to get closer to someone else, I'd be devastated."

That had to feel like a stab right through the heart.

"He used me," she said bluntly. "He used me to get to my daughter. And now my own daughter is telling me she's all right with that and wants to be with him?"

"It's not all right that he used to you," I said, forcing my voice not to waver. "He should have been honest with you. He should have told you exactly what he felt."

I shook my head. "None of us can undo that now. It sucked, but it's in the past. All I want to do is move forward, and I want that for you too. I want you to be happy with John and not hate me, or Brock, for what happened so long ago."

"I could never hate you." Her eyes shone. "I'm sorry about the things I said. I was caught off guard and I bit back. I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't you I was angry at. It was myself."

I cocked my head at her. "Yourself? I don't understand."

She sighed and picked up her glass of water from beside her plate to take a sip. "I knew he wasn't in love with me. I knew and I didn't walk away. I hoped I could change him. That I could make him fall in love with me. I knew there was no chance of that happening. Eventually I realised that and…I gave up on him. On us." She placed her glass down and stared into it.

"I think I always knew it was you he wanted," she whispered. "I should have confronted him. If I had, it would have saved all of us a lot of heartache and pain." She chewed her lip.

"I used to see the way he looked at you and it drove me crazy. Because all I wanted was for him to look at me that way. But how could I blame him? I have the best, most beautiful daughter in the entire world. How could anyone not fall head over heels in love with you?"

My face heated. "You knew he cared about me?"

She hesitated for a long moment before saying, "I guessed. I used to wonder what you did to make him feel that way about you, but I realised you did absolutely nothing. All you had to do was be sweet, smart and charming, and he'd be eating out of your hand. Nothing I could do would change the fact that I'm not you. As soon as I realised that, I turned away from him. I found a man who wanted me, and looked at me the same way Brock looked at you. And I cheated, because I thought maybe it would upset him. It was my way of getting back at him for not loving me. Every illicit moment felt like… Revenge. In the end, the only person I was hurting was myself. Sometimes I think I don't deserve John."

"He was happy to sleep with a married woman," I pointed out. I closed my mouth and pressed my lips together. I shouldn't have said that, but it was the truth.

Fortunately, she didn't seem angry at me for pointing that out.

"He was there for me when I needed him," she said. "Don't blame him for my shortcomings."

"I don't," I said quickly. Her shortcomings were her own. I wasn't going to put them on him. He seemed sweet and as far as I could tell, he genuinely loved her. If their start wasn't necessarily perfect…well, neither was mine and Brock's. The messy start didn't matter so much; in the end. It was what we did from here on that mattered.

"Do you think you can bring yourself to support me being with Brock and my other guys?" I asked carefully.

"Can I stop you?" she asked with a laugh.

"As it happens, no," I said. "But I'd rather do life with you on my side, than argue with you."

She leaned over and put her hand on mine. "I want that too. I'm sorry for the things I said. They were inexcusable. I wouldn't have been surprised if you decided never to talk to me again."

"Since Dad left, it's been you and me against the world," I said. "I still want us to be like that. I want you to be in my life."

"I'm glad you do." She glanced down at her plate, then back again. "You might have to give me some time to get used to it, but I support you and Brock being together. Because I know that's what both of you really want. And all I want for you is for all of your dreams to come true."

I placed my hand over hers. "That's what I want for you too."

She smiled. "So tell me about this having four boyfriends stuff. How does it work?"

"Are you looking to add to your relationship?" I asked. "Does John know?"

She gave me a sideways look and a half shrug. "I like to keep him on his toes. Besides, I came to town to tell you something."

"You're not pregnant, are you?" I asked. I'd support her if she was, but the idea of a baby sibling would also take time to get used to.

She snorted. "Of course not. But John and I have a girlfriend and she's pregnant. I wouldn't be opposed to exploring other possibilities. After all, life is too short not to get everything you want."

"That's for sure," I said.

Her news was going to take me a day or so to wrap my head around. I had no idea my mother had a third person in her relationship, but I was happy for them. The baby would be a stepsibling of sorts. They'd certainly grow up with lots, and lots of family and lots of love.

I was happy for them. A person couldn't get too much love.