Chapter Six

A black mood followed Dash so hard, he couldn't focus. Between the shit with Booker and his lagging performance, he was on the verge of costing the U.S. any shot at a medal. Booker still wouldn't answer his calls. Dash imagined he had blocked his number by now. Everything looked ugly as hell. He'd had too much time to think. Now he wasn't sure about anything. He watched the practice after theirs to keep from going back to the hotel to be with his ugly mind. Dash didn't see a thing.

"So, do you want to tell me what's going on? Did Booker dump you or something?"

Dash's head whipped in Murphy's direction so fast, he nearly pulled a muscle. He hadn't even seen the blond, too-confident coach approach. Dash definitely hadn't known Murphy knew about his relationship with Booker.

Murphy laughed. His dark blue eyes danced with good humor. "Don't look so surprised. You two aren't that subtle."

Dash went back to staring at the ice. He didn't feel like being judged today. Dash also couldn't keep sitting with all the thoughts clogging his head. If he did, he might really fail at this Olympics thing. "He's sleeping with Lev behind my back."

"Medvedkov?"

"That's the one." Even Dash heard how dead his voice had become.

Murphy snorted so hard, it had to hurt. "Booker is not sleeping with Lev Medvedkov."

Dash looked back Murphy's way. "How would you know?"

A wry smile twisted Murphy's lips. "You should just trust that I know. Besides, the two went to hockey camp together as teens." Murphy made a humming sound. "I don't know how to be delicate about the situation. They both want the same things from a relationship and that means they can't give it to each other. They're incompatible."

Dash had a feeling he knew what Murphy meant. He just hoped he was wrong because that was a very personal detail about two people he definitely shouldn't know. "And you know this how?" Dash had to know.

Murphy held his stare. His expression went completely serious. "You should just trust that I know."

Damn. Murphy had slept with one of them or was a very close friend. Since Booker clearly thought of Murphy as a father figure, that left Lev.

Dash cleared his throat and swiped his palms on his jeans. It seemed Booker was innocent, and all of Dash's worst fears were true. He was an insecure asshole who had just been waiting for Booker to find someone better.

"What do you know about Booker's dad?" Dash had no idea why he asked. He had just been thinking too much about the voicemail Booker had left him that night. It was obvious he had been extremely upset. Dash had berated himself for not being there and giving Booker the chance to turn to someone else. He hated the idea of Lev knowing something he didn't.

Murphy sighed, then rubbed his chin. "Ole Mike. I don't miss that bastard. He would come around sometimes during amateur league. They used to have practice right before us. Anyhow, he would stand around with the coaches while Booker changed. He always stole that chance to ask us if Booker was showing any progress whatsoever at being more manly. The guy suggested we should let him take more hits to toughen him up and ‘knock the sinner out of him.' His words. Not mine. He didn't know I wasn't one of Booker's coaches. I stuck around for his bullshit so I could decide if I needed to intercede. That's why I made it a point to stay close to Booker when he would stay late to watch our practice. I knew why he didn't want to go home. That guy is a mean bastard." Murphy shook his head. "Too many times to count, I wondered if I should call CPS or something, but I didn't have any proof. Just a gut feeling he went home to something ugly, you know?"

Dash's chest hurt. Lev had gone to hockey camp with Booker. Booker said they were friends. No doubt Lev knew all this, and it made perfect sense for Booker to turn to him when Dash wasn't available.

"I think I really fucked up a good thing."

Murphy patted his arm and stood. "I doubt that. If you try, he'll forgive you. That boy has spent way too long mooning over you to lose you over a misunderstanding. I mean, he's put up with Mike's shit all these years. One fight won't break y'all."

Dash hoped Murphy was right. Now, he just had to win these games so he could get home to his man. He had a lot to fix.

It felt strange having the people he loved the most blocked from his life. In one swoop, everyone had been cut from him. Lev would never know how much Booker appreciated not being alone. It was nice to have someone sitting at his kitchen table sharing breakfast while Booker died inside.

"Do you remember when we were at youth-league camp and Murphy volunteered for a week? You had the biggest crush on him."

Lev looked up from his phone at Booker's question. "You have random thoughts."

A sad smile pulled at Booker's lips. "I thought you were crazy because he was old. Now I realize he was only twenty-six back then. Ten years older than us. Now we're twenty-six and I feel old as hell."

Lev chuckled. It was a low rumble that warmed Booker's chest. "Older men are sexy. With age comes experience." Before Booker could get a word in, Lev changed the subject. "You should try for a head coach job. You know enough and are good enough to run your own team."

That was nice. Most people didn't recognize his work. "I'd have to move states."

Lev held his stare with gorgeous green eyes. "Is there something keeping you here?"

The blow landed so hard, Booker lost his breath. He sucked in another, but it was like nothing happened. Booker kept fighting for air, but he felt like he was drowning. Lev was right. He had nothing left. No family. No one loved him. It was possible no one ever had. If Dash loved him, he would have believed Booker. If his dad loved him, he would just fucking love him. He had nothing left.

Lev jumped from his chair and plucked Booker from his seat. He easily carried Booker to the couch and sat, holding him. Lev pressed his lips against Booker's forehead. He made soothing noises while Booker fought the panic.

"It's okay. I've got you. We'll do this together. Just breathe."

Booker sucked a breath in through his nose. His mind cleared a hair. Booker closed his eyes and focused on the sound of Lev's voice.

"You're not alone in this world. I know I've been self-absorbed for a while, but you never lost me. I would never let you be alone."

It felt good in Lev's arms. They would never be together. Neither of them was interested in each other in that way, but Lev was right. Booker wasn't alone. He also didn't have to stay here. Booker had the skills to start a life somewhere else. Maybe that was for the best. He could cut all the people who hurt him completely from his life, breaking their access to keep hurting him. Maybe that was exactly what he would do.