19. Sydney

CHAPTER 19

SYDNEY

The tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee hits my nose, urging me awake. I blink open my eyes to see DJ's chiseled face gazing down at me, a steaming mug in his tattooed hands.

"Rise and shine, gorgeous," he says with a crooked smile that makes my heart stutter.

I sit up and gratefully take the mug, the heat seeping into my hands.

"You're a lifesaver," I say. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Early. I wanted to catch you before I had to head out. Game day." He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. "Sleep okay?"

"Mmm, very okay, thanks to a certain someone wearing me out last night," I tease, sipping the deliciously strong brew.

I don't know what I did to deserve to wake up to this perfect man bringing me coffee in bed, but I'm not questioning it.

"That's what I like to hear." DJ flashes a smug grin before flopping down next to me, careful to avoid jostling my mug.

Leaning back against the headboard he casually drapes an arm around my shoulders and I nestle instinctively into his side. His large, solid presence makes me feel warm and protected.

Cherished.

God, am I in trouble .

"Any big plans for today?" he asks, idly running his fingertips up and down my arm and raising goosebumps in their wake.

"Oh you know, the usual—catching up on paperwork, making sure the team has what they need to succeed, that sexy counselor life. If I've got the time, maybe a quick yoga class online before work." I snuggle against him, reveling in his earthy, masculine scent.

DJ chuckles. "Yoga, huh? Don't go getting too flexible without me."

"No promises. A girl's gotta stay limber." I wink at him over the rim of my mug.

"Is that so?" DJ plucks the coffee from my hands and sets it on the nightstand. Then he's rolling me beneath him, his athlete's body flexing as he cages me in. "Let's test that limberness some more, shall we?"

I loop my arms around his neck, drinking in his playful brown eyes and roguish smile. "I thought you had to get to game prep, hotshot?"

"I've got a few minutes." He ducks his head and brushes his lips over the sensitive spot beneath my ear, making me shiver. "Besides, I'm the two-time MVP. They'll wait for me."

I'm about to give in, leaning in for a kiss when DJ says thoughtfully, "I hope everything's okay with Tyler."

"With—what?" The change in subject leaves me reeling.

"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you. He and I were going to tackle all that sushi last night, that's why I ordered so much. But he had some kind of family emergency." DJ's voice is tender, his eyes concerned. "I hope everything worked out okay."

Wait—Tyler was coming here? To DJ's apartment? Those were the plans that fell through last night?

My heart plummets into my stomach as the realization dawns: there's more between DJ and Tyler than I realized. Flirting and attraction, that's one thing, but it sounds like they're actually exploring a relationship—that Tyler's letting himself explore his attraction, which is a huge step.

Guilt crashes over me in unrelenting waves.

Oh god, what have I done?

Tyler trusted me, opened up to me about his feelings for DJ. The thought of him finding out about me and DJ, seeing it as the ultimate betrayal...it makes me physically ill.

"I...I have to go," I stammer, scrambling to my feet and fumbling for my clothes from last night. "I just remembered...an appointment. I totally forgot."

DJ frowns, rising to follow me to the door as I pull my cotton dress over my head with an unsteady jerk.

"Now? Are you sure?" He reaches for my hand but I yank it away.

"No, I really need to go. I'm sorry. This was...I shouldn't have..." The words stick in my throat. I flee for the door.

"Sydney, wait!" DJ calls after me, his voice laced with confusion. "Did I say something wrong? What's going on?"

But I'm already out the door, blinking back the hot tears pricking at my eyes. As I race down the hall, a silent vow echoes in my mind: Never again.

I'll never let myself be so weak, so selfish again. DJ and Tyler both deserve better than this.

Better than me.

I try to sneak into the apartment quietly, hoping Selena is either still asleep or already on her way to work, but of course her voice rings out from the living room as soon as the door clicks shut.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in!" She's sprawled on the couch in her favorite pink pajamas, a huge bowl of Lucky Charms balanced on her lap. The TV is paused on the opening credits of a housewives reality show. "And where have you been?"

I wince, guilt chewing at my insides. I was really hoping to avoid this conversation.

What kind of sister does that make me, that I don't want to tell Selena the details of my life? But I barely want to admit to myself what I've done…

Sighing, I trudge over and collapse on the other end of the couch. "Morning. Thought you had work today?"

I reach over and steal a marshmallow from her cereal.

"Nope, day off! And just in time to catch you doing the walk of shame, it seems." She lifts her brows questioningly, her eyes dancing with delight. "Soooo, who's the lucky guy? Spill!"

"No one. I was just...out." I avoid her probing gaze, focusing intently on picking at a loose thread on the couch cushion.

"Uh huh, sure. And I'm the Queen of England." Selena rolls her eyes. "Come on Syd, we used to tell each other everything! What happened to twin telepathy?"

"Pretty sure that's not a real thing."

I force a chuckle, but it comes out strained. And just like that, awkwardness hangs thick in the air between us.

Things still aren't back to normal after everything with Paul, the way I basically ghosted her for years, barely returning her texts. Paul always told me Selena was controlling and overbearing, that I needed to get out from under the burden of my twin-sister identity and fend for myself.

Took me far too long to realize Selena wasn't the controlling one.

I clear my throat, hating the distance between us but unsure how to fix it.

"Anyway, it's nothing serious," I tell her. "Just blowing off some steam."

"If you say so..." She looks unconvinced but lets it drop with a shrug, unpausing her show. "Guess I'll have to live vicariously through Teresa's screaming matches instead."

I let out the breath I was holding, waiting for relief that I successfully avoided the conversation.

But as the moment to confide in Selena slips away, regret instantly washes over me. Can I do anything right?

"Well, I better get ready for work," I say, forcing a smile. "Duty calls."

"Okay, have a good day, sis," Selena replies, studying me with a hint of concern in her eyes. She can probably sense something is off, but thankfully doesn't press the issue.

I head to the bathroom and crank the shower as hot as it will go, desperate to scald away the guilt clinging to every inch of skin DJ's hands caressed last night. As the steaming spray hits my face, I squeeze my eyes shut.

What the hell am I doing?

Hooking up with one of the players— twice —is beyond unprofessional. Plus I totally betrayed Tyler's trust. I was the one encouraging him to explore his attraction to DJ. And now I'm sleeping with DJ behind his back?!

Enough, Sydney. Focus on work. This team is counting on you. No more slip-ups.

Easier said than done when my treacherous body still tingles with the memory of DJ's touch. I vigorously shampoo my hair, trying to wash him from my thoughts.

Needless to say, it doesn't work.