16. Tyler

CHAPTER 16

TYLER

My pulse pounds in my ears as I weave through the Chicago traffic, visions of DJ dancing through my head. His smoky eyes, that sexy smirk, the way his body moves on the ice - and how it might move against mine...

I shift in my seat, jeans tightening. I can't believe this is finally happening, that I'm letting myself go there with him.

I imagine DJ answering the door shirtless, tattoos on full display. Running my hands over his chest, his abs. His lips on my neck, hands roaming lower. Tumbling into bed, a tangle of limbs and sheets.

I'm so lost in the fantasy I almost miss the turn onto his block.

Just as I pull up in front of his building, my phone starts buzzing. It's my sister Leah. I hesitate, finger hovering over the screen, then sigh and pick up.

"Hey sis, what's?—"

"Tyler?" Her normally perky voice wobbles. "I'm so sorry to bother you, I just...I didn't know who else to call."

My stomach clenches at her tone. "Leah, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

She lets out a shuddery breath. "Not really. Nate and I had a huge fight. He stormed out and I'm just sitting here crying and...ugh, I'm a mess. I know you're probably busy, but is there any way you could come over? I really need my brother right now."

Disappointment and then guilt twists through me as I glance up at DJ's window.

"Of course, Leah. I'm on my way, just sit tight."

I disconnect the call and thunk my head back against the headrest, a frustrated sigh escaping my lips. I was so close . But Leah needs me, and she's always been there for me.

No matter how badly I want DJ, my sister comes first.

I fire off a quick text to him before pulling away from the curb.

"Hey, I'm so sorry but something came up with my sister and I have to go be with her. Family emergency. Rain check on tonight? I'll make it up to you, promise."

The reply comes seconds later.

"No worries man, family first. Hope she's alright. Let me know if you need anything."

Disappointment sits heavy in my chest, but I know I'm doing the right thing. I navigate on autopilot to Leah's, my mind no longer filled with thoughts of DJ, but worry for my older sister.

Since I can remember Leah's been my rock in the family, always looking out for me. I used to love hanging with her and her husband and their crazy poodle mix, Bananas. It's still great to see Bananas but lately, spending time with them has felt like navigating a minefield thanks to the constant tension between her and Nate.

Just two weeks ago, we were all out having dinner to celebrate Leah's promotion at work. But instead of congratulating her on her accomplishment, Nate griped about her long hours the whole time.

"I don't know why you even need this job, I make plenty for both of us," blah blah blah.

It ruined the night; Leah didn't even eat anything at her favorite restaurant, just pushed the food around her plate.

Then last weekend, I went to their place to watch the football game. Leah came in from running errands and Nate immediately started in on her.

"I thought you said you'd be home an hour ago to make snacks. Guess hanging with your work friends is more important than your own husband, huh?"

The words were bad enough but his tone, dripping with accusation—it pissed me off. And obviously Leah too, though she just muttered an apology before escaping to the kitchen.

I grip the steering wheel tighter, my stomach twisting at the memories.

This isn't the Leah and Nate I know - the cutesy high school sweethearts who used to be downright nauseating with their PDA. These days, it seems like they can barely stand each other.

Thirty minutes later, I'm pulling into her driveway, noting the absence of Nate's car. I take a deep breath and head for the front door, readying myself to be the supportive big little brother she needs, shoving down my own selfish wants for the night. Duty calls.

Leah's silky hair brushes against my neck as her head drops onto my shoulder. She lets out a shuddering sigh, sniffling softly. A wave of fierce protectiveness surges through me. As the baby of the family, I'm used to Leah taking care of me, not the other way around.

It's good to return the favor, finally.

"What happened, sis?" I murmur, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Talk to me."

Leah takes a shaky breath.

"It was so stupid. Nate made some offhand comment about how I've let myself go since the wedding. Said my ass is getting flabby." She rolls her teary eyes. "I snapped back that maybe he should spend less time staring at other women's asses and more time appreciating his wife. It escalated from there into this whole blowout fight."

I frown defensively. "Dick move."

Nate's usually a decent guy, but he definitely has his moments of assholery.

"I just..." Leah's voice cracks. "What if he's not attracted to me anymore, Ty? What if this is the beginning of the end? We've only been married three years, and it already feels like we're unraveling."

"What if he's not attracted to you anymore?" I repeat incredulously, my protectiveness turning into frustration. "Come on, Leah. Nate is a shallow idiot sometimes, but he loves you. No matter what. You know that."

Leah shrugs and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I just...I don't know. Maybe we should never have gotten married."

I shake my head, refusing to let her spiral down this rabbit hole of self-doubt.

"Don't even go there, Leah. You guys have been through so much together. Remember high school? College? All those stupid breakups and makeups? This is just a rough patch. You'll get through it. You just need to talk to Nate, explain how he's making you feel—I'm sure he'll shape up. And if he doesn't, I'll kick his ass."

She nods slowly, sniffling again.

"You're right," she says quietly, leaning into me for comfort.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before I break the peace with a question that's been nagging at me since I arrived. "So where is Nate, anyway?"

Leah pulls away from me and looks down at her hands, fidgeting with her wedding ring.

"He went out with his work friends," she mumbles.

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise and concern. Since when does Nate have work friends? In all the years I've known him, he's always been a total loner when it comes to his job.

"Work friends?" I ask skeptically.

Leah shrugs again noncommittally, focusing on her mug of tea.

"Yeah, they're new coworkers or something."

I narrow my eyes suspiciously but decide not to push it for now.

"Well, let's try to relax and enjoy our night in then," I say with forced enthusiasm, hoping to cheer Leah up.

She manages a small smile and looks at me with watery eyes.

"Thanks for listening, Ty. I didn't realize how badly I needed to get that off my chest."

I squeeze her hand. "Anytime, sis. I'm always here if you need to vent. Or cry on my manly shoulder." I flex jokingly.

Leah snorts out a half-laugh and swats my arm.

"Dork." But I can see the gratitude shining in her eyes. Knowing I could make her feel even a tiny bit better fills me with warmth.

And suddenly, I realize I might be ready to get my own burden off my chest.

My heart pounds in my ears as I nervously clench my fists, steeling myself for a conversation I've been putting off.

I glance over at my sister. Her tears are gone, and she's looking at me with knowing eyes, as if she can sense the words I'm struggling to form.

I take a deep, shaky breath.

"Leah, there's something I need to tell you." My voice trembles.

She sets down her mug, giving me her full attention. "What's up, Ty?"

"I..." My palms are sweaty. I wipe them on my jeans. "I think I'm bi. Bisexual, I mean."

I freeze— I think that's the first time I've said the word out loud.

Leah's eyebrows rise but she stays quiet, letting me continue. The warmth in her eyes gives me confidence and suddenly the words are tumbling out in a jumbled rush.

"There's this guy on the team…I mean, I've always felt this attraction to guys too, not just girls. But with DJ...the way he makes me feel, it's intense. Unavoidable. I don't know how to explain it; I've never experienced anything like it before."

I rake a hand through my hair, hot and frazzled, and Sydney's face inexplicably pops into my mind.

"But I'm still into girls too! I'm so confused..."

My leg bounces anxiously under the table. What in the rambling hell am I talking about? Leah sees my consternation and reaches over to squeeze my hand. Her touch is gentle and reassuring.

"Tyler, breathe. It's okay," she soothes, smiling. "There's nothing wrong with being bi. I'm so proud of you for telling me."

I blink back the sudden wetness in my eyes.

"You are? I was so scared you'd think I was...I don't know. A freak or something."

"Never," Leah says firmly. "You're my brother and I love you, no matter what. I just want you to be happy. To be yourself."

A lump rises in my throat. "Thanks, sis. You have no idea how much that means to me. But…don't tell Steven, yet, okay? I'm not sure…"

I trail off, my voice catching with unspoken fears of rejection. Our brother…he's not as understanding as Leah. Leah nods immediately, understanding my hesitation.

"Of course, Ty. Your truth is safe with me until you're ready to share it with anyone else," she promises firmly, squeezing my hand again for emphasis.

Relief washes over me, mingled with a newfound sense of freedom. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't even realized how heavily hiding this part of myself had been holding me down.

Leah's eyes soften as she looks at me, her features etched with loving concern. "So, this thing with DJ…is it serious? I mean, do you think it might go somewhere?"

I shrug, a small smile playing on my lips despite my inner turmoil.

"Maybe? I don't know. We're just...seeing where things go right now." My smile fades a bit as I add, "It's complicated, since we're teammates. And he's…well, he's a lot more experienced than I am, if you know what I mean."

I blush. Why does he make me feel like I'm a teenager again? I've got goddamn butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him .

Leah chuckles softly, her face brightening up with a mix of amusement and understanding.

"Oh, I see! The notorious DJ." She teases gently, nudging my foot under the table. "Just remember, it's all about communication, Ty. It doesn't matter how experienced or inexperienced someone is, if you're not on the same page, things can get messy."

I nod, absorbing her words with slight trepidation. Communication has never been my strong suit in relationships. Maybe that's why they rarely lasted long or ended well.

"You're right," I admit begrudgingly. "And I guess I want to be sure about whatever's going on with DJ before I get too deep into it."

The conversation shifts as we dive into lighter topics—movies we want to watch, vacation plans, and Leah's new recipe experiments. But through it all, I'm only half-present; my thoughts keep drifting back to DJ.

Is this just a fling for him? He's notorious for moving on from one lover to the next, and open with the team about not being monogamous. Should I just assume whatever's going on is purely physical?

I chide myself internally—wasn't I just saying that I wanted to take things slow? It shouldn't matter to me whether DJ sees this as serious or not, not if I don't even know what I want.

So why does it feel like my heart is sinking?