5. Jolie

five

Jolie

T he morning after living out my fantasy was worse than I could imagine when I woke up alone in the giant bed with the lingering remnants of our lovemaking clinging to my body—I felt empty, knowing I'd never feel the way they made me feel ever again.

Now that it's time to return to reality, a deep sadness settles over my body as I pack my suitcase. I didn't realize It would feel like this.

My phone buzzes, pulling me out of my thoughts. I pick it up and see it's Anna Marie calling me, "Hey, Anna Marie. What's up?" I say with as much fake happiness as I can muster.

"I'm glad I caught you. When are you planning on coming home?"

"As soon as I'm done packing. I think I've had enough alone time to last me a lifetime." I tease when I know deep down it's true.

This morning was a wake-up call. I'm going to be the best intern the Minnesota Norse have ever seen. I'll find the perfect guy, get married, have a ton of kids, and forget I ever met Cooper, Sam, and Tate.

It's the perfect plan until I remember I begged them to take me raw without the barrier of a condom between us. I'm on the pill, but even that isn't one hundred percent foolproof.

I place a hand on my stomach and dream about a dark-haired little boy—a little boy who will never know his fathers. I hold back the tears until I can end the call with Anna Marie after agreeing to meet her at our favorite bakery downtown.

It isn't until three weeks later that my dream is shattered by the start of my monthly cycle, and I cry until I'm all cried out over a dark-haired little baby boy that never was.