5. Goodbye Secret

Goodbye Secret

Macie

N ot really dressing it up tonight, I am supposed to be supervising, not participating, well not like I would want to. I figure out what I want to wear, throwing on some jeans, making sure to grab the pair that suits my ass perfectly, before I throw on a tank top, slip my heels on, beanie on my head, and I make my way out my bedroom and downstairs.

"Where are you going sweetheart?" My mothers voice causes me to join her in the kitchen.

"Back to the rink, I have to supervise club night."

"Oh, fun." She says in her chipper voice, because it means I'm getting on the ice, where she wants me.

"Yeah, I guess." I respond with my sighed words as Jax and Dakota walk into the kitchen.

"Are you guys going too?" My mom asks them, and they both answer her and now Paul is in the kitchen.

"Oh look, the whole family together." My mom giggles and I want to laugh at my humorous mind, but I hold it in.

"Since you are all here, I wanted to ask you something." We all hold our gazes on her, and I prepare for what my mother is about to say, "I was hoping we could all go on a family vacation. "

I try so hard to avoid looking up at Jax, feeling his eyes burn into the side of my head, but I do it anyways and our eyes meet, "Family" Whispers from my lips and he chokes on his laugh.

"We can leave after the game tomorrow night." Paul says and I shake my head with my words, "I have to work tomorrow night."

"Call out tomorrow night. I wish you would just quit that department store job. You're too sweet for that." Jax snorts before covering his smile with his hand, and my lips roll between my teeth, biting my smile with her comment.

Paul clears his throat causing me to look over at him and he looks like he is about to burst into laughter, like he knows something. It causes my eyes to snap up at Jax, and he loses it with his laughter walking out of the kitchen, and the look on my face is probably priceless.

My mouth falls open before I laugh with him with my shocked face, knowing Paul knows what I do, thanks to Jax. My elbow rests to the counter, I'm leaning against, and I cover my face avoiding my mother from seeing my smile, knowing this is about to get very serious. They have no idea what they just started.

"Why is everyone laughing?" My eyes fall closed before I pick my head up and look at my mom.

"Nothing Mom, I'm just not as sweet as you think I am."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She snaps.

"Oh, this is going to be good." My eyes widen snapping my gaze to my brother, holding his knowing look. What the fuck, they all know, except for my mother.

I suck in a deep breath, letting it out with a sigh, preparing myself for my mother to flip her switch, "I don't work at a department store, Mom; I dance at a club."

"You what?!" My mother's eyes fill with a red rage as her eyes widen, her words hiss from her tongue, "What kind of club?"

"We do a little everything there, exotic type dancing. "

"You're joking right?" The annoyance in her tone is sickening.

"No, Mom. I don't strip, I dance in a way that some may find arousing, and I really enjoy doing it." I'm being honest.

My mother's face looks shocked, pissed, and disgusted. She doesn't get the passion you feel dancing how I do. It's not all about sexual tension, its methodic, art, and sometimes, you can even get a good laugh when we throw in our humorous burlesque style.

"I can't believe you lied to me, Macie." She snaps.

"I knew you wouldn't approve so; I didn't tell you, and before you judge, you should really consider watching a show." It pisses me off when this style is judged, and I don't tend to back down when talked negatively about.

"Alright, since you work tomorrow, we'll be there after the game." Carrying that smart mouthed tone and my stomach rises to my throat, before I blurt, "Another night, not tomorrow night."

"Why not?"

I lift my brow with my twisted lips, knowing tomorrow is a big show night, and we bring out all the tricks and kinks, "You know what, sure, I'll make sure to have a table saved for you guys." She wants to see; she is going to get the full picture.

"This is fucking great." Dakota chuckles and I roll my eyes looking over at him, before asking, "You knew?"

My brother nods holding his playful gaze on me, "I have for a while."

"Are you serious?"

He nods, catching a glimpse of Jax returning, avoiding my gaze on him and I narrow my eyes as they track him. When he finally looks up at my narrowed eyes, my lip curls, "Ass hole."

He shoots me a wink and I shake my head.

"I'm not picking sides here, and probably not my place, but I know where Macie works, and it is not what you think Lisa." Paul pauses before he continues, "Kenny takes care of his girls, and they are well protected there."

"That doesn't make me feel better Paul." She snaps and I shake my head. She has never approved of my choices. What I want in life. She wants me to skate, and if I'm not skating, we don't have a relationship. Which is why I miss my dad, and I want the fuck out of here.

"Alright, well, I need to go before I fuck this night up too." My words are most defiantly filled with attitude and sass before I look at the guys, asking, "Are we going?"

"Lead the way." Jax half whispers as they both gesture to the door playfully and I shake my head, walking from the kitchen, before I go out the door to the garage.

I ask, "Who's car?"

"No cars, bikes tonight sissy." Koda says playfully and I return that playfulness, "Really?"

They both hold their playful gazes on me, before Jax hands me my helmet and I take it, lifting a brow with my statement, "I can't believe you told your dad."

"I didn't. He figured it out like I did, and Koda already knew."

"Yeah, and now my mom knows." There's a little sarcastic tone to my words, I didn't really want her to know, because I'm sick of her judgement.

His hand latches around my throat, lifting my chin, his eyes burning into mine with his growling words, "Stop worrying about what everyone wants for you and do what you want."

"You don't like it either." I hiss.

"I needed a minute to adjust to it. I love it Angel. The fact other guys are coming in their pants watching you, is what I don't like."

I snort a laugh with that, "Better their pants than somewhere else." I say with my laughing words, and he growls before that quiet laugh slips with his head shake taking a step back, the warmth of his hand slides from my throat.

"Put your helmet on and come on." He says still carrying that laugh as he slides his helmet on. He swings his leg over and I follow suit. My helmet goes on, before I step up to his bike and put my foot on the back peg. Putting my hand to his shoulder, I lift myself, swinging my leg over, and I settle in the seat behind him.

His wide back causes my legs to spread wide and my knees to cling to his sides, the same way he was last night, wishing I was in front of him, straddling his lap.

His hand taps my upper thigh before hearing his question, "You good?"

"Yeah." I slide my hands around his sides, leaning into him as I feel the bike kick into gear, and we pull from the garage behind Dakota, back to the rink.

I'm not angry that just happened, it needed to, and boy are they all in for a show tomorrow night. It's the night I bring out my aerial silks, and I fall from the ceiling, literally. I told you; I do a little everything.

Once we get out on the main road, I slide my hands from Jax and lean back with my arms in the air, feeling the fresh breeze, the freedom I feel being on these bikes.

I might feel a little more of all those sensations with Jax's warm body firmly being held onto by my knees. Feeling his large hand wrap around my outer thigh, sliding down to my knee pressed tightly against his side.

His touch sends those electrifying shivers up my leg, straight to my core. As much as I want to fight these feelings that are starting to rise in me, I'm still left so confused.

I drop my arms and wrap them around Jax. Leaning into him again, I flatten my hands on his chest, before I slowly trail them down. Sliding over his stomach, stopping just at the hem on his pants.

We ride like this; I enjoy the ride while my mind creates beautiful but sinful images in my head of Jax and me laying across his gas tank causing all kinds of wild dreams to explode in my head. Jesus Macie, calm down kitty.

Trying to focus on anything but what I am, I think about where I plan to go. I want to continue my dancing, the style I do, and I hope I can, and I really hope that's soon. That's why all of this is so hard and confusing, leaving me unsure of what to do.

My heart has a tether attached to it, and the other end is connected to him. Now I'm left asking myself, did I always have these feelings for Jax? How easy it is to be around him, talk to him, and that has been my whole life, but lately, with his touch on me, his interest sparking, his words, it really does something to me.

He pulls into the rink back parking lot, and they park their bikes. I swing my leg over and step off the peg, stepping back I slide my helmet off. Raking my nails through my hair as I watch Jax swing his leg over, pulling his helmet off.

As I slip my beanie back on, I hear more bikes causing me to look over, now seeing them and I realize it's Sully and Dax.

"You did not invite the team, did you?" I ask my question as I look at Jax and Dakota.

They both hold their playful gazes on me, and I shake my head, knowing this night is about to really blow up.

It's been a bit since I've let myself have fun with the team. So why not, I just have to make sure no one breaks anything and there aren't any fights. What the hell am I going to do if there is? Guess it's good they're here.

Even after my mom finding out about my dancing; tomorrow night should be interesting, and so should this little vacation she has created in her mind. It's just putting me further behind on getting out of here though.

"Well little baby girl is hosting club night on the ice." I laugh at Sully's playful tone as he walks up to me, wondering if he knows it was me on stage or not.

"Yeah, and don't get my ass in trouble, remember I work here, you guys play here." I giggle.

"Ouch…" Sully playfully drags out.

"Alright let's get in here so I don't fuck this up."

And we do just that.

Everything is ready. There are bubbles everywhere, the kids fill the ice, and I perch my ass up on the board, dangling my crossed legs over the ice. I have no idea where the guys went.

They helped, until they disappeared, and I watch the younger kids skate around in the bubbles, having a great time, causing me to smile with my laughs. This is the chill part of the night. The older teens come later and they tend to play their showoff games. Showing what they can do on skates, stopping tricks, group skates, they have a good time.

Mike has always done these for the kids, I remember myself participating growing up, but he always said it gave us a place to go and have fun doing what we enjoy doing, and it keeps us out of trouble. His words are true in many ways, but trouble still finds us unfortunately.

Jax steps beside me, resting his forearms against the ledge I'm sitting on as he leans down. I look over as he looks up to me and I ask, "And what have you guys been doing? "

Sully's voice whispers beside my ear on the other side of me, "Playing."

I giggle as I turn my head, looking over at him, always the damn jokester, "See!"

"You too good to skate anymore? You know, with your big dancing career you got going." He holds that knowing smile and my eyes roll as I look back to Jax, "They all know, don't they?"

He cocks a brow as Sully's voice barks out, "Fucking right we know, not hard to pick you out; You can't hide from us."

I laugh, a good one too, but damn it.

"I can still skate circles around you like I did when I was 14, Sully."

"Oh, okay."

"Try me." I hiss.

His arm hooks around my waist, ripping me off the board as he steps onto the ice, ripping a laugh from my throat before he sets me down and my skates slide against the ice.

"You're fucking crazy Sully." I laugh my words and he returns a laugh, as I push off, sliding the blade of my skate across the ice, my feet working in tandem backwards, getting as far away as possible.

The younger kids have started to leave, letting the older teen games begin. I squeeze in-between skaters, turning my body sideways as my skates go heel to heel, keeping my pace, knowing their big asses can't do that. Fuckers.

But damn does it feel good to skate around this ice like this. Vibing with the music, one of my favorite songs to skate to, my skates crossing over the other, adding some bounce in my hips because yes it makes me want to dance. I lose myself in it, a feeling I haven't felt in a long time, as my fingers snap, my head bobs.

I see Jax skating towards me and my lips twist, teasing him to come and get me, or have a little fun. Fuck it .

His long swipes of his skates across the ice cause him to be in front of me in a second. Reaching an arm out he hooks it around me and pulls me into him. Falling into the motion of our hips as they sway with each glide of our skates.

"You can't tell me you don't like skating anymore." He states and I huff my smile, "I still like skating Jax, I just don't compete, and I don't let myself do any kind of tricks."

"Why?"

"Don't want mom thinking I want to skate; she will destroy me again."

His brows scrunch in question and I shake my head, "We don't get along because I don't skate, and she can't accept it, so tomorrow night will be interesting."

"Stop worrying about what she wants for you, I told you that."

"I have, in a way."

Since this seems to be the only time we have, without having to run off and do something, "Are we going to talk about what is going on between us?" I ask in a whisper as I tilt my head and look up into those green globes.

"Do you really want to talk about that right now? "

I shrug with my answer, "No, but it keeps getting avoided."

"I told you what I want Angel."

"Jax I'm leaving." I swallow those words, just getting it out there, because really, that is why I am holding back.

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

"I told you, I plan on leaving here, I don't want to be here."

"What if I change your mind for a little while?"

A smile curls from my lips but my eyes sting with tears as they close, nothing will change my mind, "I'm not staying Jax." He cups my jaw, curling those long fingers around the nape of my neck.

"I'm not staying here forever Macie; Tomorrow night's game could be my ticket out of here."

I search his eyes as my heart hums in my ears, "What are you saying Jax?"

"Patience is what I'm saying. Macie, if there is one thing that I know I'm sure about, it is you, it has always been you." He pauses. "If I get signed, I'm out of here, and I'm taking you with me."

My heart swells and my smile spreads. Feeling my eyes water, excited this could happen, but I'm scared, but interested. I know what I feel as the shiver rocks my skin and the word flies out of my mouth in a whisper so easily… I can't believe I say it, "Alright."

His thumb trails against my cheek and my eyes flutter as my smile curls, he leans down, hovering over my lips, "We will both get what we want Angel, we just need to give it time."

I nod before his lips press against mine, fisting his shirt in my hands, pulling him down tighter against me, deepening our kiss.

My swelled heart in my chest explodes, and I tell myself to let this happen, and give into it all. I am at his mercy.

He pulls back, curling that cocky smile causing me to return it. I bend my knees, reaching down, I cup a handful of bubbles from the ice, straightening my legs. I blow them off the palm off my hand into his face.

He laughs his words, "Easy, you might disappear in these bubbles."

"I might like that." I giggle my devious laugh.

"I won't be able to stay for the whole game tomorrow night." I say quietly.

"Why?"

"I have to be at work early to get ready. It's a big night for me."

He cocks a brow and I smile, "Since I have, you , to thank for everyone knowing what I do, I have big plans for you big boy."

"Is that right."

"Oh, yeah, it's going to blow your mind."

I am going to be the biggest tease until after tomorrow night, building this tension between us.

He'll thank me for it later.