29. Loving You

Loving You

Macie

W e got home late last night, and now it's morning. The guys are all at practice to prepare for the next game, which is the day after tomorrow.

Now that I'm home, all I can think about is the club. I still have no idea what I want to do.

So today, I'm going to visit the place Kenny showed me. The place I have a key to that could easily be mine, an owner of something.

I do my thing, throw my hair up into a messy bun, because I honestly don't feel like dealing with the golden mess. Slide into some leggings, throw on a sweatshirt and I'm ready for the day. I make my way out the door.

It's a beautiful day today. The chill in the air is starting to disappear, replacing it with the heat from the sun and changing the temperature. It's almost my favorite time of year, summer.

I walk to building, enjoying the fresh air, and well, it's not far. I can get to everything by walking, they are all close to each other. A plus in this situation.

I enjoyed my walk. It gave me time to think and clear my head a little before getting here. I unlock and open the door, making my way inside.

I take a moment to look around more, inspecting every crevice, and let my mind wander. Let myself think of a plan, see if I can make a picture in my head of what this place could be.

I mean I did the design in Kenny's club.

I walk to the windows and sit on the ledge looking back into the open space. Looking from the ceiling to the floor, my mind explodes.

The pictures come into sight; I can see what I can do to this place. The tables and chairs, sending a vibe from the bar Dad and Paul used to take us to, with the live bands. But then the best part, the stage. Center of the room with aerial silks hanging, smaller stages off to the sides with hoops hanging. A main stage by the window I'm sitting at, opening this window more, creating a beautiful natural background of the city outside. An area for live bands.

My mind explodes and now my heart races; Do I really want this?

I've kind of already accepted some jobs. I could still do them and just over see this. Dance when I want, or big shows once a weekend. So many spiraling thoughts are rummaging their way in my brain.

Taking a deep breath letting it out with a sign as I pull my phone from my pocket. Pulling up Keri's name, I hit the call button and it rings and rings before her voice rings in my ear, "Hey girl."

"Hey babe."

"Are you going to tell me what you've been wanting to talk about now? You've kind of had me on edge all week." She spits. I have kept her in the dark all week.

I giggle with my apology, "I'm sorry, I needed a big minute to think about this one."

"Well fuck me, just tell me Macie." She laughs.

So, I do. I tell her everything, even though Kenny told me not to say anything about the money and all the details with it. I trust her, she will never replace Holly, but she has done a damn good job at filling very big shoes.

With her on video, I show her the place as I tell her what my mind has envisioned. When I came to a pause, hoping for something to come from her mouth instead my own voice burned in my ears from talking.

"I'm in; I'm so fucking in!" She snaps quickly with her laugh.

And I giggle my words, "Just like that?"

"Just fucking like that! Macie, I love it here, but I don't want to be here forever. I've always wanted something like this."

"And I miss you, Macie, it's not the same here, it makes me want to leave more."

I smile with my nod, "I understand that feeling Keri, and I miss you too."

I take a deep breath, swallowing it down as I look around as Keri asks, "Are you sure this is what you want Macie?"

"I don't know Keri, but I'll know soon. Kenny will be here tomorrow for my final decision."

"I'm good either way Macie, do this for you, not for me or anyone else."

I nod with my smile, "I will."

"Talk later." Keri says as she looks up then back to me.

"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow when Kenny gets here. We'll all talk about it."

"Okay; Love you babe."

"Love you too" And I hang up. And now I'm really like what the fuck.

I sit here and look around, let my mind play the tricks it does before I get up and make my way for the door. Locking it up, I head for the rink to check on the guys.

When I arrive at the rink, I don't see the guys on the ice so I make my way to the gym. There's just as much off ice training as there is on ice.

I find them in the gym, and they are working with their strength coach, so I just leave them alone. I don't need to interrupt, though, to stand here and continue to watch the sweat pour from Jax's forehead is very tempting.

I don't know what it is, but a man covered in sweat working out makes my thighs clench.

Not really wanting to go home, I remember that my skates are in Jax's hockey bag. He told me that way they would always be at the rink.

He had me laughing at the time and thinking, I won't need them. But the urge to skate hits me.

So I go to the locker room, find Jax's locker and rummage through his bag. Finding my skates I take them to the bench, laying my shoes on his bag, I slide my skates on before tying them up.

I make my way to the ice, no one around, I lay my phone on the wall, playing some music just so it's not so quiet in here. And I step onto the ice before my skate glides followed by the other.

A smile comes to my face, skating so natural to me. It doesn't matter how long I'm off the ice, I can still skate with ease.

For the most part I just skate around the edge, letting my mind think while I try and figure out what I want. Rolling my eyes with my sigh, annoyed this is bothering me so damn much.

I take my attention from it. Sliding to a stop next to the wall my phone is laying on, I turn something a little more upbeat on so I can see if my feet really remember. Why not.

As I push off, I skate backwards, my skates cross the other as they glide across the ice leaving that slicing sound. Spinning forward, I bring a leg up, straight in front of me as the other bends. Dropping my ass to my heel, my leg straight in front of me as I continue to glide.

Well, that was easy. And it is easy. It's a basic first trick learned.

Feeling my oats, I stand from the trick, dropping my leg as my toe sticks and I push off harder.

Skating backwards again, I get into the rhythm of the music and it fuels my stupidity; I try a trick I haven't done since I was 15.

Getting into position, my arms out balancing me as my knee bends and my body begins to turn as I push off. Lifting myself into the air my body spins in two and half rotations as my feet cross each other tucking my body tight. My jump begins to decline so my legs begin to separate preparing for my landing. My skate meets the ice as my other leg balances in the air behind me, pulling me out of the trick.

Well damn. Look at me go. I drag the toe of my skate into the ice, bringing myself to a stop as I laugh. I have a good laugh too. Not believing I can do that without busting my ass first.

But also, it brings back all my good days, memories with my dad. And this is why I don't skate. The tears pool in my eyes before they fall to my cheeks.

Wiping the tears from my face as I take in a deep breath, I let it out before I swallow my shit down and keep skating, I'm already out here and even though it hurts to do it, it also feels right.

I don't do anymore big tricks, just fuck off with some little spins, just enjoying the skates and ice beneath my feet.

Skating backwards, I run into a firm body, before arms wrap around me, but the glide of my skates continues .

"I knew those skates in my bag would come in handy one day."

I giggle my smile is I tilt my head and look up meeting Jax's gaze on me, "What are you doing here Angel?"

"I went to the place Kenny found, talked to Keri and decided to stop by. Then I found you all sweaty and yummy in the gym, I had to leave you alone."

He chuckles, "Yummy uh?"

"Well, you were, now, not so much, you stink."

He barks a laugh, "That's the smell of a fucking man."

I lose it with my laughter. I curl into his arms as my laugh echoes from the glass around us.

My stomach hurts, it hurts so bad, and I don't even know how I'm still on my skates. Jax finding this just as comical. He keeps us both on our skates, our laugh continuing before it dies down and I turn, facing him.

As his hands slide from my hips to my back, my legs fall between his as we find the same rhythm in our skates.

I look up to him and he asks me, "So what are you thinking Macie?"

"What are you thinking Jax?"

"It doesn't matter what I'm thinking Angel. If you want what Kenny has to offer, then do it."

"It does matter actually. Because if it will come between us, I will chose you over it."

"I can't let you do that."

"So it does bother you?"

"No. It does not actually, because I know it's what you want. I think you can make it work how ever you want. You can do whatever you want Macie."

I nod as I chew on my inner lip, my gaze drops as my deep breath drags in, "Will you go there with me? I want you to see something."

I look up, meeting his gaze, "What's that Angel?"

"I want to tell you what I envision while we're there. And if I feel what I did earlier when I envisioned it, again, I'm doing it Jax."

"Alright, but first." He cups my cheek as he leans down, hovering over my lips, "We're going to skate a little more."

I smile against his lips before I pucker them to reach his and the tips of his fingers curl into the nape of my neck as he presses his lips to mine in a hard grip. And as my phone changes to a different song, Jax pushes me away pulling our lips apart quickly as he holds that cocky smile.

We skate, we laugh, our bodies touch, my hair flows with the breeze from our skating just having a good time. Something we used to do so much of together. The club skate nights were the thing. Now this is not that. But my music is always; mwah, a delicious playlist. I'm a dancer.

With each pass of our skates across the ice, and each touch melting us together closer and closer. His hand explores down my sides as he tucks his lips to my ear from behind, "I'll let you tell me and show me whatever you want. As long as you show me something on them silks tonight."

I hum my laugh as I tilt my head leaning into him, "I would love to. I miss my silk sliding across my pussy."

"My pussy." Jax snaps his growl as his hand slides down my front and cups his hand over my nub, curling his fingers into my pussy, "My pussy Angel, all mine."

My hand reaches back, and I grab his hard cock that's been poking against my lower back, straining against his pants, "And this is my dick, all mine."

His hand slides up around my throat as he tilts my head back, bringing his lips to mine in a bruising hold. I jerk his cock through his pants a few times, teasing him, causing that growl to echo into my mouth, "You better stop before you don 't get what you want, you're about two seconds from it."

I pump his cock good and hard before I pull my hand away, "If I don't get what I want, you don't get what you want."

My toe digs into the ice, pulling me from him as I look over my shoulder, I shoot him a wink as I start to skate. And just to tease him that much more, I look away before I slap my own ass, leaving an echoing crack with the sting.

"That's exactly what I'm doing tonight, beating that fucking ass, but until then, how about I get what I want first." His growl echoes, making my slit pulse as he grips the back of my neck, pulling me back to him as he turns me.

"Take me to the penalty box big boy." I whisper in a tease as my lips twist.

He wraps his hands around the backs of my thighs as he lifts me, gripping my ass as he skates to the box.

Stepping into the box he pins my back against the glass as he starts his hot kisses across my neck, setting me on fire. Raking my fingers up through his hair as my head falls back, feeling the heat between us engulf as he pulls my leggings down to my ankles, and those green eyes bore into mine, curling a smile to my face before I bite my lip.

He rips my panties off. His touch getting closer to my pulsing slit as his hand slides up my thigh, I kiss him. I cup his jaw and claim his lips, and he devours mine as he slides between my folds with two fingers.

"Fuck, Angel you're so wet already."

His pants fall as his hand grips my ass even harder, stepping between my legs, and I instantly reach for his cock that is already out of his pants, hard, throbbing, and ready.

His lips crash against mine, rocking his hips, pressing his tip to my entrance. He thrusts as his arm wraps around my waist and I moan into his mouth as he eats it up .

His thrusts are not gentle, hitting deep against my sensitive walls, sending my eyes rolling and my nails to dig into his back through his clothes.

A deep groan rumbles in his chest and his grip around my waist tightens, sending his dick even fucking deeper.

"Fuck Jax," Panting my words into his mouth.

"Come Angel, I want your come running down the fucking wall."

I swallow my breath with his words as a moan rips out of my throat. His length brushes every point in my walls, hitting spots that cause so much sensation, shattering me.

"Look at me." He growls and my eyes lock into his. He holds his gaze on me with his panted words.

"Look at me when you come, Angel."

My eyes flutter, knowing that is exactly what is about to happen.

His one arm loosens it's hold before his thumb circles my clit, causing a loud moan to echo from my throat. My eyes threaten to close but I stay locked on his green globes.

My orgasm rips through me harder than it ever has, as my entire body curls. My nipples tighten, feeling like they have clamps on them. Feeling the burst of my climax gush between us, running down over my puckered hole.

"Good girl." He slams into my walls with one intoxicating thrust, and kisses me hard, feeling him pulse deep within me, spilling his hot cum, mixing with mine that he just literally ripped from my body.

He pants his words against my lips, "Now every time I'm in here, I'll be thinking about your come running down the wall."

I huff a laugh as his forehead presses against mine, "You need to stay on the ice, not here."

"But I like being in here." He jokes .

"You're trouble." I giggle and he chuckles as he sets me down.

Slipping back into my panties as Jax gets himself together. We finish before leaving the penalty box and walk back to the locker room to take our skates off.

"What are your plans for next week?" Jax asks and I look up to him as I sit on the bench, "Uh, I don't know, why?"

"Up for a little photoshoot?"

I giggle, "A what?"

He gives me that annoyed look as his head shakes, " Remember that schedule I had? Well, Sponsors had an idea of having a picture day for us."

"Oh yeah, and why do I need to be there?"

He holds that cocky smile as his head tilts, "Do you want another girl hanging all over me?"

"Fuck no!" I snap that quickly from my tongue. Absolutely territorial as fuck over him now, that's my dick.

We start to walk out of the rink and head to my potential club as he chuckles his words ,"That's what I thought."

"Would you have allowed it?" I ask curiously.

"No, I actually told them the only way I was doing it was if you did." He laughs grabbing the bridge of his nose and I giggle with him, "Well, that's good to know."

His arm wraps around my shoulders and pulls me to his side as we walk. He kisses the top of my head, "I would never do that to you Angel, to me that would be insulting."

That brings a smile to my face as I look up, meeting his gaze down on me, "Well, I appreciate that, and I think you will appreciate what I would do with this place."

I unlock the door to the building before opening it and walk in.

Jax shuts the door behind him, and I walk to the center, as he follows, continuing to look around. He didn't get a good look the other day either.

I turn and meet his gaze, "Let me hear it, Angel."

"Alright, it will be nothing like Kenny's club."

"How so?"

"No poles, but silks and hoops, and some floor dances BUT." I point to the side where I had envisioned the hoops hanging, "Along both walls, hoops, maybe four with dancers. Then here, tables for eating, like at the bar dad and Paul took us, on both sides. The main stage for dancing and the live band there." I point to the right side, keeping them visible to the whole room, but giving room to dance on the stage.

I drag in a deep breath and meet his gaze again, curling a smile from my lips, because my heart is racing in my chest, it's all coming alive in my head. And as I stand here, looking to the man I am completely in love with, the man I've known my whole life, tears sting my eyes.

"And right here, would be silks hanging, center of the room, it's the tallest point."

Jax studies me, he searches my eyes like he is waiting for me to fall apart, "So, what's holding you back Macie?"

"I never wanted to be tied down Jax. I want to be able to run if I need to. I don't ever want to feel trapped again; I was trapped at home."

He takes a step towards me, my head bending back as I continue to hold my gaze on him as he cups my jaw, curling his fingers around the nape of my neck, "Do you feel trapped with me?"

I shake my head and my chin quivers. The tears now blurring my vision, "No, you have changed everything I thought I wanted Jax. You showed me what it was like to be loved and that I can love again."

The tears fall to my cheeks before his lips are on mine full of that four-letter word I've been scared to death of, but he has shown me, there is no need to be scared of Love.

And all I want to do is keep loving him.