Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

T here are so many people. Personally, I think it's a bit much. I mean, we're talking about an unstable woman who's out to get me here. Not an army. I've been trying to feel something for my mom. I've been replaying memories from a time when she was actually a mother to me.

I loved her. Back then, she did everything that a mother should do. She was loving, caring. And then one day she decided she didn't want that anymore. I don't get it. I'm tempted to ask Luke if I can go with him. To see her. I want to ask her why I wasn't enough. Why Sean wasn't enough… What made her go and find a new family…

I wish I didn't have these questions. And I know the reality of getting the answers is slim. Then again, maybe I'm better off not knowing? I mean, the truth isn't always freeing. Sometimes it hurts more than the unknown.

"I've raided the vending machine." Aliyah drops an armful of snacks onto the bed. We arrived at the hotel an hour ago. Luke and Gray went with some of the guys who work for the Monroes to the farm where my mother is supposed to be.

Somehow, Liliana's cousins managed to close off the rest of our floor at the hotel. They have security posted at all the exits as well as surrounding the outside of the building.

"Thanks," I say, picking up a chocolate bar.

"You know, it took me a really long time to realize that I wasn't the reason my mother was insane. You're not the reason yours is either," Aliyah says, then adds, "I feel like we're kindred spirits, sisters in another life or something."

"Kindred spirits?"

"We both have fucked-up mothers who wanted us dead." She smiles, but there's a sadness in her eyes.

"I just couldn't imagine ever wanting to hurt someone in my family. When I have a child, I'm certain I'll want to protect them. Keep them away from anything that could harm them. How could a mother do this to her own child?" I ask her.

"I don't know. Maybe it's not them. Maybe they're possessed by some evil demon or something? No one knows why some people are totally zen and others are unstable. It's just life. And as shitty as the cards that you've been dealt are, you are stronger for it. You've survived a lot, Montana. And this? It's going to make you question a lot, but don't let it derail what you've already achieved."

"I don't know what I'd do without you. You really have been so kind and just… accepting of me."

"Because I'm amazing, obviously. But amazing can recognize amazing. The moment I saw you, I knew you were an awesome person."

"You are amazing." I bite into the candy bar. " And you bring chocolate. Which makes you even more amazing."

The door opens and Liliana, Travis, and Liam walk into my room. "You started a party without me? Rude," Liliana says with a fake scowl on her face.

"You're late. So who's the rude one?" Aliyah counters. "And these are not for you." She points an accusatory finger at her husband.

"What did I ever do to you to deserve this torture, Mrs. King? I can't go the next sixty years without snacks, babe." Liam sits on the bed, his arms crossed and an exaggerated pout on his face.

"Only sixty years?" Aliyah laughs. "Liam, I'm going to find you in heaven, and even then, I'll monitor your sugar intake."

"You should let him have a snack, Lia. He gets grumpy if he goes too long without a sugar burst," Travis says.

"Okay, fine. Liam King, you can eat whatever snacks you want. But you're bunking with O'Neil. I'm not staying awake all night dealing with your hyperactive brain when you're trying to burn off that sugar high."

"That's not happening," Travis growls, snatching a packet of cookies out of Liam's hands .

"You really get hyperactive?" I ask Liam. I mean, can the guy get any more extra than he already is?

"No," Liam says, at the same time everyone else responds with a solid, "Yes."

"Well, okay then. I'd totally give you snacks, but Aliyah's the boss," I tell Liam.

"A hot boss." He grins before snatching her up. "We'll be right back. My wife and I need to have words," Liam says before walking out the door with a disgruntled Aliyah in his arms.

"They won't be back anytime soon." Liliana laughs.

"It's okay. More snacks for us." I hold up another chocolate bar, offering it to her.

"Thanks. I like your thinking," she says.

"I'm gonna head back to our room, babe. Call me if you need anything." Travis kisses Liliana before walking out.

"And then there were two." Liliana taps her chocolate bar against mine as if we were holding champagne glasses instead of sweets.

I reach for the remote, flick on the television, and scroll until I find a sappy Hallmark movie. I don't know how long Luke is going to be, but I want to try to be awake when he gets back.

I wake up to whispered voices. Opening my eyes, I see two males talking to each other at the door. Luke and Gray. I look to my left, where Liliana was sitting, but the bed is empty, bar all the snack wrappers we left scattered around.

Shit. I need to clean the mess. Luke shouldn't have to come back to this giant mess. I push up and start collecting the trash, my hands a frenzied rush to make sure I get them all.

I look up when I hear the door close, and Luke walks towards me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I fell asleep. I didn't mean to. I'm cleaning it up," I rush out. I can feel the panic rising within me.

"It's okay. I've got it, Tanna." Luke collects whatever I didn't grab and then reaches out and takes the bits I'm holding in my hands. He dumps everything into the trash can before yanking his shirt over his head.

My gaze catches on my name scripted across his ribs. I've seen it a million times now, but that doesn't change how amazed I am that he actually did that for me. A little bit of the panic settles in my chest. "I really am sorry," I tell him.

Luke gets into bed. He pulls the covers back and shifts until he's right next to me. "Come on, lie down. It's late, Tanna," he says. I climb in next to him and scoot my body against his. "I love you." He kisses me briefly. "Always."

"I love you," I tell him. "What happened? At the farm? Did you see her?"

"I did. But we didn't go in. I watched from outside for a bit. We decided to go back tomorrow. There were a lot of people there. Gray's called his father and he's sending a few more guys up here."

"Is it dangerous, Luke? I don't want you to put yourself in harm's way for me."

"It's not dangerous. I'll be fine. I'm going to talk to your mom. Get her to stop all this ritual bullshit and let her know that she's not ever going to get to you," he says.

I'm not stupid. I know he's going to kill her or someone is going to kill her. Luke won't just let her keep plotting and planning. I'm not a hundred percent sure how I feel about knowing that my mother is going to die.

If I'm being honest with myself, she died a long time ago to me. I don't have a relationship with her, and I don't want one anymore. That doesn't mean I'm not saddened by it though. I want that life I dreamed of having, and I'm not going to let anything or anybody stop me from having it.

I've been weak long enough. It's time for me to be stronger. To fight for the life I want to have. Not just accept the shitty hand I was dealt. If Luke is prepared to fight this much for me, then I'll do the same. Because he's worth it. We're worth it.