Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

A liyah left thirty minutes ago. She's spent the last two days here. I know that Luke must have asked her to stay, but I appreciate the fact that she did. I haven't had a friend for a really long time. I pushed everyone away, distanced myself. I let Andrew convince me that they weren't my friends. That they were trying to come between us. Now that I think about it, I should have listened to them. Because they were right. He wasn't good for me.

There's still this deep-seated fear that he's going to come and find me. That he's not going to just let me go. I know Andrew. He's not the type to just let things go.

I walk into the bathroom and eye the tub. I'd love nothing more than to soak in a hot bath. But I can't. I know the moment I try, the memories of Andrew holding me under will overtake me. My chest gets heavy at the thought. So I reach into the shower stall and turn on the water. Luke should be home soon. He said he'd be home later tonight and, honestly, I'm doing everything I can to keep myself busy until he gets here.

I need to get a grip on myself. It's not healthy to lean on him so much. But right now, I need help. And I'm starting to allow myself to admit that I can't do this alone. As much as I want to be able to pick myself up, dust off the bruises— the memories —and just start a new life, I can't. Because if it were up to me, I would have gone home after I left the hospital. I would have gone right back to Andrew because the fear of what he's going to do when he finds me is too much to handle alone.

Maybe seeing this doctor tomorrow will be a good thing.

I strip off my clothes, step into the stall, and let the hot water wash over me. I know I'm not the first woman to go through what I have with Andrew. I also know a lot of women never escape.

Is that what I've done? Escaped him?

I'm not sure. I'm hiding. I want to be strong enough to just go out into the world and say a big fuck you to anyone and anything that tries to stop me from living how I want to live. And hopefully one day I will be. That day isn't today though.

I turn off the water, grab a towel off the counter, and wrap it around myself. Luke has the softest towels I've ever felt. I wonder where he gets them from. I need to remember to ask him.

My palm wraps around the handle, and then I freeze. The sound of footsteps on the other side of the door has my heart pounding. I slowly back up. It's locked. He can't get in here.

I drop onto the tile floor and bring my knees up to my chest, burying my head against my thighs. I just need to wait. He doesn't know I'm here. He can't find me here. I'm imagining things. I count to six. Three times. And just when I convince myself that there's no one on the other side of the door, there's a loud knock.

"Tanna, you in there?" A familiar voice breaks through the pounding in my head.

"Luke?" I push myself up, my knees still shaking as I make my way to the door and open it.

"You expecting someone else, babe?" His smile drops as his eyes rake over my face. "What's wrong? What happened?" he asks, his glare shooting behind me like he's going to find the answers there.

"N-nothing. I'm fine," I tell him. My heart is slowing down and the fear is seeping away.

"Don't lie to me. What happened?"

"I didn't know it was you. I heard footsteps and I just panicked for a bit. It's not a big deal."

Luke takes a step forward, and it's as if he's moving in slow motion as his arms wrap around me and he pulls me up against his body. "I'm not going to let anyone get to you, Tanna," he says. "I promise."

I let myself sink into his embrace. "How was your flight?" I ask, changing the subject while also trying to distract myself from the fact that I'm in nothing but a towel. Pressed up against the one guy I never could stop dreaming about.

Well, me and probably ninety percent of the female population. I've seen the headlines. Luke has been named the NHL's most eligible bachelor. Not that I'm surprised. If hockey doesn't work out for him, he could easily make it as a model.

"It was fine," Luke replies, holding me tighter. "You're shivering."

"I know." I tell myself to step back. To move away. But my legs don't follow my mental instructions and decide to stay rooted to the spot.

I'm having feelings in places I have no business having feelings. I told Aliyah I wasn't ready for any kind of relationship, that I couldn't trust myself yet. I know that I love Luke. I always have. But I can't trust that love right now.

"You're okay." Luke presses his lips to the top of my head and I make the mistake of looking up at him, staring into those green eyes of his.

"I will be," I say, trying to believe my own words.

"I'll make sure of it."

My thighs squeeze together. There's this need in my core I'm doing everything in my power to ignore. I'm in denial. I might be attracted to Luke, because I'm not blind. But no way is this attraction going to lead to anything more.

I step back and his arms drop from my waist. My hands hold my towel in place, my fingers clenching around the fabric.

Luke's head tilts to the side as he assesses me. "You know you can ask me for anything and I'd give it to you."

"I know." I nod my head. I don't think he's talking about the one thing I really need right now though.

"I don't think you do know," he says. "Come here." Luke takes hold of my hand and leads me over to the bed. "I know you don't want to acknowledge it. Fuck, you might not even be ready for this, but I'm not about to leave you wanting, Tanna. For anything."

The undersides of my thighs hit the edge of the bed, and Luke presses on my shoulder lightly, guiding me to sit down. "I don't know… Wait. What?" I peer up at him, confused. And then he drops to his knees in front of me.

"You need a release, Tanna. I can see it. And I'm going to give it to you."

"What?" I whisper as his hands land on my bare thighs. I freeze. This is not happening. I need to stop this.

Luke's lips land on my inner thigh as he presses featherlight kisses over the bruises that are still visible there. "No strings, Tanna. Just let me make you feel good," he says as he spreads my thighs wider.

He never takes his eyes off mine as his mouth moves higher. My breathing picks up, and I can feel the need in my core. I've had this dream. A lot.

"You… you don't have to do this," I huff out while trying to move away.

"Tell me to stop and I will, Tanna, at any point. But don't for one second think that I don't want to do this. I've been dying to taste you since I was sixteen."

I stop moving. I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything at all. I look down and watch as his lips continue to move higher and higher. When his tongue finally slides through my folds, all rational thoughts leave my head. The only thing I can think about is how much I want him to do that again.

"Fuck," Luke growls before his tongue slides up the length of my lips for a second time. "So fucking good."

"Oh god." My eyes close and my thighs shake as he seals his lips around my clit and sucks.

Luke pulls away. "Open your eyes. I need you to see me, Tanna. I need you to know it's me."

"It's always you," I tell him. Even when it wasn't him, I would imagine it was. Dream that it was .

I keep my attention focused on him as he returns to the task at hand. It doesn't take long before I climb that mountain, about to soar off the edge. My whole body shakes, and Luke holds my thighs apart when they try to close around him.

"Come for me, Tanna. I want to see it. I need to see it."

Like a button's been pressed, I do come. Harder than I ever remember coming apart before. My hands curl into the blankets beside me and my body seizes up as pleasure like I've never known erupts through my entire being.