Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

I didn’t want to leave the house. In all honesty, I feel like shit. I can feel people taking pictures of me, and I can only guess what the next headline is going to be. Probably something about me ruining the team or how I’m still bondless. God, when they find out I’m pregnant, the headlines are going to be miserable.

I scrub a hand down my face as I try not to fall apart. Everything feels like too much. I feel like crap all the time, and I’m doing my best to hide it from two of the men who love me most, which in turn just makes me feel worse.

Part of me wants to tell them right now, but another part of me is just so scared that what we have is so fragile that this might just ruin everything we’ve built. It’s like I’ve dug myself into this hole and I don’t know how to get out of it. Deep down, I know Max and Bram would be able to handle my emotions if we bonded, but I’m not sure how they are going to handle us having a baby together. What if the headlines are right? What if I’m not worth all of this effort?

I shake all those annoying thoughts away as I watch Bram’s first game back. Old habits die hard as I take pictures and videos of each of them—unfortunately, while people do the same of me. Just because I don’t work for the Foxes anymore doesn’t mean I can’t help them with their own social media.

“Have a second for your old man?” I hear behind me and sigh.

It’s my dad Henderson. He must have heard I was coming to the game, or maybe he assumed because it’s Bram’s first game back.

“Hey, Dad,” I say, not turning around.

Instead, he comes to stand next to me and watches the game with me.

“He’s come back with the same tenacity he had before,” he says.

“Bram is resilient,” I say.

“We miss you, honey,” he says.

My eyes well with tears because that’s just what they do now, apparently.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing my shoulder and pulling me to the corner of the room. “What’s going on? I know you’re mad at Kristoff. To be honest, I don’t even blame you. But this isn’t like you, not coming to dinners or replying with one-word sentences. I know the media has been brutal, especially after what happened. Are you doing okay?”

Well, yeah. I’m keeping a huge secret, and I knew if I got cornered like this, I’d likely cave in.

I nod my head, and he sighs.

“We love you so much, and we’re worried about you. You tell me you’re happy, and yet when I look at you right now, you don’t look happy. This isn’t you, Sloane. I don’t know if it’s these men or what happened. But I’m not going to let my daughter disappear before my eyes.”

“I am happy,” I say, and I mean it. I truly am.

I’m just keeping a secret that’s making me sick. I’ve become addicted to reading terrible things about me and my pack, and it’s making me even sicker.

“You can try to lie to someone else. What’s going on?” he asks, staring down at me.

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Are you having some issues after the accident? You aren’t listening to all these stupid motherfuckers online, are you?” he asks softly.

I wipe away a tear from my eye because yeah, almost losing your pack that isn’t even officially your pack yet will fuck you up. But I need to be brave. I need to keep my cool because if I let myself feel it, I think I might just fall apart.

I liked it when Bram was home because I knew where he was, and I know that bonding with him would probably help some of this ache. But I just can’t do that until I talk to a doctor, and even then, I wonder how inundated he’ll be with my festering emotions.

“My life feels out of control,” I whisper, not meaning to say it out loud.

My dad wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly.

“We’re always here for you, Sloane. We miss you. I want to get to know your pack. It’s been so boring since you moved out.”

I let out a raspy laugh as he rubs my back.

“You’ll always be our little girl. You can’t blame us for making sure you’re okay.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that he’s about to be a grandfather, but I hold back. Max and Bram need to hear that news first, and it’s clear that I can’t keep this to myself anymore. It’s just making me worse.

I’m doing no one any good by holding in this secret. Bram is on the ice playing nearly up to par as he was before his injury, and Max has moved in. Getting this off my chest may be the thing that gives me some relief.

“I needed this. Maybe in a week or two we can come to your place for dinner. I can invite Lori and Ethan’s foster dad, Dave. Though he doesn’t get out much.”

“We’d love to have you all over.”

“Perfect,” I say as he squeezes my shoulders and leaves the box.

I take a seat next to Piper who eyes me cautiously.

“What?” I ask.

“You’re twenty-one now. You could have a drink at the game,” she says.

“Oh, I haven’t gotten my new ID yet,” I say, and she clicks her tongue.

“They don’t check IDs in the box,” she replies.

“My stomach hasn’t been right for a few days. I don’t think drinking will make it any better.”

“You haven’t told anybody yet?” she asks, and my throat clogs as I blink at the overly perceptive Alpha.

She shrugs. “I see pregnant Omegas every day, not to mention Charlotte’s two pregnancies. No drinking, tired, overly emotional, it ticks all the boxes.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” I say quickly, panic filling every nerve ending.

She pats my thigh. “Hey, I’m not telling anyone. But you need to schedule an appointment at the clinic so we can make sure you stay healthy.”

“I know.”

“Your pack doesn’t know?” she asks, her eyes sympathetic.

“Ethan does, the others don’t.”

“Sloane.” She sighs my name.

“They’re just now getting along, Piper. They finally don’t hate each other, and I’m about to drop this piece of information that’s going to change our lives, and I just don’t want them fighting over who the father is. Bram mentioned he doesn’t want kids for a while, and I feel like I trapped Max into this entire relationship and he’s going to resent me for adding another thing he didn’t ask for in the mix. Not to mention what fucked-up things they’re going to say about me getting pregnant before we were bonded.” I say it all like a run-on sentence.

“Sloane,” she says my name sharply.

“What?” I say, wiping my face.

“I’m going to give you a piece of advice I gave to Charlotte so many years ago. If they aren’t willing to make it work, then they aren’t worthy of you.”

“I can’t lose them,” I say, and Piper gives me a small smile.

“You’re not going to. I’ve seen the way those two look at you. The news might be shocking to them at first, but they love you, and they’re going to love this baby. You need to get this off your chest. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby.”

“You’re right, I know you’re right. I’m just scared.”

She nods sympathetically, and I’m thankful she doesn’t push me anymore.

“I’m here for whatever you need, and if I don’t see you on the schedule within a week, you’re going to be in deep shit.”

I laugh and nod my head. I’ll tell Bram and Max, schedule an appointment, and get all the answers we need to move forward. I just hope they aren’t pissed at me for holding this in for so long. I focus back on the game where Max gets knocked over by a Jets player. I’m on my feet and watch as Bram gets into an altercation with the opposing team.

I’m not new to watching Bram fight. But I’ve never seen him fight so hard on a goalie’s behalf, let alone Max’s.

I wince as Bram gets hit on his left side and bite my nails. I’m holding my breath until they get pulled apart and sigh with relief. They show him grinning with his bloody teeth, and I have to laugh and shake my head.

That man is one of my child’s fathers. I rub my stomach.

What the fuck am I doing? What am I so scared of? Hasn’t Bram chosen me repeatedly? Hasn’t Max stayed enthusiastically after finding out I’m his scent match?

It’s clearer than ever that the incident on the bridge has given me more anxiety than I can handle on my own. I can’t keep living in fear, and I surely can’t keep this secret to myself for another moment. This weight that I’ve been carrying around, this pain, this fear, has to go.

Tonight, I’m going to tell them tonight.

I cheer as the team wins the game, Finnegan the Fox heading out on the ice shooting T-shirts out of a cannon as the men hug and celebrate their win.

I almost can’t believe what I’m seeing when Max and Bram embrace, kissing each other. I nearly have another emotional breakdown, but instead, I smile so hard my cheeks hurt. Camera flashes go wild, and I can only imagine how people are going to spin the narrative that they still hate each other.

When’s the last time I felt this good?

The two men that I’ve fallen for are choosing each other, they’re choosing our pack, and all I did was doubt how they would handle the news. Maybe it’s because I’m doubting myself, doubting the pack. I need to have more faith in myself and the men I’ve chosen.

It’s time to start actually living and not living in fear of what I can’t control.

This time next year, I’ll be holding a baby as we watch all three daddies on ice. I smile again. Maybe my life is clicking into place after all.