Chapter 15: Scarlet

15

SCARLET

" W e could play Monopoly, or something else?" Cristian suggested as he packed the cards away that had been left strewn across the coffee table.

"Monopoly is too tense, breaks up families," I joked, and he smirked, those dark eyes glancing at me before he focused back on another pastry.

I watched him devour it, marveling at how he maintained his sculpted physique despite his apparent sweet tooth. The thought crossed my mind that he must work out religiously to stay in such good shape. My eyes traced the lines of his muscles as he stretched, pulling his tee tight over them, and I caught myself imagining him in the gym, sweat glistening on his skin as he lifted weights.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the tantalizing images. Now was not the time to start falling into the gutter and getting all hot and bothered. I'd blame the wine for the naughty thoughts .

Julian's voice snapped me out of my mind. "So, Scarlet, what about you, do you still want kids someday?"

The question caught me off guard, and I felt a pang in my chest as memories of my loss flared. I swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump forming in my throat.

I swirled the last sip of wine in my glass, the ruby liquid catching the light. Julian's question about kids had hit me like a punch to the gut.

"I don't know," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm a hot mess really. I barely have my life together, and it's scary."

The memory of Lily, my first child, flashed through my mind, her gurgles and soft coos, and then her cries as she fought for her life. The pain of losing her still felt raw, even after all these years.

"I lost Lily…" I continued, my throat tight. "The thought of potentially losing another is terrifying. It'd destroy me completely, and I'd be scared I wouldn't be able to piece myself back together again."

"You wouldn't lose another," Cristian growled, jerking my attention to him and those dark eyes that burned with something I couldn't quite place. It sounded so definite, like he knew something I didn't, or he was making a promise to me. Either way, it was moot. No one could promise such a thing except the powers above, and I stopped believing in a higher power long ago.

"Life is not a guarantee, I know that. It can be snuffed out at a moment's notice, you guys know that well, considering the family business," I said, my voice dropping at the end before I downed the last bit of my wine.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "Not to mention I was not exactly raised in a functional family environment. "

Julian leaned forward, his brown eyes intense. "Yes, but you know what you don't want for your child then, you'd aim to do better, right?"

I nodded slowly, considering his words. Maybe he had a point.

"Maybe one day," I conceded, knowing it was not something I would rule out, "when I'm settled and meet the right person." Would I try again? I wasn't sure, Lily's passing still haunted me, but a part of me still longed for a chance to be the mother I'd wanted to be.

Julian nodded slowly as he settled back against the couch, and I swirled my now empty glass, needing to fidget. The room felt heavy with unspoken emotions, and I swallowed down my unease. I glanced over at Cristian, expecting to see his usual manic grin. Instead, his face was a mask of anguish, his eyes haunted as they bore into me. The look sent a chill down my spine, reminding me of the darkness that lurked beneath his unpredictable exterior.

I doubted I would ever fully know what was going through that chaotic mind of his. To ever understand exactly how he thought.

"Well, I'm going to go get some board games, and we can decide. We deserve a relaxed day today after everything," Cristian said, his expression steeling as he offered me that all too familiar smirk, locking away whatever he'd been thinking and feeling.

He rose and strode off, and I exchanged a look with Julian, a smile touching my lips as Kenny joined us, having been snoozing on his cat tower and now demanding pats. He came to me first, nudging my legs for pats, and once I'd petted him enough, he moved to pounce onto the couch beside Julian, where he curled up and purred away .

Cristian returned quickly from upstairs, his arms laden with an assortment of board games, Tyrone on his heels. Ty's dark eyes scanned the room, sensing the heavy atmosphere as Julian and I sat in silence, my mind still humming over the question he'd popped.

"What happened? Why are we all so serious?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Cristian didn't even look up as he sauntered over with the array of games. "Scar wants a kid again someday, so she can be better than her parents, be a good mom," he said nonchalantly, plopping down on the couch and sprawling the games on the coffee table for us to peruse.

Ty's gaze flicked to me, his dark eyes holding a hint of surprise, and something else. Sure, it was a possibility.

"Maybe, I don't know yet, not after everything," I murmured with a shrug.

Tyrone studied me for a moment, his gaze heavy, and I clenched my teeth as I stared hard at the games on the table, not actually registering them.

"Would you kill for your child? You killed to protect your good friend, but could you do it again? Could you kill and get actual blood on your hands?" Ty asked suddenly, his voice dropping low as my gaze shot to his, and he held it steady.

I was thrown back into a dark memory - Lily's tiny body limp in my arms, her once vibrant eyes now dull and lifeless. The wretched man behind it all had left me on the floor, where I'd crawled to her basket to hold her while weeping, my life shattered as I clung to her.

My fists clenched involuntarily at the memory, my nails digging crescents into my palms. If I could have saved Lily... if I could have stopped him... yes, I would've killed him if I could've. Even now, years later, I wanted to tear him apart with my bare hands for ripping her from me. The rage bubbled up inside, threatening to consume me. I wasn't strong enough back then, and it enraged me to this day, the impotent fury eating away at my insides like acid. I'd felt so weak and useless, my hope snuffed out in that moment as he'd muffled her cries into silence. The sound of her last whimper haunted my nightmares, a constant reminder of my failure as a mother. I swore to myself, never again would I be that helpless, that vulnerable. The world had shown me its cruelty, and I was determined to bite back just as hard.

I sometimes wondered about going back and doing just that, killing him, but he'd moved, and I didn't know how to track him down. Besides, getting away with the murder of a junkie was one thing, a well-known accountant was another. Yeah, I'd known who he was, how he'd gotten tangled up with my parents was beyond me. But he'd paid for me and then broken me.

Tyrone's question was not just one of murder. It was if I'd get my hands dirty. My overdose of a junkie was not something messy, although it had still been murder.

Could I soak my hands in blood if I had to? Would I have done it for Lily?

"Yes," I answered Ty finally, my voice firm and unwavering. "In a heartbeat."

A heavy silence filled the room following my admission. Cristian and Julian both paused in their task of sorting out the board games, their gazes landing on me. Ty merely nodded, content with my answer.

We were all products of our past, scarred and broken in our own ways. But one thing was clear - we would do anything to protect those we cared about. Everyone in this room, we shared that one desire, that one unified belief and integral part of our beings.

I tried to blink back the tears that threatened to spill over, the memories hitting hard and my emotions still raw from everything I'd endured. Cristian surprised me as he stood, moving to pull me off the couch and into his arms. His embrace was warm and solid, a stark contrast to the chaos that usually surrounded him. I stiffened at first, unsure how to react to this unexpected moment.

Cristian's arms tightened around me, as if sensing my conflicted emotions.

"No one will ever hurt you again," he murmured, his breath hot against my ear. The warmth of his promise seeped into me, wrapping around my battered heart like a soothing balm. For a moment, I allowed myself to believe him, to sink into the safety he offered. But then he added, his voice tinged with dark humor, "Well, outside of those in this room, that is."

My skin prickled, reminding me of the dangerous world I was now in. These men, as protective as they might be, were still capable of inflicting their own brand of pain. I swallowed hard, trying to reconcile the conflicting feelings of security and fear that battled within me.

I couldn't help but snort at the mindful comment, the sound escaping my lips before I could stop it. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. The absurdity of it all – being 'protected' by these dangerous men while simultaneously fearing them – wasn't lost on me.

He pulled back slightly, his dark eyes meeting mine with an intensity that made my breath catch in my throat. There was something dangerous lurking in those depths, a promise of both protection and peril that made my heart skip a beat.

"I won't kill you, kitten," Cristian said, his voice low and husky. "You can be sure of that." It wasn't exactly the most comforting reassurance, leaving me to wonder what other fates might befall me. I searched his face for any hint of deception, but found only a disturbing sincerity that left me more unsettled than before.

"You could do it on accident," I pointed out, not one to forget his volatile nature.

A wry smile twisted his lips. "I've killed enough to know when something I do is too much. Besides," his voice dropped to a whisper, "you're mine now. You've got my heart."

The intensity in his gaze made a shiver course down my spine, and I wasn't sure if it was from fear or something else entirely. Before I could respond, he stepped away, his mood shifting as quickly as always.

"I think we need more snacks," he announced, heading towards the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, though I noticed Tyrone watching me carefully from across the room. His dark eyes were unreadable, but I could feel the weight of his gaze.

Glancing over at Julian, I saw him smiling softly as he scratched Kenny behind the ears. The cat's contented purrs filled the room, a soothing counterpoint to the tension that had built up.

Despite everything, I felt myself starting to relax. The emotional whiplash of the past few days left me feeling drained, but oddly calm. These men, dangerous and unpredictable as they were, had become a strange sort of constant in my life. It was a realization that should have terrified me, but instead, it brought an unexpected comfort. I found myself sinking deeper into the couch, the tension in my muscles slowly uncoiling. The familiar scents of the house - a mix of leather, coffee, and something uniquely masculine - washed over me, grounding me in the present. As I watched Julian with Kenny, and felt Tyrone's intense gaze, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd ended up here, finding solace among chaos. It was as if the storm inside me had finally found its match in the wild unknown that surrounded these brothers.