Chapter Eighteen
"It won't take long to put weight on if I keep eating like this." Mom tips up her bowl for the last drops of the Vanessa-made creamy mushroom soup before using the rest of her soft bread to scoop up the dregs.
I've got to say, I agree with the sentiment. Although, after this morning, I'm now thinking my own weight gain is due to something else. It's worrying because I'm unsure of how the club is going to deal with Mom stabbing their Vice President. If Mom has to go, or worse, they decide she is too unsafe for this world, then I won't lie down and allow that. I can't.
Everything I've done has been for her, to fall at this hurdle would completely break me. More so than I already am. My brain is already working in overdrive to keep everything that's happened, everything I've had to do, safely locked away in the dark recesses of my mind.
Sabrina takes Mom's now-empty bowl and stacks it with the ones we already finished, then, in ASL, she signs something which Mom immediately translates for me.
"Where do you think these wide hips came from? Vanessa missed her calling as a rabbit." Mom's laugh is a thing of wonder, something I never thought I'd hear in all its glory like this again. "I'm going to go ahead and assume you meant chef? Here, this is how to sign chef." She slaps her right palm down against her left hand, like a clap, then flips her palm up, before placing both palms so they are facing each other, as if there's an invisible box being held between them.
Sabrina repeats the action, silently giggling and rolling her eyes at herself for the mistake.
Neither of us brings more attention to the mistake, because it really doesn't matter.
Before today, I had no idea that Sabrina could sign, but Mom explained that's because none of the club members know how, so it's just easier to write notes. Sabrina isn't deaf, she can hear perfectly well, but she chooses not to speak for reasons that are her own. To be fair, I haven't really had time to spend with many people here like this to find out; Aleko is a needy man—not that I'm complaining because I'm just as needy.
Mom and Sabrina have built a lovely relationship in the short time she's been at the compound, and the fact that Mom is able to pull up on her training and knowledge from before she was admitted to that place is nothing short of amazing. I think Sabrina likes being able to speak to someone without writing it down, and I know for a fact that Mom is enjoying the opportunity to use her learned skills.
While I've been here for the last hour, I've witnessed them both correcting each other on certain words, but for the most part, it's been surreal to have Mom here.
The irony of where we are isn't lost on me, though. Mom's gone from being admitted to a psychiatric hospital to being confined to her suite in an old and restored Psychiatric hospital. But stabbing someone doesn't come without consequences… well, not when there are witnesses anyway.
"Now, darlin". I know you've been trying your hardest not to ask about what happened. I can see it all over your beautiful face." Mom pushes her chair away from the small desk beside her, then stands and comes to sit beside me on the king-size bed. The mint-green sheets were Vanessa's idea. She had insisted on making sure my mom was comfortable and had bugged me to tell her Mom's favorite color before she moved in.
Bet she's regretting that now. It all seems like such a waste.
I swear, my emotions are so up and down, I'm surprised I'm not nauseous.
"Yeah." I can do nothing but shrug and pick at my fingernails, concentrating on my hands as though they're going to change the world, and feeling every bit the sixteen-year-old child my mom left behind five years ago.
The warm embrace as she wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close is something else I thought could never happen again. A lump catches in my throat and I'm struggling not to be sad in any way about what has been missed. Instead, I lean my head against her chest and listen to her heartbeat as she rubs the top of my arm.
"Something triggered my brain to go into defense mode. When your brother would visit with his friends, they…" She pauses, taking a moment before continuing. "They took advantage of me being unable to fight back or move. It became a game. I won't go into detail because it's all in the past, and to be honest, I can't go back to that dark place in my mind. But now that I'm no longer in that position, I can fight back. I'm sorry, darlin". It was like an instinct to protect myself. I realized what I'd done by the time Sabrina brought me back here." She sighs and we sit in silence for a few moments.
Me? I'm absorbing the information she's just given because knowing this… well, my brother didn't suffer enough.
"Do you think speaking to someone about everything could help?" Maybe explaining and apologizing to the club is enough. Maybe they won't vote to kick her out or… I shudder. No. They wouldn't do worse, would they?
"I've been talking with Sabrina, if that counts." Mom laughs, and it's a little scary to see how easily she's moving on from what happened to her, last night and at the Psych hospital.
Like mother, like daughter.
Let's all push aside our feelings in hopes of moving forward… but that's not going to help Mom. Not after last night's outburst.
"It does a little." I smile against her chest, still in her hold, until I shoot up as a memory hits me. Broaching the subject is something I've been putting off, waiting for the right time, but let's be real, when exactly is the right time to bring up your dead brother and his last-second spewings? "Jake told me something. Before he died."
"Okay? Would you like to share, darlin"?"
Hesitant, I nod as her hazel gaze searches my face, her love and encouragement filling my chest with the warmth I've been missing for so long. Unconditional love. I open my mouth to speak, but she holds up a hand.
"For you to be looking this worried, I think I know what he told you. Was it about D-Dad?" She's trying to be so strong as she brings him up, his death being the reason she was admitted in the first place, but the subtle tremble of her chin gives her away.
I nod again, feeling like one of those wobbly head things, unable to do anything else.
"Before your dad, there was another man. An older, married man. He was a mistake, but after the first time, he refused to take no for an answer. Your dad was my best friend, and he persuaded me to move away with him to a new town. It was the only way to get away. Restraining orders were ignored, and for a short while, things weren't safe. A few weeks after we had moved, I realized I was pregnant. With your brother. Your dad immediately whisked me away to the town hall where we were married, and he agreed to raise the baby as his own. Over the years, there have been glimpses of the man, and I know he was in contact with Jake because I never told him, yet he knew. So yes, Jake is—was–your half-brother."
Relief floods me because I hated the thought that I could have a different dad out there somewhere, that the dad I knew as my own had lied to me for my whole life.
"Wow… Mom, I love you." There really isn't much else to say because my mom is stronger than I ever gave her credit for. It's no wonder she broke down when Dad died; he was her glue, holding her pieces together… just like Aleko for me.
And now it's completely clear as to why I'm not crumbling every second of every day. Aleko would never let me.
"Do you remember his name?" I'm curious. I'd love to find out more, to see what kind of man Jake's father was. This is definitely one of my downfalls, my unhealthy need for knowledge.
"No." Mom closes her eyes, her head shaking over and over, as she pulls me in for another hug.
I hadn't noticed, but Sabrina must have left the room at some point. The empty soup bowls have disappeared so I'm guessing she's taken them to the kitchen, where the Khunts will wash them. I think Rea is down there today. My least favorite of the ones I've seen around here so far. Rude as fuck.
Mom's shut down at this point, slowly rocking backward and forward as she holds me, intermittently kissing the top of my head, and I decide no more questions for today.
It's like the fates have decided the same thing because there's a persistent knock at the door, followed by a shout, "Where's my Cherry Pie?"
The door flies open as Mom finds herself again and invites him in with a quick, "Come in."
"I need to steal you away for like, an hour or two, Cherry." Aleko raises that sexy as fuck brow, telling me everything I need to know without a single word escaping his mouth.
He and Bear went to the pharmacy for "supplies" before church was called for something important. That must all be over now, so Aleko is clearly back with the goods from his shopping trip.
Lucky for me, Sabrina chooses that moment to come back into the room with a fresh pot of coffee. As much as I want to stay with Mom for a little longer, right now, I need to see what my future actually holds.
After some goodbyes, and assurances from Sabrina that Mom will be okay, Aleko and I head toward his suite.
There's something on his mind other than the whole possible-baby thing, and I'm pretty sure I know what it is. Because it's on my mind too. This is probably what their whole church thing was about.
"How long does Mom have left before she's got to go?" I won't even entertain the alternative option.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Cherry?" Aleko unlocks the door to his suite and holds it open for me, gesturing for me to go first.
I sigh, he's going to make this harder than it needs to be,
"She stabbed your VP, I know the rules, she's got to be dead to you guys now. She ha—"
"Let me stop you right there, babydoll." Closing the door behind him, Aleko prowls closer to me, placing his hands either side of my face and forcing me to make eye contact. "The Toxic Rebels don't run under any kind of rules like the rest of us. Not in any universe would you or your mom be told to leave here. You're family. You get that, don't you? Which means she's family. We've all had our fair share of trauma, so we get it. The Prez said so himself. Hoops is fine, no one died, we know she didn't mean to and that she's sorry. We'll get her some help." He shrugs as if it's no big deal.
"And that's it? No repercussions?" I'm skeptical, because this isn't what I know.
"That's it." Holding his hands palms-up and out to his sides, he turns to grab a paper bag sitting on his dresser.
As he passes it over to me, the sheer number of boxes inside almost floors me. The task ahead is suddenly super daunting.
"Wait, if church wasn't about kicking Mom out, is everything okay? Because you seem a little on edge." And he does, even though the playful glint I love so much is still there in his beautiful blue eyes, there's a tenseness to his neck and the way he's carrying himself differently than usual.
"I'd say not. No. But it will be. We can and will come up with a plan for all that though. Right now, I need you to take these and piss on every single stick." He winks, but I'm not buying it.
"I'll piss on sticks when you tell me what's wrong."
"Incorrigible. That's what you are, Cherry. Incorrigible." Snatching the paper bag from my hand, he places it on the bed behind me. Then he puts one hand against my waist as if to steady me, and the other against my cheek. "The Rebels have been bailed out, awaiting trial." I have to remind myself to breathe, but it hurts. "Jonesy is trying to find out who it was, but our lawyer didn't have much info to go on…"
My heart is beating out of my chest, my head pounding, my hands trembling against Aleko's strong, bare arms.
"Baby, we'll deal with them together, okay?" Eyes dancing between mine, Aleko kisses me, hard and fast, before wrapping his arms all the way around me so we're pressed so close together that my heartbeat becomes his.
Adrenaline is flooding my veins, and it's not because I'm scared like I thought I would be. The thought of now being able to get to Isaac and Brick without the constraints of bars and police in the way is exciting. The possibilities running through my mind seem endless, and with Aleko by my side, they really are.
The fact that what Mom did is basically nothing to him, my fears completely alleviated, is a huge weight off my shoulders. I swear, this man would forgive me anything.
"Promise?"
"I promise. Now, will you go and piss on those sticks already?" He grins, pulling my face to his to kiss me, all tongues and teeth, before resting his forehead against mine. "I fucking love you." He turns and grabs the paper bag again, shoving it at me and spinning me toward the bathroom, slapping my ass to get me moving.
I don't.
Instead, I turn to look at him over my shoulder, a disapproving look on my face, trying desperately to do his one eyebrow thing.
I'm failing. I know this because he's now laughing at me.
"Too cute. Fuck off. Piss on sticks." Shaking his head, he gently pushes me into the bathroom, then stands in the open doorway with his arms folded across his chest. The loose black tank top he's wearing is showing off all his neck, chest, and arm tattoos, and I wonder if this can wait until later… not that I'm trying to put off knowing at all.
Okay, I am.
As I approach him, he smirks, unmoving, and does the eyebrow thing. He knows what he's doing.
"Bastard."
He chuckles at my insult, and I huff.
"Are you really going to watch me do this?" Pulling my short-shorts and panties down, I sit on the toilet before pulling out a box from the bag at random.
"Did you really think I'd do anything else, Cherry?"
I roll my eyes because no, I did not.
"Okay. Fair."
It takes longer than I imagined, but after peeing in a cup and dipping six different sticks into it for their allotted time, the first one is ready. If the timer going off on Aleko's phone is any indication.
"I don't wanna look."
"Why, baby?" We're both sitting on the bathroom floor, me in Aleko's lap, and it's just dawning on me what's going on.
I might be pregnant. I might have a real human growing inside me. One that I'll be responsible for. Having children isn't something I envisioned for myself, but now that the possibility is here, I really want to have Aleko's baby. I want a family with him, and every single thing that comes with being his and him being mine.
What I'm scared of, in this moment, is that I'm not pregnant.
We stare at each other for a few minutes, his question going unanswered, but I think he sees it in my expression, in my eyes, because he just smiles and kisses me before pushing me up to stand along with himself.
I take a deep breath and look at the first stick, Aleko right behind me, keeping my back warm with the feel of him, and my stomach jumps into my chest at the sight. Then I take a look at the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth…
Holy shit.
"We're pregnant!"
A light tickle across my chest and shoulder rouses me just before I hear, "Cherry Pie, you awake?"
I quickly realize the tickle is Ninja, just as eager as Aleko to wake me up this morning.
"I wasn't awake. No. Go away. Ninja can stay though," I grumble out my words, keeping my eyes closed because I just don't wanna.
Aleko chuckles, then the feel of his soft lips press against my forehead, my cheeks, my mouth, and my nose. "C'mon. We have to go and see the doc."
I groan, knowing we already talked about this last night. He's insisting we go to see the doctor right away, so we can better plan and prepare for our new arrival. After Aleko spent most of the night practically worshiping my body, I agreed we'd do it today before we announce it to anyone. I'm looking forward to telling Mom she's going to be a grandma. When I was younger, I distinctly remember her and Dad discussing it once, and how excited they were with the thought of spoiling their grandkids someday since Jake was well on his way to adulthood.
The fact that my baby's only got one grandparent is upsetting, but I know Mom and I will be able to tell the little bump all kinds of stories about Dad. On the other hand, I doubt Aleko will want to divulge anything from his family, considering the whole Greek mafia thing he told me about one night when I couldn't sleep.
Although I'm not exactly innocent these days; I broke the law and have a fake identity. To the law, I'm no longer Mackenzie Wilson, I'm Scarlet Green. My fake IDs are great, I mean, they were good enough for me to see Aleko as a visitor in jail, but it feels wrong to use them for this. For this baby's mom to be listed as Scarlet Green is like a kick in the teeth, but of course, Aleko has a solution.
The doctor we're seeing is the Sons of Khaos club doc. He's on their payroll for any medical needs that the law doesn't need to know about. I have no idea how it's all going to work, but I'm rolling with it.
I'd rather it wasn't at whatever stupid time it feels like right now, but as I open my eyes to Aleko's smiling face with the feel of Ninja snuggled into my neck, I'm not going to complain.
"Here, drink this and put those on. I've already got the keys to Vanessa's truck." Aleko holds a glass of orange juice over me, waiting for me to sit up and take it, then he plants a firm kiss on my lips and practically jumps off the bed. He throws a pair of pale blue sweats and one of his black SOK T-shirts at my now-bare legs, because of course, he's pulled the sheets off, making me squeal.
I can't be mad, it's endearing. Fucking beautiful, in fact, how excited he is about this.
An hour later, we're sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be seen, while Ninja is living his best life having a play-date with Crow in the SOK garage. There was no appointment booked, but Aleko insisted we do this today and the doc agreed when he realized he was dealing with the Sons of Khaos Enforcer.
"Mr. and Mrs. Kastellanos?" A nurse calls from the reception area, smiling as Aleko and I stand to follow her through to the doctor's office.
"Mr. and Mrs.?" I whisper as we walk hand in hand behind the nurse down the hallway.
"Soon, baby." Aleko winks, pushing me into the room before him, ever the gentleman.
The appointment goes as expected, and I answer any questions about my last period and how I've been feeling recently—which isn't any different so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones because I hear morning sickness sucks. But maybe that's still to come? Ugh. The joys.
After rolling the ultrasound machine over to the bed I'm lying on, the doctor instructs me to lift my T-shirt and lower my pants a little before squeezing on some really cold gel. He takes a few minutes rubbing the stick across my stomach, typing something on his screen, then looking at his date chart.
"Looks like we're already in your second trimester, Mrs. Kastellanos. You're fourteen weeks along. Congratulations. Would you like to know the sex?"
"Yes!"
"No!"
Aleko and I answer at the same time, and I understand his excitement, but fourteen weeks is over three months ago… before I fake died… around the same time as… oh God. There's a chance that Aleko isn't… I think I space out for a moment because my ears start ringing as I try to do the math. Tears begin to burn behind my eyes and I look at the amazing man beside me, gripping my hand so tightly I think he knows too. Seconds pass, where I think we both stop breathing, before Aleko's expression softens and determination sets in.
"Cherry, baby? I see you. And it's a null point. This baby's ours. Okay? Me and you."
I focus on Aleko, my rock, my shining star, and wonder how I got so lucky. I nod gently, but I'm going to need some more convincing because my good luck seems to come with consequences of the fucked up kind. Which reminds me…
"Can you write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope, please, Doc?" I look up at Aleko, eyes brimming with unshed tears and a goofy smile that makes him seem ten years younger. "Babe, we should maybe…?"
Our gazes lock and his brow cocks up. Gone is his smile, a smirk firmly in its place.
"Ain't worried, Cherry. My sperm can outrun any of those fuckers. But if it makes you feel better, then take whatever you need."
In sync, we meet our doctor's gaze as one and ask him to put our minds at ease.
"Of course, I'll get two envelopes ready for you, one with the reveal and the other with a few pictures from the ultrasound. When we're done here, I'll have the nurse take your blood and a swab from Dad. Now, let me just turn the sound on here."
"Oh, God." My hand automatically flies to my mouth in shock at the steady beat coming through the speakers, and the doctor turns the monitor around to show us the tiny blob.
"My sweet Cherry Pie. I fucking love you, and I love our baby." Aleko grips my hand, bringing it to his lips and holding it against them. I can feel him trembling along with me. His hold is tight, and I get it; this is scary as shit, but we're in it together.
Tears prick my eyes and I decide that no matter who this baby's bio-dad turns out to be, they will have the best life full of love with Aleko as their dad.
There are just a few things we need to do first, to make this world a safer place for the baby growing inside me.