Chapter One

"Sir, you can't go in there!" Some five-foot-nothing little woman practically jumps over her desk to keep me from seeing my girl, but Bear catches her in flight and sits her back down with a gentle pat on her head.

"The fuck I can't." I'm barreling through the hospital, looking at the signs that point to the morgue when a security guard who looks like he's got a bigger addiction to donuts than the gym does a decent job of getting in my way.

"Personnel only." His voice is deep and would be scary as fuck if I weren't pumped full of adrenaline and grief.

"I don't give a shit if it's for the fucking president of this motherfucking country. Get out of my fucking way." The guy, bless his soul, barely has time to reach for me before I've punched him in the throat then elbowed him in the gut. The bigger they are and all that shit.

"Stay down!" I hear Bear roar just as I push through the double doors, instantly attacked by the unmistakable and overpowering scent of disinfectant, as if it could remotely mask the smell of death.

It really fucking cannot.

My head is turning left then right, looking down the perpendicular hallways as I pass them, following what feels like a fucking neon sign toward the one place I never thought I'd have to go… not for her.

My body is so fucking amped up that I'm able to ignore that piercing stab of pain in my chest, the one that has been repeatedly going at me since Mackenzie laid in my arms, motionless. Lifeless. Long enough to punch my brother in the face for not keeping his promise. Deep inside, I knew it wasn't his fault. Mac is too stubborn for her own good.

Was.

She was stubborn. Oh, fuck. It's like being stabbed in the chest over and over again.

"Fuuuuuck!" My cry echoes throughout the corridor, two, then three orderlies coming at us but, at this point, Bear is just playing football, tackling them away from me so I can get to my destination.

The last door on the right.

It's just feet away, but my body freezes like I've hit an invisible titanium wall. I can't move. I can't even fucking breathe at this point. It's like my brain knows that going in there will make it all real. If I walk into that cold chamber of death and she's there, I won't be able to pretend this is all a fucking nightmare. I won't be able to pretend that I'll eventually wake up and hug her warm body to mine.

"Come on, man. They're going to send more linebacker-sized motherfuckers in here, and I may be big, but I ain't that big, brother."

Swiveling my head to the side, I look at Bear, taking in his strong, reliable features. Those big brown eyes have so much soul in them, it's like he communicates his emotions without having to speak, and in that millisecond I realize he's the only reason I'm not losing my fucking mind.

Well, that"s debatable.

At this point, all I want is my Cherry Pie back in my arms again, I don't care how it happens.

"Shit's gonna hit the fan if she's in there."

Slowly, Bear's head motions up and down, eyes fixed on the small windows at the top of the double doors. "Yeah. But you know, my mama used to say: These are the moments that define a man."

I frown. That sounds way too fucking airy for his mom.

"Really? I thought she was more down to earth than that."

"Nah, man. She'd tell me to grow a spine and get shit done." Ah, that's more like it.

"Grow a spine and get shit done," I repeat like a mantra until my right foot is able to cross the invisible barrier keeping me from Mackenzie.

"Yeah, brother. Let's grow a spine, then we can get shit done with a multitude of explosives." I grin but my heart is cracking from the base to the very top where my aorta pumps the blood to my entire fucking body.

"Fuck." We both burst through the doors and are greeted by a tall, lanky dude wearing a white coat and blue latex gloves.

It's impossible to tell if the sudden noise of us entering or the fact that two pissed off big dudes are suddenly at the entrance of his morgue is the reason for him jumping high enough to slam dunk a basketball. But he does, and the shock on his face would be fucking hilarious if I weren't completely anchored to the floor with my lungs unable to catch a breath.

"Shit." I almost miss Bear's curse but he's so close to me that it permeates through my haze of disbelief.

Lying there, naked save for a white sheet covering her from chest to upper thighs, is Mackenzie.

My Mackenzie.

Her skin tone is all wrong, the blue tint like a placid lake in the winter cold. Her normally blonde hair is slicked back, darker, like she's just stepped out of her shower and is sleeping off a twelve hour shift. It's all wrong. All of it. Every fucking color on her is a fucking lie.

Have her features ever been so peaceful and relaxed? Has her body ever been so… quiet?

My head is shaking no, like my mind and my heart are at war trying to convince the other of what is happening on that cold, metal table. It's all wrong. All fucking wrong. She should be lying on a big-ass bed with me covering her body and fucking her until her throat is sore from calling my name.

We should be laughing and planning our day.

We should be teaching new tricks to Ninja while I watch her giggle every time his nose tickles her skin.

We should be happy, living life the way fate had intended.

Not this.

Not this.

It's all fucking wrong.

"Dude, I don't know what you were about to do but I suggest you move away." My eyes dart up to see the guy standing by Mackenzie is holding a scalpel.

A wave of heat runs like wildfire through my veins and everything I see has a red hue at the edges, quickly filling in to the middle.

"What's your name, man?" Bear is talking, one hand on my shoulder holding me back as I try to make my way to this motherfucker who thinks he can cut into my girl.

"S-s-s-tev-v-en…"

"Well, Steven, I think you should step away before…" Bear pauses as I lean in like an animal smelling fresh blood. "Someone kills you."

"I-I-I c-c-can't. You… you shouldn't be here." Bear is full on holding me back, his big-ass arms wrapped around my chest so I don't fucking kill this guy with a goddamn knife so close to my girl. "Security will be here soon, you s-sh-sh-ould leave." Dude has balls. Not for long ‘cause I'm about to rip them off, but he's got them.

"Aleko." I turn around so fucking fast at the sound of my name that I almost dislocate every joint in my body. "You can't touch him, man. You need to go." I recognize the face and I recognize the voice but my mind is refusing to add all the puzzle pieces together.

Standing there is Spencer, Mackenzie's best friend, red-rimmed eyes telling me more than I really want to know. It's then that I notice his uniform.

"You were working tonight?" I ask, like it's even relevant right now. Except, my brain can only handle information that won't send me into a fucking tailspin.

"Yes. I picked up an extra shift."

I nod like I give a fuck.

Suddenly, my need to pummel the guy who, thankfully, put the fucking scalpel down, is gone because the only thing that matters is her.

Shaking Bear off, I free myself from his hold and in three steps I'm lying across the love of my life. There's no movement, no chuckle, no rise and fall of her chest. There's nothing. No reaction except for the last shard of my heart shattering into a million pieces.

"She's not as cold as she looks." I don't know why I say this but it feels like someone should know that. That maybe I should know that.

"Come on, man, security is going to be here and you'll end up in jail." Bear pulls me off and in a haze of disbelief and pure, unhindered agony, I let him.

"I'll get in touch," is the last thing I hear from Spencer before we walk out of the morgue.

Without her.

Without the one person I love more than anyone or anything.

The ride back to the compound is a blur. Bear mentioned something about Vanessa calling, saying she had Ninja with her and would take care of him until I got back. It's a good thing, too, because in my state I'm not sure I'd have the mental capacity to take care of anything… least of all myself.

It's the middle of the night when we finally park the bikes in our garages, I don't bother with my ritual of wiping down Philia, it doesn't fucking matter at this point. Nothing does. No, that's not true. One thing does matter but that's going to have to wait… for now.

"Prez called an emergency meeting…" He looks at his phone then back up to me as I put my helmet on the gas tank. "In fifteen minutes." I nod before making the mistake of looking up at my brother.

"I'm gonna go take a piss, wash my hands and face. I'll be right there." We lock eyes and I'm not sure what he sees in mine but his worry is swimming in his dark irises. "Christ, I'm fine, Bear. It's not like I'm going to off myself or some shit."

I don't know what I was expecting but the clenching of his jaw is not it. Does he seriously think I'd just take a gun to my head and what? Leave Mackenzie's death unanswered? I ain't no fucking Romeo. If I meet my death, it'll be while avenging hers.

But he doesn't need to know that. Bear needs to believe that I'm fine, I'm dealing. Grieving, yes, because that's normal and I have to prove to him that I'm being reasonable.

"You sure?"

"Fuck off, Bear." I turn and walk away without giving him a backward glance. I've got fifteen minutes before he starts asking questions. Time to get moving.

While my best friend goes straight to the bar, I head to my room, veering last minute once I'm out of sight so I can jog down to the far end storage unit where our heavy artillery is locked up. Before leaving the garage, I grabbed a backpack big enough to stock up on everything I'll need for the next few hours.

My adrenaline is pumping so fast that I'm barely winded by the time I reach the storage unit, unlock it, and roll it open. There's no need to search for long; I know exactly where we hid the explosives.

Filling up my bag, I pull up my hoodie and step outside, closing up behind me and running back to where Vanessa keeps her truck. It's old enough that hotwiring it is as easy as most Khunts at the clubhouse.

The goal is to get as far as possible before anyone notices I'm gone because none of my brothers are idiots, especially not Bear. As soon as church begins and I'm not there, they'll be on their bikes and hot on my tail. Hopefully, by the time they catch up to me, the deed will be done. The rest I'll figure out later.

Once I'm on Highway 17, I push the old pickup to its limits, knowing Vanessa is going to rip me a new one if I break her baby down. I can't imagine why a piece of junk like this could have such a hold on her. It's fucking weird.

Switching off the lights once I reach the entrance of the Rebels' trailer park, I dig into my jacket pocket and pull out a sucker. The cherry flavor soothes my nerves, centers me for what I'm about to do. For her.

As I step out of the truck, I notice how quiet it is. Why aren't they out there avenging their VP's death? What the fuck is wrong with these people? Then again, they raped and beat the love of my life until only a carcass of her true self was left… then they killed her.

Karma is coming for you, assholes.

Keeping to the shadows, I trot along the side of the property until I reach the hole in the fence where I could go in and out of Mackenzie's trailer when she still lived here. At the sight of her plants, my teeth crunch down on the sucker, the memories almost bringing me to my knees, knowing all this was her way out; the poison to slowly kill them all without getting the blame for their deaths.

Fuck. I push my emotions to the side because I don't fucking have time to lose my shit. Instead, I crouch down and make my way to the center of the lot, making sure no one is around when I cross over to the trailer in the center—their clubhouse—and make quick work of placing the first explosives under the aluminum siding. Once that's over, I sprint to their Prez's trailer because that motherfucker doesn't deserve oxygen. He does, however, deserve to be blown to kingdom fucking come, and I will light a joint in celebration.

All three bombs are hooked up to my phone app, the one Python built for us a few months ago. The satisfaction I'll get watching their shitty little piece of the world blow up will be priceless.

With the last bomb in hand, I run to the entrance where a whole row of bikes are parked.

I'm taking the explosive out of my bag just as an entire cavalry of cop cars skids into the compound, headlights suddenly on as well as their lightbars dancing from one side to the other. I'm too stunned to move. Too confused as to why the fuck there are so many cops here. For me? Am I that predictable?

Probably.

"Freeze!"

I carefully place the explosive on the ground, the stick from the sucker bumping against my tongue ring as I rise to my full height and grin.

Here we go again.