Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Toni

If I had a thousand hours to come up with the way to describe how this feels, I probably couldn't do it. In fact, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to do it. I go from terrified to secure. I go from freaked out to safe, and I just don't have any real way to grasp the situation.

Of course, since I'm trying to guide Vance's cock to the tiny, untouched opening of my bum; I guess my mind is going to find it hard to grasp anything at all right now.

Yeah, I know. It's silly right. I mean, this is only our third time together, and out of nowhere, I decide I need to give him my backdoor? What the hell is up with that, right? But I lift myself up so his cock slips out of my pussy and guide it to the little rosebud opening.

But he pulls me down to him and kisses me. I don't think he knows where I intend to put it because he rolls us over and slips back inside of my pussy. He kisses me passionately, and this position feels so… I just…

Wow.

Wow bigtime.

I'm a curvy girl. I'm not hung up on my appearance and I don't sit around feeling bad about my appearance but I'm also not an idiot. I know that men treat girls that look like me in one way and girls that look like skinny supermodels in a different way.

Missionary position is for skinny girls.

Sweet, passionate, slow sex is for skinny girls. Please don't get all pissed off at me for saying that. I'm not trying to be down on myself, and I'm not saying that only skinny girls deserve to have missionary sex. I'm just saying that girls like me don't get it.

Except I do.

Vance gives it to me, and it's incredible to feel his weight atop me and to experience the intimacy of the situation.

Oh, sorry. In case you think I'm crazy, I guess I should say it's our third day together but not our third time having sex. I mean, I think we had actual instances of sex six or seven times between me freaking out and him staying the night at my place and when he checked me into this hotel room.

Then, there were four kinds of crazy days. He went to work and the manager of the hotel informed me that I had a driver who would escort me to work and wait for me. After a few minutes, I learned that the driver was really a bodyguard.

Yeah.

And the man hinted that Vance is one of the owners of the hotel.

Anyway, I guess the point of all that is really just that I feel safe and secure because of Vance even when he's not directly present with me. So, I'm naturally really eager for him to get here and kind of attack him when he does. I swear I've never gotten naked so quickly in my life!

And I guess that's my whole answer for the anal sex things, too. I want to give him something I haven't given to anyone else. It's that simple. I want to give him something nobody else has gotten and, I think, nobody else ever will. I don't know.

Is it too soon to be in love with him?

Well, of course, it is. Anyone can tell I'm just traumatized, right? I think I'm in love with him because I felt very afraid and then he made me feel safe and secure. Well, maybe that's true. But he's also sleeping with me in a missionary position. I've never felt so wonderfully, happily intimate in my entire life. It has to be the most beautiful experience ever.

Bar none.

His weight on top of me feels so damned good!

I keep moving my hands and it's strange because I'm desperately drawn to his face. I want to cradle it in my hands and kiss him, hold him. I want to kiss him. I want to experience him. I want… I want to give him everything.

I push him back but take hold of his cock and stroke it so he knows I'm not stopping us.

Then, I flip over and lift my ass up. He moves forward and I feel his cock against my pussy but I take hold of it and move it up. He hesitates. "Are you sure?"

"Shut up," I breathe out, "I'm yours. Take what's yours."

That's a mistake.

He thrusts forward and bursts right past whatever resistance my tiny little resistant right of muscle might offer. It's breathtakingly painful. My first thought is that I'm grateful my face is turned the other way so he can't see my horrified, agonized expression. My second thought is that it was stupid to talk to him the way I did.

Take it slow.

I'm sure. Just be careful.

I want to try.

Yeah, those make sense. None of them sound like Ram that cock into my virgin ass like you hate me . But Shut up and take what's yours sure as hell does!

And just like that, I go from eager and happy to desperately trying to make sure I offer no reaction at all so he has no idea what he's done. It's hard, too, because I want to start weeping when it occurs to me that all I experience right now comes from just one terrible thrust!

One!

For the love of all that's good and holy, what's going to happen with the next one? I think I'm going to lose my battle to keep from crying. He takes hold of my rear end, gripping me tightly enough it might hurt me if I wasn't already hurting so much that I can't really feel it at all. Then, he pulls back, and the relieve that I feel is so profound as he slides backward that I breathe out, "Oh… yes… oh!"

And, naturally, he thinks that means I'm excited about the anal sex.

So, he thrusts back in, and it's agonizing again. He withdraws and I'm relieved again and then there's another agonizing thrust and…

Except it's not.

The third thrust doesn't hurt. Or, at least, any pain is just the lingering pain from that first thrust. I guess it makes me a little weird but I find that I like the pain now. I like the pain that remains. It's just a shadow of before. I think I like it just because it's a reminder to me of where Vance's cock is. I'm giving him something nobody else has gotten.

And I move against him.

I fucking move against him to increase the stimulation I receive from his thrusts!

This is such a damned crazy, eye-opening thing for me. Missionary position is eye-opening. This is eye-opening. Just having a man turned on by my body is eye-opening. So, what the hell is happening to me in that I can have my eyes opened constantly by this man?

I don't care what's happening. All I care about is having him with me right at this very moment.

And I do. He's here with me in the most beautifully breathtaking way.

I can't believe I just called anal sex beautifully breathtaking but it is. After, we shower and then he orders us room service. When we sit down to eat, I finally get around to asking the question. "I've been away from home for almost a week now. What is going on? What aren't you telling me about Maxwell?"

So, he tells me.