Chapter 1

Chapter One

Toni

I'm wrong. I'm sure I'm wrong.

But I still walk a little more quickly than I need to. I guess I'm thinking about when I was a little girl and I was told time and time again that if I found myself dealing with an aggressive wild animal, I shouldn't turn my back on it or run from it.

Well, I'm not dealing with an aggressive wild animal and I'm not even sure Maxwell is anywhere near me. If he is, though, he's behind me. That's the problem. If I turn around to check, I let him know I know he's there.

I mean, I only think he's there but you get the point.

Damn it. This is exactly the kind of crap I don't want in my life. This is the exact kind of crap that made me decide Maxwell wasn't my cup of tea.

Or soda pop. Or coffee. Or wine. Or any other damned drink.

I'm nervous and lost in thought so for a second, I feel sure I've gone past my street. I stop to look around but when I stop the sound of footsteps behind me is unmistakable. There are only three or four steps but it's certain. Someone's following me.

Maxwell. Maxwell is following me.

Well, I panic and I take off at full speed. Oddly, the panic gives me some clarity. I haven't walked past my street. The Nelson's house, the one with the ivy-covered fence approaches and then disappears behind me on the left. My street is a block ahead.

I know he's running behind me.

I know he's following me.

And since I'm running, he has no reason to play games anymore. He can just do whatever terrible thing he intends to do. I can feel tears falling but I keep myself silent. If I can't keep myself from weeping, I can at least make sure I'm quiet enough that the sonofabitch behind me doesn't get any satisfaction out of it.

I make it to my corner and duck under the branch on Barb Thompson's tree. No. Not Barb anymore. Barb went to Oregon to live near her daughter. Who has the house now? "I don't know," I whimper. "Please…" Who the hell am I talking to?

My heart is just going crazy. I mean, I think it might be beating harder than it ever has before. I feel jittery and uncoordinated. My absolute resolve to keep from weeping aloud isn't enough. I end up sobbing pretty damned loudly in fact. I hate that.

Of course, there are a million things to hate at the moment anyway.

I rush as fast as I can. My foot twists and my left shoe slips off. I fight my near uncontrollable urge to stop and get my shoe situated. The fact that the shoe is cheap, one-half of a thirty-dollar pair, doesn't matter to me. If the shoe was a fifty-cent flip-flop from the dollar store I'd still feel like I have to stop and pick it up.

But I'm too afraid of stopping.

I rush forward and I'm thrilled to hear the sound of Vance's fountain. My neighbor has a very elegant water fountain in his front yard, part of the beautiful landscaping. I'm almost home. I'm in a blind panic so it's probably my imagination but I still think I'm hearing loud footsteps running behind me. My lights come on. They're motion sensors. I rush up my driveway to the front door and try to get my key into the lock.

Naturally, I drop my keychain.

"No!" I scream. "No!"

I can't get my hands to work. "Damn it. Damn it!" I search for the keys in the dim light from my front porch lantern. Damn it! "Why didn't you replace the fucking light like you were going to?"Okay, well now, I know I'm talking to me.

I finally see my keys, blending into the pattern on my stupid doormat. I grab them with hands that are shaking so bad the keys jingle like Christmas bells on Santa's sleigh.I'm just crying like an idiot now, damn it all.

I drop them again. "For fucks' sake!" This would be funny if I were watching this in a theater with popcorn in my lap. But this is the farthest thing from funny I can imagine.

I can imagine Maxwell going crazy on me, though. I picture his strange smile and how his eyes glared like they had some kind of heat all their own. He was so possessive from the first second he sat down. Fuck!

I can't find them, I can't see them anywhere, and I'm pacing all over my front porch, trying to see in the dark and also trying to listen for any sound that would tell me the crazy bastard was about to attack me.

I think I see them almost to the edge of my porch just out of the little circle of light. I reach down, my God my hands are shaking so bad now, and I just about have them.

And then a hand grabs my shoulder.

"Fuck you! No! No! You fucking bastard! Leave me the fuck alone!" I swing my arm wildly in front of me with my key ready to stab. I'm sobbing so hard I begin to hiccup. This is some kind of awful nightmare.

Now, two hands grab me and I begin to kick and punch and lean in for a bite.

"Toni!"

I swing my right arm hard but the person ducks. We fall into the circle of light.

"Toni, what's wrong?"

Oh God, it isn't him. It isn't him!

It's my neighbor, Vance. As my mind records that this is not Maxwell, I try to calm down but the adrenaline isn't ready to let go. I start sobbing again and Vance pulls me to him.

He's a tall, muscular guy, but honestly so is Maxwell. In the dark and in the middle of panicking, I simply confused the two. I wish I hadn't. In real life, Vance is a badass fireman and Maxwell is just a fucking creep.

All this runs through my head at lightning speed as I slowly come to my senses while Vance kindly holds me and helps me settle down. He takes my keys from my still jittering hand and opens my front door. He walks me inside and sets me down on my couch. "I'm going to just get you a drink, okay? I'm not going far."

I nod. A rush of fear hits me as he leaves, though, so that, when he comes back from my kitchen with a glass of water I'm crying again. He sets the glass on my coffee table and sits down next to me. Then, he pulls me back into his arms and smooths my hair, rocking me a bit like a little child.

"Shhh, Toni, it's okay, it's okay. I'm going nowhere, I promise. It's okay."

I eventually stop crying but I'm still shaking. "I'm, uh, I'm so so...sorry."

"No being sorry." He slowly lets me go so he can look at me directly. "Tell me what's wrong."

I look at him and then, look away. "I feel so stupid. I can take care of myself."

His voice is calm and soothing. "You are not stupid for being afraid."

I laugh-cry. "Well, I'm the one who went on the blind date! I mean, I should be more careful, right?"

"Toni, you did nothing wrong. So, tell me about this blind date."

I start to tell him about my date with Maxwell. It was set up through some new dating app that was giving free hook-ups as a beta test. "Well, he was just creepy from the get-go, you know? How he looked at me, what he said, everything. Even how he stood or ordered the food, everything was like a weird control thing."

Vance nods and hands me the glass of water. I sip at it and continue. "And the weirdest thing was how he kept going back to mentioning my body type, how my hips were made for childbearing. It fucking really creeped me out, but I just ended the date with a quick hug and thought it was over.

"But that was three weeks ago and it's been getting worse and worse. Like, right after the date, the very next day, he showed up at my work. At my work! I hadn't even mentioned where I worked. I hadn't said much of anything because he just talked and talked. He loved the sound of his own fucking voice."

My hands are shaking again and the water sloshes out of the glass onto my knees. Gently, Vance takes it from me and puts it back on the table.

He gives me time to gather my thoughts and pull my emotions back and then, I tell him the rest.