Chapter 1

One

Kami

" I should get one of those folding board thingies." I carefully tucked a winter white sweater on top of the clothes already packed in my suitcase.

"A folding board thingy?"

My gaze shot to Asha where she sprawled against the pillows on my bed. Willa, my black and white tuxedo cat was tucked into her side, eyes at half-mast and purring as Asha scratched her between her ears.

I pressed my lips together and returned to packing. That damn cat would be thrilled to have my best friend in charge of her care and feeding for the next week. I'd never really been a cat person and definitely never planned to get one. But Willa already occupied this apartment when I moved in, a fact my landlord failed to mention until he handed over the keys and a bag of kitty litter.

From what I'd been able to figure out, Willa belonged to the elderly woman who lived here before me. When she moved into an assisted living facility, her family packed up all of her possessions—all except poor little Willa. And she's been a grumpy cat since then.

I'd called the local humane society to see if they had room for the lazy femine. When they told me the likelihood of a middle-aged housecat getting adopted, and what her fate would be if she were left in the shelter too long, I decided she and I could find a way to live amicably together.

But when she met Asha, it was love at first sight. They'd connected instantly, and if my best friend's building allowed pets, I had no doubt she'd have absconded with my cat by now.

"Hello! Earth to Kami. Folding board thingy?"

I shook off my rambling thoughts. I'd allowed my mind to wade through junk thoughts to keep it off the topic I most wanted to avoid—my upcoming trip back home.

"You know. Those plastic boards they have at retail stores that you can use to perfectly fold shirts and sweaters."

Asha snorted and eased away from Willa, sliding off the bed. "Like you need help keeping things perfect."

I glanced down at my open suitcase and my lips twisted into a wry smile. I shot Asha a sheepish look and she had no problem with laughing at me.

She threw an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me close to her side. "Relax, sweetie. Everything will be fine. I can't believe you're getting this worked up over traveling. You're an old pro at this."

She wasn't wrong. My wedding planning business was well-known for the extravagant destination weddings I orchestrated. But the destinations I frequented tended to be tropical beaches or major cities. I'd never been hired to do a wedding like this one. Least of all the last place I wanted to return.

I tilted my head and let it fall on Asha's shoulder. "I can't believe I agreed to do a wedding in Hartwood, Alaska."

Asha nudged me with her shoulder. "It could be fun. Maybe you'll get snowed in with some rugged hottie and he'll help break the sheet of ice you've wrapped yourself in."

I threw her a hard look and she raised her hands in defense. "But am I wrong? You and I both know you could use some one on one with a hunk packing some nice junk."

I got a saucy wink.

She's not wrong, but not for the reasons she thinks. The last time I let a rugged hottie slide my panties down I lost my heart and for a good long while I lost all sense of purpose. I saw our future together when he saw me as his last quest before leaving our town.

Hence, why I now lived across the country and not even remotely close to where he could be found.

I held back my shudder.

There was a good reason I avoided Alaska at all costs. One I hadn't even shared with my closest friend. The only reason I agreed to it this time was because Asha's sister was getting married and she wanted nothing else but a wild, untamed wedding. Once she found out where I spent my childhood she set her heart on having a magical wedding in my small mountain town. There was no talking her out of it.

She and her fiancé thrived on being outside. I'd hoped a beach wedding in some tropical paradise would do the trick. But they were emphatic. They wanted something off the beaten trail in my hometown.

So off I went to Hartwood, Alaska—home of wilderness, outdoor adventure, and an insanely large number of the country's rugged hotties in plaid. And one in particular. My high school sweetheart and the man who left me for the Navy.

It still stings to think about it seven years later.

I sighed, shoved down my mental rumblings and hastily zipped my suitcase closed. Hefting it off my bed, I glanced around the room.

"I hope I packed enough." I placed the suitcase by the bedroom door next to a smaller, matching case.

Asha laughed. "You're going home sweetie. A few pairs of jeans, hiking boots, and some warm layers would have done the trick. I can't even imagine what you crammed into not one, but two, suitcases. You haven't been gone that long!"

I shrugged. Seven years is a long time to me and my tastes have changed considerably. Now I prided myself on being prepared for every occasion. That was true whether I was striding down a Manhattan street or trekking through the wilds of my home town. Bad enough I had to go at all. I would not be caught unprepared for whatever life threw at me.

I strode over to the bed and straightened the wrinkles in the comforter.

"I don't know why you're bothering with that," Asha said with a laugh. "Willa and I are just going to mess it up again when we have cuddle time after you leave."

I ignored the little pang of jealousy that pinged through me at the thought of Asha and Willa snuggling together. I'm the one who fed the trouble-making furball and cleaned her kitty litter. Shoving it away, I arched a brow at my friend. "You know I like things neat so don't be video calling me from my wrinkled bed."

Her tinkling, contagious laugh rang out. "Oh, honey, believe me, I know. Everyone with a view into your apartment windows knows."

My shoulders stiffened. "What? There's nothing wrong with keeping my house clean."

"Clean? No, there's nothing wrong with clean." Asha came over to me and slung her arm around me again. "But you take it to a whole new level. I might actually eat off your floor after you leave and video call you the whole time. How's that?"

My shoulders dropped and I leaned my weight into Asha. I couldn't help it when the corner of my mouth started twitching as I tried to fight off a smile. The woman was not wrong. And as much as I liked my life to be as neat and orderly and organized as possible, it didn't mean I couldn't appreciate the fact I was a bit over the top about it.

"Is that your way of letting me know my house won't be as clean when I return as it was when I left?" I teased Asha. If I was the epitome of a clean freak, she was my polar opposite. I'd seen the woman wreck her kitchen from one end to the other just making a sandwich.

But it was one of the reasons I loved her so much. She was the only person in my life who made me feel comfortable enough to show all my little quirks and habits. She was also the only person in my life who regularly slung an arm around me, snuggled with me, and made me feel like a normal person.

Guess I could understand why my cat loved her so much.

"All I'm willing to promise is that your apartment will still be here when you get back." Asha gave me a squeeze and purposefully flipped up the corner edge of my bed's comforter just to annoy me.

"Brat!" I admonish with a laugh.

"You bet I am," she quipped with a hearty laugh.

I huffed out a breath. "I guess I'll have to live with your mess."

"Just think, you can look forward to all the cleaning you get to do when you get back." She offered me her lopsided grin.

"Great." I acted put out, but sad to say, cleaning was one of the best ways I knew to work off tension.

She hip checked me. "A little mess is good for you. I think you could use more mess in your life."

I shook my head. The mess I'd find when I returned home from my trip was about the worst I was willing to deal with. I'd carefully set up my life to avoid messes. The last one I had nearly did me in.

"I'm good," I said.

"You aren't. Everything is always so orderly. You need a mess. You need a man. You need a few things to add some disorder to your life."

I wrinkled my nose at her. "A man would just invade my space and leave chaos everywhere."

"Exactly."

"No, thanks. I'm good," I repeated.

"I know you try to avoid messes, but life is messy, sweetie. When you avoid the bad messy, you miss out on the good messy, too."

I held back a sigh. We'd had this conversation before, but right now I thought the trip to Alaska was messier than I wanted to handle. Adding anything else on top of it was torture.

I kept my tone as light as possible when I responded. "There's no such thing as good messy."

Asha's expression turned unusually serious. Her gaze searched mine.

Seeing the concern behind her eyes, the smile I offered her was genuine. "Hey, don't worry. My life is exactly how I like it."

"That's what I worry about. Your life is too perfectly planned and organized. I'm afraid of what will happen if something comes along to rock the boat."

My chest constricted at her words. She'd just put a voice to my worst fears. My boat had been more than rocked before. More like capsized, blown to smithereens and buried at the bottom of the ocean. So I'd carefully constructed my life so that never happened again.

But Asha didn't need all those messy details of why I sought out a life in a big city Like New York City instead of staying back home. I was happy she was willing to put up with me with all she already knew. If I laid the rest of my pathetic baggage on her, she might run screaming in the opposite direction.

I couldn't even contemplate that. Asha was right. I needed a little messy in my life. The good kind of messy. The kind that offered warm hugs, liked to tease, and snuggled with my snobbish cat. Asha was my messy, and I couldn't imagine how sterile my life would be without her.

I pulled in a deep breath and squared my shoulders. Time to let go of my unusual introspection and focus on the next steps I needed to take to get this wedding planned and get out of Alaska as soon as humanly possible with no one the wiser.

I threw Asha an affectionate smile. "You rock my boat on a regular basis. Did you see what my kitchen looked like after you toasted your bagel this morning?"

Her eyes stayed serious, her gaze lingering on my face. Then the clouds cleared and she beamed at me. "I did it for you. So you could work off some of your nervous energy with a little elbow grease."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes at her and she responded by sticking out her tongue.

I slowly released the breath pent up behind a wall of nervousness. I needed Asha to be her usual messy, teasing self. I needed to get my fill before I headed home.

I held back a shiver and pulled from her embrace. I clapped my hands together. "Okay, let's get moving. My luggage isn't going to carry itself to the curb."

I would tackle the next few days one task at a time, get this wedding planned, and come home. And no good-looking Navy SEAL would steer me off course.