Chapter 10

Ten

Kandy

L ord give me the strength. I should have worn my you can't fix stupid shirt today.

I stare at Buzz in utter disbelief. I truly blink to make sure I am not dreaming this up.

But no, the dumbass is really standing in front of me looking like he wants to cry.

The really weird part is, I feel…nothing.

I can't even claim to have thought about pounding his face in or sticking him with a fork if the asshole dared to show his mug in my diner again. Not once. All thanks to Ryder.

Listening to him, my ex makes me just want to cringe and shove him out of the door and on out of my life. What was I thinking when I agreed to marry this douche?

"I'm sorry, Kandy. You have to believe me. I didn't mean to break your heart."

I laugh, shaking my head. Had I been heartbroken? Must not have if seeing Ryder made me burn like a wildfire.

I scan my deeper thoughts and struggle to untangle the tumultuous ball of emotions currently tumbling around inside. But nowhere in there do I find heartbreak. Or if I am being completely honest, love.

Not for Buzz the douche anyway.

Oh, there is affection and maybe a kind of love I could have for a brother. Buzz and I just kind of found one another after he moved here while his parents tried out a farmer's life. In our tiny town, the pickings are slim and how could I have known Ryder would be back?

I always wanted a family of my own and I thought I had to settle for what I could find.

But Buzz's touch doesn't ignite fire under my skin. He never managed more than lukewarm, and my pulse never pumped at the sight of him.

Well, maybe it went up a few notches when I caught sight of him getting a blowjob from my maid of honor.

But he never, not even once since we started dating, made me feel much more than affection. But never the butterflies inside my tummy or the flutter of my heartbeat that should come with love.

When I caught Buzz and Shana on my wedding day, I did feel a lot of things—anger, hurt, fear of the unknown, and disappointment. But if I was being honest, heartbreak never sat on the list.

And staring at him now, I feel a wave of relief. Thank goodness this man isn't my husband. If I'd married him, I would have totally missed out on…

My gaze swings to Ryder.

Emotion after emotion fills me and those damn butterflies I wanted, well they are taking the castle by storm.

I don't have to dig to figure out what I am feeling when around him.

What do they say about time apart and love? It only makes it stronger. Well, ten years seems like nothing and we picked right back up where we left off and then some.

"What do you need, Beautiful?" Ryder askes, the gravel of his voice brushing over my skin in a soft caress.

God, God, God. How could someone who looked like such a complete badass be so sweet?

"Kandy, who is this guy?"

Geez. What a whiner .

"He's none of your business. You lost any right to question anything going on in my life the second you let Shana suck you off."

"God, I'm sorry, Kandy. Sorrier than I can ever tell you."

Something about the pain in his tone gets through to me, and suddenly I have a thought about why he was here. "Things not going so well with Shana?"

My question opens the floodgates. "Kandy, she's the most heinous person I've ever met. I guess I never spent much time with her before…before…well, before." He gestures in front of his zipper and pumps his fist back and forth.

Classy. I hold up my hand. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to stop you right there, Buzz. I definitely don't need details or the…visual after working all weekend to erase you from my memory."

Buzz drops his hand and gives me a sheepish look. "Sorry. But a few months ago she started to come onto me whenever I ran into her. She'd say things like how I was going to disappoint you on our wedding night. How there was nothing more boring than two virgins fumbling around in the dark. Told me I wasn't going to be able to…you know, like, make you come. She offered to teach me."

Well, there goes any sympathy or guilt. "So, Buzz, are you trying to tell me, the reason you cheated on me was for me ?"

Buzz looks like a drowning man. "Exactly. She was helping me let off steam. For our wedding night. You know, so I wouldn't blow before you got the chance to get off."

He looks so pleased with his answer, for the first time in my life I am stunned into silence.

But Ryder fills the void for me—with big booming laughter. Shocked, I whip my head around to look at him. And sure enough, laughter shakes his shoulders.

"Dude, that's got to be the biggest pile of shit I've ever heard." Ryder shakes his head at Buzz. "It's so bad, I almost feel sorry for you. I mean, I've wanted to punch you since before I even knew your name. But now, you sound so pathetic, I feel too bad for you. But damn you?—"

Ryder breaks off and shakes his head. "Nah, I'm still going to hit you."

Before I register his words, Ryder cocks his fist and lets it fly. He did it so effortlessly, it is almost like slow motion—his fist zipping through the air, landing on Buzz's chin, and Buzz swaying and then toppling to the floor, out cold.

My jaw falls open, my eyes darting to Ryder's face.

"Babe, you were really going to marry that guy?" With the flick of his fingers, he gestures to Buzz, still flat out on the floor.

I admit, it was tough to see the appeal at the current moment. "Ryder, he was the only guy my age. I thought he was my only chance at ever getting laid, having a family."

Ryder tugs me into his side. "Looks like I got here just in time, Beautiful. Isn't life funny as hell."

His arm tightens around my shoulders, and his other hand comes up to gently tilt my face up to his. "Look at me." He pauses like he's searching for something before saying, "Just in time, baby." He lowers his lips to press against mine in a sweet way you see in those holiday movies. Not burning or too-hot-to-handle, but just right to warm a girl all the way down to her toes on a cold autumn day.

Fear that he can see everything I am feeling—the love, the lust, the hope—if he looks in my eyes surges through me.

"It's okay, Beautiful. I need you, too." His words are gentle and his eyes convey so much more.

My lips part as my breath leaves me in a rush. I stare at him in confusion as I try not to hope too hard. "What—what are you saying? You're leaving this afternoon. That was the deal we made, Ryder."

"I think it's time we reopen negotiations. Let's start with me sticking around here a little longer than planned. You've failed to comply with pie so I'm going to give you another opportunity to try out all the flavors on me. I saw the new menu options you want to add. I'm not too fond of blueberry, but I'm willing to try again as long as it's made by you."

I blink up at him, equally eager to have him stay and terrified if he does I'll be completely lost. "How much longer do I get for all this pie baking? And what do I get out of this deal other than time in the kitchen? This all seems a little one-sided if you ask me."

"How about forever? And you get everything in my power to give you—me, a home, my name..." He pauses and places one large, warm hand on my belly. "A family."

My breath sticks in my chest and I blink back tears. "You want to stay forever? With me?"

"Who else, Beautiful? I love you. I think I've loved you since that first kiss back in grade school when you gave me your piece of pie your momma packed special just for you."

"Pumpkin. Oh my god, I forgot about that."

"It's been my favorite ever since." He strokes my cheek with the back of his thumb.

"You love me?" My voice is a whisper filled with the wonder at his words.

"Who else can make me laugh like you do? Make me crazy like you do? Make me want to fuck you even when you're making me crazy?"

"Don't mind me," Tommy breaks in from behind Ryder.

Oh my God. I totally forgot we are not alone. Hell, I think I forgot my own name there for a minute.

But Ryder isn't done. "So what do you say, Kandy? Do we have a deal? You and me? Forever?"

I stare into his dark eyes and see everything he feels for me as plain as day. And deep inside them, I see our future. Together.

"We have a deal," I whisper, solemn as any vow.

"Should we seal it with a kiss?" he asks, his voice tinged with laughter and mischief. "Oh, no. I remember what happened last time you made a deal. I'm not falling for that again." I wink at him. "At least not with an audience. What kind of girl do you think I am?"

And with that, he scoops me into his arms. "You're my girl. Later, Tommy. I'll leave you to take out the trash and lock up for us? We have a cozy fire waiting back at the apartment and some pumpkin pie in the fridge."

"Can we try the new whipped cream I made?"

"You know we will, baby, as long as I get to eat my Kandy."