Chapter 25

Jay stepped from the car and waved at Thario. Frog came down the steps, wagging his tail like he was the happiest dog in the world. His little doggy smile made Jay wish he had a dog. He couldn’t do it with his schedule, so he would just have to love on Frog.

He squatted next to Frog, petting his head and loving on him. “Sure, Frog, I’m here for you because you’re the bestest boy in the whole world.” Frog’s mouth pulled back even more like he was smiling. Before meeting Frog, Jay hadn’t known if dogs could smile, but Frog looked incredibly happy he’d come to visit.

“Jay, Sharp, what’s up?” Thario called out.

“Just stopping by to say hello.” Jay stood and started on his way up to the porch, surprised when Thario stood. His foot hung in midair for a second. “Wow, you’re looking good with those legs.”

Thario chuckled. “Still not getting the ladies.”

“They don’t know what they’re missing.”

Worry crossed over Thario’s face. “Anything up? Is Danika okay?”

Sharp nodded. “She’s good. No issues. She wants to make sure you’ll be over on Thanksgiving.”

Thario nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good. Have you taught your dog to get beer for guests?”

Laughter boomed from Thario. “No way. That’s for me. I can’t have him giving away all my beer.”

They all laughed as they headed inside. Jay hadn’t known Thario well before the incident, but knowing Sharp meant Thario was an extension of their get-togethers.

Sharp sobered as soon as they were inside. “I’m here about Jinx.”

“Shit. I knew this was bad news.” Thario pointed at Frog. “Get me a beer.” The dog headed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, pulling out one beer for his master. The dog made Jay laugh, though he didn’t laugh out loud. It wasn’t the time for happiness.

“Yeah. It sucks. His parents have agreed to take him off life support. It didn’t come from any of us. They met with a bereavement therapist, and they decided it was best for Jinx.”

Thario shook his head. “Five more feet forward, and I would be Jinx.”

Sharp nodded, and Jay wondered what that would feel like. He’d been shot, stabbed, punched more than once, attacked, and scared out of his wits, but he’d never seen members of his team killed in front of him. That had to suck in a way he didn’t understand.

Sharp held Thario’s gaze. “I’m thankful for every day I get to be in this world because I know the other four weren’t so lucky.”

Thario lifted his chin. “There wasn’t much luck that day. I was lucky, you were lucky, but the rest weren’t so much.”

“I’ll tell you when the funeral is.”

Thario held out his hand to Sharp. They both stood and shook before ending up in a tight hug. Jay didn’t want to be a part of their club. It sucked that they were now losing another teammate. Jay hadn’t known Jinx well, but the loss still stung. The men on Sharp’s old team had been through enough.

After leaving Thario’s place, Jay felt like his heart had shrunk. Shaking off the weirdness wasn’t as easy as joking with Sharp. The one thing he’d said fell flat.

“Sorry, man. That was a lame thing to say.”

Sharp glanced over and shrugged. “I get it. Losing guys who are just like us sucks. When Danika came into my life again, I had a hard time adjusting. Just knowing I’d lost men hit like a boulder rolling down a hill. It flattened me. I had this irrational, or maybe not irrational, fear that I wouldn’t make it home. It took me a while to feel normal.”

Jay groaned. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“I get that. Ignoring the feeling won’t make it go away. Get it out, then you can deal with it before our next mission.”

“Fuck. Do you think Apple is going to be okay, or will he hold this against me?”

Sharp blew out a harsh breath as he turned to get onto the freeway. “Fuck, I don’t know. What happened to him sucked. I haven’t gone off and looked it up. I thought about asking Thario to look into it, but I don’t want to go behind Apple’s back. If the brass didn’t have a problem with him becoming a SEAL, then whatever it was that happened back then wasn’t a big deal, or Apple’s part wasn’t.”

“You think the brass knows?” Jay asked.

“Oh yeah. They know everything before they let us get into the program. They certainly know enough to force us to fail once we’re in if something comes up.”

Jay nodded and stared out the window. “My parents think I’m stupid.”

Sharp cut him a look, his eyebrows pinched tight. “What?”

“They’re scholars. Like writing papers and giving speeches all over the world type of scholars. They’re super smart. When I didn’t go to college after high school, they almost disowned me. I was searching for acceptance anywhere. I could have easily been caught up with the wrong people. Lucky for me, the people I was surrounded by when I first joined the Navy were father figures. They gave me the acceptance I needed, and they pushed me to improve. That’s why I’m a SEAL. Those old guys—ha, they aren’t that old really—but they believed in me.”

“Joining the Navy saved my hide. So I get you. And yeah, I trust Apple to work this out. I get that he was taken advantage of. I don’t think it will be a problem on missions. He may not warm up to Nichole, but he isn’t going to do anything to fuck us over on missions. He certainly won’t be a dick toward you while we’re operating.”

“Good. That’s what I thought. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t off base.”

“When will Nichole be back?”

He shrugged, wishing she was back already. “I don’t know exactly. She met with a publisher and has a few more things to take care of. I guess I’ll find out when she gets here.”

Sharp pulled off the freeway and turned down the street Jay lived on. He didn’t want to go home and be alone. Telling Thario about Jinx had sucked. He’d gone with Sharp for moral support, but seeing the pain in Thario’s eyes had drained him. He wanted Nichole home so he could hold her and make memories. She was good, and he needed to cling to something that gave him hope.