Chapter 18

Jay didn’t want to scare Nichole away by getting too serious too fast, but this woman made him feel things he’d never felt before. She twisted through him, getting deep into his soul. Before, he’d ignored the feelings and pushed away the longing. Now, with her in his house, he couldn’t ignore the truth.

“It’s wrong of me to want you to stay here.”

Her hand landed on his pec, her palm a warm salve to the wild emotions running through him. “If you leave on a mission, you’d come back, right?” The way her eyebrows raised as she asked made his heart melt.

“As long as I had breath in me.”

“So what would be different about me leaving for an assignment?”

He bit his lower lip and shook his head. “It’s going to make me sound stupid or maybe just shitty.”

She rolled her eyes, looking way cuter than anyone had a right to look when they were annoyed. “Just say it.”

He drew in a slow breath and closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts so he didn’t sound like a jerk. When he opened his eyes, she still looked as annoyed.

“Because I’m nothing special. If you leave, you’ll figure out I’m nothing. I might be a SEAL, and maybe I’m supposed to have this huge ego that doesn’t allow for insecurity, but I know you’ll find people who are much more interesting than I am. You’ll realize I’m nothing, and you’ll walk away. It’s stupid.”

Her eyes softened, and she cupped his face. “Jesse, I can’t make you feel more secure. You have to do that on your own, but if I make a commitment to you, I will honor it.”

“This isn’t want I wanted to do.”

She took a step back, and he wanted to reach out and pull her close again. He needed to explain better.

“I didn’t want to get so serious that I screwed this up. I have these feelings, things I haven’t wanted to admit to myself, and?—”

“When I was being held captive, all I could think of was that I didn’t have a chance to tell you I had feelings for you. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. And it may be silly because we don’t know each other, but I want to get serious with you. I want to do this.”

His heart expanded as her words sank in. She wanted what he wanted. Wanted their relationship to grow and last, and the only way for that to happen was for them to spend time together.

“Can we take this week or weekend, however long you have here, to get to know each other? I don’t want to jump in so fast we don’t have a good foundation.”

The smile on her face warmed him. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her neck, then her jaw over to her mouth. They were entangled again in a passionate embrace. When she lifted her leg and hooked it around his waist, he couldn’t deny her invitation.

Luckily, he had condoms in the bathroom. He rolled one on and took her up against the wall, holding back until she’d had at least one orgasm before he pounded in hard, slaking his need. No way would he just be a taker without giving to her first. He wanted her to experience pleasure, too, and he absolutely loved the faces she made as she came, gasping as her body pulsed from pleasure.

After sex, they pulled on their underwear, and he grabbed one of his T-shirts and tossed it to her. “If you want.”

“Thanks.” She pulled it on over her head, letting the material slip over her breasts and belly. She looked fucking sexy in his shirt and her panties. No question, he was going to be semi-hard while she was around.

They headed out to the kitchen, and he pulled out food to make a sandwich. “Would you like something to eat?”

“Um, what about dinner?”

He turned to face her and leaned against the counter. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s early.”

She nodded. “It is, but if I eat now, I won’t be able to eat dinner.”

“I need to eat something before dinner. I have to be up early and at the base by seven. Usually, we work out in the morning, but not always, so I have to eat before I head out, and then I eat a few meals during the day. I eat dinner around six thirty or seven, but I also have to have a snack after work.”

She nodded. “That’s reasonable.”

“Would you like a sandwich now?”

She shook her head and then shrugged. “Maybe half of one.”

“Sure.”

Being with this woman made him feel all sorts of good. It wasn’t just the sex either. Working with her in the kitchen gave him an incredible amount of pleasure. This was what he’d been missing since he’d first met Nichole. The time they’d shared together at the resort had been amazing. He didn’t want to get too excited about having a real relationship with her because things could fall apart. Heck, they hardly knew each other, but he couldn’t help but feel like she was the woman for him.