Chapter 22

Danika spent the next few days looking for a job while James was at work. His apartment was located in a very residential area, which was great for living, but not so great for finding a job that was close enough to walk to.

While out walking, she found a bus stop not too far from his place and took the bus a few blocks over, where there were restaurants and shops. She spent the afternoon applying for jobs. At one bar, she talked to the owner for about an hour and was offered a job waiting tables during the day. It wasn't the busiest time as far as earning potential went, but she took the job because she needed to earn money, and it was close enough that she only needed one bus ride.

That evening, she told James about her job, and he was happy she'd found something. They celebrated with steaks he cooked on the grill outside and then spent the evening talking about their lives and things that had happened since high school. She hadn't laughed so hard in ages.

James had a great attitude about everything that had happened, and though many of his stories about how he lived after leaving his parents' house were sad, he told them in a way that emphasized the funny side of what happened. She learned that he stole food during the first few months and had almost been caught by the police. It was why he'd joined the Navy. He'd taken bread from a bakery without paying. The police had been called, and he had to hide behind a dumpster. When the guy who worked in the building that the dumpster belonged to came out to toss the trash, he'd discovered James hiding behind the thing.

"Yeah, the guy had tossed the trash and then found me. I was starving, dirty, and probably looked like crap. The bread was the first thing I'd eaten in days, so when I heard him, I jumped up, ready to run. The man was wearing a uniform, and he held up both hands and somehow calmed me down enough that I didn't take off. If I'd run then, I don't know what would have happened to me."

"A uniform? What did he do?"

"He was a Navy recruiter, hence the uniform. So, instead of calling the cops or giving me a lecture, he walked me across the parking lot and ordered me two burgers and fries. I ate every single bite. While I was eating, he asked what I wanted for my future. I told him I didn't want to be in jail, but other than that, I had no clue."

"Dang. You just laid it out," Danika said.

"I did. He asked what happened, like why did I run from home, and I told him that my dad beat me up, and I couldn't stay. I never told anyone the real truth about how he stripped me down in the middle of town and whipped me with his belt. That was just too embarrassing. Anyway, I was seventeen, about to be eighteen in a few weeks. He found a place for me to stay while I waited to turn eighteen. I went to see him every day, and he helped me sign up to take my GED, made sure I had food and helped me with all the paperwork. He saved my life."

"Are you still in contact with him?"

James shook his head. "No. I should probably look him up and tell him what's been going on. I'm sure he'd be glad to know what I've done. Maybe. Or maybe he's retired and living his best life. I hadn't really thought about it."

"I bet he would be happy to hear that you're successful."

James sighed and sat back. "I don't feel successful."

"Why not?"

Pain squeezed his heart, and a haunted look crossed his face. "We were out on a mission, me and my team. I stopped to check my gun and ammunition, then realized I'd loaded the wrong magazine. I took the time to switch it out instead of moving forward with my team. They triggered an explosion. I flew back and hit a tree while three of them died. One guy was badly injured. It's bad. And the other guy lost both of his lower legs and part of his hand. He's a good guy, but his life will never be the same."

She shook her head. "How could that ever be your fault?"

He shrugged. The logic of grief and guilt didn't make sense, and he knew that. But it didn't stop him from feeling deep guilt. "I don't know. I just feel guilty."

"Would you have been leading them if you hadn't stopped?"

"No. I would have been in the back, but closer."

"It wasn't your fault."

He glanced down and stared at his hands, wishing there could have been something he could have done. "I still feel the guilt of surviving."

"Stop," Danika said as she pulled him into a hug. "I bet if you talked to your friends, they would never say you were at fault."

He shook his head. "There are some guys who said it was. I've heard the whispers. It's why I took—it's why I was overseas when I met you. Which is classified, and you can't tell anyone we were in London together."

"Wait, what? I knew you were acting a little sketchy over there, like the whole name thing, but I'm not allowed to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "No, no talking about seeing me in London. My job is complicated. Not even the men I work with now know where I was."

"They don't know at all?"

"No. They don't."

"So you were alone in London?"

He shrugged. "Like I said, some things about my job are tricky. It's not my place to reveal state secrets. I just need to ask you to keep London secret."

She nodded and reached out, cupping his cheek. "Hey, it's not that big of a deal. We're friends from high school. If anyone asks how we met, I can tell the truth and just drop the part about London. I don't really want people to know I was in the UK, anyway. The less that ties me back to that time and him, the better."

"Thank you."

She nodded, thinking his thank you was bigger than just agreeing to not talk about London. "Sure."

Danika moved to stand but the look in James's eyes held her in place. The air thickened around them. The desire to lean in hit hard. Should she follow her feelings and kiss him? They were molten hot together, but she needed to think smart now.

Seconds ticked by, and the heat hadn't cooled at all. Instead, it intensified. She didn't pull away. She leaned in, hoping she wasn't making a huge mistake.