Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Wren was panicking. It was ten o'clock at night, and Bo would be leaving in four hours to head to the Naval base for his mission departure. She wasn't ready.

For the last few days, she'd been living in denial. Denial that he'd be leaving. That she'd be leaving. The closer it got to the date she and the others from BT Energy would be going to South Sudan, the more scared she became. And that was saying something, because Wren didn't scare easily.

She'd lived through a lot of terrifying things. But this?

It hadn't been so bad when Bo and his Navy SEAL friends had given her all those survival items. She'd felt good that they cared enough to try to help her.

But when Bo made her practice using the ferro rod, when he took out some zip-ties to see if she could use the paracord in her shoelaces to get out of them…it sank in more and more just how concerned he really was that she was traveling to South Sudan .

And if Bo was freaked, Wren knew she should be too. So the dread built up. With each day that passed, the closer the time came for her to leave, the more she wished her boss would cancel.

And now the time was here for Bo to head out on his own mission. And she was worried about him too. She didn't know the specifics of his trip, he couldn't say, but she'd gotten enough of a gist to know that whatever it was he and his teammates were going to do in Africa, it was dangerous. Beyond dangerous. And the thought of this man possibly not coming back, of never seeing him again, wasn't something she wanted to contemplate.

The last few weeks had been life-changing for Wren. Bo was…well, he was amazing. Considerate, playful, affectionate, respectful. And she wanted more.

But with both their lives about to get very dangerous, she wasn't sure she'd have the opportunity for more. And that sucked.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Bo asked.

They were sitting on his couch, both reluctant to go to bed because that meant they'd have to say goodbye. Bo already told her that he wasn't going to wake her up when he left, so when they said good night, that would be the last time they saw each other until they both returned. If they both returned.

Wren shivered.

"Are you cold? Here," Bo said, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch and holding it out to her.

Making an impulsive decision, Wren sat up, then scooted over to where he was sitting. She brought her knees up and leaned into him, snuggling into his side. "Is this okay?" she whispered.

"Oh yeah," Bo said in a tone that had Wren thinking that maybe, just maybe, he needed this as much as she did.

His arm went around her shoulders, and he held her against him as he relaxed against the cushions. He stretched his legs out in front of him and sighed as they both got comfortable against one another.

Several moments went by before he asked, "You hear from the detective today?"

Wren nodded. "Matt…sorry, Barry , was extradited back to Wyoming for the terrorist threats. Since those are federal charges, they're more serious. Then he'll have to go to Washington to face the charges there."

"Will they need you to testify about anything?"

Wren shrugged. "If he goes to court for the assault and stalking charges, maybe."

"I was serious about you staying here for the next week before you leave," Bo said. "You don't need to go back to your apartment."

"I know. And I appreciate it. I like this place. It's cozy."

"Small and a little run down," Bo corrected with a laugh.

But Wren didn't join him in his laughter. Picking up her head, she met his gaze. "It's small, yes, but it's clean. There aren't cigarette butts lying on the tables and floors. There's food in the fridge and pantry. It smells like laundry detergent and lemon from whatever you use to clean the floors. The doors lock securely, and I don't have to worry about mold in the walls and cockroaches crawling into my ears at night."

"Wren," Bo said in a sad tone .

But she shook her head. "No, don't feel sorry for me. Growing up the way I did gave me a better appreciation for the things I have. The things I earned. It sucks that Barry destroyed all my possessions, but it was just stuff. He didn't hurt me, thanks to you and Kevlar. And you've all done way more than your fair share in helping me get set up again. But being here with you made me realize something important."

"What's that?" Bo asked, tightening his arm around her.

Wren rested her head back on his shoulder. "That I've been living a very solitary existence. I tricked myself into thinking I was trying to be more social, just because I joined a dating site. But in reality, I've always pushed people away because I was afraid of getting hurt. Of being in a relationship like the ones my mom had when I was little. I was so worried about protecting myself from being hurt, I isolated myself instead. I changed jobs so often because it was easier than opening up, than making true friendships.

"And now, I've gone and done what I'd always resisted doing in the past. Made friends. I don't know how it happened, but I finally realize what I've been missing out on in my life. Connection . I guess I was afraid once someone got to know me, the real me, they'd judge me and find me lacking. And that would hurt way more than not having friends in the first place.

"But you and your friends accepted me. Without reservation. You've gone above and beyond to help me prepare for my trip, even though you don't agree with my choice to go to South Sudan. Caroline, Julie, Remi, and other women I haven't even met yet, they've helped me without wanting anything in return. That's so rare. "

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Bo again. "I'll stay here until I leave. Why would I want to go back to my apartment when some of the best memories of my life so far, I've had in this house? Laughing with you while we watch TV, making dinner together, eating sugary kid cereal in the mornings at your table. Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and having you stick your head out of your room because you heard me, asking me in your sleepy voice if I'm okay. You might have a hard time getting me to leave when we both get back."

Wren hadn't meant to blurt out that last part, but she didn't regret saying it. She wasn't brave enough to tell this man how much he was coming to mean to her, but that didn't mean she couldn't tell him in covert ways.

His hand moved to cup her face and his gaze was intense as he stared at her. He didn't speak, just leaned toward her. Wren eagerly tilted her chin to receive the kiss she knew was coming. When his lips touched hers, tingles ran from the top of her head down to her toes.

A little moan escaped from deep in her throat, which made Bo ease his hand to the nape of her neck as he deepened the kiss. His thumb caressed the sensitive skin there as he devoured her mouth.

Bo shifted on the couch until he was lying back, pulling her down on top of him. His hand was still locked on her nape and the other was pressed against the small of her back. She could feel his erection against her belly, but he didn't rock his hips or do anything that might make her feel uncomfortable in his embrace.

When she moved a hand down his side and shifted up so she could reach the buckle of his belt, Bo gently grabbed her wrist and moved her hand back up to his chest.

"Don't you…I mean…we can…" Wren wanted to roll her eyes at her inability to say what she wanted.

"I want you," Bo said bluntly. "But when I make love to you for the first time, I don't want to be rushed. I want to be able to take my time. Memorize the feel of you under me, over me, and how you feel when I'm deep inside your body."

Wren's womanly parts clenched at that.

"What I don't want is some sort of desperation fuck that's rushed because I'm leaving. We're both coming back, Wren. We'll be able to explore this chemistry and connection we have in depth when we get home. I'm glad you like my house, because if it was up to me, you'd never leave. I'm that serious about you."

She didn't like that first part, about the desperation fuck, but…he was right. She was feeling a little desperate. "You can't know what will happen. You're the one who's warned me about all the horrible things that can happen to me while I'm on this trip."

"You will come home," Bo said with so much conviction, Wren had no choice but to believe him. "And I will too. I've done hundreds of missions. This will not be the one that finishes me off, especially not when I have you to come home to."

"Bo," Wren whispered, feeling overwhelmed.

"Life is hard," he said. "When you're at your lowest, life has a way of trying to kick you down even further. It's the people who can lift their middle finger and say ‘no way will you get the better of me' who come out on top. I'm counting on you to do just that. I hope and pray that your trip is boring as hell and goes exactly as planned. But if it doesn't, remember everything we've told you, stay calm, and know that you aren't alone. You have a group of former and current Navy SEALs who will do whatever it takes to get to you."

"I'm thinking it's not quite that easy," Wren said. "I mean, you have to have permission to come into the country, right? By our government and your bosses and the South Sudanese people."

"If you're in danger, no one will be able to keep me away."

His words made tears well up in her eyes.

"Don't cry," he ordered gruffly.

"I can't help it. You're being sweet."

"You want me to be a dick?" he asked.

Wren laughed. "No."

"That's better," he said gently, wiping her cheek with his thumb.

"Can we sleep here?" she blurted.

Instead of saying how uncomfortable the couch was compared to a bed, or arguing that he needed his sleep before leaving for his mission, Bo simply nodded. He shifted her until she was snuggled against his side, her back to the cushions, one of her legs draped over his thighs and her arm over his chest. Then he grabbed the blanket and covered them both.

"You'd probably sleep better in your bed," she felt obligated to mumble.

"Wouldn't sleep," he told her. "I'd be thinking about you."

"I'm gonna miss you," Wren admitted.

"Not as much as I'll miss you," Bo countered .

A couple minutes went by without either of them speaking, then Wren said softly, "I thought being drugged was the worst thing that could happen to me. It gave me so many flashbacks of growing up, of being scared of my mom and her boyfriends. But…it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me."

"No," Bo said sternly. "You being drugged against your will is not one of the best things to happen to you."

"But it led me to you," Wren protested, lifting her head to try to see him better.

"I would've found you regardless," Bo told her.

"How?"

"I don't know. But there's no way with the connection we share, we wouldn't have found our way to each other eventually."

Oh man, that was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to her.

"I'd already noticed you," he went on. "In Aces that night. I saw you with that asshole and wondered what you were doing with him. I would've found a way to talk to you. I don't know how, but I felt drawn to you even before we'd said one word to each other. So you being drugged wasn't a good thing. It wasn't the catalyst to us meeting."

Wren liked that. A lot. "Okay, Bo."

"Close your eyes, Wren."

She didn't want to. She wanted to savor the feeling of being in his arms. Neither of them knew what the future would bring, and if she was being honest, she wanted to beg him not to go. To help her figure a way out of going to South Sudan. But that wasn't the kind of woman she was .

Laying her head back on his chest, Wren closed her eyes as Bo ordered. She'd planned to stay awake until it was time for him to leave, but with the warmth of his body along hers, the sound of his heartbeat under her ear, the feel of his chest rising and falling, it all conspired to make her succumb to sleep within minutes.

Safe didn't sleep. Not one wink. He could sleep on the plane on the way to Chad. For now, he was too busy memorizing every second of holding Wren in his arms.

One of the hardest things he'd ever done was pull her hand away from his cock. He wanted to feel her hands on him. Her mouth. Wanted to strip her naked and lose himself inside her.

But he hadn't lied, there wasn't enough time to do everything he wanted to do the first time they were intimate. He needed at least an entire night.

So instead, he held Wren as she slept. The more he learned about her childhood and her life, the more impressed he was with this woman. Many people wouldn't be able to survive what she had. They would've turned to drugs or alcohol to cope. Would've made the wrong kinds of friends. Something.

But his Wren had a core of steel.

He had no doubt she had triggers. Had moments when she'd wanted to give up. But she hadn't. She kept putting one foot in front of the other and finding ways to succeed.

He hated that she was going to South Sudan. He had a very bad feeling about that trip, but he hadn't lied. If something did happen while she was there, he wouldn't let anyone keep him from going after her. Safe had already talked about it with Kevlar, who'd discussed the entire situation with their commander. They were going to be in Chad, a country bordering South Sudan. According to their very detailed plans, their own mission should take a week, tops. That meant by the time Wren reached Africa, they could be in South Sudan in hours, if need be.

Safe prayed they wouldn't need to. But if anyone dared hurt her, he'd be ready—and they'd be dead. Period.

He had no problem killing bad guys. He'd done it time and time again without remorse. Men and women who'd chosen to hurt others. Who'd planned to murder hundreds of innocent people. But the thought of just one particular person being hurt, his person, made his usually even-keeled emotions swirl out of control.

He turned his head and inhaled deeply, smelling Wren's shampoo and her own unique scent.

He needed her.

Pressing his lips together, Safe was more determined than ever to get through this deployment and come home to further his relationship with Wren. Nothing and no one would keep him from making sure she knew how it felt to be treasured. To be put first in a relationship. To be loved.

There it was.

Did Safe love her?

Probably…?

He'd never felt this way about a woman. Never wanted to spend every waking—and sleeping—moment with anyone. Had never had as much in common with someone else as he did Wren. Safe couldn't wait to see what their future held. Knew they could make it through anything, as long as they worked together.

Two a.m. came way too soon. Even before his watch vibrated on his wrist, Safe knew it was time to go. He slipped out from under Wren, and she barely moved. She was exhausted, not only from working long hours but the stress of the last couple weeks. Stress over her work situation, Barry, trying to decide what to do about her long-lost father, and worrying about his mission.

Safe took a fast shower, brushed his teeth, and dressed. Then he went back to the couch and leaned over a still-sleeping Wren. He'd told her he wouldn't wake her up when he left, but he was feeling selfish. He needed to talk to her one more time.

He kissed her forehead and shook her gently. "Wren?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm headed out."

That woke her up. Wren's eyes opened and she studied him with her dark brown gaze. "Be careful. I'm gonna hold you to that whole all-night lovemaking session when we get back."

Safe grinned. "Deal. You be safe," he retorted.

"I will."

They stared at each other for a beat before Safe leaned down and kissed her lips gently. He wanted more, much more, but this was already killing him.

He stood, then turned and headed for the door without looking back. If he did, he might not leave .

Taking a deep breath, he opened the front door and walked out, locking the door behind him. He stood on his front step for a moment, his eyes closed, praying that Wren would be safe. That his mission would go as planned with no surprises. Then he walked briskly toward his Jeep, trying to turn his mind to SEAL mode. He had a job to do.

Afterward he'd get his reward. Wren.