Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Remi had been nervous about tonight, but she was having a wonderful time. And Vincent had been right, her jeans and T-shirt made her fit right in with the other women and patrons of the bar. She and Marley were sitting at a table with Caroline and five of her friends, and from the moment they started talking, it was as if she’d known them her entire life.

She’d never clicked with a large group of women before. Being a loner all her life, she tended to make friends with one, maybe two people at a time. But every single woman was down-to-earth, friendly, and had no problem teasing each other—and Remi—as they talked about anything and everything. The topics ranged from the politics of the Navy, deployments, children, life after their husbands retired, and which alcoholic drinks were the best.

They’d willingly answered all the questions Remi posed about Navy SEALs, and more she didn’t even know she had.

“Deployments suck,” Jessyka told her without beating around the bush. “I used to dread those phone calls Benny would get, telling him they were going wheels up in three hours. He’d have to rush around to get packed and it was so hard to explain to the kids where Daddy was going and why. Mostly because I didn’t know the answers.”

“Yeah, the not knowing when they’d be back was the worst,” Summer agreed.

“But when things got hard, we had each other,” Fiona added.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Remember the days before we had kids, when we’d all go to Caroline’s and hang out in her basement and be depressed together?” Alabama asked.

“That was the best!” Cheyenne agreed.

“Not the being depressed part, but having each other,” Fiona clarified with a small laugh.

Caroline rested her elbows on the table and leaned closer to Remi. “Here’s the thing. Our guys—SEALs and other special forces operators—they do what they do because they truly believe in serving their country. They don’t do it for the awards or pats on the back. They do it so their loved ones back home can live their lives free and relatively safe. The most important thing I did for Matthew was letting him do what he loved, what he was good at, without having to worry about me back home.

“A woman who was faithful and strong was what he needed the most. And that wasn’t a hardship for me. If I ever got worried, or thought I couldn’t do it, I’d talk to my friends who were going through the same thing I was. We’re here for you if you need us, Remi. Loving a SEAL isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Our men, they were gone a lot. But knowing they were making the world a better place, a safer place, it was worth the sacrifice.”

Her words settled deep inside Remi. She already didn’t like the thought of Vincent being gone for long periods of time, but it wasn’t as if he was off frolicking in the sun and sand. He was doing dangerous work. Important work.

“And it won’t last forever,” Summer added. “Eventually the younger guys, like Kevlar and his team, take over and the old farts are pushed out.”

Everyone laughed at that.

“Then they’re home all the time, getting in our way, being overprotective and ordering us around,” Cheyenne agreed.

“Except you like it when Dude orders you around,” Fiona teased.

“True,” Cheyenne said without a shred of embarrassment. “He does it so well.”

Everyone laughed again.

“I have to admit it’s nice to be able to have help around the house, especially when it means I can go to the grocery store without the kids,” Alabama said.

Remi listened as the other women talked about get-togethers on the beach with all the families, and it was obvious the hardships they’d gone through when their husbands were active duty were more than worth the good lives they were living now.

“Can we talk about Kevlar and his team now?” Summer asked, as she glanced across the bar to where the men had gathered.

Looking in that direction, Remi couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Vincent and his team were hanging out with Wolf and his friends. It was a mix of silver foxes and their younger counterparts. Remi had been introduced to the other women’s men earlier—Abe, Cookie, Mozart, Dude, and Benny—but didn’t really know who was who yet. They were all still in very good shape, they’d obviously worked hard to keep their physiques lean and mean. Even in the short time she’d been observing them, it wasn’t hard to see they were completely devoted to their wives. They’d left them alone to have their girls’ night, but they’d checked on them often, making sure they had drinks and no one else in the bar harassed the table of women.

Not that anyone would. Jessyka was the owner, and she’d talked earlier about how hard she’d worked to change Aces’ reputation from that of a rowdy SEAL hook-up bar, to a more laid-back place where men and women could come to simply have a drink in peace, without having to worry about being hit on or harassed.

“Seriously, every SEAL currently in this bar is so good-looking,” Cheyenne said with a happy sigh as she took a sip of her wine.

Remi had to agree. Intellectually, she’d known Vincent’s friends would likely be fit and muscular because of their job, but she hadn’t expected every one of them to be quite so handsome. They were all around the same age, late twenties to early thirties, and they ranged from around her height to six-three or so. They all had different distinguishing features…but honestly, they still kind of looked like a bunch of older, more muscular frat guys.

Though there was an air of subtle danger about them that was unmistakable. They were also hyper alert. Every time the door of the bar opened, everyone’s gazes immediately sized up whoever entered, looking for any potential threats. Beyond a brief meeting, Remi hadn’t had a chance to sit down and talk to Vincent’s team, however, as she and Marley had been whisked away by Caroline soon after meeting everyone. But they’d all seemed friendly and happy for her and Vincent.

“I do feel bad for Blink though,” Jessyka said softly.

“Who?” Marley asked.

“Blink. He’s the guy sitting at the bar by himself. He’s from another team. Comes in almost every day and nurses a beer all night. He doesn’t get drunk, simply sits there and stares off into space, lost in his thoughts.”

“Anyone know what happened?” Fiona asked.

“I do,” Caroline said.

Everyone turned to her.

“But I can’t say. Matthew told me the other night, and it’s not my place to share.”

“I heard some of his teammates died,” Summer said.

“Yeah, they did. Others were medically discharged. That last mission…it wasn’t good,” Caroline admitted.

“I think he blames himself,” Jessyka said.

“Looks like it,” Caroline agreed with a nod.

“So…he’s not on a team anymore?” Remi asked. “Is he on vacation, or leave, or whatever it’s called?”

“Convalescent leave,” Caroline explained. “I think thirty days, but I’m not sure.”

“Then what happens?” Marley asked.

“He’ll probably be assigned to another team. Will probably get PCS’d.”

“Permanent Change of Station,” Summer explained. “Which means he’ll move to another Navy base and join a team of SEALs there.”

“But he’ll have to get cleared by psych first,” Caroline said.

“He’s not exactly Mr. Congeniality,” Alabama added in a low voice. “He’s kind of gruff.”

“He’s not that bad,” Jessyka insisted. “He’s just…sad.”

“But he can be sad and not take it out on others,” Fiona said. “He’s snapped at a few people even while we’ve been here.”

“Can you blame him? If people are being idiots, and he’s thinking about what happened to the men on his team, he probably can’t help but call others on their stupid behavior,” Jessyka said with a shrug.

“True, but if he doesn’t want to be around people, why does he come to a bar?” Fiona asked.

No one said anything, just stared at the red-haired man sitting at the end of the bar by himself.

“Anyway,” Caroline said, sitting up straighter. “You and Kevlar are adorable together, Remi.”

It was obvious she was changing the subject, which was all right with Remi, because she wasn’t comfortable talking about the guy at the bar behind his back. It didn’t seem right. She felt bad for him, but didn’t know enough about the Navy or SEALs in general to know much about what his future might hold.

“Caroline said you and Kevlar were left in the middle of the ocean when you were snorkeling?” Cheyenne asked.

“But you don’t have to talk about it, if it brings up too many bad memories,” Fiona said quickly.

Surprisingly, Remi didn’t mind discussing what happened in Hawaii. Because while being left in the water had been scary, spending time with Vincent gave her plenty of good memories as well.

“It’s okay,” she told her new friends. “Yeah, I’d been following this sea turtle, and when I finally lifted my head and looked around, the boat was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t know what the hell was happening, and then Vincent was there. He kept me calm. Reassured me that he had some sort of tracker in his wetsuit and his friend would know he was in trouble and send help.”

“Tex,” Caroline and Fiona said at the same time.

Everyone laughed, except for Remi and Marley.

“Who’s Tex?” Marley asked.

“He’s a former SEAL who lives out on the East Coast with his wife, Melody. He’s obsessed with keeping track of his friends and their women,” Caroline explained.

“He’s awesome,” Fiona said softly. “Truly cares. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”

“Me either,” Cheyenne agreed.

“Same,” Jessyka said.

“So this Tex guy was tracking Vincent? Why?” Marley asked, obviously still confused.

“Vincent said the tracker was in his wetsuit, the one he wears on his missions. He’d forgotten about it, but said Tex would know something was up when he was in the ocean, in one spot, for too long for a diving trip,” Remi explained.

“You had to have been scared. I would’ve been,” Alabama said.

“I was. But Vincent was…perfect. He was so sure someone would be coming for us. Of course, when the guy who left us came back to make sure we were dead or something—I’m still not sure what he planned to do if he found us; nothing good, probably—Vincent took us underwater, and we shared his air tank until the boat was gone again.”

Marley’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell me that part!” she scolded.

Remi had purposely not mentioned that part of the harrowing event with her best friend, because she’d already been pissed off and scared with all the other stuff she’d shared.

“It’s not easy to do that. Buddy-breathe, I mean,” Caroline said.

“You’ve done it?” Remi asked.

“Yeah. With Cookie. It’s a long story, and it’s scary as hell. You have to really trust the other person to give you the thingy to breathe when you need it.”

Remi nodded. It had been scary. But staring into Vincent’s eyes as they passed his regulator back and forth had made it a little less so.

“Anyway, so that jerk obviously didn’t see you, and someone came to rescue you?” Cheyenne asked.

“Yeah. Baker. He was intense, but nice. We went to his place the next day and spent some time with him and his wife, Jodelle. It was fun.”

“Wait, Baker? The Baker? I’m so jealous! I’ve heard a little about him from some of Benny’s friends who are stationed out there in Hawaii,” Jessyka said.

“Is that the hot surfer guy who lives on the North Shore?” Fiona asked.

“Yes! Him!” Jessyka exclaimed.

“I heard he walked across lava to burn up some bad guy.”

“I heard that he knows all the mafia members in New York, and in other big cities.”

“And I heard he’s so good-looking that he secretly models for GQ.”

“How could it be a secret if he lets someone take pictures of him for a magazine?”

“I don’t know, but he’s apparently a recluse who rarely goes out of his house except to surf.”

Remi chuckled at the women’s over-the-top conversation. She interrupted them to say, “I don’t know about any of that. But I will say that I was ever-so-glad to see him pull up alongside us in the middle of the ocean. And that the visit I had with him and his wife was totally normal, and he was friendly and concerned about how I was doing after my ordeal.”

“But he’s good-looking, right? Tell me he’s good-looking,” Jessyka said, her eyes sparkling.

“Oh yeah, he’s hot. He could totally be a model, but I have a feeling he’d be horrified if anyone even suggested something like that. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d enjoy the spotlight. At all,” Remi said.

“What else did you do while you were in Hawaii?” Alabama asked.

Remi went on to talk about some of the things she’d done on her own, “Before Vincent,” as she now thought of the earlier part of her trip, and then what they’d done together on their last day.

Talk around the table turned to vacations, and where the other women wanted to go. Remi glanced over at the guys, and they were now involved in what looked like some sort of pool tournament. They’d taken over two of the tables and were laughing and joking with each other.

Then she turned her attention back to the man sitting at the bar by himself. She felt sorry for him. He’d probably been doing what the other SEALs did on every mission. And if he was anything like Vincent, he’d lost men he loved like brothers. It sucked. Hard.

“I’m going to head to the bar and get a soft drink. Anyone want anything?” Remi asked during a lull in the conversation.

“I can get it for you,” Jessyka said, and started to stand.

But Remi quickly said, “Oh no, stay. It’s fine. I need to stretch my legs anyway. I’m good.”

“If you’re sure…” Jessyka said.

“I’m sure,” Remi replied.

When conversation began flowing again, Marley leaned over and asked, “You okay? I know being around people like this isn’t exactly your thing. You want me to come with you?”

“I’m good. Promise. I’ll be right back.”

Marley nodded, and as Remi stood, her friend was quickly drawn back into the conversation about which was better, a vacation somewhere cold where lots of snuggling with a husband could happen, or a tropical location that involved bathing suits and sun.

Remi caught Vincent’s eye as she made her way through the crowded room, toward the bar.

He started to put his pool stick down, obviously intent on joining her, but Remi waved him off and mouthed, I’m good.

He tilted his head as if to ask if she was sure, and Remi nodded.

He gave her a chin lift, then turned back to his game, but she could feel his gaze on her as she continued toward the end of the bar. It felt good. Both that she could have an entire conversation with him from across a room, and that he was willing to drop everything to come to her if she needed him.

As much as she wanted to spend time with Vincent, the urge to talk to the man the others called Blink was stronger at the moment.

Her heart was breaking for him, this stranger, and she couldn’t help but think about Vincent being in his place. What if it had been his team that had been on a horrible mission? And this guy didn’t seem to have anyone else to lean on. She hated that. She felt as if she at least needed to make an effort to check on him. He might rebuff her efforts. Might be a jerk to her, as he’d apparently been to others. But she wouldn’t be able to sleep if she didn’t at least try.

Marley had called her a softie more than once. Was sure that’s how Remi had ended up with some of her less-than-desirable dates. But it was just who Remi was. She didn’t like when people were hurting. Even strangers.

There was an empty seat next to the man, which probably wasn’t the best sign, but Remi was determined to at least say hello.

She hoisted herself up on the barstool, and the man behind the bar told her that he’d be with her in a moment.

Now that she was here, Remi wasn’t sure what to say. The man next to her hadn’t even glanced her way when she’d sat down.

Taking a deep breath, she blurted, “Hi. I’m Remi.”

He didn’t move. Didn’t seem to even hear her.

“I’m friends with Vincent…um…Kevlar. You might know him. I guess he comes here with his team, friends, all the time.”

At that, he turned to glance at her. It wasn’t exactly a friendly gaze, but it wasn’t hostile either. And he hadn’t told her to beat it, so she gave him a smile and kept talking.

“This is my first time here. It’s nice. I wasn’t really expecting a place called Aces Bar and Grill to be this upscale. And that’s horrible and makes me sound like a snob, but I’m not much of a bar-goer. I mean, I like going to a chain restaurant and having a glass of wine with my meal, but a bar? No. Especially in this town. No offense, but having military guys hit on me when I’m trying to enjoy a drink isn’t my idea of a good time. Not that anyone really hits on me anyway. I mean, I don’t exactly exude ‘hit on me vibes’…but still.”

He didn’t comment, simply continued to stare at her. But again, he wasn’t telling her to get lost, so Remi continued.

“I’m here meeting Caroline Steel and her friends tonight. And Vincent’s friends. And Caroline’s husband’s team. It’s a lot. They’re all very nice, but since I’m used to sitting at home and talking to the voices in my head, being here is…loud.”

“Do they talk back?”

He spoke!

Remi couldn’t keep the grin off her face. She couldn’t tell if he was making fun of her or not, but it didn’t matter.

“All the time,” she said with a shrug. “I’m an artist. Well, a cartoonist. I think that’s an artist, but I’m sure there are lots of people out there who would disagree. But Pecky—he’s my main character—doesn’t care what others think. When he wants to go on adventures, he tells me in no uncertain terms and demands I draw him in the places he wants to go.”

For the first time, Remi wondered how this man got his nickname. “Do people call you Blink because you win staring contests?” she blurted. On the heels of that thought, she got an idea. “Oh! Do you mind if I write you into one of my cartoons? I can see you and Pecky having a staring contest, but he’d win—sorry. Pecky’s a taco, after all, and I’m thinking he could out-stare anyone, even you. He can win, but instead of getting mad, you simply give him one of those manly chin lifts Vincent and his military friends give people, then you go back to your drink.”

To her amazement, she saw the man’s lips twitch upward. She’d made him smile! Her embarrassing babbling was totally worth it.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, taking her attention from the man next to her.

“An iced tea, please.”

“Long island?”

Remi frowned in confusion. “What?”

“Long Island iced tea?”

“Is that a brand?”

A small sound had Remi whipping her attention back to the SEAL beside her. Blink, the man everyone said was depressed and grumpy, had laughed. He wasn’t laughing now, but she’d heard it.

“A Long Island iced tea is an alcoholic drink. It’s pretty strong,” he told her.

Feeling stupid, Remi blushed. “Right. I knew that. No, just a plain one. No alcohol. Sweet tea if you can, please.”

The bartender gave Blink a long look, then nodded at her and turned around to make her drink.

“Kevlar’s good people,” Blink told her.

“Yeah. I like him. A lot.”

“You should be careful though. Not everyone is as…loyal, as he is.”

“What do you mean?” Remi asked.

But instead of answering her, Blink picked up the beer in front of him and took a sip, staring off into space again.

Taking a risk, Remi touched his arm. She felt his muscles twitch under her hand, but he didn’t move. “I’m sorry about your team. I don’t know what happened, but it had to be bad. There’s nothing I can say that will bring your friends back. And it has to hurt even more because you were there to witness it.”

He turned his head at that, but there was no humor in his gaze. He looked…blank.

Remi wanted to slip off the barstool and go back to the other women, but she was determined to say what she felt he might need to hear.

“I’m overstepping; I know I am. But it hurts my heart to see you sitting here by yourself being sad. You know, if I died, and Marley was moping around, being Grumpy McGrumpster to those around her who just wanted to help, I’d be pissed at her. I mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind her being sad, because she is my best friend, but I’d want her to get over it and live. For me. Do all the things we’d always talked about doing and never got around to. Renting a convertible and driving through the western states like Thelma and Louise did in that movie. Eating cotton candy until we wanted to barf, even though neither of us even like the stuff. Going to Texas and taking pictures in a huge field of blue bonnets. I don’t know…all that stupid stuff that looks so awesome in movies but in reality, no one has time for.

“I didn’t know your friends, and as I said, I don’t know what happened, but you’re a SEAL. And if I didn’t have Vincent when the shit hit the fan while I was in Hawaii, I wouldn’t be here today. You’re a hero. I know you are. And I just want to say…thank you for what you do.”

“I’m no hero,” he growled. Honest-to-God growled.

“That’s what heroes always claim. But you saying it, doesn’t make it true.”

“You’re kind of annoying,” Blink told her.

“I know,” Remi said, nodding, not turned off in the least. She squeezed his arm. “You’re allowed to be sad. Allowed to be pissed. You can feel any way you want to feel. But I’m guessing any team would be lucky to have you on it. That whatever happened taught you a lot. If mistakes were made on your mission, you’d never allow them to happen again. That in itself makes you a valuable person to have at someone’s back. I’ll go so far as to say, if Vincent was in trouble, I’d want you there with him.”

Blink stared at her with an odd expression. One she couldn’t interpret.

“Sorry. I’m talking out my ass again. But I am totally putting you in a Pecky cartoon. Maybe I’ll have you win that staring contest after all, though. Because I have to say, you’re really good at it.”

She was rewarded with a few crinkles around his eyes, as if he was once more amused by her. She’d take it.

“Iced tea. Sweet. Unloaded,” the bartender said as he placed the glass in front of her on a napkin.

“Thanks,” Remi told him, reaching for the bills she’d put in her pocket earlier.

“Put it on my tab,” Blink said.

“Oh, that’s okay, I can⁠—”

“My tab,” Blink repeated firmly.

“Will do,” the bartender said, then walked away.

“Thank you,” Remi said softly.

He didn’t respond.

Remi reached out and squeezed his arm once more, then slid off the barstool. She took a step away from him, but something made her stop.

She stepped up to Blink’s side, leaned in, and kissed the side of his head, near his temple.

It was a totally spontaneous action, and she wasn’t even sure why she’d done it, except that she couldn’t stand the sadness that seemed to be oozing from every molecule of his body.

“It’s a cliché,” she said softly. “But I’m gonna say it anyway. Thank you, Blink. For your service. For what you do. For what you’ve seen and done. For your sacrifices. I appreciate them. And you.”

Then she turned and walked away without looking back. She may not have made a difference to the man, but she felt better that she’d at least tried.