Chapter 4

Four

Jess watched Finn’s retreat, biting her lip to stop herself from calling him back. God, how she’d wanted to launch herself into his arms. Feel them close around her.

He looked so strong now. So different from how he’d looked the last time she’d seen him.

“Okay, Jessica Killian, what was that all about?” Kaley demanded, drawing her attention from the object of her secret desires.

“Nothing. It was nothing,” she muttered, surprising herself that she could actually speak coherently.

“ Nothing , my foot. I’m not leaving here until you tell me what that was all about. Who is he? How do you know him? How does he know your mom?” Kaley fired off the questions with the precision Jess imagined Finn would fire a gun.

How did she answer?

Did she even want to answer?

Kaley was her best friend, but Jess hadn’t breathed a word of that night back in New York. Hadn’t told her that she’d had the most amazing kiss with the man she’d been in love with most of her life.

Of course, she wasn’t in love with him now. Not after what he’d done.

Liar.

Jess ignored that four-letter word her conscience was yelling at her.

“Did you say we were going to drink the night away?” Jess said, hoping her friend would take the hint and drop the subject. She was also aware Timon was still standing a few yards behind them, close enough to hear everything that was being said.

As if her bestie could see the desperation on her face, her friend nodded and hooked her arm around hers. “That I did.”

“Thanks for everything, Timon.” Jess smiled.

“You’re welcome, and well, I know it’s not my place to say, but most people who ask to see cast members give up waiting after five minutes, even when told that the cast would be out shortly. He didn’t. But he waited. And looked like he would’ve waited the whole night to see you.”

She nodded. It would be like Finn to stay around for however long it took. If she’d known it was him waiting for her, would she have gone out this particular door? Or would she have looked for another exit? Another way to avoid him.

The answer to that conundrum was going to stay unanswered, because she hadn’t known. She’d seen him and the memories, ones she’d thought about before her performance, had returned full force.

Had she put her thoughts out to the universe and conjured Finn up to appear at her performance tonight?

Jess laughed. Now she was being ridiculous. No way did she have the power to make someone appear. If she had any sort of power like that, she would’ve made Bartholomew disappear .

They exited the building, and the warm spring air caressed her skin. She closed her eyes, breathing deep. The briny scent of the ocean teased her senses.

Having grown up in the middle of Texas, a trip to the beach wasn’t just a quick twenty-minute drive. It was more like a couple of hours.

She’d gone to many of the lakes nearby, but there was something about the smell of the ocean that aroused the senses.

Now that Jess had a made up her mind, she’d stay for a couple of more days before heading to her parents’ place. Maybe she could take a trip to the beach tomorrow. “Do you want to go to the beach?” she asked Kaley, voicing her thoughts.

“What? Now? It’s almost midnight. Do you know what lives in the water?” Kaley shuddered.

Jess laughed at her friend’s antics. “I’m not talking about now, silly. Tomorrow. When the sun is shining, and we can see what is in the water.”

“If we were in the Caribbean, where the water is crystal-clear, your last point would be true. But we’re not. You’re talking about going into the Pacific Ocean.”

“Come on, Kay-Kay, it’ll be fun. Maybe we’ll see some hot guys playing beach volleyball or football. You know, not wearing their shirts. Sweat dripping down their muscular, tanned bodies.”

“And their dicks are tiny because they’ve been taking steroids to give them their impressive muscles.”

Laughter burst out of Jess. Only Kaley would say something like that. “Oh my God, that’s a visual I didn’t need.” She finally managed to get out, wiping her eyes and gasping for breath as the sound of loud music and conversation hit her. While she’d been lost in her laughter, they’d arrived at the bar across the street from the theatre.

She hadn’t technically lied to Finn—some of her dance crew were getting together for drinks—but it wasn’t a celebratory party, like she’d said.

The sad thing was, Finn had known Jess hadn’t been truthful with him. The smile he’d flashed had held a hint of sadness, but also a hint of knowing.

He’d always been able to tell when she was lying. No matter how hard she’d tried not to give herself away. With him, she’d been an open book.

Which was why his rejection had stung so much.

Stop it. Time to move on.

This time, she did listen to her inner voice. It was time to move on. Jess should look at tonight as a closure for her little-girl infatuation with Finn.

She was a grown ass woman, about to hit a quarter of a century of being on the Earth. She’d survived a stalker’s knife attack. She’d danced with one of the best dance companies in the country.

Jess had friends, and her life was fulfilling. So what if she wouldn’t mind someone to hold her at night? Someone she could call and who would whisper sweet nothings to her.

Maybe tonight, she’d find that person. Maybe tonight was the night when the man of her dreams would walk up to her and ask her to dance.

There was only one way for that to happen and that was to open herself up to it.

Jess tugged on Kaley’s arm. “Let’s dance the night away!” Her friend laughed and they headed over to the small group of their fellow dancers.

The first guy that came up to her to ask her if she wanted a drink or a dance, Jess was going to say yes.

Finn clocked Jess the second she walked into the bar. The hair on the back of his neck had stood to attention, and he’d immediately gone on alert. That sensation only happened when shit was about to hit the fan, and he’d scanned the bar to see if danger was lurking.

Then he’d seen her. At the bar, standing next to the woman she was with when she’d come to see who was waiting for her backstage.

“Hey, isn’t that the chick from the show?” Oak asked, his voice rising with interest. “She’s even hotter with her hair down.”

A burst of jealousy shot through Finn, and he breathed in deeply, trying to not let it consume him. This was his friend and teammate. Nothing good could come of him knocking him out.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” he asked, although since he’d arrived at the bar, he hadn’t seen Sylvia at all.

“Nah, she dumped me before we walked into the bar.”

Finn did a double take. “What the fuck? When you guys left me at the theatre, everything looked good with you two. And why the hell didn’t you say something to me when I got here?”

More to the point, why didn’t Oak look heartbroken that his girlfriend had broken it off with him?

“You looked like you had a lot on your mind when you sat down. Besides, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t been expecting. She was never my forever girl.”

Finn had questions, and being in a loud bar was making conversation impossible, but he was still going to ask them, even if everything in him wanted to march over to where Jess was and haul her close to his side.

It didn’t matter that not thirty minutes ago, he’d walked away from her, prepared to only see her at the odd family get-together.

“You need to backtrack a lot . Was she seeing someone else? I mean, you guys looked pretty close tonight when we arrived at the theatre,” Finn said.

Oak shrugged and brought his beer bottle to his lips.

He waited him out while his buddy seemed to take forever to take a drink.

“If she hadn’t broken up with me, I would’ve done it when I dropped her home. It was a bit of fun, and for a little while, I thought she could be the one, but after the third date, I knew she wasn’t. It wouldn’t surprise me if there was someone else. Sylvia isn’t the type to stay single for long.”

“You went out with her tonight, knowing you were going to end it with her in a few hours?” Finn arched an eyebrow. He had a hard time wrapping his head around exactly what Oak was saying.

Finn’s dad had taught him that women and their feelings were to be respected. He’d told him if he couldn’t see a future with a woman after being with her for a while, he shouldn’t lead her on.

He’d had a couple of longish relationships, where he’d thought there was a chance of a future. Believed there could be. But in the end, he hadn’t seen them making the long haul to the ’til death do you part portion of the wedding vows, so he’d broken up with them.

“It’s not easy to explain. And maybe if I hadn’t—” Oak looked toward the area where Jess and her friends were standing, then flicked his gaze back to Finn’s. “Well, anyway, it doesn’t matter. Sylvia said she was sorry, but she’d spent the whole show thinking about how her friend had gotten back with her ex. She knew we weren’t a love match and so she wanted to end it.”

Finn had only partly heard what his buddy had finished saying. His mind was going over the small matter of how Oak had looked over at Jess and how he’d said “ if I hadn’t .” Hadn’t what? Come to the dance show, everything would’ve been okay? Hadn’t seen the way Finn had been so focused on Jess as she performed?

What did it matter what his friend had or hadn’t seen? All that mattered was that he was single and seemed perfectly okay with it.

Or was he?

“Are you sure you’re good?” Finn asked.

“Yeah. The night is young, and we don’t have to be on base tomorrow. This place is hopping, and I think we should hop right into it.”

He laughed and shook his head. Yeah, the guy wasn’t heartbroken at all. “What’s your plan? Who are you going to leave with?”

“Dude! I’m not going to leave with anyone. I just broke up with Sylvia,” Oak barked, his eyes wide and offended.

“Who you just said wasn’t the love of your life, and you don’t look like you’re going to cry into your beer.”

“Nothing you say is a lie, but even I have some class. You may think I’m a bit of a man-whore, but even I know it’s tacky to go from one woman to another in one night.”

“Fair call.”

“What I’m thinking is, we need to go up to the dancers. I need to tell them how great their performance was.” There was a knowing glint in Oak’s eyes, and Finn’s gut shouted that if he objected, his friend was going to call him out.

Not to mention tell the other guys on the team about it all.

Although, that was a given, since there weren’t many secrets among them. Or at least none that lasted long.

According to their teammate House, it hadn’t always been that way. There’d been some clashing, but after a critical mission, where things had gotten bad for them, they’d worked out their issues and were a more cohesive unit now.

Finn had only been with them a short time, and as much as they made him feel welcome, there were times he still felt like an outsider. However, he’d proven himself, stitching up one or two of them in the middle of a shitstorm they’d found themselves in. The rest of the guys found it handy to have a trained medic on the team again.

“Fine, but that’s all we’re going to do,” Finn said. As much as he wanted to be near Jess, talk to her, he wasn’t going to force himself on her.

Yet, that was what he was basically going to do when he and Oak went and spoke to them.

Following his friend, they made their way through the crowd, and before Finn was ready, they were standing behind the dancers.

The woman that had been with Jess saw them the second they arrived. Her eyes narrowed and she sent him a death glare.

He took it on the chin, glad that Jess had a friend who had her back. He had a whole team of guys that wouldn’t hesitate to wade into a fight if Finn found himself in one. Just like he’d do for them.

How could he relay to Jess’s friend he wasn’t there to do any harm?

Kind of hard without saying anything. Not to mention, he didn’t know the woman and she didn’t know him.

There’d been no hint of recognition in the woman’s face when he’d been talking to Jess. If Jess had told her about him, there would’ve been something to say that she was aware of who he was.

Should it bother him that Jess had kept him a secret?

Man, what the hell was wrong with him?

After his rough start to life, he’d shed most of the insecurities that’d coated him like a second skin. The love from his adoptive parents had given Finn the security and confidence he’d needed. Right this second, though, all those past feelings of not being worthy or good enough were vying to take over.

“Hi, sorry to bother you all,” Oak yelled over the music, as he tapped one of the guys on the shoulder.

Those with their backs to him and Oak all turned at once, like the well-choreographed team they were.

Jess’s eyes widened a fraction before narrowing, and if he thought her friend’s glare was bad, the one Jess fired in his direction would’ve been a direct shot to his heart.

“What do you want?” She poked him in the chest.

Finn wanted to grab her hand and hold it against his chest. This close, he could smell the jasmine scent that he now associated with her. The scent that had stuck with him since that night in New York all those years ago.

Instead, he held his hands up in the universal sign of surrender. “My friend, Oak, wanted to talk to you. It wasn’t my idea.”

A look of disappointment flared in Jess’s eyes before she blinked it away. “Oh.”

The urge to hold her against him was strong and it was getting harder and harder to not give into it.

He wouldn’t. By saying no to his invitation, Jess had made her choice.

A choice he would have to live with, even though he didn’t want to.