Chapter 15

Fifteen

The troubled look in Jess’s eyes wasn’t the one Finn wanted to see, especially after what they’d just shared together.

His heart was still racing from the strength of his orgasm. From the reality of finally having her in his arms. Her body pressed up against his.

As much as he wanted to ignore her question, he couldn’t.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I don’t know where this is going to take us. All I know is, I don’t want us to have the same distance between us we’ve had over the last few years.”

Jess scooted back a little, putting distance between them now that he didn’t like.

Or want. But he wasn’t going to force her close to him. If she needed space, then he’d give it to her.

“We’re going to have distance between us, no matter what we do. You know that,” she whispered. She sounded so damn sad.

Finn sighed. “I do. You have your dance company. I’m a SEAL.”

“Which is a dangerous job on any given day.”

“That, too.” He reached for her, needing her closer.

When she came without complaint, he sighed in contentment.

He closed his eyes as he tucked her close to him, relishing the feel of her arms around him. His body stirred, ready for another round, but he willed it to settle down. “What do you want?”

For endless moments, Jess remained quiet and still in his arms.

Her gaze wouldn’t meet his, and with every passing second that she didn’t say a word, the hope and happiness that had consumed Finn began to fade, leaving nothing but an emptiness he wanted to reject, like she was about to reject him.

“You,” Jess said quietly. “I want you.”

“Then we’ll find a way to make it work, because I can’t bear the thought of not having you, Jess.” He lowered his head and captured her lips with his, pouring everything he felt and wanted into the kiss. Telling her, without saying the words, that he loved her. That he wanted her to stay.

To stay forever, but he knew he couldn’t ask that of her.

Not yet.

No way would Finn ask her to give up her career or dreams to be with him. To move to a place where she didn’t know anyone and expect her to be happy.

Like clockwork, Finn’s eyes snapped open as the sky was just beginning to lighten and the early fingers of dawn made their presence known.

Jess was curled up beside him, her brown hair fanned out over the pillow.

She looked so peaceful and beautiful. He contemplated their conversation, of how they both wanted each other, but neither one knowing how it would work.

Could he request a transfer to another team? One based in Virginia? It’d be strange to not be near the place where he’d done his training, but it wasn’t like he had a home here.

The only connection to the area was his teammates and the reminder of the hell he’d gone through to become a SEAL. There were times he shuddered as he ran past the beach where he froze his ass off for twenty-four hours.

Other times, a sense of pride flowed along his muscles as he jogged through the shallows, knowing he’d conquered one of the toughest tasks on his journey to where he was today.

It wouldn’t be a hardship to move. While he and Jess may not be living in the same state, they would be in the same time zone and the distance between New York and Virginia was far less than San Diego and New York.

The more he tossed the idea around in his head, the more it began to take root.

“You’re frowning. What’s wrong?” Jess’s sleepy voice skittered straight to his groin.

He was never going to get enough of Jess.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” She propped herself up on her elbow. Her glorious hair fell over her shoulder, and he wound some of its silky length around his finger.

“The future and what it might look like.”

Her hand landed on his chest, right over his heart again.

Fuck. He loved it when she did that. It made him feel more connected to her.

“What does it look like?” she asked, her wariness evident.

“You and me always.” Finn pressed his lips against her forehead. “I was thinking about what you talked about last night. The distance between us. And I was thinking about the SEAL teams in Virginia and if a transfer to one of them was possible.”

Jess blinked. Once, then twice, as though she couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. That he wouldn’t possibly do something like that for her. “You’d do that? You’d put in a request to change teams—for me?”

Hope shone in her eyes and it cemented his decision—as hard as it would be.

“I would. No, I will . Once we get back from San Antonio, I’ll set everything in motion.” He rolled them so he was lying on top of Jess, his erection nestled snugly between her legs. “I want you, Jessica Killian, and I will do everything I can to make that happen and to make you happy.” Finn didn’t give her a chance to respond as he kissed her and poured everything he was feeling into it, hoping she believed him that he was going to remain true to his word.

“I won’t be too long. I just need to finalize a few things on base for my leave and grab some more stuff. I’ll be right back. Have you told your parents you’re coming home?”

“Okay. And no, I haven’t. I thought I’d surprise them. I mean, they knew I was coming for a visit. I just hadn’t said when exactly,” Jess said, her stomach churning at the upcoming trip.

She was excited to see her parents and siblings. But the whole having to explain why Finn was with her and what’d happened wasn’t something she was looking forward to.

As though he picked up on her inner turmoil, Finn pulled her tight against his chest.

Jess’s eyes closed and she breathed in deeply, his fresh scent comforting her. She’d always thought her dad’s hugs were the best, the ones who provided her with a safe haven, but in Finn’s arms, she felt even safer.

“Everything will be okay, popsicle. We’ll find the right time to tell them. And if”—he pulled back and their gazes collided—“you don’t want to tell them, then we won’t say anything.”

How she wanted to grab onto that lifeline Finn was throwing her. It’d make life easier if she didn’t say anything. However, it would also be the coward’s way out.

Jess should’ve told her parents already. Her pride, along with a bit of shame, had kept her from telling them. “No, it’s time.”

“Okay, but it will be on your timeline. I won’t pressure you to tell them.”

“I know you won’t.” She pushed to her toes and brushed her lips against his.

As always, the second their mouths touched, light kisses became heated. By the time they broke apart, they were both breathing heavily.

“You should go before I drag you back to the bedroom,” she teased.

“No complaints from me, but I really do need to go.”

Jess forced herself to take some steps back so there was distance between them. “You do. And Kaley will be here soon. We’re going for a coffee before she heads back to New York.”

“Are you going to quiz her about what’s going on with her and Oak?” Finn asked, as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder.

Dressed in his work fatigues, he looked handsome and sexy. Not as delicious as he looked in his dress whites, but she was finding it hard to keep her hands off him.

“Maybe. I’ll see what sort of mood she’s in when she gets here and take it from there. I’m pretty sure she’s going to quiz me about what’s going on with the two of us.”

He laughed. “What are you going to tell her?”

“That you’re into exhibitionism, and we had wild monkey sex on the balcony, where everyone could see us.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

This time it was she who laughed loudly. “Your face is priceless.” Jess sauntered over, putting a little extra sway in her gait. “Don’t worry. I’ll be keeping our sex life to myself.”

“I mean, if you want to tell her that, I’ll be okay with it. Although...” Finn tapped his finger on his lip, drawing her attention to it and the need to bite the plump flesh almost overwhelmed her. “She may say something to Oak, and it will get around base. I mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind that reputation.”

Jess shook her head and gave him a little shove. “Go, you big goof. The quicker you go, the quicker you’ll be back, and maybe we’ll have time to give that balcony sex a whirl before we have to catch our plane.”

Finn growled, a sound she never would’ve expected, and she didn’t have time to prepare herself before she was hauled against his chest and slammed his mouth on hers.

Jess wound her arms around his neck and sank against him. This kiss was hot and demanding and she was there for every second of it.

His hard length pressed against her, and she ground herself against it, wishing there weren’t so many layers of clothing between them.

“God, Jess.” Finn wrenched his mouth away from hers. “You drive me insane with this need to be inside you.”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

“As much as I know your parents would want you to stay with them, there’s no way I’m going to be able to walk away from you every night and leave you there.”

A shudder rippled through her at the intensity of his words. “I feel the same.”

This time it was Finn who stepped away. “I need to go. I’ll be back soon.” A look of indecision crossed his face, as though he couldn’t decide if he wanted to stay or leave. Kiss her or not kiss her.

“Bye, Hive,” she said.

A wide smile broke out over Finn’s handsome face, lighting his eyes and sending darts of pleasure zinging along her skin. “Bye, popsicle.” He gave her a chin lift. Then he was striding toward the door of their suite, his back view as yummy as his front view.

“Stop checking out my ass,” he called out as he pulled the door open.

Jess smirked. “No can do. It’s a fine specimen and should be admired.”

His laughter filled the room even after the door clicked shut.

She wrapped her arms around her belly, holding her feelings close.

How had her life changed so much in such a short time?

A week ago, she never would’ve thought she’d see Finn at all, let alone sleep with him. And now they were planning a trip back to San Antonio.

She didn’t have time to think about it as a knock sounded, and she made her way to the door. Jess paused to check the peephole, breathing out in relief that it was Kaley standing on the opposite side. “Hey, you ready to go?” she asked after she opened the door.

“Well, someone got lucky,” Kaley smirked and grabbed her hand, dragging her further into the suite. “Tell me everything.”

“What makes you think something happened?”

Her best friend’s smirk fell into a grin. “Have you looked at yourself? You’re glowing with that ‘I’ve been thoroughly fucked, more than once’ aura.”

Heat warmed Jess’s cheeks and it took everything she had in her not to rush into the bathroom to see if Kaley was right.

Maybe her friend was teasing her in the hopes that Jess would spill the beans about what’d happened between the moment they’d left Aces the night before to minutes before Kaley arrived at her doorstep.

“A girl doesn’t kiss and tell,” she responded primly. “I’m going to get my bag and put some shoes on. Then we can go get a coffee.”

“Sure, you are. You’re going to see if I’m right,” her bestie returned smugly.

Jess didn’t bother responding. It was always bad to tell Kaley she was right.

The moment she crossed the threshold of the bedroom she shared with Finn, Jess rushed into the bathroom, groaning at the sight that greeted her.

Her lips were plump and red and definitely had that just-kissed look to them. Her hair was all mussed and her shirt was half out of her jeans.

Yep, she didn’t just have the ‘just fucked aura’ surrounding her. It was imprinted on her and in her clothes.

Quickly, she brushed her hair and tucked her shirt in before going back into the bedroom and putting on some ballet flats. Satisfied she’d muted the ‘just fucked’ look, she headed out to the room and back to where Kaley was sitting on the couch, her phone clutched in her hand.

“You ready to go?” Jess asked.

Her friend looked up. “You need to check your emails.”

Her stomach somersaulted at the serious of Kaley’s tone. “What? Why?”

“Just do it.”

Jess dug through her purse and grabbed her cell. There was an email notification from her dance company glaring up at her. “They’ve sent out contract notifications?” She didn’t want to open the message. She hated this time of the year, when contracts were handed out or termination letters were sent.

She wished Baxter issued contracts longer than a year, but they liked being able to keep their dancers on their toes by changing the cast up yearly. The only contract that wasn’t changed was that of the lead male and female dancers.

Although, to be honest, there hadn’t been many cast changes the last couple of years, everyone had had contracts renewed. This year was different. There had been a lot of talk that a few dancers wanted out because of certain behaviors.

Benita, the company’s lead female dancer, had been more of a diva than normal, demanding the most ridiculous things be left in her dressing room prior to each show. Jess wasn’t sure she, herself, could handle another year of listening to Benita brag about how great she was and disparaging everyone who made the slightest mistake. However, Madam Baxter loved Benita, so the chance of anything changing was slim—regardless of the rumors that suggested otherwise. It would be a miracle if anything had changed.

Kaley didn’t respond to Jess’s question, just watching her.

There was nothing in her friend’s expression to give away whether she’d received good news or bad news.

Sighing, Jess tapped the screen and the message opened up.

She scanned the contents of the email three times, the words still not sinking in. “They’ve demoted Benita and made me lead dancer for the next year,” she whispered.

“Yes, they did!” Kaley screamed, and a second later, Jess was caught up in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, Jess. You deserve this so much. You’ve worked so hard. I’m sure it was the last solo you did here that tipped the scales in your favor. It was amazing.”

“I’m going to be the lead dancer,” she said again, as if saying it over and over would help it sink in.

“Yes! And I got a text from Shaun saying that he heard from the assistant director that they’d notified Benita straight after our last performance that she was going to be demoted.”

Jess’s mind buzzed with that piece of information. “Wow this is big.”

“It is. You know what we need to do, right?”

“What?”

“We need to go out and celebrate with champagne, not coffee.” Kaley was dragging her to the door when Jess’s senses returned and she dug her heels in.

“Wait! Stop! What about you? What happened to you?”

Her bestie’s smile dropped a little. “I’ve been let go.”

The happiness she’d been feeling moments ago drained out. “What? No. Kaley!”

“It’s okay.” Her friend lifted a shoulder. “I knew it was coming. I haven’t been giving it my all the last couple of months. And, if I’m totally honest, I’m kind of tired of all the traveling around. I’m going to pack up my room at the apartment, and I think I’m going to go home for a little bit and then decide what I’ll do next.”

Mixed emotions warred within Jess. The thought of living in that apartment in New York without Kaley was something she didn’t want to contemplate. Sure, their other roommates were dance company members, but having her best friend there made living in the cramped space bearable.

Yet, she was so happy that she was going to be the lead dancer of the Baxter Company. Her workload would increase, but so would the money she earned, and she would be the face of the company. Her picture would be on all the posters around the country.

“I don’t know what to say,” Jess said eventually.

“Nothing. You don’t have to say anything. And just because my contract wasn’t renewed doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate what’s happening to you.” Kaley grabbed her hands and squeezed. “Honestly, Jess, I’m so damn happy for you.”

“Thank you for being an amazing friend,” she choked out, tears clogging her throat and eyes.

“Always. And I’m going to be front and center on opening night. That I promise you. Now wipe those tears and let’s go have that drink.”

“Let’s.”

When Jess got to the bar or wherever they were going, she was going to text Finn with her news. No, this was too good to tell over a text. She wanted to see his face when she told him.

All her dreams were coming true. She was leading the dance company. And she had Finn, something she’d always assumed wasn’t going to happen, but it was.

Nothing could stop her happiness.

Nothing at all.